ITT: We summarize ways we would've tried to win if we were Hitler

>Dunkirk
>ALL FORCES CHARGE
>ALL PLANES FLY
>Entire British army capitured
>Assassin puts a bullet in Churchill's head

War over

t. Kekistani partisan

>>Don't start shit with the USSR. Keep a large army on the front to dissuade Stalin from doing anything silly.

Then stalin embargos you and your whole army crumbles.

>>Focus on North Africa and the Middle East.
And lose because there's no way to get supplies there outside of very small amounts

>>Massive propaganda campaign against the US people. Do anything and everything to convince them that Nazism is the Ideology of Peace.
And Pearl harbour happens anyway.

>pepemaga Alt-Kikers aren’t Reddit

>don't do anything at all after Anchluss
>leave Jews alone
>try to maintain friendly relations with UK and France, telling them that nazism is the lesser evil and bolshevism is the real threat
>wait until Stalin attacks Poland
>defend Poland and fight against the bolsheviks with the support of Western Allies
>everyone sees me as a hero and people name their children after me
not that hard

This requires a complete personality change in Hitler. It kind of breaks the rules.

these are the kind of people you're bringing to this site with your bullshit you absolute reddit cancer

if I was Hitler, I'd certainly wouldn't be retarded enough to start a two front war (because it worked so well in WW1)

I think I might've misread your post. I read it as you shitting on Nationalism but I think we agree that Nationalism itself is inherently positive and Hitler forever tainted it

>can't read
Typical kekistani

I don't see how calling someone reddit brings in more reddit

>Hitler kills himself in 1934.
>Strasser takes over the Nazi party.
> Strasser and the KPD take over the government.
>Just as militaristic as Hitler, Austria and Sudetenland still annexed
> Fully ally with the Soviet Union instead of Italy due to similar Ideologies.
>West falls to combined might of Soviet Union and Nazi Germany.

don't play dumb with me /pol/eddit

Does mentioning reddit somehow flag all reddit users and force them to look at the thread it was mentioned in?

I skimmed it while looking over the thread and assumed it was some /leftypol/ bs. If you're still upset that I didn't analyze your post then I don't know what to tell you

>dude just focus on north africa/invade britain instead lmao
Why do people with a HoI-tier understanding of WW2 constantly say this?

Actually listen to Hjalmar Schacht instead of throwing him in Dachau

/thread

All other answers are wrong.

>implying hitler didnt win

he pulled off the greatest piece of performance art in known history and shot himself at the end of the act,flawless wictory

Did you read my post? I only slightly touched on Africa, and reduced attacks on the UK.

How about apologizing for calling me reddit?

>greatest piece of performance art in known history

Ok, I'm sorry for calling you reddit. I'll message the mods right away and get that reddit strike taken off of your account and for the next 48 hours I well follow you into every thread you visit to remind people that you are in fact not reddit.
Now please don't call me a keker anymore

Jokes on you I'm actually from reddit

The plan is stupid as shit. You're not going to roll over Turkey easily, especially since the Soviets are likely to send in troops; the MR pact delinated Soviet and German spheres of influence, and Turkey was definitely not in Germany's. The Soviets are going to see that as a massively aggressive move.

And a bombing offensive against Baku from Crimea is insane. It is some 1,400 kilometers from Sevastopol to Baku. distance.to/44.33956524809713,33.57421875000001/Baku

Very few German planes could make that distance, and none of their fighters could. You'd be dropping penny loads of bombs against unhampered fighter defenses, likely losing 10% of your bombers each mission to cause little damage, since you don't have real strategic bombers, only converted attack craft and CAS bombers.

Promising the Ukrainians statehood involves not stealing all their food, and if you do that, other parts of Europe are likely to go very hungry.

>Secure black sea by bombing the Soviet Navy and concentrating the Bulgarian and Romanian fleets there
That's hilarious. The Romanian navy of WW2 was all of 5 destroyers.

Oh god, this picture depressed me. Anyway...
Germany has shitty allies and economy, so :
>ally with romania so I'm not 100% dependant of the ussr for oil
>do not attack poland
>try to convince the allies communism is a threat
>support finland during the winter war
>attack the ussr with allies support
>win (hopefully)
>topple Stalin
>the Russian Empire is back, now with swatiskas
>fascism (or at least reactionnary ideology) will spread slowly but surely in Europe
>Britain isolated, try to influence the usa to activate War plan red
>do not ally Japan, do not declare war on the us

That being said I love American Cock.
Nothing better then sliding a rock hard Amerifat down my windpipe.

For the past 34 years of my life I have to say, Amerifat cock taste just like cheeseburgers.
I can say that because 25 year rule ;^)

Degenerates like you belong on a cross

>Strasser takes over the party

Good luck with that

>Winter war happens without an invasion of Poland

How can wehraboos have such a shitty understanding of Stalin? The man was the most risk-averse leader in office. Finland would never have happened, had the allies not been occupied with Germany.

why would you bomb the oilfields you plan on invading in short term?

