Post Retarded Stories of Normies That Don't Know History Thread

my sides

>Literature teacher said Einstein was a 19th century scientist
And she didn't mean like "Born in the 19th century" but ONLY lived in the 19th century.

I've lost faith in humanity :(

>learning medieval history
>resident dumb bitch raises her hand
>"wait is this all true?"
I guess she thought it was all fairytales.

>they just came outta the mist man, i can still hear the chest thumping

That's a crime against math and history

My mother thought africa was a country until this year.

reminds me of a girl who was convinced South Africa was just an area and not also a country.

Was she a native anglo-speaker?
If not it might be due to the fact that some languages mean 1900-2000 when they talk about the 19th century.

My wife's grandfather was in Vietnam and swears there are gorillas
>be inna Nam
>sitting around at firebase
>guy gives me weird pill
>fuck it
>start to feel funny, everything looks brighter, can smell color
>some dude with a gold head tells me I have to go out for a perimeter patrol
>well his head IS gold, must be important
>inna jungle, trees are very friendly people
>bebopping around with big green men and golden head, guy with huge green eyebrows keeps telling me things, just smile and nod, which seems to be enough for him
>hear loud noises, all the green men, bigbrows and goldhead fall over, start making loud noises too
>start making louder noises then them, cause my noise maker is bigger
>see flashes of pink in the distance
>small earthquakes, see another flash of pink
>make noise in the direction of the pink, want to make sure whatever it is can hear me
>pink things flops over, it's a gorilla
>start to worry, think I hurt it
>other pink gorilla comes and picks up sleepy gorilla, throws earthquake rock at me
>get angry because I don't like rocks
>make more noise more gorillas fall
>feel wetness on my leg, look for the dog that peed on me
>make lots of noise, make 4 or 5 more gorillas fall
>noise maker stops working, so start throwing my own rocks
>gorilla rock lands near me and I throw it back
>world switches color a few minutes later
>decide to lay down because this isn't fun anymore
>decide to never take pills again
And that's the story of how he won a Bronze Star with V and got shot in the ass while tripping balls on acid. It's funnier when he tells it.

how does it feel having a drugged version of Rambo as your grandad?

Damn worst my relatives ever did at war was steal chocolate at the canteen and kill japs and Germans.

>sister reading some holocaust novel or something
>we're talking about anne frank
>i point out that anne frank died of typhus at bergen belsen, there were no gas chambers at bergen belsen, and half the prisoners there died after it was liberated by the british
>she doesn't believe me and calls me an antisemitic conspiracy theorist

also once met a chinese guy that had literally never heard of hitler and the holocaust.

>>damn that's nearly as good as this pic.

btw user did you hear about how she had a whole chapter of her diary on 'self exploration' (masturbating) but her dad took it out before publishing.

Yeah thats pretty common knowledge. I actually read a bit of her book, not all of it. She was politically involved at a young age, and her parents didn't want her to be, but she used to go to Zionist meetings with her aunt or something like that.

It's funny, she wanted to genocide another people, but ended up getting genocided herself.

I have some more from school, not exactly Veeky Forums related, more geography but anyway

>in Religious education class (catholic school)
>teacher gives us a map with modern day countries and a list of various apostles/saints and where they travelled
>we have to shade in on the map for each one
>one of them says an apostle or soething went to "southern russia"
>one kid literally shades in the entire southern half of russia, all the way from the caucasus to siberia on the pacific ocean, when its clear the thing just meant the caucasus region by "southern russia", not a massive area of 10 million square kilometres

another one
>kids in 7th grade each have an assignment on a country
>teacher hangs the assignments on the wall
>one of the kids did one on india
>literally circled the entire continent of africa and labelled it "india"

your first story made me laugh out loud fuck me ahahahaha

where can i get pdf with that and on which page is it

Are you sure she isn't ISIS?

When we learned about the Civil War and Reconstruction, someone looked at the map of the Confederacy and asked if that's where the Confederate flag came from.

DJ_khaled.gif

>Sir gay

>user implying he is better

Btw wanna buy some Veeky Forums a Gold while your at it?

What are you on about, the guys name is Sergej?

Boi when I get home I'll have some fun with this

Wdu mean user?

Pic unrelated

No, where we are "XIXth" century is 1800-1900. No room for interpretation

>Straight A geography female student
>Doesn't know where America is on a world map
Western Highschool is a joke, you don't "learn" anything, just what the exam answers are.

>also once met a chinese guy that had literally never heard of hitler and the holocaust.
Well how many Americans know about the Nanking massacre?

Still, Chinese education does teach western history.

>If not it might be due to the fact that some languages mean 1900-2000 when they talk about the 19th century.
No language does it. There is no 0th century, retard.

Trained in gorilla warfare.

Most Americans don't know about the Holodomor, or China's Great Leap Forward, either.

youtube.com/watch?v=jnp3AgXP0dU

ahh the 0th century, those were the days.

>back in upper secondary school
>spent weeks learning about post-Napoleonic Europe including the unification of Germany
>girl in class asks what Prussia is

to be fair most Americans don't know too much about a lot of historical events. "Hurr Durr We Saved Everyone In WW2 Hurr What's A Soviet or a British Hurr Durr"

I remember 9 years ago playing Call of Duty World at War with my friend, you get to fight as Americans against the Japanese.

He kept saying "die Chinese fuckers", i had to explain they weren't Chinese but Japanese, he said he didn't know the difference.

>dropping acid in a war zone
That's hardcore shit Grandpa.

Most folks usually just stick to the opiates and amphetamines.

dw user my teacher said that there's no such thing as Prussia and it's actually called Russia.

