You are now the emperor of china during the Han dynasty

Teach my generals how to make a long bow and heavy cavalry, Kill all the eunuchs and rule an indestructible dynasty.

>conquer korea
The mountains and immense autisim will stop you
>conquer nippon
Enjoy having a ninja teleport behind you

Send missions to Rome, help the military leapfrog technologically into the future, order a series of military incursions into the northern wastes to exterminate the Manchu and the Mongols.

Also, fuck all the bitches and measure my success by how wide a variety of bitches I have access to.

>Gooks
Lol send ships
>Ninjas
Name one time when an emperor was assassinated by ninjas

> Pay one steppenigger to attack another.
No, that's literally how they got gud at war and was the reason they were so butthurt towards China. This only makes the Mongol stronger.

Use my knowledge of mathematics and modern science to attain mythlike status

>Name one time when an emperor was assassinated by ninjas

None were because they knew not to anger the Japanese warrior.

>build up diplomatic relations with Parthians/Sassanids and Rome, start trading with them
>look after the population, see that they are OK and don't starve or anything, maybe introduce basic education for the masses
>improve infrastructure
>"invent" the printing press, steam engine, germ theory, tell the scientists everything I know
>build up a professional army that is small enough to afford but still able to deal with all threats
>maybe conquer a bit if the empire is stable
>live a good life

>try not to get assassinated
>try really hard not to get assassinated
>hopefully die a natural death

Accept St. Thomas and be baptised in the Faith, making China Catholic empire

also, if the situation allowed it, I'd build tons of these a milleinum early and send some guy without balls on expeditions.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zheng_He

>The Virgin Galleon
>The CHAD Junk

just noticed what I wrote in the filename kek.
>Zhen He's giant junk

He still had no balls though.

Destroy korean and vietnamese languages.

Expand naval technology to reach some sort of open ocean sailing ability.

Trade heavily with India, Thailand, Arabia and indonesia, opening their markets to high quality chinese goods.

Invent arabic numerals because I'm such a boss.

Set up time zones and lines of longitude-latitude.

Have imperial alchemists invent gunpowder, paper and the printing press.

Singlehandedly invent the stirrup, waterwheel and sextant (see: order it made and take credit for it later)

Send expeditions to North America via naval exploration of the bering strait.

Banish criminal elements and unruly nobles to Alaska.

Maybe discover Australia too.

>Send expeditions to North America via naval exploration of the bering strait.
that's a nice idea, I think I'd send ships to Hawaii, build a naval base there, send expeditions to Mexico and Peru, conquer the natives and set up tributary states for all that gold.
Does that sound even remotely feasible?

Genocide the horseniggers, the poos, cambodians, nips, koreans, and the manchus

>banish a ambitious general to alaska
>he goes further south, unites the northern american tribe and fucks up the colonies

send some lads to colonise taiwan

That's what I'm hoping for.

>fucks up the colonies
>during the Han dynasty

I think the most realistic thing would be to put a focus on naval ability and exploration, something that China neglected.

>t. Xi Jinping

Yeah user crossing the Bering strait on a boat is the ridiculous part. Not the time traveling instant learning consiousness.

You sure showed me.

You are a smart person.

Yeah
The chinese colonies that would be set up after the discovery of a new continent
Also romans would probably get involved in the colonial game once news gets to them

They'd be penal colonies anyway. I'm hoping for the eventual establishment of independent states.

That wasn't meant as an insult actually, the question at the end was regarding my idea... Doesn't seem very feasible, then...

It's a lot harder to get to new england from britain than it is to get to Alaska from Kamchatka user.

I only said it because of the situation posted above
Realistically they would go somewhere in south america

Realistically they didn't even get to Ireland.

Rape koreans

What would be harder?

A Roman ship trying to reach America from Spain or a Chinese ship trying to reach America from the Phillipines or Japan?

I heard the Pacific is far calmer than the Atlantic and therefore better for ships, would that play a role?

the pacific is much larger though

Do you think it could be done with a large enough fleet?

throw enough boats at it and i'm sure some will get across

kill every horsenigger. replace them with han settlers.

How would Han soldiers fare against the Indios?

At its narrowest the distance between asia and North America is less than the width of the Korean peninsula at its widest point.

With this knowledge it would actually be piss easy to get to North America after establishing fortified supply depot outposts along the siberian coast.

No idea desu. That point of American civilization is poorly understood. The inca and Aztecs wouldn't be heard about until late in the 14th century. Even less is known about pacific coast north American natives.

Why specifically?

The Bering strait is little colder than Greenland or Iceland and a journey hugging the coast is easier than reaching either.

