Jewish food autism

Can anyone explain the logic behind these to me because it seems like they're deigned to fuck the user over nutritionally

>live on the coast but can't eat crabs
>pigs everywhere but can't touch them
>even the meat you are allowed to eat has to be slaughtered properly, making hunting for yourself impossible as well as neighbors' food
>you can have dairy but not if you've also had meat recently, arbitrarily limiting your protein intake
>can't cook anything at all on Saturdays
>can't even eat BREAD on the holiday

It's like, what the fuck does a poor Israelite live on at that point?

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=uG7VtVr4eFw
youtube.com/watch?v=HznvMjFYUgc
oukosher.org/blog/corporate/the-worlds-best-known-kosher-trademark/
ok.org/assets/OK-Kosher-Symbol-Brochure-2016.pdf
chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/113425/jewish/What-Is-Kosher.htm
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

Luckily Israel has ENTIRE grocery stores, butcher shops, dairies, etc. selling kosher food.

In 1000 BC?

Religion, mang. Ain't gotta explain shieeet. Ancient wisdom and stuff. If you disagree, then you must wear a funny hat, not unlike that guy on your pic.

It's very simple, and you would know this if you bothered to read the Old Testament.

>You know those people you live near? Don't eat the shit they eat. I don't want you getting too friendly with those guys.
>Follow these rules so that you can only realistically eat meals with other people who also follow the rules. Stay as one culture.

The point is social, dietary laws were invented to make it impossible for a Jew to share a meal with their enemies: The Canaanites were famous pig breeders, the Philistines lived by the coast and ate a lot of shellfish, and the requirement for religious slaughter covers most other possibilities.

>you can have dairy but not if you've also had meat recently
You're not supposed to wash down animal meat with the milk of that animal because doing that would be insulting to the animal. Imagine a regular cannibal vs. a cannibal who kills you for your meat and then forcibly milks your mom's tits so he has something to wash it down with. That's why the old testament calls it "barbaric." It's not because it's healthy or not healthy for you personally, it's about your behavior relative to the animal you're killing for meat and how even though you're still going to kill them the least you can do is show a little respect in how you go about it.
>can't cook anything at all on Saturdays
That's not really food specific, there's just a day of rest once a week and that day of rest involves not doing any work including cooking.
>can't even eat BREAD on the holiday
Can't eat *leavened* bread. They still eat unleavened bread, which is like crackers basically. It doesn't taste as good, which is kind of the point since the holiday's meant to make them remember a bad time for their ancestors in the past when they weren't able to have luxuries like leavened bread.

That's just a charade for "kosher" food to work in this century, which is actually natural food and not the chemically enhanced and GMO shit you qoyun pick up at Walmart.

GMO is kosher. Kosher food is not necessarily healthy or "natural".

>Can anyone explain the logic behind these to me because it seems like they're deigned to fuck the user over nutritionally

Yeah, Judaism is a bunch of obfuscating nonsense to mask the fact that followers of Moses are pretending to Divine Sovereign Immunity. That's the point of it.

youtube.com/watch?v=uG7VtVr4eFw

Then why doesn't my local kosher store sell any GMO shit and the local village Rabbi calls it "the disease of Gehenna"?

do some research my friend, you will find the answers you seek

>doing my own research
>not getting dubious wikipedia articles or /pol/ nutjob blogposts plastered in your reply I don't even check and accept as facts
what am I? a nerd?

It's pretty simple, actually
>Crabs are full of diseases, don't eat them
>Pigs are full of diseases, don't eat them
>Kill your animals as quickly and painlessly as possible for a Bronze Age civilization
>Take a day off, you can cook other days
>Remember the harsh times your ancestors went through

This. Every product you buy has a kosher tax and stamp on it.
Look for it.
It's usually a 'K' with a circle around it.

>I am too stupid to tell the difference between a trademark and a tax.

That's like calling the price differential between a no-brand and a brand equivalent of cereal or soda or whatever a tax.

>forcibly milks your mom's tits
Sounds hot as fuck, tbqh.

It's not a trademark. It's a stamp that verifies that the food is kosher. And they pay a committee to certify it.
This is why I hate Veeky Forums, it's full of a ton a of passive aggressive pseudo-intellectuals who explode when you tell them outside their realm of knowledge.

installing laws that inhibit your follower from making bonds with non follower population is useful tool to cement your control over the congregation.

Absolute bullshit, pigs were DOMESTICATED in the middle east, the idea that food laws have anything to do with health is idiotic, for one it assumes ancient people knew about how diseases work, and for two it ignores the reasons the people themselves gave for their dietary laws.

Also, Kosher Slaughters are much more gruesome and painful than "regular" slaughters. So yeah, again with THIs user's point about pseudo-intellectuals.
youtube.com/watch?v=HznvMjFYUgc
youtube.com/watch?v=HznvMjFYUgc

Except for the last one though none of that has any relevance anymore though.

