Historical Figures you could beat in a fight

/thread

Id whoop this motherfucker right here.

I could take out Tommy Edison
I wouldn't tho, because then he could never improve the world and piss off contrarian teslafags who don't understand that he did more than just steal other people's ideas.

DELET

>implying it's difficult to beat a dead person in a fight
Pussies

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She could barely move in armor that thick. Plate armor was heavy as hell

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The weight was evenly distributed across the entire body, so a person can still be relatively agile in full plate.

>The weight was evenly distributed across the entire body, so a person can still be relatively agile in full plate.

A trained(male) soldier, maybe.

"TRAINED" LITERALLY 10 minutes in a suit to get a feel for it is all you need

plate armor is pretty comfortable actually, you can do cartwheels in it if you wanted to.

no silly billy, you're thinking of Jousting armor, which was incredibly heavy

youtube.com/watch?v=qzTwBQniLSc

Spotted the Anglo.

There was some brit show about Richard the III where they found someone who had the same deformity and had him put on armor to see if Richard could have fought/rode a horse.

The guy said it was a hell of a lot easier for him to move around with the armor on as it acted like an exoskeleton. He could ride a horse and swing a sword just fine with the armor on, but couldnt really with it off.

Unlike the rest of you I have confidence in my abilities

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People were much weaker in the olden days. You've probably read some stat about armour weighing 60lbs, but that's using French lbs, which were smaller than British Imperial lbs.

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He beat the shit out of his own attempted assassin. Glhf as you get caned to death.

Nicky was too pure for this world.

>beating an innocent defenseless Jewish child
>not kissing growing belly, marveling at her carrying the fruit of your love under her heart
>not having a playful written argument with her over baby names to kill time during the day, passing each other scraps of paper with a name written on one side and your/her rebuttal on the other
>not passionately making love at night
>not feeling the pressure from her incredible weight and huge round belly bearing down on you but have the indescribable pleasure of her tight pussy throbbing on you cock negate any discomfort
>not busting your extra thick load into your beautiful, nearly ready to burst Anne, filling your sweet love oven with your seed
>not looking on smugly as she reaches over to grab a rag she uses to clean up your oozing jizz
>not noticing her father looking at you approvingly, knowing that you are treating his daughter to the very best of the situation
>not being smuggled out of the Annex you have been trapped in for two years with Anne as her due date nears, being given the task of watching after her by her father, gifting you his NCO saber, a prized leftover memento from the first war, to use to protect his daughter if all else fails
>not helping Anne give birth in a Dutch farm turned safehouse deep in the countryside, forever sealing your bond with her
>not watching Anne hold the baby in hers arms for the first time, never wanting to let go
>not watching Anne breastfeed your child and her embarrassed, yet dotting expression your witnessing at such intimacy
>not standing guard as Anne and the newborn sleep
>not sneaking outside one misty morning to stumble upon a lone Rebel sharpshooter trundling down the road, acting as a skirmisher for the Army, and greet him with the sight of a smiling baby, as you have no other gift to offer him. But it nonetheless instantly puts him back in good spirits, knowing that despite a world consumed by slaughter, there is in fact still some humanity left in it.

I'm confident in my ability to take on every early 20th century writer of Weird Fiction, though I'd probably have to cheese Howard by insulting his mamma and punting him in the balls

I came here to beat something... And I did.

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Damn, beat me to him

>extra thick load

nigga did you just...

I'd wallop his alcoholic throat cancer-afflicted ass good

Hot

He only has one arm to punch me with

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But that's the arm he faps with.

Stop bullying Nicky!

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why can't you hit me, bitch?

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angulimala

That is largely a meme invented by movies/TV.

youtube.com/watch?v=q-bnM5SuQkI

Jousting armor was really weird. There was an entire helm design for jousting that apparently was never used in combat, the frog mouth helm.

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>Veeky Forums

Holy shit, good read.

>Let me at him! I can take this little fucker DOWN!

Even Timur the Lame is not lame enough for you to beat. Maybe you could beat baby Jesus. Wait, he ain't historical.

No way he has retard strength

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I'd start with his cat Nigger man.

I mean...How hard could it be?

They replaced this guy like three times

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Who do you think would win WWE fight? Pregnant Anne Frank or pregnant Joan of Arc?

Hint: The correct answer is Mills Lane

That guy in the pic died recently too

Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson is still alive tho

Pffft hahaha

Shouldn't he be holding the cane on the other side?

Ratings will hit 6,000,000

I never noticed how fucking cute Tsar Nicholas was.

>ebin redditheism
I could take this Swedecuck in a fight

anne via jeff mangum run-in

>Jeff burns Joan of Arc to death
>entire nation of France rises from the bleachers screaming for Anglo blood

Unless Jeff's got a couple of Panzer divisions at his disposal I don't think that's gonna work out.

>beating up Anne Frank
>not letting Anne Frank beat your meat off inside of her
>not pounding Anne harder than Brothers in Arms: Road to Hill 30 on Authentic difficulty for the next nine months
>not smug looking on as she labors in agony for hours
>not jacking off to her screaming from the searing pain as she starts to give birth
>not sticking your nice plump rod in her anus as the head begins to crown
>not thrusting in and out of her as she shrieks for you to stop tearing up her insides
>not nutting all over ass as she finally gives birth and you can feel the baby slide out and onto the bed
>not kissing Anne, who's too sick and exhausted to as much as sit up on the cheek and whisper in her ear that she did a good job

The real leaders of the world operate behind the scenes, you've never heard about them, and they're all skinny. You know, only among the plebs do you find big strong men.

I mean... If you want to hurt a girl, extreme sexual abuse is probably gonna leave a lot permanent damage than a simple ass-whooping.

Leave Ulyss alone, he's a good boy!

>got thousands of men killed using mindnumbingly stupid zerg-rush tactics
>only reason he wasn't fired was because he refused to withdraw as Pope and McClellan had done
>ran one of the most corrupt presidencies in history
>probably helped to derail Reconstruction

He truly dindu nuffin

what do you think he keeps in there

Probably Anne Frank

this fag

See

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who is this?
i see this posted all the time especially when it comes to autism

assburger

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finnish actor who has nothing to do with aspergers other than looking like one

Why are you a monoball? What happened?

>he fell for the "napoleon is short" meme

He had severe hemorrhoids and numerous health problems in his later life.

He looks like Corbyn in that picture

>but did they win?
>see above. While I respect McClellan, he was refusing to attack and ignoring the president at times. They weren't going to get anything done by sitting around.
>he was trusting of people and they abused it. Admittedly his presidency did not go well, he was not cut out for politics.
>explain this point

Not sure how well I'd do, but punching this man in the face has always been at the top of my time travel bucket list.

What else is on the list?

Also, I'd coldcock Marie Antoinette for her part in eroding the Ancien Regime

meh, idk if I blame her for it.

But to answer your question, mostly just witnessing historical events. Helping run rum across the frozen Detroit river would be pretty exhilarating, exploring with Louis and Clark, and then there's a lot of people I'd love to drink with like Ben Franklin and Teddy Roosevelt. ...I don't know why I haven't thought to make this a thread before. Gonna do that now.

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FDR had a strong upper body. He could probably knock you out.

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Angry kraut detected