Closer to:
>Himmler takes over the Nazi party
>Nazi mysticism takes center stage
>Things happen about the same, just at a quicker pace
>Nazi LARPers in the current year become even more cringey

>thinking you can stroll into the middle east with no problems and just take it over
>promise ukranians statehood
>don't steal all there food and send them to fucking france
>trying to stage a strategic bombing campaign in russia
>trying to rely on a non existent navy from bulgaria and romania
>not realising this plan all falls apart once america comes in to play

Any German victory involves Nazis not being Nazis
>Do not presecute Jews or at least Jewish physicists, keep them working in Germany
>When Barbarossa comes, listen to your generals, march straight towards Moscow, do not pass go, do not collect one hundred credits, do not divert Army Group Center to help in the capture of Kiev
>Do not mass-murder Slavs
>Set up a Tsarist puppet government in Russia to rally local support
>Focus on nuclear weapons research and aircraft research exclusively, forget other wunderwaffe
>Gain air superiority over Britain by 1943 thanks to the Messerschmitt Me 262
>Once the Soviet Union has been dealt with, invade Britain
>Demonstrate the Atömbombe on London, force a surrender
>Peace with America, Cold War ensues

>let Bandera actually do things instead of telling him to and then arresting him as soon as he tries
>don't assfuck Poland's railroad infrastructure by carting people across the entire continent to gas them
>stop giving my underlings contradictory directives so they compete for my favour
>stop investing in wunderwaffes other than shit we know now would work like the STG44 and jet engines, divert as much resources as possible to tried and true equipment like the Stug 3
>invade the Soviet Union around May 15th instead of June 22nd

I have ideas on how Germany could've came out on top during the era, but WW2 wouldn't go the same way ideally.

Purge Himmler and Goebbels immediately. Keep Goring around as a pet, but don't listen to him.

Maintain friendly relations with Italy, but don't formally enter into a binding alliance
Ditch Japan and back China again like the 20s, it will earn you diplomatic currency with the US
Realize Lebensraum ideology is retarded since the green revolution is only 10-20 years away
Ally with Poland, Finland, and Ukraine, promising to help them against Commie aggression
Stay out of the Balkans in General
Do everything in your power to disseminate anti commie propaganda to the world
Ship all commies and undesirable to France to destabilize the country
Create new Israel in Madagascar

Shore up intellegence network, try to prevent British spies from getting everywhere

Ditch battleships, focus kriegsmarine on building stealthy, long range submarines and hard to catch AA destroyers, eventually armed with rockets. Cut back on kriegsmarine drastically in any case, won't need it if the next phase goes as planed, divert resources to luftwaffe
Focus luftwaffe on interceptors and strategic bombers
Ditch the heavy tank, focus on speedy, low profile tank destroyers and assault guns with smaller crews. Put Guderian in charge of all armor development.

Fabricate a commie uprising in France, ask for international support to put it down.
This is what kicks off WW2 instead of the invasion of Poland. If everything goes right, perfidious Albion joins you in an effort to curb a possible commie France+USSR alliance.

Hopefully France devolves into a civil war, grab Alsace and Lorraine as a "peacekeeping action" while nobody is looking for political points at home.
USSR is going to be mad at you for getting involved in France, and they're probably invade Poland.

Meanwhile Italy fucks off into Africa and does some retarded, shit, who cares?
Japan does some dumb shit to America, America and UK become involved in the Pacific

Team up with Finland, Poland, and Ukraine and hold USSR off long enough for France to sort their shit out
Defend Eastern Europe long enough to bleed the ruskies, you have nationalism and better supply lines on your side
Counterattack and rape russia

No more communism
Japan gets BTFO the conventional way, no nukes since the US isn't war weary from Europe
No Israel in the middle east
Poland Finland and Ukraine love you
France stays weak and divided
Britian loses its empire after an exhausting war
US stays indifferent

>Nazi mysticism takes center stage
Alright one, that'd be pretty fucking metal. Two, then Ike's Great Crusade would become a literal one

>invade Russia
>but not Poland
nigga you ever seen a map?

>Use Ukranians as mass atlantic wall defence
>Use this to redeploy much of the Atlantic wall to the Eastern Front
this is pretty much what they actually fucking did.

...

>tell Stalin we'll invade Poland together
>day comes
>don't invade
Perfect plan

>Gain air superiority over Britain by 1943 thanks to the Messerschmitt Me 262
The 262 (while cool) was a piece of shit that wasn't worth the materials to build it.

I would do whatever I could to ally with the British of course. If there is no way to get the British to join me, I don't go to war. Making an enemy of the Anglo-Saxon people is a mistake that few live to regret.

>shore up the intelligence network
Good luck trying to fix the Abwehr

>direct the entire Gestapo and Abwehr to the singular goal of locating Anne Frank
>order her attic surrounded by a full panzer division until I arrive
>enter the house alone, hat in hand
>apologize and ask her to marry me
>she says yes
>suspend the holocaust, disband the camps, hold lavish wedding and honeymoon at the Eagle's Nest
>a few months later, telegram Stalin, Churchill and Roosevelt apologizing and requesting terms
>accept whatever they say
>squeeze Anne's hand gently while she stands over my shoulder, already heavy with our first mischling, as I sign the instrument of unconditional surrender

the Allies can do what they must, I've already won

t.