The Vikings sailed down rivers in Russia, dragged boats to rivers leading to the Black sea, sailed through the Mediterranean and back to Scandinavia, then sailed to America for fun. Yet no other civilization they passed could do this. This isn't to snub Byzantium, the Emirate of Cordoba, Francia or the Anglo-Saxon kingdoms. It is just a fact. Clearly naval science in this era was not linear.

Why is it some kind of massive taboo to posit that maybe, just maybe, the Chinese, for all their rugged junks, leeboards and water tight hulls, didn't have ships suited to long distance travel?

>Why specifically?
Because caesar fucked up more than half his fleet just crossing the English channel and the Romans couldn't even motivate themselves to invade and colonize Hibernia aka Ireland.

They're not getting to N. Aamerica user. Sorry.

The Han have a distinct advantage. An user emperor that very specifically knows about the bering strait, knows how close Alaska is and is ordering an expedition because he's the mother niggering emperor of the fucking Han dynasty.

Who wins? Who's next? You decide!

The guys with metal weapons and armor and proper military organization.

>indestructable
Until you die, of course. Then everything goes to shit.

But Cortes and his men had better equipment than the Han, so would they need a giant army to get across the Pacific or would a few hundred or a few thousand soldiers suffice like for the Spanish?

Yes and the Bering Straight is full of ice year round and over 2000 miles from Nanjing.

Depends what you're doing. Conquering a vast empire, settling a colony, protecting a trade outpost, securing a penal colony.

If all you're doing is settling a trade outpost where you trade a few dozen pounds of low quality bronze for a few hundred pounds of high quality furs, you don't really need an army.

But only a few hundred miles from one of the long range outposts I'd have built.

Not because they couldn't. Agricola was planning to conquer it with one legion and some auxiliaries before he got fired.

Your main port and shipbuilding area is around Nanjing.

They found some roman military/trading outposts near Dublin in the 90's.

If Xiongnu Han then obviously rekt those fuckers then expand westward to get in touch with rome while the infrastructure is still intact

If post-Xiongnu Han then conquer primitive Nips to forever secure the seas and eventually flank Korea

If eastern Han then fuck it, literally, all day, in the inner palace

Doesn't matter.

>conquer Korea and Japan
attacking the Korean kingdoms, enjoy over extension into the mountainous terrain, just make them your tributary
>japan
enjoy draining your treasury just to fucking develop that shithole.
The Han Dynasty spent 100 billion each year just to develop the Hexi region(426,700 square kilometers). They also sent 1 million people to colonize and develop it. Now do the same with Japan, a place further away
>Lol send ships
Eh, they tried, turns out. Conquering Korea is not that easy when you are already overextended

>Create anime before Japan

Promptly rid the court of eunuchs and female meddlers and stock my government with men of talent. Institute a power-sharing program which specifically keeps these men loyal to me, with occasional covert loyalty tests to keep them honest.

Institute sweeping philosophical reforms stressing rational inquiry over divination and superstition. Reform the examination system to be strictly merit-based, introduce base-10 mathematics, algebra, the number zero. Issue an imperial decree commanding that all religious traditions (Taoists, Legalists, Confucians) have a mandate to educate the masses, particularly in the rational sciences. Make rational inquiry a central premise of the imperial examinations. Purge Chinese alchemy of its mystic roots and reform it into true chemistry.

Embark on a massive public works program with the primary goal of mitigating the damage caused by the notoriously flood prone Yellow and Yangtze rivers. The goal would be large, powerful cities supporting rural areas with as much balance of power between the two as possible, with the ultimate goal of making sure that rural farmers aren't finding their livelihoods stolen from them by unscrupulous land owners. The goal is taxes raised in the metropolitan area paying to keep small farms afloat by buying their grain and distributing them to starving urban poor. The goal would be to have rural food production infrastructure supporting a sophisticated class of urban artisans and intellectuals. Commission religious festivals which encourage rural farmers and cosmopolitan intellectuals to celebrate each other's existence and view themselves as the co-dependent fraction of a greater whole.

Marry once, leave two inheritors: an heir and a spare. Devote one to martial and athletic vigor, make him subordinate to the one schooled in knowledge and cunning. Make monogamy the Confucian ideal.

>Devote one to martial and athletic vigor, make him subordinate to the one schooled in knowledge and cunning.
Seems like you're asking for a civil war.

>stock my government with men of talent. Institute a power-sharing program which specifically keeps these men loyal to me, with occasional covert loyalty tests to keep them honest.
And you expect them not to overthrow you, how?

They're loyal to him retard. He could also install a secret police.

The Emperor's power comes from divination and superstition throughout the Empire. While stressing rational inquiry is good, having too many smart people makes it harder to control an empire that large with the communications system problem it will have.
user means well, but the initial choices he made would most likely produce a large amount of rebellions.

