ITT we post Histortical Figures we want to see in movies

Advertise it as a comedy (Watkins himself was quite the humorist and the book has more than its share of comedic moments) and it'll sell. That way we can lure audiences into watching what they think is a silly rom com but instead find themselves confronted with an uncensored epic of the War Between the States in all its horror, tragedy, glory, comedy, and everything in-between.

Love it, let's do business.

I'm actually Ari Gold, head of Warner. I have a thing for unfound tallent

>tricking people into thinking a civil war movie is a light war comedy like MASH.

>is actually about America's bloodiest war in history...

Kek

>Ari Gold

lol I thought you were the head of MGA?

M*A*S*H itself was a thinly veiled attack on the Vietnam War so basically yeah.

Also, get Randy Edelman, Hans Zimmer, Michael Nyman, and John Williams to collaborate on the soundtrack so we have a combination of the epic thunder of Gettysburg and Gods and Generals, the tension of Black Hawk Down, and the light-hearted comedy/tragedy of Star Wars.

Samuel Johnson

Title: Speak English!!!
Actor: Tourette's Guy

Samuel Johnson reads various Veeky Forums posts and responds in absolute revulsion at the vile content. All while cursing incessantly.

QT: Samantha Barks

...

Check3d.

Also this is gold.

If this is made I want the first episode to show Charles as a teenager when he got drunk with his cousin and threw furniture out of the palace windows and forced a bear to drink wine

programs about ugly fucks having blind dates are so 2005 user

Eumenes of Cardia
Movie Title: The last companion
Actor: Fassbender, I guess
All about the Succession Wars. Let the movie start before the death of Hephaistos, so the audience can see how was a mere secretary. Then just follow his way through the wars until his death. Also show the other theaters when needed, for example the failure and murder of Perdiccas.
Qt:Rose Byrne or Rachel McAdams as Kleopatra of Macedon

Harald Hard-Rule
Dunno who that should be cast as him

Who would play Bohemond?

Simple, Hugh Jackman.

Guns of the South adaptation with Stephen Lang cast as Robert E. Lee (he's already played Stonewall Jackson and George Pickett, so it's about time he played the Marble Man). Co-starring Jerome Flynn (after proper accent training) as Nathan Bedford Forrest and Sharlto Copley as Andries Rhoodie.

QT: Mary Anna Custis Lee was pretty old by the time of the Civil War, I guess a resurrected Audrey Hepburn could play her in flashbacks.

Khan Tervel
Battle for Europe
Heath Led nevermind Jared Leto
Turks invade Europe in 716 and besiege Constantinople. The byzantine's are struggling and then comes Khan Tervel with his warband of Bulgar Horsemen and btfo the saracens, kills muslims, they are scared and go back, he befriends the Emperor and are good christian friends.

I would love an adaptation of Codreanu's "For My Legionnaires" to be made into a film. I don't know what actor would be Codreanu i don't know many, i also don't know too many hollywood qts

I think what woul be interesting would be to see Codreanu's passion and patriotism rise from the moment he followed his father to war, when he gathered weapons and trained in the woods at night with his classmates, when he was always blocked or attacked by the establishments and still united so many people.

The Romanian legion was so dark, so superstitious and so odd of a nationalist group that it would be interesting to see it portrayed in a dark way perhaps even stylized.

Three I want to see are:
Cortes
Arthur Wellesley
Martin Clemens

Pregnant Anne Frank
Movie Title: Amsterdam Sniper
Actress: Hannah Taylor-Gordon or Elie Kendrick
Plot: On the eve of WW2, a 10 year old Anne's American cousin takes her on a camping trip, teaching her to hunt, shoot, and survive in the harsh wilderness, spinning campfire tales of great American sharpshooters like Annie Oakley, Jack Hinson, and Timothy Murphy. The hours spent learning to shoot cultivating Anne into an excellent shot and gives her a different outlook on life. Five years later, Anne falls pregnant while in hiding. No longer content with watching the Nazis terrorize the people of the Netherlands from her window, she decides to take matters into her own hands, steals a Kar98, and begins a one teenage mother guerrilla war against the German occupation.
QT: Isaac Hempstead Wright as Peter van Daan, guest starring Scott Eastwood as Anne's American cousin (deliberately left unnamed), Sam Elliot as Jack Hinson, Kelly Macdonald as Annie Oakley, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau as Simo Hayha, Stephen Lang as George Patton, Christoph Waltz as Hans Landa, Carmine Russo and every other actor from Danger 5 who played a historical person in their respective roles.

