Start reading about nazi spies

They didn't really have much choice. They had paid for their rearmament program by secretly running a tremendous budget deficit. They needed to get some sort of rapid return on investment to keep it going.

>Nazi diplomacy was absolute shit (it was mostly Ribbentrop's fault but still)
They got central Europe for janitors pay and managed to mislead and backstab the USSR. Their diplomacy was excellent.

Not really a spy, but does anyone have that post about the nazi commander who accidentally invaded a yugoslav town by having his scout boat sank and getting trapped on the far side of the river and decided to lie off his ass so hard that the town mayor believed he had a huge force backing him and would ransack the town unless they surrendered? If I remember right, the propaganda ministry didn't believe he managed to take the town without firing a single shot.

The AGNA was probably Ribbentrop's greatest actual achievement. The assignment was given to him by a jealous rival who wanted to humiliate him, and so gave Ribbentrop an assignment that he considered to be impossible. To the shock of everybody, including the Fuhrer, Britain allowed the AGNA to pass. This was the moment that Ribbentrop became Hitler's favorite diplomat.

Didn't an American paratrooper do basically the same thing in a French village?

this, Canaris and his guys actually did a lot against the Nazis, they helped Jews to get out of Germany and I think also worked with the Allies (though I don't know what they did exactly).
He was discharged in early 1944 and executed pretty brutally just a few weeks before the liberation.

the american one is about some new guy being sent to the front. Everyone points to one house and tells him thats where the germans are fighting from. So he just walks up to the house, knocks on the door, and tells the germans to surrender and they do, believing hes only doing so because the house is completely surrounded.

I mean, I can understand why people would surrender in either situation. If you don't surrender and they do have you surrounded, you're going to die. If you do surrender and they lied through their teeth, you get stuck as a PoW and probably sent back home at the end of the war if you're a grunt.

Sounds like Enron..

Yes but that was the French.

>one guy was sent to Canada to spy on them and all he did was take all his mission money like $50,000 and just got hookers and went gambling and then when the money ran out, he just turned himself in a defected
based lad

...

The absolute madman

>>Nazi art was absolute shit
>>Nazi music was absolute shit
Woah woah woah. Back the fuck up here.
youtube.com/watch?v=LnbvGh5D2iU
Those were the things Nazis got right, and they got them incredibly right.

>Stalin tricked the Nazi's into justifying Stalin fucking up the red army
>Himmler bamboozled but still technically does better than stalin
I mean that's a real comedy of errors

>one guy was sent to Canada to spy on them and all he did was take all his mission money like $50,000 and just got hookers and went gambling and then when the money ran out, he just turned himself in a defected.
This guy sounds fucking awesome.

How good were the soviet spies

THey were good, but Stalin often didn't believe them. One of them handed Stalin the date of Barbarossa, which he then ignored.

>One of them handed Stalin the date of Barbarossa, which he then ignored.
Holy shit...

italians were even worse. just generally incompetent, particularily in Britain, and they had the gall to wonder why fascism never took off there

Nazi's couldn't do intelligence, absorbing everything into the SS was a big mistake. SS was a clusterfuck of conflicting agendas and redundant departments. Massive corruption and personal vendettas too

Put down the child's dick, Rabbi. Their Science, Archaeology(stealing relics), and art was good. the rest did suck.

It wasn't. You clearly should read more about them.

>art was good
And study more art because your taste is terrible.

bretty good

Kursk operation's success was largely because of subterfuge operations to obscure the date and the direction of attack

The rockets and guns were better than the allied forces, with superior air power only rivaled by the brits. BUt because of the slave labor camps, the jews sabotaged their shit making them bad. And if, IF, the Nazis science was so bad, why did America and USSR fight to get their scientists during and after the war? And the art is because I like smoothness. It's clean and orderly.

>why did uncle adolf suck so much at espionage?

Because he intentionally made it so all of the different agencies and state apparatuses were busy fighting each other and jockeying for position. It's why Germany flopped so badly in the war.

