WAR COWS

Spear steers

You could also ride boar. They can be over 1,000 lbs and have tusks.

Thus, Pork Platoons.

Ungulate Legates.

Rib eye regiments

Steak strikeforces

Aren't cows like really fucking stupid compared to horses

Surrounded by their lieutenants, the Beef Bullion Centurions

Because every batttle would end in a huge barbecue and the soldiers would become fat and lazy.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Tondibi

>The Songhai battle strategy was poorly thought out, as the plan to send a stampede of 1,000 cattle to break down the Moroccan lines and to cover their infantry (who lacked the technology of gunpowder weapons) failed, with the cattle charge being repelled by the noise of gunfire and the sound of cannons, which caused the cattle to stampede back towards Songhai lines.
There is your answer

You realise horses are edible too, right? In fact they were first domesticated as a food animal.

Good plan, tho. Pretty smart for a Google.

Gross.

Horse tastes great

> "TRUST ME, I WOULD WRECK SHIT IN A CHARGE!!!"

In the First Crusade cows were sometimes used as a substitute for horses by knights.
But those were rare instances.

imagine what a bull bred for war would look like

Cows have much larger digestive systems which is extra dead weight.

Have you ever spent any time around cows in real-life? I have, and I can tell you that cows are not suitable for war. Cows are very peaceful animals. They're curious, but also easily spooked. They would not be able to perform any sort of war action.

I'm no cowherd, but aren't cows slow and docile things most times?
As for Bulls, have you ever watched a Rodeo? Not the most forgiving of mounts.
For charges and the like or for hauling equipment?

charges

>tfw when the other knights are about to participate in a jousting contest with their lanky little horses and you brought a bull as your mount

Would the Roman Equites then be Vaccites?

How come nobody used gold spears for war?

God imagine being the one guy who got stuck having to ride a cow into battle, the banter would never end.

>Back Knight Templar: "This is bullshit."
>Front Knight Templar: "Shut the fuck up, or I'm putting you back on the cow."

>ywn be a bully-beef chief, spurring up to cow-plough some worthless horsefuckers

Kill me now, spare me even another instant from this empty life

how did he get those gains?

Taurine, brah

Carlos!

we should start eating rass

that bull is a breeding bull, which likely means all he does is get blood and semen extracted, likely wont fuck once in life

So they are basically smaller elephants in terms of military risk and reward.

Would they be harder to armor since they're bigger?

ur mums a pretty big cow but I still managed to fit an arm in her lmoa

thanks

>yfw in an alternate reality the native americans and mesoamericans domesitcated bison and had calavry to beat the spanish off with

>they still died of illness

...

okay maybe not cows... but what about deers?
that would be pretty fucking majestic

We are not elves though...

War badgers would be the superior animal.
Imagine training badgers to fall from trees to maul whole squads to death like they do to moose.