Trevithick

Obviously, played by Mark Williams. Mark Williams (AKA Weasleys' dad) just looks like him. Not a bit like him. Its just the same fucking face.

Why does he deserve a film? He was probably the most alpha figure of the industrial revolution:
>He would get drunk and lift mining officials upside down so their legs touch the ceiling
>He built steam engines while not giving a single fuck about Watt's patents
>He experimented with high pressure, which in Watt's opinion made him deserving of hanging
>He build one of the first (steam) cars, and it exploded when him and his buddies went to the pub to celebrate its success
>Build the first steam locomotive
>He would not take shit from anyone. He invented a way of getting sunken ships up by compressed air - when his first client tried to haggle, he just dropped the ship and let it sink again
>He was involved in building the first Thames tunnel
>He went to Peru for 11 years which would probably warrant a film of its own noting the shit that happened there

He was a big, rowdy man, and at the same time one of the biggest geniuses of his time. Forgotten, because he was admittedly a shit businessman.

Eh, this might work with the right lead. I'd cast Idris Elba.

Chris Hemsworth, and use the other brothers as his de Hauteville relatives

To expand, him not giving a shit about patents included Watt's solicitors being chased out of Cornish mines by mobs of angry miners and villagers armed with mining tools of various sorts.

Idris Elba.

Edward, the Black Prince. Show his victories in Crecy and Poitiers. He was the most talented English general in the 100 years wars, wasn't he?

>Heath led-...
>Jared leto

Good save.

If I ever got the funding, there'd be a movie about Hannibal crossing the alps featuring a 20 minute scene of him cutting out his own eye.

>20 minutes about Hannibal cutting out his eye

How the fuck even?

Him working up his willpower, then starting, then working up more willpower while the knife is still in, etc.

Would make a killer indie film desu

Movie Title: Last Days
Actor: No idea who could even play Johnston.

Make it about the last days of the Army of Tennessee with the movie following Johnston Negotiating with Sherman and dealing with the increasingly strange demands from Jefferson Davis to continue the war. Almost like Downfall with Davis, like Hitler, telling Johnston to do things that cannot be done and convincing himself the war can be won, while Johnston has to deal with both him and the armies surrender.

Qt actress: Margot Robbie or Emma Watson as some maid

"Cafe dictators",a sitcom
Set in Vienna, 1913, it would feature men who actually where there at that time and became famous in future. They would meet at one cafe as friends and have hilarious clashes of ideologies. I'm not an expert on comedians so I'll just say who would appear
Main protagonists (The actual figures that were in Vienna, 1913)
>Adolf Hitler
>Joseph Stalin
>Leon Trotsky
>Josip Tito
>Sigmund Freud
>Vladimir Lenin
Sporadic cameos (weren't historically there or just don't fit)
>Franz Ferdinand
>Benito Mussolini
>Winston Churchill
>Mahatma Gandhi
>Theodore Roosevelt

A while ago I developed in my mind an entire movie based around the First Crusade, as autistic as it is. It would focus on the main crusader leaders rather than focusing on just one, although there'd still be a central character, Godfrey. Bohemond, Raymond and the Byzantine Emperor would also play important roles. No love interest because I don't want that ruining my movie.

holy fuck

That would be awesome.

Yi Sun-Sin

Take this shit to hollywood user

Fuck you that's been my go to pitch for nearly a decade (except hitler, stalin and Trotsky are all roommates)

already done.

youtube.com/watch?v=h-mi0r0LpXo

So, basically this but with Hitler.

>I would personally love to see this as a Veeky Forums and /tv/ project where we just rewrite/recast Cheers with these guys.

Timothy Dexter
Actor: Jim Carrey
Title: Gauntlets, Coal & Cats

Historical figure(s)
>Maislavskis (think I spelt it wrong) vs Naryshkins
Movie title:
>The Ascension
Actors:
>IDK
It's about the secessions conflict between Russia's version of the Tudors and the Stewarts

Well I'll be damned

that picture makes him look like Edward Norton, but he doesn't really from any other angle.
I agree with the rest of this post though. A biopic of Codreanu and the Iron Guard would be really interesting

Obviously Sean Bean

Christian Bale as Codreanu?

