Give the history of your country in twenty words or less

*buh dum dis

>ultraold Caucasians
>mountain dwellers
>farming
>more farming
>mini-imperalism
>black death
>fucking danes
>fucking swedes
>"lol oil"

>be peacful pagan tribes
>btfo raiding Germans
>subjugate slavs
>fucked by greatpowers
>rebel
>sold to soviets
>sing away to independance

England
Norway
Lithuania

Norway

Did the people in those lands resemble there today?

>C O L O N I Z E
>Accidently a few million natives
>No more redcoats
>Constitution
>Become superpower
>56%

>Various tribes
>Not!vikings
>United under one tribe
>Crusadin' and general messing with the rusky
>Dane'd
>Skeeing to freedom
>WE'S EMPIRE NOW
>Gang Bang'd
>Rusky'd, lose half the country. Take Norway as a consolation price.
>'Neutral' ever since.

>Ayo
>HOL UP
*builds pyramids*
Ah naw hol the FUCK up
*muh Arab spring, fuck Israel*

>Trigger vikangs

Didn't Ireland constantly fail at conquering Dublin?

He's probably talking about Brian Boru and the battle of Clontarf

>Poland
Czechia. Poland would include Swedes. Inb4

>fuck all
>Belgians show up
>fuck off
>be poor

There once was a nation full of aberrations until they faced extermination now we're here.

Canada

>Ooga booga barbarians
>Romans invade
>Romans leave
>slavs invade
>we 3 duchies now
>hungarians, turks and russians invade
>independennce
>gommunism
>social """"democracy"""

Grease

Romania

>create real Russia
>get #shrekt by Mongols
>muh military democracy
>muh FREEDOM of belief
>get cucked by own offspring from outskirts for the next 300 years

>BERBERBEBRBEBRBEBRBEBR
>Somehow became Rome's rival
>The absolute madman did it!
>We muslim now
>We ottoman now
>We french now
>We independant now
>*Unsheathe Arab Spring* Nothing personel Arab world

Tunisia

Obviously America.

>...
>ivans, swedes
>war, famine, and other fun
>ivan intensifies
>being ivan sucks
>be urself
>germany's bitch 100 years and counting

>alcohol
>also fuck you papists jan hus did nothing wrong
>btfo 5 crusades
>alcohol
>oh fuckfjf
>g*rmanics
>OHFUCKFFF
>THEY'RE TAKING OVER MY BORDER REGIONS...
>IT JUST KEEEPF;F; HAPPENING
>hey neat we're independent
>OFHFFuUC.;;K No;;T AG;AN FUCK YOU FRANCE BRITAIN YOU CUNTS
>a gud ebening do dhe bohemian beople dhank u for reelegting me t. benes
>tiem for some reforms
>german deporations
>a gud ebening to dhe czech beople, i coup now
>gommunism
>gommunism liberalizes
>get brezhnev's bbc
>fuckFF; WhYYJyy LeTUUS bE indepenDENT
>communism dieded
>fuck you havel you liberal cunt
>oh FUGJSA NOT THE EUU... AS G*RMANS

>Vikings
>Normans
>Anglos
>Famine
>Several thousand doomed uprisings
>Finally get independent
>Irrelevency

>become cunt
>big one
>build choo choo track
>do a racist
>do a racist school
>fight war
>wannabe french people cause issues
>let everyone in because we did a racis

shouldnt be hard

Québec :-DDDD

>ooga booga stone age
>gib blankets and muskets
>colonialism
>fucking japs
>20+ sheep per person
>6 sheep per person
>new china

>horsearchers
>christianity
>medieval power
>but turks
>tripartition
>habsburg get out reeeee
>dual monarchy
>dismantled
>chimpout
>gommunism
>freedom

>iberians and celts
>cartaginians, phoenicians and greeks
>roma
>more roma
>visigothic and germanic kingdoms
>moors
>other moors
>muh catholicism
>new world
>centuries of dominating superpower
>everything goes to shit
>shit
>/leftypol/ btfo
>jews

>ooga booga
>STICK BASED TECHNOLOGY
>ooga booga sticks, dirt burgers and huts made of poo
>several thousand years pass
>ooga booga sticks, dirt burgers and huts made of poo
>evil colonialists
>infrastructure

>we wuz Mongols n shiet
>we Chinese now
>fucking Japs
>fucking Mongols
>fucking Manchus
>fucking Japs
>fucking northerners
>fucking Americans
>fucking exploding phones
>nuclear launched detected

>windmills
>fuck off spain
>spicy! now we're rich
>england pls halp we're being invaded
>again

New Zealand?

sweden

You're from the Congo?