>the rockets
Irrelevant.

>with superior air power only rivaled by the brits
And later the USA.

>It's clean and orderly
Social Realism is also clean and orderly. I wonder why you guys hate the Soviets so much. Under Stalin they were basically national socialists. They even censored the same things.

Because he wasn't a national communist

stalin killed his own people.

I'm pretty sure Stalin improved the lives of fellow Georgians. I am also certain he was more lax on them also.

t. brainlet that can't handle anything beyond impressionism because it doesn't look real

Turns out paranoid, hateful, violent people don't make for good leaders waddayaknow.

I mean Nazi music was shit. Name one good DJ from nazi germany

>paranoid
>ignore possible German invasion
What did Stalin mean by this?

They did have a couple of successes. Off the top of my head:

>the b-dienst was able to intercept and decode radio transmissions of the royal navy until 1943 (which ironically found out about though decoded german messages)

>operation north pole in which german forces captured dozens of allied agents in the netherlands and used their codes to fool the allies to continue providing the "agents" with information and supplies.

Soviet spies were the best. They had moles everywhere, even in Japan. Look up Richard Sorge.

their philosophy was good. gotta give credits where it's due, mr. rabinovich.

Furtwangler actually wrote to Hitler because he was so mad that the Nazis had made most of the good composers and conductors flee Germany. It was absolute shit.

>Socialist realism
It was shit compared to abstract expressionism (except maybe Brecht). Turns out listening to nonaeshtetic plebs is a bad idea.

Carl Schmitt and Martin Heidegger redeemed them, I guess.

They really shined after the war desu

>And study more art because your taste is terrible

Stop liking what I don't like, goy.

Science, art, music and philosophy was pretty good.

is this more your speed

>Put down the child's dick, Rabbi. Their Science, Archaeology(stealing relics), and art was good. the rest did suck.
Lmao hiw's that aryan physics treating you hans?

Sort of related, but America found out about stalins death before most of Russia did because an air force intelligence officer was listening in on Russian transmission and picked up the signal that Stalin had just died.

Oh, and the guy who did this was Johnny Cash

Stalin identified as a Soviet, not a Georgian. Lenninism and Stalinism reject nationalism.

If they waited any longer, more Germans civilians would be killed by the Poles in Danzig and during border skirmishes / raids

it´s fucking easy to spot a german, what did you expect?
to make thing worse, many germans abroad began inmediatly to wear nazi uniforms and shit, so the police inmediately had lists of people.

Although, Mincemeat itself only really succeeded because of Nazi incompetence. For example, any real attempt to verify any of the identity of the dead body would have lead to the ruse being unraveled very quickly. For example, in the pockets of his coat there was a receipt for a diamond ring with the name and phone number of the shop that was commissioned, if anyone in German intelligence had called the shop it would have been revealed that no such order was ever placed.

They were very effective, not so much because they had special training or motivation or that Russians are naturally good spies; but there were communists almost everywhere in the "developed" world, and the Soviets could usually get a leg up by liasing with whatever the local communist groups and sympathizers were and at least get set up. Other countries' intelligence services rarely had that kind of instant backdoor.

There was also a French Canadian named Léo Major who did a similar thing.
>Be near Zwolle
>Commander wants two men to volunteer to recon the town
>Private Major and his buddy, Corporal Willie volunteer
>They decide to try and capture the town alone instead of just recce it
>Willie gets killed around midnight after accidentally giving away the pairs position
>Major gets fucking pissed and kills two of the Germans, the rest flee in a vehicle
>Continuing on alone, Major finds a German car and takes the driver prisoner
>The driver leads him to a bar where an officer is having a drink
>Major disarms him and then after learning the officer speaks French, tells him the Canadians are going to shell the shit out of Zwolle at 6AM the next morning
>He then lets the officer go to spread disinformation and even gives him his gun back
>After this Major starts running around the town firing his submachine gun and tossing grenades
>He makes such a racket the Germans think the Canadians are attacking the city in full force
>Throughout the night he captures groups of 8-10 Germans before escorting them out of the city to his unit, then going back
>He breaks into civilian homes three times to rest during this period
>Along the way he finds the gestapo HQ, which he lights on fire, and the SS HQ, wherein he kills 4 SS officers and discovers a plot to infiltrate the dutch resistance
>By 4:30AM the town is liberated by one buttmad french canadian