>reddit the post

fuck chinese bitches

If you stop tipping the fedora as much you wouldn't do too bad

>Seems like you're asking for a civil war.
not with a clearly delineated line of succession. If every official and their mother knows that it is the scholar-son who is to ascend to the throne, with his brother (with whom he had been raised from a young age in a humble environment) serving as his most trusted reagent. By forcing the boys to grow up and cooperate from a young age, the goal would be instilling a deep brotherly love in them to outlast my life.

>And you expect them not to overthrow you, how?
Through a combination of fear and rewards, both by playing people off of each other to keep them suspicious of my inquiry, and with a robust system of rewards to encourage loyal behavior. People don't rebel when they feel like they have a stake in the system, and when they are continuously afraid of the machinations of my secret police, they'll actively fear anyone who attempts to bring them into a plot against me, knowing that it could very well be a false flag designed to entrap them, and come running to me with the news of treachery.

>Taving too many smart people makes it harder to control an empire that large with the communications system problem it will have.
They were smart before they were educated. Educating them just gives them something productive to put all that energy towards besides tawdry power-plays.

The goal would be to replicate the reign of Taizong of Tang, who did much to dispel the culture of superstition in Tang China and introduce more rational methodologies into the Chinese mindset.

>user means well, but the initial choices he made would most likely produce a large amount of rebellions.
Ruling through fear and ignorance produces even worse rebellions because it fosters a court culture of "it's more important to say yes than it is to tell the truth". Ruling exclusively through kindness would only undermine my authority. The goal would be a harsh but fair combination of both

Pacify the Jurchens to the northeast. Offer preferential warrior status and hire them on as a professional retainer. Establish trade relationship with them.
For Korea, make big fleet of boats and kill all the pirates and then fuck their ports up if they resist.

The goal would not be to eradicate religion or force everyone to be atheist.

The goal would be for people to become doctors, engineers, mathematicians, and chemists instead of witch-doctors, astrologers, diviners, and faith healers. My religious policy would mirror that of ancient Rome: "as long as you keep the peace and pay your taxes, I don't give a fuck what your religion is".

>warrior son says he's the scholar because he studied sun tzu
>all the military backs him because he won tons of glory in war
>takes over the throne but is super incomptent loses mandate of heaven and gets the dynasty over thrown

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mandate_of_Heaven

The heir-and-a-spare model is the most stable form of succession that any despotic model has yet come up with. That "powerful general" could easily be someone who crawled their way up the ranks, so the goal would be to give him an emotional investment in the reign of his brother, especially if he is well provided for

Decree that all males over 5'4" have to be made into eunuchs.

t. turbo-manlet

>What do you do?
I dunno, I never was interested in asian history. Can somebody give me a quick rundown?

nah. I'm 6'2" and Celtic.

I just want screw over the Chinese gene pool and make them even shorter.

I submit to the Great Khan Cock

Establish direct diplomatic relations with Rome. We can conquer the Parthians from both sides

Give my Empire to Koreans.

dunno

Declare that every firstborn daughter from every family must be given up to be blessed by the emperor's divinely mandated seed.

Also fuck up the steppenegros and j*ps something fierce.

fuck shit ton of scythians, sogdians, tocharians, bactrian qt

Pretty much this.
And bring me all the weed and opium you can find.

Spend my entire treasury and military and go on a completely genocidal campaign against the steppeniggers, killing every single one of them. I'll leave the state in utter ruin but I'll die knowing that I did good for the future of humanity.

Fuck bitches, eat food, get drunk, and not necessarily in that order but pretty much every day.
Like why the fuck do I want to go out and conquer shit or hang with the peasants? I'm the fucken emperor, bitch!

Ah, so you have the knowledge to build a steam engine? What about building an actual printing press? I know it's carved blocks and ink and wood, but you gotta put it together. Guess you can get some chinese nerds together and figure that out. Germ theory is the easiest, but you'll need to know lenscrafting to build a proper microscope for proof.
Oh, and why the fuck do you want to put reading in the hands of the peasantry? Your nobles will kill you for that shit.

pay for horsefuckers to make slaves of each other. Build a personal slave army of cute girls. Whenever they displease me I rape their commanders in front of them. Should they lose a battle, decimate them with horsecock.

Wage war on the tibetans for teh lulz

Enjoy my wealth and harem as long as I can and then maybe run with the money before the people revolt

>implying they won't flee west to the Pontic-Caspian steppe
>implying you won't make the invasions of the Huns, Avars, Magyars, and other steppenigger fucking shits even worse than they were in our history
>implying they won't create some kind of nightmarish blend of steppe nomad and European culture

I actually kinda want to see a Euro-Mongol conquest of the New World desu