You go to sleep and tomorrow you wake up in the year 1 ad, you can choose a geological point to wake up, you wont die of fucking parasites, you gont fucking die of disentery or any other illnes.
But you will die on your 80th birthday. What do you do Veeky Forums?
>Go to italica southern hispania
> Get a qt roman-iberian wife
>Get 7 kids, love 6 and get at least 2 to the legions
>Pic unreleated
>Basically anywhere in the Pacific
>Spend all day fishing and getting drunk on fermented coconut milk
>Marry a qt brown loli
All other answers are wrong.
>Go to Black Sea coast
>Get qt Grecian wife in Pontus
>Be inducted into the Dionysian Mysteries
>Jerusalem
>hang out with Jesus
>help him get off the cross when the Romans aren't looking
I belive by 1 ad jesus is dead user
Like he died in the year zero at the age of 33
I thought he died in 33AD? AD is "anno domine" or "year of our lord". Meaning 33AD would be the 33rd year after his birth?
>in Americas
>pass as a god
>tell every tribe to kill and destroy anything that approaches the shores
Just to laugh while thinking at the future of mankind.
Wikipedia says jesus was born the year 4 AC, so he died in 29 AD?
Jesus didn't actually exist. The only contemporary evidence of his existence was from Paul, who had never met him. The rest of the New Testament was written 100+ years later.
Well, a religion like christianity cant come from nowhere. I actually belive the figure of jesus was "created" after his death.... there was a guy who told people things, the jews got mad, the romans killed the guy and boom, the shit sparks from a shitty poor region like galilea to the roman empire and from there to the rest of the world
>Well, a religion like christianity cant come from nowhere.
It didn't, it came from Paul, who fabricated the character of Jesus because for various reasons it's a better idea to claim to know of a messiah than to claim to be one.
Consequently, to get rid of the report, Nero fastened the guilt and inflicted the most exquisite tortures on a class hated for their abominations, called Christians by the populace. Christus, from whom the name had its origin, suffered the extreme penalty during the reign of Tiberius at the hands of one of our procurators, Pontius Pilatus, and a most mischievous superstition, thus checked for the moment, again broke out not only in Judæa, the first source of the evil, but even in Rome, where all things hideous and shameful from every part of the world find their centre and become popular. Accordingly, an arrest was first made of all who pleaded guilty; then, upon their information, an immense multitude was convicted, not so much of the crime of firing the city, as of hatred against mankind. -Tacitus
Tacitus isn't an eye witness you retarded sack of shit. All that passage proves is that Christians existed and claimed their god was crucified.
>Tacitus
>reliable
>appear in greece
>learn koine
>tell everyone I'm a Inventor
>Actually invent things
>Make steam engine
>Invite the first Roman proconsul I cross to see what I did
>With charm +1 potion normally know as wine I make him invest in me
>Use ingenering powers I somehow make a steam tank for the Roman army
>Forthegloryofrome.amphora
>Theach them that carbon+sulphur+nitrate goes boom
>Cohorts stop using pilas and now they use boomsticks
>Force miself as legatus
>Actually get to be a legatus
>Go full retard against barbarians
>Actually cross the Rin
>Actually win
>Wine powers are strong
>Get to sarmacia
>Teach my legion that the black liquid in the swamp goes boom
>Use petroleum in steam tank to gotta go fast
>Go back to Rome
>Pimp senate's rides
>Get known as legatus ex machina
>Become friends with Augustus before he dies
>O shit is 27 AC
>Force miself as governor of Judea
>Actually become governor of Judea
>Save yisus
>Become friends with yisus
>Then go full retard against the phartians
>Somehow survive the horse archer spam
>Get to Susa
>The Parthians deserve it
>Get to Pura
>LOL Indians elephants lmao
>Legion is too tired
>Throw them home and get other legion
>Get to bactra
>Wine the bactrans into friends
>get to India
>Yisus gets illuminated
>Get to Nepal
>Yisus no
>Get to Tibet
>Yisus staph
>Get to China
>Überyisus is not pleased
>Chantra the shit out of them
>Get to Cipangu
>Lol kamikaze lmao
>Get back to Rome because I failed
>"How the crapula you got to China" says senator n* 12
>Wine powers and IESVS NAZARENVS REX IVDAERUM i respond
>I winned enough so they forgive me
>Get pure vesta gf
>Lai down in steam horse with vesta gf at sunset
>Get backstabbed by senator n* 12
>Life is good
AD didn't began when Jesus died, you dope, it began when he was born!
>no contemporary evidence
>he didn't exist
What the fuck did I just read?
There wasn't any contemporary evidence for Pontius Pilate either until the 1960's and he was the fucking roman prilate of Judaea.
>There wasn't any contemporary evidence for Pontius Pilate either until the 1960's
Yeah, but what about jeezus?
>contemporary evidence
Fuck off, Veeky Forumscuck
>at the height of the etruscan civilization
>live in the most sensuous, aesthetic, peace loving culture known
The obvious answer is find Jesus and walk up to him speaking English to see if he berates you [also in English] for time traveling.
Weird Pedo guy wont stay away from my baby jesus, call the centurions, he gets stoned for beign a weird acting crazy pervert.
...
I'd probably go to Judea and follow the apostles around.
But, my personal religion aside, I'd probably go to ancient China and pull a Marco Polo. My looks would probably make everyone curious enough to listen to what I have to say. I speak basic modern Mandarin which is probably fucking useless at that time, but even if it is, I'll just wave my arms around and draw a map. I'd show them Rome, America, Australia, etc.
As a tall blue eyed white man wearing pants, I'd probably just be enslaved on the spot by angry manlets in Rome. When will they learn?
>Back to the warring states era china
>Help Chu win
>Qin doesn't get to go 'cultural revolution' on unified china
>Thousands of years of ancient history saved
That or save the Library of Alexandria
Swagger up to Caesar himself and tell him that the Jews need to be eliminated because reasons
I won't die because OP said I won't until my 80th birthday so worst case I get thrown out and beaten a bit by the guards at the front gate
Best case the world is spared a large thorn in its side
Pacific islands weren't inhabited at the time. Or at least places like Hawaii, French polynesia etc weren't
The Philippines, Tahiti, Guam, Fiji, etc were all populated by then. Hawaii and Easter Island weren't populated until a couple hundred years later.