Retarded shit you used to believe as a kid thread?

>:)

I used to think that number symbols were specifically part of the English language.

That's what is heavily implied in French classrooms

I thought the Gulf War was fought against Mexico.

>told in school that newton "discovered gravity"
>watching Elizabeth Taylor Cleopatra movie on VHS with grandma
>ask why everyone isn't floating because gravity was disovered centuries later

I thought the past was black and white.

I had too much spare time and not enough books

>The swiss helped the Italians in WWI
>7 million Jews were killed
>The Serbs are the bad guys in the Croatian Indipendence War (it actually was only that cuck Miloševič)
>The nazis were evil incarnate
>The crew of the Bismarck BB were the evilest
>Crusades were well planned attacks
>The Hundred Years War lasted 100 years

too many rabbits in china

Children were produced through food somehow mixing up in the womb and creating organic life.
I know it's not Veeky Forums related but shit was dumb

> Hitler was so determined to see Germany rule supreme over the Anglos that he sacrificed the white race in an attempt to do so

Remind me again how he was the good guy?

I thought that because the UK had a queen that meant that she could just order anyone's head to he cut off like in Alice in Wonderland.

>WW2 began when Japan attacked China
>The Ottomans ruled Morocco
>The middle ages began around 1000 ad
>swords and other meelee weapons were used regularly until WW1
>The troyans and the persians were turks

My dad's from Jutland and like 50.
I thought he moved away when he was young to escape Hitler's persecution of Jutes.

Also I imagined him rolling barrel hoops around cobbled streets in a flat cap, vest and shorts.

i used to think that the ussr was communist, and not state capitalist

I thought Greek people still believed in Zeus and Greek Orthodox Church worshiped Greek gods

She can you know.

She just doesn't.

Fuck off leftypol

>Stalin was worse than Hitler

I wonder if Greece have Greek mythology LARPers like Sweden has guys like Varg.

Do you mean the arabic numerals?

Same but with Egypt instead of Greece.

Oh yeah
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hellenism_(religion)
I even know one.

>I wonder if Greece have Greek mythology LARPers
They do.
ysee.gr/index-eng.php?type=english&f=about

> like Sweden has guys like Varg.
Sweden haven't owned Norway since 1905. Varg isn't that old.

>>swords and other meelee weapons were used regularly until WW1
technically, yes
Arabs, at least, used swords during WW1

youtube.com/watch?v=aARaYjgm_rA

Bugs... easy on the nomadic invasions of china from the northern steppe...

Why? Wasn't France's army like, the best in the world in the 1930s?

>Hitler's persecution of the Jutes
Made me smile

>WW2 began when Japan attacked China
You could argue it did start the Pacific segment of it

I'd never seen a proper map with names, so I used to think Scotland was south of England, I think something they said in Braveheart might have influenced that, but I can't remember.
Then I got a look at this ancient globe of my grandfather's that clearly stated Scotland was above England. Still UK, not that old a globe.

I'm a Croat and I used to think that going to war with Serbs was basically a coming-of-age ritual that each generation goes through. Also, I thought that the first Command & Conquer was about Croats and Serbs and that the unit icons are photos of actual war veterans.

wat
I don't remember being told that. 's far as I can remember, the emphasis was more on a good chunk of our generals using completely outdated tactics, and more importantly, not implementing strong fortications in the Ardennes because "Ay lmao, no tanks can go through here"

>Englishmen were another term for people who lived in the US
>Canada is a territory of the USA when I was 5
>thought that Scandinavia was a nation on Northern Europe bordering Russia
>Egypt still had worshippers who believe in old Gods

>Scandinavia was part of Canada

>>Canada is a territory of the USA

That is actually pretty much true, nowadays Canadians are very much just yanks in denial.

I came here to post this. I had to ask my mother if things were black and white back in the day.