It is ENTIRELY a trademark by the companies that certify things kosher. And if you put that trademark on your product without their approval, they will fucking sue you. That's why they are little designs instead of someone writing "Kosher" on the label somewhere.

oukosher.org/blog/corporate/the-worlds-best-known-kosher-trademark/
ok.org/assets/OK-Kosher-Symbol-Brochure-2016.pdf

>The registered trademark of (Can't get the stupid mark in, heh) Kosher Certification stands the test of time; it is broadly understood, easily recognized and universally accepted and respected

>This is why I hate Veeky Forums, it's full of a ton a of passive aggressive pseudo-intellectuals who explode when you tell them outside their realm of knowledge.
Pot, meet kettle.

It's a kosher tax.

Evidence of food taboos dates all the way back to the tiny hill tribes of 11th century BC Samaria. It's an ancient practice that was almost certainly co-opted into the Elohite/Yahwehite religion(s) at a later date.
In later times, it helped the Jewish people survive by preventing assimilation. Whether explicitly (e.g. rules against marrying gentiles), by design (e.g. preferable treatment towards Jews in daily life) or by ancient accident (e.g. kosher laws, circumcision), a lot of Jewish religious laws seem to be keen on separating Jews from other peoples and keeping them a distinct, cohesive group wherever they are.

Not as bad as a muslim during Ramadan in December near the arctic circle. Talk about IceSIS

This - though to put it more kindly, it's about cultural identity, and thus cultural survival, which nearly every other thing the Jews did centered around. The most important of which, of course, was writing all that shit down, prolifically.

Which is why, despite multiple diasporas and spending so much time nationless, regionless, often hated to hunted to boot, they are still around. Without these rituals of cultural identity, the Jews would have come to an end in Babylon, and we'd know about as much about them as the Hittites or the Philistines, rather than having them live among us to this day.

So there's something to be said for snippin yer dick.

This is yet another /pol/ bait thread though, so saged.

It nonetheless probably *started* with some high Rabbi's family getting food poisoning, as most of the prohibitions are against food and parts of animals it is easy to get poisoned by, but yes, in the end like says, it was about cultural identity, and in the end, it probably a large part of what caused their culture to survive, insomuch as it did.

it's the same reason the indian caste system has different diet demands, to keep as a homogeneous within a mixed world.

We know how it started, the Oral Torah is very clear it was introduced during the Babylonian Captivity in order to keep the Jews from mixing with the Gentiles and losing their identity.

Yes, but I suspect Rabbi Joe got sick on some Babylonian crabs to inspire the idea, and there were probably similar minor epidemics in the community regarding some other crap food that the Babylonians were selling to them.

I mean, if it was something that was nearly always safe to eat, like say apples, that'd be another thing, but it's almost all centered around shit that, when ill prepared, will make you sick, and being Jews, you know they were getting the cheap stuff.

Rules, and especially stupid rules, are an extraordinary way to gather people under the same beliefs. The fact that they are arbitrary but seen as God's law, it gives somehow a meaning and direction to the life of those who follow them.

>"A mitzvah is a Divine “commandment” and “connection.” We eat kosher because G‑d commanded us to, and by fulfilling the Divine will we connect to G‑d.

>Our sages also point out the various advantages of the kosher laws: the health benefits, the humane treatment of animals, their unifying effect on a dispersed people, and their role as shield against assimilation. Additionally, Nachmanides, the great 12th century sage and kabbalist, points out that “the birds and many of the mammals forbidden by the Torah are predators, while the permitted animals are not; we are instructed not to eat those animals, so that we should not absorb these qualities into ourselves.” Kashrut (kosher laws) can thus be seen as “spiritual nutrition.” Just as there are foods that are good for the body and foods that are harmful, there are foods that nourish the Jewish soul and foods that affect it adversely.

>None of the above, however, is the reason we keep kosher. Rather, we keep kosher because, as the commandment of the Creator of our bodies and our souls, the kosher way of life is obviously beneficial to both aspects of our beings."

chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/113425/jewish/What-Is-Kosher.htm

Why do you insist that the oral Torah is lying and that ancient people had knowledge we know they didn't?

>muh post hoc ergo propter hoc

Because those foods keep fucking terribly in the desert and get people awfully sick.

That's the answer OP. That's all there is to it

Because God said so you heathen fucks

I remember a jewish friend of mine telling me that you're not supposed to have meat with milk if they come from the same animal (i.e. steak with cow milk) but if theyre from diffrent animals (i.e. steak with goat milk) its all good. Does anybody here know why?

Jewish, and I've never heard this in my life. It sounds like your friend was either confused, mistaken or lied to by their parents.

In addition to what says, the literal rendition of the forbidding in the Torah would translate to

>Do not cook a calf in its mother's milk.

