Your favourite ancient myth???

So the jews are (SPOILER ALERT!) getting persecuted again after settling in Canaan, their promised land, even though they had been absent from it for some time and others had a claim on the dirt and fig trees.
So these people, the Philistines, are basically stealing Israel's lunch money every day, even on the weekends. Lo and behold, some dork and his wife who actually follow YWH go on and they consecrate their son before the LORD, and the priest tells them he's going to be Hebrew Hercules as long as he doesn't cut his hair.
>wut
So the guy grows up, and he's a real Hebrew Hammer. He's strong as fuck. He kicks everyone's ass. One day he sees some Philly's chillin' in a field, picks up the jawbone from donkey skull lying nearby and beats them to death with it. A whole army.
Later on he'd take up with a whore from Philly and their relationship was like Johnny Depp and Penelope Cruz in Blow. Eventually she got her homies to cut off his hair and thus his strength; eventually his hair grows back and he manages to bring down the temple to their fish-god Dagon on everyone's heads, presumably after a bittersweet farewell to Delilah.
So that's not my favorite, my favorite is about Ehud, who assassinated the King of Moab or whatever goatfucking bronze age backwater harassing the jews. He killed the guy on the shitter.
Then there's Judge Debbie, who runs court under a palm tree and gets some general to take 10,000 troops or whatever to draw out some Syrians or whatever bronze age goat-fuckers are persecuting the jews this time. The Syrian commander flees, enters the tent of some woman named Jail and passes out after having a cup of milk.
Jail pins his skull to the earth with a tent peg.
I used to read the Old Testament for hours after church growing up for this shit. None of that boring "punish yourself and live boring lives" new testament Peter/Paul crap, it was straight up bronze age justice and an angry, vengeful god.

>Your favourite ancient myth???
Aeneas because it relates to Rome

>Tell also this myth in your own words
I like the way encyclopedia dramatica puts it.
>According to legend, it was fovnded by the descendants of a Trojan prince who had escaped a severe pwnge at the hands of the Greeks. Adopting a strategy that wovld be followed by every command and conqver geek to come when faced with epic fail, he hid on a tiny vnexplored area of the campaign map and began to plot his revenge. Of covrse he forgot, being a fvcking Trojan and all, and decided to bvild a city instead; a new Troy that wovld spawn a new race of Trojans one day.

encyclopediadramatica.rs/Roman_Empire

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>Your favourite ancient myth???

THE MYTH OF SOFIA'S "FALL".

>Tell also this myth in your own words

WHEN SOFIA WAS STILL IN THE PLEROMA, SHE INTENDED TO GO TOWARD THE SOURCE, ATTRACTED BY ITS LIGHT; SHE EASILY RAN PAST THE GUARDIANS —MINOR AIONS— AT THE GATES OF EVERY LEVEL OF THE PLEROMA; THE GUARDIANS SEEING THIS, BECAME INDIGNANT, SO THEY DEMANDED GOD TO STOP HER; GOD CONCEDED, AND WILLED A PHOSPHORIC LIGHT WITH THE FACE OF A LION, RESEMBLING THE LIGHT OF THE SOURCE, BUT PLACED IT TOWARD THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION —"DOWNWARD", AWAY FROM THE SOURCE, TOWARD THE EDGE OF THE PLEROMA—; SOFIA SAW THIS FALSE LIGHT, AND MISTOOK IT FOR THE SOURCE'S LIGHT, SO, SHE FOLLOWED IT INSTEAD; WHEN SHE REALIZED THAT SHE HAD BEEN DECEIVED, IT WAS TOO LATE; THE LIONFACED LIGHT DRAGGED HER OUTSIDE THE PLEROMA, THROWING HER INTO THE DARKNESS; THE DARKNESS PULLED HER FURTHER AWAY AS THE GUARDIANS OF THE GATES MOCKED HER; IN HER SORROW AND DESPERATION, SOFIA LONGED FOR THE LIGHT, AND THAT LONGING MANIFESTED AS A REPLICA OF THE LIONFACED LIGHT WITH A SERPENTINE BODY, SUBSEQUENTLY, SOFIA INTENDED STABILITY IN THE MIDST OF THE AMORPHOUS DARKNESS, AND THAT INTENTION MANIFESTED AS MATTER; SOFIA THEN INTENDED ORDER, AND THAT INTENTION MANIFESTED AS DISTINCTNESS, AND DIFFERENT KINDS OF MATTER, ET CETERA, THUS, THE KOSMOS WAS CREATED.

>was going to have all the gods through plants/flowers on him for some reason
Baldr's mum Frigg learned of a prophecy in which he would be killed by his Brother Hodr. So Frigg got all the animals and plants to swear that they wouln't hurt him, making him invulnerable to them. However, she left out mistletoe because she deemed it to insignificant to bother with.
So the gods are all chucking shit at Baldr for laughs, and are having a great time. Loki, being the jealous shit that he is, hates this. So he makes a javelin out of mistletoe and gives it to Hodr (who is blind) to throw. Guided by Loki, Hodr throws the mistletoe javelin and kills Baldr

Well it's a central Norse myth, so you obviously haven't looked into that topic at all.

Do you think Caulifla can take on Zeus?

Orpheus. He journeyed into the underworld in pursuit of his beloved, and found there the secret of eternal life. He founded a new religion, dedicated to the salvation deity Dionysos Zagreus, child of Hades and Persephone, who died so that humanity might share the divine spark and be worthy of eternal life. His religion became extremely popular and widespread, going on to form the basis of Christianity, and Orpheus himself was so popular a figure that he was anachronistically shoehorned in to many much older myths, such as his appearance in the Argonautica.

The one where Artemis transforms a guy into a deer.
I love Artemis.

I like the Egyptian myth where Set, the god of evil, seduces his bother Osiris' son, Horus, and fucks and tries to ejeculate in him to show his dominance. But Horus catched his semen with his hand and threw it in a river. Then Horus' mother, Isis, gives a handjob to her son, catches his semen and spreads it over lettuce. God Set loved lettuce, so he ate it and the semen as well. That way, he was impregnated, and Horus showed his dominance.

Don't forget some disk came out of Set when they called out the semen and Thoth put it on his head and was then on the moon god.

What's y'all's favorite type of mythology?
Do you prefer Norse, Greek, Egyptian, or something else?