Ive always wondered if the names are related

Maybe they thought they were pro-russians and it got contracted

for the love of God user never say or think that again.

Dw my gramps who was in WW2 couldn't tell the difference either. When he returned whenever he saw anyone Asian he had a ptsd meltdown.

Prussia was the name of the indigenous pagan culture that got enriched by the Teutonic Order. They just kept the name for the lols.

A fellow university student (in criminology) genuinely thought there was one world war, with WW2 being the second half, where Adolf hitler killed his way to the top.

>half the prisoners there died after it was liberated by the british
Woah... hol up so you be sayin dat it was really the Anglos who hated Jews?

well no, but logistical efforts prevented saving many. Much like the British raj during ww2.

Without WW1 there is no WW2, so it's not THAT wrong.

They said the Great War was from 1901-1920.

Also isn't aware Russia isn't USSR anymore.

I feel nothing but ecstasy that the anglo is getting his comeuppance

stupid kid me would get pissed at anyone who called Russia 'russia' and made them say it was the USSR.

silly user... spirit of true Brit empire lives on in Colonies. True britbong land of England is deaded.

They're a communist cuck. Yet they don't even know communist history besides reading Marxist shit.

Whatever helps you sleep at night

kid me was a commie retard, I would've came in my pants if Bernie Sanders was around back then.

>poor user insinuating britbong empire was a failure and is right now.
>jealous of Australian, American and NZ lifestyle and fact that britbong colonies in Africa do better than other colonial nations colonies.
>hurr durr brit empire ded and stupid hurr"

I'll post stories

My 10th grade history teacher said that the Catholics were the bad guys and Muslims were the good guys in the crusades.

Idk, i met a chinese guy a few weeks ago who didn't know where mongolia was.
And yet their schooling is fucking brutal, i feel bad for them.

that teacher seems like a huge liberal. Also really stupid

>good and bad sides in the Cr*sades

not al Chinese schools are good. The best students get the best schools. Plus they have a huge population so there's bound to be a bunch of bright ones leading to the stereotype.

>Historian
>Falling for le good side vs le meanie side of History maymay
Sad.

Aight.

the best historians allways pick sides, are extremely biased and never anylase sources of any kind

The names are related in the same sense that Pakistan and Khazakstan is.
If it helps you it might be interesting to know that in swedish Russia=Ryssland (Land of the Rus) while Prussia=Preussen (The Preuss (?))

IIRC Italians would rather say 1400 rather than 15th century, so it's possible to make that mistake while speaking English.

Canada is best empire country now

am I the only one who fucking hates the modern Russian occupation of Prussia? Return Köenigsberg!!!

Come and get it we can repeat it all over again.

I would disagree, I would put Australia first, NZ second and Canada third. Canada is a beautiful nation and is a great country overall (waaaaaaay better than most nations) however Australia and NZ are imo better in terms of the political and social climate. Also I love the hot weather.

Russians coming in to save the day, liberating the miniscule Russian minority. If not for Russia's Nuclear capability, amazing central planning of Govt and great airforce then Russia would be screwed.

>If we just attacked them two months earlier
>If it wasnt for the snow
>If it wasnt for the shitty infrastructure and mud
>If it wasnt for the nukes
>and central planning
We could easily conquer Russia if it wasnt for Russians

Yea I'm just memeing Canada isn't that great. Most people throw out our healthcare system when talking about Canada comparatively but Australia's is vastly better. However I do disagree about political and social climate. We're the rowdiest we've ever been right now because of American politics and it's still nothing.

Why do you anglos insist on using the word guerrilla when you clearly cannot pronounce it and half your pop confuses it with an animal? Just say little war or something, your language is flexible.

>in high school, 10th grade I think
>take a quiz about pre-Columbian Mesoamerica
>teacher asks "Kyle, why the heck did you put 'Sparta' as the civilization that controlled Central Mexico?"
>"Yesterday in class you said it was some warlike culture."
>mfw

>>mother of kek hahahahahaah

They should, they have to rote learn the world map. Maybe he didn't know what country Mongolia was in Chinese, that's often their problem.

You're gonna tell me that Nanking is more important than Hitler? As in the whole dude? It would be fair if he had said "a chinese didn't know about the american civil war"? But fucking Hitler?

just inputting here, both are huge modern historical events and personally I believe both should be well known

Why can't objectivity be more valued ?

>nanjing
>done against dominant ethnicity in a country that is currently USA's enemy by armed forces of USA major regional ally in east asia
>holocoaster
>done against multiple ethnic groups but the only one that is remembered is overrepresented among america's cultural, financial, and political elite and their nation state is one of america's major regional allies in middle-east

No shit that few if any Americans care or remember Nanjing.

>friend thinks electricity was "invented"
>thinks the inventor was albert einstein

friend is pretty normie but also a massive fucking tripper prone to shit talking so i just let this one slide

why do you think they were called the viet KONG nigga?

kek

They say it for the years 1200-2000, indeed. But not for earlier years.

That's not what acid does at all

Wife's grandad, and its pretty hilarious since he's so skinny now, but looking at pictures he was definitely a corn fed country boy
I smoked a little dope in Afghanistan, but other than that we didn't really do shit other than a few guys that were juicing. I can't imagine doing anything anywhere near that hard before going on a patrol.
He never actually said what it was, he said he didn't know, and I've never done hallucinogens, so I wouldn't really know either. All he knows is that pink gorillas were dropping grenades on him, and he didn't care for it.

>7th grade geography
>teacher pulls down the entire map of the globe on the board
>girl raises hand
>wheres the other side of the world?

this
They'll think you onto them

>Class on Nazi Germany racial policy
>girl calls Nazis stupid for promoting Aryan aesthetics while Hitler had brown hair and eyes