>Dionysius once had Philoxenus arrested and sent to the quarries for voicing a bad opinion about his poetry. The next day, he released Philoxenus because of his friends' requests, and brought the poet before him for another poetry reading. Dionysius read his own work and the audience applauded. When he asked Philoxenus how he liked it, the poet turned to the guards and said "take me back to the quarries."
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how can u arrest someone for not liking ur shitty poems
where all the greeks such fags?
Kings, despots and tyrants could generally speaking do mostly whatever as long as they didn't piss off any powerful people/cliques.
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>Triboulet couldn’t contain himself and slapped the monarch on the bum. The monarch lost his temper and threatened to execute Triboulet. A little later, the monarch calmed down a little and promised to forgive Triboulet if he could think of an apology more insulting than the offending deed.
>A few seconds later, Triboulet responded: “I’m so sorry, your majesty, that I didn’t recognize you! I mistook you for the Queen!”
>In a famous exchange with the actor Samuel Foote, Sandwich [John Montagu, 4th Earl of Sandwich] declared, "Foote, I have often wondered what catastrophe would bring you to your end; but I think, that you must either die of the pox, or the halter." "My lord", replied Foote instantaneously, "that will depend upon one of two contingencies; -- whether I embrace your lordship's mistress, or your lordship's principles."
This burn was so famous it is commonly misattributed to other famous people, including John Wilkes and Benjamin Disraeli.
Don't know if this qualify as bantz but
>Once Krates, the Cynic philosopher, didn’t answer to a question by Stilpon, but just farted… expressing his contempt. Stilpon responded to that with that way :
>“I knew that your answer will be totally irrelevant to my question.”.
from memory
>Zeno of Elea presented his proof in the Agora at Athens as to why all motion was impossible because of an infinite amount of finite actions necessary
>Diogenes rebutted by walking away.