more stories like this desu, I like me an absolute fucking madman

Sometimes being a spy is just knowing how to bullshit people *just* right

>he doesn't like dada
I'm fairly /pol/ and even I like dada, it's like artistic shitposting

There's a street in Winnipeg Manitoba called Valour Road, which was renamed to that after three men who grew up there obtained the Victoria Cross in WWI

Frederick Hall:
>During the second battle of Ypres
>He discovers in the night a few of his men are missing
>Goes out personally twice during the night to drag back wounded comrades from no mans land
>Next morning
>People are still missing
>Goes over the top alone to rescue a soldier crying for help, but ends up getting shot in the head before he reaches the trench
Robert Shankland:
>Leads a battalion of 40 men to reinforce a line key to defending Passchendaele under heavy German fire
>the battalion on his right flank ends up retreating due to heavy fire from an elevated position
>Shankland still holds the line despite being flanked and facing heavy casualties
>the battalion to his left ends up retreating as well, leaving him flanked on two sides by krauts
>He hands over command to another officer and proceeds to crawl through mud and enemy held territory to reach HQ so he could give a first hand account of the situation
>Also gives HQ a detailed plan on how to salvage it
>Then he goes back and leads reinforcements to continue the fight
Leo Clarke:
>Goes over the top with his men
>By the time they took the enemy position, he realizes he is the only one left
>At which point 20 Germans counter attack
>Clarke empties his revolver, then picks up two enemy rifles, empties them at the advancing enemy.
>At one point an officer manages to stab Clarke with a bayonet, but he shoots him and keeps fighting
>After Clarke kills 14 of them the Germans retreat, but Clarke pursues them and kills five more before capturing the last one, killing 19 in total and capturing an officer

For some reason when you give a Leaf a reason to fight they pretty much can't be beat. They fought like literal animals in WW1, using piss-soaked rags to charge through poison gas, and took a lot of casualties on Juno Beach on D-Day.

>this guy not only did this but did something similar and got ANOTHER Distinguished Conduct Medal in Korea
Literally the French-Canadian Rambo

>one guy was sent to Canada to spy on them and all he did was take all his mission money like $50,000 and just got hookers and went gambling
During WWI Wilhelm's intelligence have given huge load of cash to jewish enterpreneur Parvus to fund russian revolutionary movement. Instead of that Parvus used the money to support his business.
>hough I don't know what they did exactly
Rumors say that he was making arrangements between Britain and 20.07.44 conspiracy
He didn't ignored it. He wasn't sure, because germans were bombing all possible channels with misinformation.

Not much, really.

Every country has stories like that.

Leafs just have no history so they act like things like Vimy Ridge won the war.

tell me about it desu
>australians and gallipoli

Fuck no, Dada and Dix was some great shit

>you can tell whose spies were good by reading about it

They managed to really, REALLY fudge the Soviet division estimates for Barbarossa. Which is fucking ridiculous considering the number of officers and tank crews they had on training there just a few years prior.

>Le Polish aggressor meme

Exactly. "You just don't get it" is a meme, but in this instance really only sub 80 IQ brainlets or hyperautists that can't understand humour could possibly miss this.

People who hate dada generally don't understand that art is supposed to convey all emotions, not just le epin stoicism or heroics, and that humor is an emotion.
If you enjoy shitposting on Veeky Forums you're essentially engaging in modern day dada; /pol/ is essentially a continuation of the dada idea that you can satirize your society and the politics of the present through tongue-in-cheek silliness and pisstaking.

>Le believing everything schlomopedia tells you