Possibly he got confused off of that.

Cultural/societal norms

i.e. tools to dominate the weak/suckers

Most Jews are secular who don't care about those rules

>I don't know what a tax is.

Wait, why can't they eat crabs?
Jewish people are cool but their religion and culture is fucked.

You're not supposed to eat any sea animal without clearly defined fins and scales. Shellfish of any sort, shrimp, whale, certain types of sharks with smoother scales, eels, etc, are all non-Kosher.

Da fuq. Literally why.

Look upthread. They're primarily cultural re-affirmments. Don't eat the stuff that those heathen tribes (who you actually share a lot in common with, but let's pretend that you don't) eat, because then you might get to socialize with them and realize they're not that bad after all.

Is that a rule they don't really follow? Like the pope tells me I'm not supposed to masturbate but that doesn't stop me.

Depends on how observant the jew in question is. But the ones who are serious about the religion sure do.

Are you trying to insist that ancient people didn't know they'd get sick from shit that wasn't cooked, and this was more likely to happen with some foods than others?

As said elsewhere in the thread, primarily cultural identification - but, if you look into it, it's because most of all those other creatures are bottom feeders, and eating that which eats the dead is a no-no. Thus chickens fine, vultures, not so much so.

It wasn't an entirely unique cultural moray at the time, and yeah, if that stuff isn't cooked through you're more apt to get sick from it than actual fish. Unagi isn't raw for a reason. While it may be rooted in a superstition birthed from practical experience, it became a religious practice with little to no connection to the original health concerns - though, if you ask a Jew, they'll still cite health concerns to this day, and go on to make some entirely erroneous ones based on spurious research, regarding, for instance, mixing meat and dairy.

Chinese have a cultural moray against mixing hot and cold foods - and even that isn't entirely without foundation. Given the sorts of hot and cool foods they ate at the time, it'd make you pretty gassy.

> 9“But as for you, take wheat, barley, beans, lentils, millet and spelt, put them in one vessel and make them into bread for yourself; you shall eat it according to the number of the days that you lie on your side, three hundred and ninety days.
>10“Your food which you eat shall be twenty shekels a day by weight; you shall eat it from time to time.
>11“The water you drink shall be the sixth part of a hin by measure; you shall drink it from time to time.
>12“You shall eat it as a barley cake, having baked it in their sight over human dung.”

Is that kosher?

can you stop playing arm-chair historian? it's fucking embarrassing

Not him, but seems a reasonable scenario. Similar food prohibitions against many of those same foods popped up in other cultures all over the world, including some Amerindian tribes, possibly for that same reason. "Shit killed Chief's daughter - no one eat it." - Og

If you prefer to think it's because Jews are all autistic, fine, that's your call. (Or, if you're Mormon, I suppose you have yet another explanation ready.)

>If you prefer to think it's because Jews are all autistic, fine, that's your call.
>i do

>kosher tax

this explains literally everything

They didn't know refrigeration was coming

Someone explain why 6 million Jews in the US (out of a population of 326 million) warrant so much attention that multi-billion dollar food companies pander to them by providing proof of being kosher.
How do the Jews wield so much power that massive conglomerates consider their dietary requirements?

You explain why three million people with celiac disease in the US (out of a population of 326 million) warrant attention that multi-billion dollar food companies pander to them by providing proof of being gluten-free? How do the Celiacs wield so much power that massive conglomerates consider their dietary requirements?

>celiac disease in the US
every few years i discover a new snowflake US-endemic thing, be ADHD, dyslexia or now this thing.

What a fucking bullshit analogy. One is a religious taboo, the other one is actual disease.

Bait better, cunt

Because they're willing to pay for the service, enough to support several companies to provide it. That's how capitalism works.

Didn't know the celiac disease was a religious taboo

Celiac disase is incredibly rare and there are just as many other diseases that require restricting ones diet that we dont bother labeling for. No, the gluten free craze is a gigantic scam and marketing scheme for health food nuts and its based on hippie ideas anyway that are no way related to medicine

The Isrealites spent the majority of their existence as an occupied people by cultures that were trying to assimilate them.

Their diet laws were a defense. It would be impossible for a Jew to go to the market and buy food from a non-Jew because they wouldn't meet the strict requirments. Not only that but they cannot eat at the same table of someone that eats a ton of common food. So again that's another way they cannot interact with the other culture.

Basically the only people they can interact with are other Jews. They can't even wear clothes made by non-Jew because of mixed fabrics.

It might look silly to you but consider this. All the other cultures from that time period ended up dead. The Jews were the only to survive. They outlasted fucking Babylon. They out lasted a thousand other tribes who's names are not even recorded in history. They survived by assimilating by the Greco-Roman world when every other people it came in contact with became Hellenized.

The Jews are freaks of nature with an insane ability to survive that's second to none.