Resume lying

Anyone lied on their resume before? How did it work out for you?

I wish to lie so I can break out of the neet life.

Yes, you can get jobs on places that dont bc too much but you will get blacklisted forever from places that do, still worth it imo.

Resumes mean shit.
Have them come to you.

In march I applied to a job that required from me to speak good french and I lied that I speak it very well, got the job and over the next 5 months was studying french intensively. now I'm working since the beggining of august and nobody would tell that I lied to get the job.
you need to combine lying with hard work and it will be ok

This. Lie as much as you want but only lie about stuff you are reasonably willing to learn should you get the job, and actually make sure to learn stuff once you have the job.

Also, make sure you know enough about the stuff you're lying about so you can bullshit your way through interviews.

this. also, the world is shit user unless you're rich af. I've lied 6 times on my interview and 5 of it went through. Make sure the company HR is stupid enough to believe you.

t. Psychology graduate

Just become a crypto trader. No need for resumes.

Im going to lie about work experience is that okay

I got my first job by lying, it worked out great. Quit because earning money for (((them))) is not worth the hours.

Advice please

>first job as a stupid teenager in college
>Have you ever worked in service before?
>uhhh....yeah....sure. In my high school I used to vounteer as a server at a snack bar working a register and giving people food
>Wrote this on my resume as well
>Oh good. Good to have someone with some experience who knows what they'll be dealing with
Wow that was easy.

If any restaurant asks if you have serving experience, since they all fucking do, just say yes and move on. They won't fucking call and you can learn the whole job in 20 seconds flat. Requiring experience for a shitty job like that is fucking retarded.

>sacrifice your integrity to become a slave

yes....
good job.

or be a trader in general

making money is a basic human function. even IQs with

i lied about having a year of experience on my interview and got the job today. how fugged am i for the bc check

Yeah alright but does this work for real jobs not restaurant shit? Like entry level engineering

Why would they check AFTER hiring you?

Bump

They just check for criminal shit

What can I tell them is the reason I was out of work for so long? I'm 26 and have never had a job but my parents are really pissed now and tell me to get one every day. I thought I could get rich off crypto but that's not happening so I realise I have to get one. Truth is I wasn't doing anything productive in my free time, just on plebbit, Veeky Forums and gaming

They all check you after offering the job. Otherwise they'd spend shitloads on unnecessary background checks you mong.

Passing the BC is a condition of you gaining employment.

Im a neet so I have no clue about anything...but

So far I've asked 5 people I know if their education was ever checked and they said no it wasn't. How hard could it be to lie and say you had an associates degree or even a bachelor's? (Obv not lying about a target school for investment banking with a perfect GPA)

>have very good grades (A*A*A*A* A level)
>applying to minwage jobs while studying
>rejected 100+ times
>write my grades as "passes in 3 A levels" and act as if I'm looking for full time work
>accepted THE first time I did this

Are u retarded?
They make an offer based on what you tell them.
Then if you accept, they check your credentials, do a drug test, etc. If your resume/degree doesnt check out, or you fail drug test, you lose the job.

If they called and checked everything BEFORE hiring, it would cause a lot of extra work for them and would fuck over a lot of people who dont want their current employer knowing they a job hunting until its a done deal.

I've literally never heard of anyone's degree being verified. Hell it feels like half the time they dont even check work experience.

>drug test
Do Americans really do this? Smoking weed on your own time is enough to not get a job?

What?

he dumbed down his CV

They call and check before hiring. Hiring managers usually whittle down candidates to usually 3-5 applicants and check their references, etc. Based on that information they'll make an offer.

I see this thread so fucking often. Just lie. Whats the worst that could happen? Are you applying at some company that is some how going to ruin your reputation? If you're neet status, I doubt it. As most of the good advice above me said, just be careful what you lie about. I've checked for companies that went out of business and said I worked there, fabricated some type of job that gave me the perfect experience needed and even gave them the real phone number, knowing that it was disconnected. And told them the reason I left is because the company went out business otherwise I'd still totally be working there.

>Becoming a wageslave
>2017
No

After getting rejected so many times i realised something was going wrong.

I changed my cv to make me appear like I dropped out of school and was looking for full time work.

Damn that's my plan too. (To say I worked at a shutdown business)

I'm still just super paranoid even though I know I shouldn't be...

Just do half-lies
In my country, it is pretty normal to write which languages you speak to which degree on the bottom of your CV.

My French is bad as fuck, so is my spanish.

But i still put them both as 'average'
Because, wtf is average?
It's like saying, that watch is expensive

Whats expensive for me, might be a bargain for you

devilish

But tbqh i don't think language knowledge is particularly helpful in most jobs

Was just an example
Also, as said before, i also do the shit user above said

Use bankrupt companies as a reference
I was team-leader in this computer branche, which was closed

And i was assistant supermarkt manager, at this supermarkt.

The supermarkt actually still exists, but they switch the managers every 1-2 years. So when HR calls and asks about me, they will just be like: euhm, yea sorry we are just here

Sadly this is true. When I'm hiring I go through that thought process, any one too ambitious isn't going to last at my company.

oh shit good idea man thank you im going to do this

How should I come up with responsibilities and shit that I did? Just think of stuff that position would do? - Just worried they'll call me out on it...

It depends on the size of the employer. You'll probably be able to share by at a smaller company without an HR department, or a shitty one. It'll be tougher at larger companies.

bump please help me get a job Veeky Forums and i will suck all your cocks