This one would more suited for a miniseries/2-3 season long TV show, but it definitely have movie-tier production value

Franklin D. Roosevelt and Huey Long
Actors: Jon Voight and Josh Brolin

In an alternate timeline where the Confederate States won the American Civil War, North and South have existed in an environment of mutual hatred and suspicion for almost a century. In the midst of the turmoil of the Great Depression, Roosevelt and Long are elected presidents of the USA and CSA respectively. Despite despising each other on a national as well as personal level, the two are forced by circumstance to work together to pull their countries out of the Depression. The two countries form the Tennessee Valley Authority as a joint effort to rehabilitate their economies. The rise of Adolf Hitler and the outbreak of World War II then force Roosevelt and Long to consider the unthinkable, a military alliance between the Confederate States of America and the United States of America against the threat of Nazi Germany. With the fate of the world at stake, soldiers and the blue and grey go to war side by side for the first time.

QT: Well Huey Long and FDR and their spouses were already middle-aged by the 1940s but I guess Sandra Bullock could be cast as Rose McConnell Long. Alternatively, cast a young European actress and make her a secondary protagonist from whose eyes we see the outsider's perspective of the events unfolding in America.

I definitely think the militia in Grand Budapest Hotel were based on the Iron Guard, with Brody resembling Codreanu. Pretty ironic given his ethnicity, but whatever.

I want this

Arminius
Title: Teutoberg
Actors:
Quintilian Varus- Kevin spacey
Arminius- not sure, maybe brad pit, can't think of anyone good.
Plot: basically have an intro of romans taking German children from their home tribes, one of them is arminius, didicate 15-20 minutes to establishing him as a true roman in every sense as he grows up in Rome.
Cut to future, he is with varus in the army, lots of foreshadowing, varus is a shitty commander but everyone listens to him because arminius stands up for him.
Get news of an uprising in the north, arminius asks to be in charge of navigation, marching, arminius and German auxiliaries disappear from the sides of the roman line into the woods
Notgood.jpg
Ambush
Lots of fighting
Romans slaughtered by arminius using their own tactics against them.
In the end arminius gets killed by other Germans Julias Caesar style for trying to unify Germany under himself
Role credits, hole time during credits is augustus yelling QUINTILIUS VARUS GIVE ME BACK MY LEGIONS!

SO NO-ONE TOLD YOU LIFE WAS GONNA BE THIS WAAAY

>subplot of Father Coughlin using his radio show to tell the Americans how much better Long's leadership is than Roosevelt's

...

>Emma Watson

Top QT

Some key events might be long winning the game of 4d chess and completely rework the entirety of the confederate constitution to whatever he wants
FDR gaining complete and total government control on all levels through jewish tricks
An episode about an attempted assaination attempt on long and FDR forcing long to realise that he isnt immortal which pushes him to rewrite the constitution and forces FDR to realise that he doesn't have the full support of the people which drives him to make congress a meme

But he doesnt speak French like Bohemond did

And Romans didn't have English accents.

Hollywood magic at its finest

>Long gets shot
>still says "please god don't let me die, I have too much to do" as he's collapsing, but gets rushed to the hospital and saved, leaving him bedridden and paranoid for weeks

Socrates
Title: The Philosopher
Actor: I have no idea
A comedy about the end of Socrates life. Really all I want in life is to watch Socrates literally blow peoples minds a la Plato's Republic. Not to mention it wouldn't be hard to make a comedy out of the trial.
Qt: again no idea

Ralph Fiennes as Paul Lettow-Vorbeck
Liam Neeson as Jan Smuts
Idris Elba as one of the Aksaris

Title unknown
Guaranteed sucess

>an attempt by a gun man to kill FDR is stop by the FBI
>the man is a borm and raised negro US citizen
>FDR is left in shock and soon realizes that he lost the full support of the people
>the only thing seperating him from long is now gone
>season ends with USA and CSA election happening
> long wins by a hair mostly because he sucked off miami hard enough to get the florida vote
>FDR wins because he did something he never thought he would have to do
>he rigged the election

All I want is a film about the battle of Flodden desu

Don Pelayo

Turks were pretty asian looking around that time user. Better pick an asian actress.

