> I got busted selling weed shortly after starting and am on felony probation until September.
You are gonna get so fucked up beyond repair if you get this IP theft on your record it is not even funny.
> I'm married
Not after the courts take everything you will ever own, from now until you are 65.
> I'm very good at my job. I'm the most senior person on my team and I've trained 4 people since starting, implemented new processes and improvements
You are deluding yourself. The only thing the company sees is you slacking of. Even a monkey that doesn't take on any responsibility and just sits at his desk to kill time and look productive is more strategic than you. You actually put in the semi-hard work, just to destroy it with your entitled fuck-ass attitude.
> my personality is very not work appropriate, so I have to mask/repress almost all of it, so I come off like some weirdo drone to these complacent fucks. I get it.
No they see right through you for the impossible team mate you are.
> they're in the process of outsourcing a portion of my job to India.
You are telling us you are good at a job that can be partly outsourced to India. Think about that when you estimate your job security, now and in the future.
> put me on a 45-day "performance improvement plan" for seemingly no reason.
The reason is they want to fire your underperforming entitled asshole ass.
> his shit is even wilder than mine and he's gotten no talking-to.
That's because he is more strategic than you. Also his father used to play golf with your manager. Life is unfair. Don't expect to be treated favorably, just because some good looking chad gets the royal.
> Looks to me like they're gearing up to fire me
Yes!
> cause because they're getting confident with these India people.
No, because you are a stupid cock sucker and they made a mistake hiring you. You also tried too hard in the first months/years, so seen as trend, u are not improving, but declining down to unprofitable
