Weakest deaths in history?

He probably had a stroke though. He was already ancient at that time.

Michał Wisniowiecki
>was a polish king for 2 years or so
>elected because he was son of famous ruthenian magnate who converted to catholicism and tried his best to emulate polish culture while being brutal against cossacks
>his short rule saw a loss of huge ass fortress which protected entire border to turks for first time in history (one of ottoman rulers thought it was build by god due to how impressive it was)
>supposedly died by chocking on a fucking pickle
the loss against turks was so humiliating that we elected a good king for first time in last 100 years or so

pyrrhus got killed by some tile thrown by an angry mother

He also has a bakery chain named after him.

...

This guy was literaly Bismarck 2.0 and even had democratic (for the time) views. He would have kept Willy the autist down

Pompeii comes to mind.

>He hasn't started the chapter on fall 1941 yet

Its going to be a long rest of the book friend

> implying Willy did anything wrong

Alexander The Great
>Survive countless battles and and attempts on your life
>Survive being pierced through the ribcage by an arrow
>Die by a mosquito bite

Nero, having basically alienated and pissed off his entire realm, and was being chased down and hunted by his own henchmen, pulled a knife from his toga and uttered, "oh, but what an artist dies with me!" and killed himself.

This was the emperor who thought it was fun to round up all the aristocrats into the amphitheater and force them to listen to him play shitty music for hours on end. People would feign a stroke or heart attack trying to get out of it.

>get shot en masse
>get gassed en masse
>get worked to death
>starve to death
>drop dead from disease
>get used in insidious medical experiments
>sit on your ass and wait for the Allies to come or cower in hiding rather than fighting back
>farm boys from Missouri, Texas, among other places who had far less stake in this war than you did volunteered fight and die on your behalf in overwhelming numbers
>70 years later, descendants of survivors bitch about how the Goyim didn't do enough to save them when the overwhelming majority did next to nothing to help themselves

Call me cruel or cold-hearted, but the way the vast majority of Holocaust victims so meekly went to their deaths is just pathetic.

Didn't his notorious alcoholism exasperate his malaria?

>muh tile

Gee, it's like they were fucking civilians.

>be Barbarossa
>drown on the middle of the Crusades
>a big chunk of your army either converts to Islam or commits suicide
JUST

Really? You say all this shit and you post a picture of Warsaw, sight of the failed uprising. Resistance movements in almost all countries were filled wtih Jews and other 'undesirables'. Learn history or go back to your echo chamber

Warsaw was the exception. Even then, the uprising didn't start until after the Germans had already deported and killed over half of the population. In most cases, the SS liquidated the ghettos without any real resistance.

>Resistance movements in almost all countries were filled wtih Jews and other 'undesirables'.

And those Jews aren't the ones I'm talking about here.

>Gee, it's like they were fucking civilians.

When push comes to shove, even schoolgirls and housewives can be taught to use a rifle.

Hard to do when Hitler took all their guns years before the war....

>What's happening to me? I must get well again; I have so much to do!

His death was incredibly fitting and pathetic. Only formal execution would've been better.

>Balzac
Literally died from drinking too much coffee

Recorded for posterity so kids can laugh at him on youtube a hundred years later.

what is this?

youtube.com/watch?v=FBN3xfGrx_U

A parachute. It didn't work.
And it was already pointless because two days before his death one American made a successful jump off the Statue of Liberty with his parachute.

He died of cancer that spread though his throat and stopped him from eating

Left, to clarify

Pausanias was not Philip's butt boy.

he was his fuckboy.

Typical germanic behavior

>be king of England
>hated by everyone
>'sign' peace treaty that would later become part of one of the most important documents in medieval history
>'revoke' it three weeks later
>die of dysentery

...

He was too good for this world.

He was absolutely /ourguy/. A recognized leader of men who led men into battle, then visited injured French POWs after battle to wish them well

>Bismarck 2.0
No he wasn't. Bismarck didn't even like Frederick because he was literally a British puppet.

didn't his wife prevent him from drowning himself as he wanted to mystify his death?

John Lackland is basically cheating when it comes to historical clusterfucks..

>also die from collective damage from years of battle injuries
>muh fever

/thread