Ireland

Hungary

Spain

Litteraly everything underneath the Sahara

(south) Korea

>be pagan tribes
>conquered by Sweden
>become Lutheran
>gifted to Russia
>independence
>slap stalin
>EU

I see you a part of the Finnish Khanate

australia

>Squish a lot of countrys into one
>collapse
>Do it again
>get invaded
>Do it again
>Get invaded
>Do it again
>Get invaded

>Squish a lot of countrys into one
>collapse
>Do it again
>get invaded
>Do it again
>Get invaded
>Try to do it again
>Get invaded

>be kingdom
>no male heirs, get fucked
>muh defend christian europe for 50000000 years
>join yugoslavia
>leave yugoslavia
>dude tourism lmao

>everyone criminals
>desert
>get fugged in ww1
>get fugged not as hard in ww2
>things get relatively better
>gets worse

>it sucks here lets go west
>hahaha roman cucks
>splinter into groups
>one group becomes big
>that group becomes biggest
>muh konstantiniyye
>muh golden age and third rome
>fuck you magyars, egyptians and persians
>oh fug we can't get further :Dd
>oh fug the fucked are fucking us
>oh fuck our former territory wants to make us ther territory
>great general fucks former territory up
>we democracy now
>*populism ensues*
>we not so much democracy now

Hungary

You could have spared everything after mentioning Jan Hus, it was pure cringe.
Also that fucker DID deserve to die in the most gruesome way possible.

>hadrians wall
>vikangs
>independence wars
>eventually unify with another country
>be spearhead of the military
>some philosophy I guess
>be behind most modern inventions
>knife crime and buckfast
>nicola sturgeon

>Vikings
>Oldest flag
>Kill Sweden
>Killed By Sweden
>Norway our bitch
>Got Rich
>Got Poor
>Eternally BTFO
>Peaceful Social Democrats

>muh mountains
>muh oath
>muh autonomy
>muh gold
>muh neutrality
>muh banking
>muh watches

>pirates
>colonized
>the Dutch attack
>brits attack
>Get uncolonized with help from America
>nvm lol
>gain independence from america
>conquered by japs
>One guy becomes a famous boxer

>Romans invade
>Mix with them
>Germanics invade
>Mix with them
>Vikings invade
>Mix with them
>Travel across the world to crusade or colonize
>Mix with them
>Third world arrives
>Mix with them

>Cunt

Yep

Denmark?

Switzerland

Bong

>horse archers
>get civilized
>semi nomads
>friends with ottomans
>rich lands in middle of nothingness
>turks attack
>independance pls
>independance yesterday

Crimea?
They were the only other steppenigger friends of the ottoman empire.

Note "independance yesterday" and "turks attack"

user I really don't know also I think we attacked every neighbour atleast once besides hungarians, safavids and the crimeans used ot be all steppeniggers so is it one of those?

kurds

>pagan tribes
>unite into kingdom
>get Christianity
>civilised now
>split up into small kingdoms cause the government sucked
>irrelevant town rises and takes over everything
>we get a great leader but the west thinks he's terrible
>Swedes get fucked by us
>Turks get fucked by us
>Tatars get fucked by us
>Poland gets mega-fucked by us
>Get Alaska
>Some French goy kicks our butt
>he comes to our land and his army freezes to death.
>some officers stage a coup and we suppress it with cannons
>Turks get their ass kicked again
>and again
>and again
>but then bongs help them out and we lose
>sell alaska
>get a port from chinks
>Japs attack and steal it
>everyone hates leader now
>world war starts
>we lose
>commies kill leader
>starvation
>another world war
>nuclear bombs
>space
>cool life mostly
>some retard with a birthmark on his head destroys it all
>now mafia controls the country
>some mountain men kick our butts
>bald guy comes to power
>kicks their butts
>economy rising again
>America mad as hell now
>prevent Assad from being Mossaded