I have a lot:
>thought Greeks/Egyptians/Norse still worshiped their old pantheons
>thought Catholicism was totally separate from Christianity
>because of above two points I thought America and Canada were the only Christian nations in the world
>thought the same guy assassinated both Lincoln and Kennedy, didn't realize they were like 100 years apart
>thought sex was a guy peeing on a girl
>thought Japan and China were two states in the same country
>thought Vietnam was in South America
>thought Africa was the size of Texas and was located in the Caribbean
>thought that American was its own language
>thought Muslims were demon worshipers (technically not my fault, this was basically force fed to me by my church)
probably more but that's all I can think of

keep going friendo, pure gold!

>thought Catholicism was totally separate from Christianity

The sad thing is that plenty of adult Americans think this.

>Holocaust: Lampshades, soap, shrunken heads, literally 6 million died, most of the deaths were due to gassing and cremating

Can't remember anything else related to history off the top of my head

>literally 6 million died
This has always bothered me. An additional 5 million from other minoritites also perished but for some reason people on the net always seem to forget that bit.

That additional 5 million was made up by Simon Wiesenthal in the 1970s

I used to think that 'Europe' was part of 'The United Kingdom'.

... not really Veeky Forums related, but when I was in kindergarten I thought that girls has penises, they were just inside of them and popped out for sex. The tip of the (larger) girl penis would envelop the male penis and suck out the seed.

didn't really know that Canada was a nation until reading about the war of 1812

>swords and other meelee weapons were used regularly until WW1
I mean bayonets and bayonet chargers were a significant part of most military doctrines. It's not that far off in reality to think that

Wow, that's...that's something alright.

>Mexico and Canada are american states because they were labeled on a map of USA
>England, UK, and Great Britain mean the same thing and Scotland is a separate country
>native americans are a type of indians
>Korea is one country with a northern and southern region
>Greenland is the size of Africa
>language of mexico is called Mexican and americans speak American
>English is what chinese people speak

Isn't that the case for Hyenas?

Not really Veeky Forums, but you know how some teachers and parents tell you not to pull on tree branches and plant leaves because you'll put it in pain? Well I pretty much accepted that as a fact and not being someone who regularly does that I never gave it a second thought until one day in my twenties while staring at some plants I had an epiphany: plants don't have nervous systems at all, they don't feel shit.

lol. keep going bro

nothing comes to mind really.

That's fucking terrifying. Let me guess, you're a homo?

Nah. I am a pedo though.

Do you mean the indian numerals ?

I thought all black Africans live in mud huts.

>The Greeks invented democracy, but then the Romans came along and destroyed Greece, so then democracy was extinct from history until 1776 when the Founding Fathers revived the concept. Then America became so successful that every other nation wanted to be like America so they copied democracy from the United States until almost the entire world was democratic/republican except Russia, Germany, and China. Germany became a democracy after being conquered by the United States during WW2 and Russia became a democracy after losing the Cold War, leaving China as the world's sole non-democracy which hasn't been defeated by America yet.

I'm sure that there's peoples out there who have fetishism like this.

What led your friend to turn to hellenism?

...

Ofc, however they are known as arabic in the west.

That's a really swanky mud hut.

>That image

Real kicker is that the gears in this setup wouldn't turn at all.

before I ever studied a map of the world I (around 10-12) thought Vietnam was in America.

...

-I believed that Soviet Union was more advanced than the US because my parents have been collecting educational books in anticipation of having children several years before gommunism fell in Poland.
-Took me a while throughout the first class of elementary school to realise that dinosaurs have become extinct completely. No other historical epiphany has caused me as much butthurt as this one, for dinosaurs were cool beyond words.
-I thought that Julius Caesar was the one to conquer British Isles, because Asterix comics ruined my perception of antiquity.
-Knowing that the Sun will destroy the Earth in a few billion years made me think that it may as well happen soon within my lifetime just because it was possible to imagine it happening right now.

But possibly the most retarded misconception I had prior to entering educational system was that there was no time nor history within the timescale between Roman Empire and the 1950's.

>there was no time nor history within the timescale between Roman Empire and the 1950's
How young were you when you realised this wasn't correct? Speaking as a fellow european I'm having a really hard time grasping that you wouldn't have been aware of the middle ages.