Some subplots I came up with

>Confederate States and United States have a heated competition at the 1936 Olympic Games in Berlin, with Jesse Owens as the first black Confederate athlete ever allowed to participate
>Long and FDR contend with a pair of radical paramilitary movements with the CSA and USA that are determined to derail the détente
>Joachim von Ribbentrop's efforts to secure the CSA as an ally of Germany backfire when he makes negative comments about Judah P. Benjamin, who is widely regarded as a hero in the South for helping to secure Confederate independence
>Long is infuriated by the publication of Sinclair Lewi's It Can't Happen Here and attempts to prevent its publication in the Confederate States
>Recognizing the threat Stalin poses (in part because he shares some of the same basic impulses), Long urges FDR not to provide material aid to the Soviet Union
>the SS St. Louis arrives at the Confederate port of Havana, requesting asylum
>Lyndon Johnson, a Confederate congressman from Texas, implores Long to accept Jewish refugees from Europe
>President Long, impressed by the performance of German airborne forces in the invasion of the Netherlands and Crete, authorizes General Bill Lee to begin forming Confederate airborne divisions at Camp Toccoa, Georgia
>Richard Winters, a US Army lieutenant, attends the Confederate airborne school at Toccoa as part of a cross-training program, Col. Robert Sink is so impressed that he offers Winters a commission of captain in the CS Army
>the Confederacy refuses US requests to declare war on Japan, seeing the war in the Pacific as not their fight
>The Manhattan Project gets underway and FDR realizes he'll need Confederate support for Uranium enrichment, the two countries agreeing to work on the bomb together (on the condition that neither side will use it against the other in any future conflict) at Oak Ridge, Tennessee

The story of the confederacy and the union in time line should be more about the mending of their relationship
The CSA and USA should start off on very bad terms with slang and propaganda thrown on all sides
As the show progresses the radio stations start becoming more and more pro alliance, the propaganda starts to shift from a inbred blackman with the word yankee on his shirt and obeese white trash watching nascar and start shifting too two proud men in grey and blue marching to fight the shadowy german threat
longs story should be that of a confident and charsimatic shady man slowly falling apart becuase of the political enviroment of the south until he becomes a petty paradnoid yet honest and trust worthy man and his work is pivked up by his successor
The story of FDR should be that of a man loved by all, the shining paragon of good who can do no wrong, slowly becoming nixion tier in the corruption level but does everything that was necessary for the USA and CSA to survive

>George Marshall is appointed General-in-Chief of the Confederate States Army, a position not held since Robert E. Lee
>Roosevelt convinces Long to end his country's long-practiced racially exclusionary policy and allow blacks to be enlisted into the Confederate Armed Forces to avoid a manpower shortage
>Allied spies discover German communiques referring to a "solution" to the Jewish question, FDR assumes it refers to deportation whereas Long realizes the coded language's insidious meaning
>The United States loosens immigration restrictions, allowing large numbers of CS citizens to immigrate and work in the American war industry
>Long and FDR quarrel over whether it will be an American (Dwight D. Eisenhower), or a Confederate (George Patton) who will be put in command SHAEF
>Rommel faces down against CS General Nathan Bedford Forrest III in North Africa and finds he lives up to his great-grandfather's fierce reputation
>the USS Iowa and CSS Virginia ferry FDR and Long to the Big Four meeting in Tehran
>Chesty Puller of the Confederate States Marine Corps and a veteran of the Banana Wars is sent to advise United States Marines on conducting amphibious operations in harsh jungle terrain as the Pacific War heats up
>US troops wade ashore on D-Day, while Confederate airborne troops drop from the skies overhead
>Confederate troops spearhead Operation Market Garden, with troops under the command of Nathan Bedford Forrest III making a successful link-up with British forces at Arnhem and beginning the push toward the Ruhr Valley

Top pick. Best historical husbando.

I'd personally have multiple actors and make it a biopic focusing on his time with the Varangians. A decent retelling of the leadup to Stamford Bridge would be cool as well.

Soundtrack by Turisas.

>A Dutch Jewish girl (you don't need to be told which one) living in hiding with her family is arrested by the Gestapo and put on a train to a concentration camp. They are saved from certain death the train is derailed by the Tigers, elite Confederate soldiers recruited from the the poor white and Cajun communities of the Deep South for their survival and outdoors skills, dropped deep into German territory to carry out lighting raids and disappear into the wilderness. The girl strikes up a friendship with the unit commander, a captain from Mississippi who is also of Jewish descent (Shelby Foote), going as far as allowing him to read through her diary. Foote, horrified at the treatment of Jews by the Nazis and himself a writer, vows to help her publish it after the war and begin his own research into the fate of Europe's Jews.
>In an unprecedented move, FDR offers the Vice Presidential nomination to dual citizen Harry Truman in the hopes of continuing to improve CS-US relations after his death.

It's Oscar bait.

>Ralph Fiennes

Well... Amon Goeth's daughter is a coalburner so it's a natural next step.

>>Joachim von Ribbentrop's efforts to secure the CSA as an ally of Germany backfire when he makes negative comments about Judah P. Benjamin, who is widely regarded as a hero in the South for helping to secure Confederate independence
classic Ribbentrop desu. This is the most realistic thing anyone's posted about this

There's some damn good sitcom value here

Dude this is gold, get this written and published

I want a Ridley Scott film of Saint Sebastian, a Praetorian Guard and a Christian Martyr

...