>come from nowhere
>assimilate previous tenants
>christianize
>muh hungarians
>muh austrians
>muh serbs
>muh nazis
>muh serbs 2: electric boogaloo
>independent

thats far more than 20 words

>muh utraquism
>muh defenestrations
>fuck you, Krauts
>fuck you, Hungarians
>Sudetenlands are ours
>Give back Silesia
>fuck communism

When were kurds horse nomads?
I thought kurds were mountainniggers.

hungary
probably spain but could be portugal too
netherlands
finland but could be estonia too
croatia
turkey
czech

>no clay
>gib clay
>gib clay
>gib clay
>GIB BACK CLAY
>SACRED CLAY
>The pope and the CIA stole muh fucking CLAY

>British invade
>colonial governor flees with the treasury money
>chase the British away all by ourselves
>hey we can fend off for ourselves, maybe we should be independent
>fight independence wars, free other two countries in the process
>muh federalism, muh provincial rights
>fight civil wars
>okey so we are federal, let's make a constitution
>british invest a lot of money
>wtf we are one of the richest countries in the world
>wtf I love Britain now
>#1 exporter of beef and wheat in the world
>muh european immigration
>muh granary of the world
>major creditor to the allies in WW1
>great depression
>let's trash 70 years of unbroken constitutional government, this military coup thing our neighbours are doing seems like fun
>britain-senpai is having a hard time in WW2, we should join the allies
>not so fast, here is another military coup!
>baka britain you sre on your own... also stop investing so much we are not your colony!
>muh economic independence
>nazis should have won, lets give them shelter for no reason at all
>another coup this is fun
>nah this election thing isn't working, too many strikes and unrest lets have another coup
>and another
>okay last try at democracy
>nope
>another coup, too much left wing terrorism
>helicopter time
>baka britain give us our islands
>wtf I hate britain now
>okey democracy this time for real
>where did all these denbts come from?
>wtf we are not rich anymore
>wtf what went wrong guise?

there are theories scythians could be kurdish ancestors

>20 words

Scohtlond.

Philippines
Aussie land

>be dutchy/kingdom
>boom, division
>unite again
>create a commonwealth
>fight all neigbours
>boom, partitions
>we gain independence
>boom, ww2
>communism
>communism """ends"""
>here we are

>conquered by pretty much everyone
>united.jpeg
>defense pact with germanic fuckboys
>decide to go at war with them cause muh TERRE IRREDENTI
>get only FUCKING ISTRIA
>vittoriamutilata.mp3
>commies start fucking around at some point
>good old pal of mine mussolini is gonna get rid of them
>trenoinorario.wmv
>WE
>WUZ
>ROMANZ

>we wuz aryans
>we wuz tribes
>we wuz foederati
>fuck rome
>get btfo
>sack rome
>look at me, we the rome now
>splits
>grows
>shrinks
>bleeds
>works
>works harder
>sacked by french hitler
>divided
>united
>what could go wrong?
>oh fuck
>OH FUCK
>could be worse

>Trenoinorario

Literally never

>oooooooold art
>barbarism
>ROMANES EUNT DOMUM
>barbarism
>thanks Hungary, fuck off
>FUCKING TURKS REEEEE
>fuck off Turkroaches
>implying you need to finish a world war without capitulating
>but fuck Hungary
>fucking COMMIES REEEEE

More than 20 I know

Ex-hre

its a meme you dip

>was 3 countries
>united by one guy with chinese help
>that guy collapsed
>we one again
>mongols came, but that's ok we sucked their dick and we're safe
>we're different and more Confucian
>Japan invades but fails completely
>we're so fucking backward now but don't even realize it
>Japan invades again, but this time they actually succeed
>Japan fell and we're sliced into half like some subway sandwitch
>porn is blocked

Any irrelevant shitty ex-yugo country ever

Sp*in

Nope. Bigger but just as relevant.

I love how you conveniently forgot the French
Does the wound still hurt?