>Anglos
>white

Nice revisionism

>thought sex was a guy peeing on a girl

Sometimes it is...

>English is what chinese people speak

How did you come to that conclusion?

>Richard Lionheart was English
>Templars were English
>The British Empire was a superpower in 1776
>Britain mattered in WW2

I blame TV

Mr professor may have been dogshit. He used Gamlin's quote explaining that France lost because of a lack of troops and equipment, the which happened most likely because of unfavorable oppinions after the WWI trauma
It's easier to justify defeat by saying "they were too strong, evil and ruthless" rather than admitting that "we fucked up".

Third grade of elementary school was the last moment for me to believe it.

Commie children books that I read just before that time were almost entirely concerned with then-contemporary times. Historical sites that were mentioned gave off the contextual impression that they are just something that "is" out there, like parks and tenements, albeit more characteristic.

In fact, not only commie books for children that I had been given suffered from this - more infamous case was the French "My first encyclopedia" that Larousse released in 1989 that elaborated on history only when antiquity and prehistory were concerned. Anything else was terribly limited - entire history between dark ages and WW2 was made into a single page, all of the world's religions were crammed into a sticky note-sized footnote which basically said "religion is poorman's attempt at describing the world; science has all the answers now, so move on with times, brainlet!", WW2 itself had been boiled down to similar footnote with "lol, Hitler!".
Strangely enough, that "encyclopedia" was mostly focused on anticipating future that will come any moment now and reshape the world beyond any and all imagination, culminating with panoramic, two-page wide vision meant to convey how singularity might look like.

Following third grade, however, I was provided with not only historical lessons, but also more complete materials which did well to bridge that horrendous gap.

TL;DR: I had some basics of modern sciences covered early at the expense of historical knowledge getting axed to the point of functional retardation.

The thing is, the idea that the founding fathers miraculously ressurected the idea of Democracy, thereby killing monarchism and abolishing serfdom forever, is something a lot of American kids are taught in school. I know was taught that way.

Its a relic of the Cold War, where kids are taught stuff like that America saved the world from Hitler singlehandedly.

>thought the same guy assassinated both Lincoln and Kennedy, didn't realize they were like 100 years apart
he can't keep getting away with it!

...

Say it with me

O B S E S S E D

Arabs and indians don't write the numbers like us tho, even if beyond aesthethics they're the same (and ours basically the deformed version of the arab ones)

I thought Prussia was just an antiquated way of spelling Russia and that the P was silent, like Czar

>thought Muslims were demon worshipers
>implying

This but without the orthodox church part, because wtf is orthodox christianity=catholicism

And this. I was unironically assblasted when I went to Egypt and it was full of fucking arabs AFTER going to Africa (actually Tunis) and find out there's no elephants or giraffes just sand and arabs. Eventually had a blast in both travels though, kids are kids.

I had to play half the age of mythology nordic campaign before coming up with the idea that norses and vikings are the same.

...

I've been to /d/ often enough to have seen this.

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How the fuck did you know about sex when you were young enough to be so naive? I used to think that girls had micro-penises in their vaginas too (saw my cousin's clit) when I was 5, but I didn't know what sex was.

I thought Prussia still existed, as that chunk of Russia above Poland where Kaliningrad is

Ironically what I thought was the opposite, that Canada was an actual nation with an actual unique culture, language and history (unknown to me since I was just a kid) instead of some copycat america that stopped being british when people that is still alive was born.

I thought that America was Mexico tho.

>I used to think that girls had micro-penises in their vaginas too
Do I have news for you. Find a picture of a vagina probed by a speculum, humans will never be the same for you.

I assumed Scotland was it's own island, not just the northern section of Britain. It seemed impossible to me that people could fight so hard over something not even bigger than New Jersey. I get it now, though.

I mean actual penises with testicles and all but you can only see the small tip (girls couldn't pee if the tip wasn't out).

>told in school that Newton INVENTED gravity

get on my level