It's great movie too I highly recommend it. Pretty sure its on netflix too.

So basically Schindler vs Amon Goeth Round 2 but with blacks instead of Jews?

We need a movie about the Duchess of Orleans, Elizabeth Charlotte. Her husband was Louis XIV's brother Phillips, who was known as a homosexual.
She had a pretty crazy rivalry with Madame Due Maintenon and made it a goal to live without medicine in order to outlive her.

The movie will be a comedy with drama elements, and she should be players by Imelda Staunton (She played Umbridge in Harry Potter)

Sorry, I'm on a phone, damn autocorrect and laziness
Du Maintenon*
Live without medicine and became somewhat of a fitness but, such as walking outdoors and belittled unhealthy French beauty practices, all of that to just outlive and spite Maintenon.

Imagine two old biddies trying to outlive each other purely out of spite!

Played by*

bad king john creator of magna carta and military rationing in the 13th century

Not so much an individual, but an event: the Batavia shipwreck

Basically a 17th century Lord of the Flies meets Nightmare on Elm Street

This sounds interesting. Is this based off the proposed Franco-British Union of 1940?

No you stupid kraut, germans don't deserve a nationalistic movie

Would probably be best as a tragicomedy like Forrest Gump.

youtube.com/watch?v=M_JVaMuZZBQ

I'd love to see a movie about Machiavelli.
Title: The Good of the Many
Actor: Michael Cera looks the most similar
Machiavelli and his friends Piero Soderini and Francesco Vettori help overthrow the Medici, then get involved in ousting Savonarola as well. Tension would build as he traveled to Spain, France, and Rome as an ambassador while Soderini becomes more and more corrupt in an attempt to keep the Republic secure. Machiavelli would struggle with Soderini's descent, eventually realizing that it may sometimes be necessary for a leader to be bad for the state to be good. Then, of course, the Medici would come back and torture Machiavelli but he wouldn't tell them anything. He gets sent to a noble exile where he sits around in a lethargic stupor until his qt wife convinces him to write down his philosophy.
Qt actress: IDK it could be almost anyone

Juan Pujo Garcia
Movie Title: God Save the Fuhrer/Heil Churchill
Actor: I don't know, David Mitchell

Literally just follow him through the war, no fictionalization required.

>name
Gustav Adolphus
>movie title
Löwe aus Mitternacht
>Actor
Al Pacino

It would portray the swedes in general and especially Gustav as crusaders against catholic-austrian religous fundamentalism. It would center on a few huge battles.

I just want some kino Pike and Shot battle porn tbqh

Mannerheim
Movie: The Marshal of Finland
Actor: I don't know, someone outrageous inconsistent, historicaly inacurate and hopelessly anachronistic like a Kenyan actor. Maybe Telley Savalas Otieno.

>name
Juan Pujol Garcia
>title
GARBO: Get that Spaniard!!!
It would be a kind of dark comedy told in vignettes, seen through flashbacks and flashforwards, as our main character tells the story of his spy ring to the German High Command. The vignettes would range from the flamboyant, in one a French spy played by Jean Dujardin would engage in flamboyant spying for the Germans, think of a cross between Cluseau and OSS 117, fumbling to steal plans from the even more over the top and inept Americans, a dashing Spanish agent played by Javier Bardem engages in a honeypot operation with a sultry American spy to steal information about the OSS, a German spy played by Christoph Waltz is in deep cover to gather intel on troop movements of the Allied forces. Now all these stories have the spies coming up with similar information on a plan for the allies to move their forces in a concerted attack on France, and our main character Juan, played by (I'm not sure who yet Spanish actor), will be telling all this info to the German High Command in flashforward scenes, with the Germans then taking this information and then a shot of troop movement. We then flashforward to Juan, explaining everything he said to the German High Command to the allies, and then we get a flashback of Juan basically explaining his whole backstory, the fake spies, the idea to be a double agent, all of it. Our final shot is then the Allies preparing to launch their attack, not where the Germans think they are going, but Normandy Beach. Cut to black, scrawl comes on explaining Juan's backstory l, how true everything is, how many allied lives it's thought he saved, etc.
>director
Quentin Tarantino

Apologies if this comes out disjointed

We could have a sequel about diogenes called the philosopher's dog

>Name
Timothy Dexter
>Title
TIMOTHY DEXTER
>Plot
T I M O T H Y D E X T E R