Pepto Bismol

Oh yes Nazi Germany and the pre-Barbarossa Soviet Union that couldn't even beat Finland, what a winning combo

>when you realize Adolf Hitler is a secret Hapsburg who is fulfilling Charles II's destiny of reuniting Europe under the combined Holy Roman and Spanish Empires

>don't annex the occupied territories and ethnically cleanse them
>set up friendly nationalist governments that give preference to german trade
just like in 1917, the war basically fights itself.

>another one of these fucking threads

Muh Degeneracy

Leave the Soviets to crumble under Stalinism, and convince the bolveshik opposition in German population/government that Stalin is no true Bolshevik and propogandize the way national socialism has improved German living standards in the great depression far better than Stalinism ever could. Go easier on homeland opposition in general. Be a strongman, sure, but don't suppress free speech or assembly to a point that public support, even among non-communists, is starting to doubt your righteousness. Regardless of any alleged and some real malicious Zionist conspiracies, or the very real malicious conspiracies orchestrated by round-table organizations or exclusive clubs in the anglo-american worlds of banking and business, keep the Jews and Anglophone world safe regardless of any denouncement by claiming your "deep concern" (Obama style, bitch) you may have about their actions/intentions.

Do the same things in the Rhineland, sudetenland, Austria; basically dismantle Versailles. At the same time, keep war at bay. Honor chamberlain's "peace in our time" Munich Accord paper, save it for toilet paper in the coming years. Keep the pact with the Russians and work with them and the Japanese to make a deal about splitting up Asiatic lands under western/Han Chinese imperial rule. Cont in next post.

Continued

Basically let Russia rot under Stalin, then its imperative to force some 1917 style regime change to bring about someone more amiable who promises to "end Stalin's terror, end the pointless blood feud between teuton and slav, and slav and Jap/tatar" and rebuild Russia with a more "nationally" focused socialism to achieve true success against the great depression before going "back" to spreading the gospel of international communism." Silent nationalist flavored coup in soviet empire. Nationalists in kremlin give more autonomy to their bazillion ethnic groups to try to improve perception of Russian dominance through diplomacy rather than mountains of corpses, the Germans apply this as well.

Forget the corridor for now and open up Poland to friendly diplomacy, use WWI as an example to Poland, Italy, Austria, Russia, yugos & Turks, and very importantly, Japan, that a strong continental army can only be starved out by lack of access to Asia, not because the British navy or Americans pitching in millions of doughboys when manpower is low, or even lack of access to north America. Manpower and resources must be drawn from Asiatic lands and a Eurasia United and Axis dominated, which very much includes Russia. Mass attacks on western imperial holdings in Eurasia are key to success. Japs and vodka do this. English/french/dutch/US colonial troopers are elite and used to policing large armies, but not prepared for a combined arms offensive from two modernized Pacific empires. Basically cloak and handshake (occasional silent use of dagger) to basically paradoxically unite Eurasia through massive nationalist fervor. (Continued in next post)

(Cont)

"Only together can we each have our autonomy and equality" (typical Soviet doctrine, make a federation of "independent" nations with aligned interests of national identity and equality) but this time make it more viable through a balkanized (but autonomous) China, a partitioned (but autonomous) India, and a trilaterally funded attempt at a new, autobhan grade silk-road through dozens or hundreds of trucking routes, railways, sea routes once secured, and eventually integrated aviation .A project exponentially larger than the Panama canal, but with an exponentially greater amount of cargo moving non-stop. An integrated trade network too expansive and too varied to be strategically bombed. Obviously, the attack against the Asian colonies begins the war. Everyone on the planet has something to lose or gain from an axis controlled Eurasian union. France and low countries/nords are blitzkrieg fodder, Dunkirk is never shown mercy. Stranded, shelled, and assaulted into surrendering. (Cont.)

1.Charge Dunkirk
2.Remove Goering, put some actual Air General in charge of the Luftwaffe, stick to the plan of destroying the RAF, airfields, radar stations and war industries primary targets.
3. Invade once the RAF is destroyed
4. Have Spain and Vichy France cooperate in kicking out the Brits of the Med and the Middle East.
4. Don't start shit with the Ruskis.

>During March, Me 262 fighter units were able, for the first time, to mount large-scale attacks on Allied bomber formations. On 18 March 1945, 37 Me 262s of JG 7 intercepted a force of 1,221 bombers and 632 escorting fighters. They shot down 12 bombers and one fighter for the loss of three Me 262s. Although a 4:1 ratio was exactly what the Luftwaffe would have needed to make an impact on the war, the absolute scale of their success was minor, as it represented only 1% of the attacking force.

>4:1 ratio
>shit

>dont be a nazi
>dont be a kike killer
>dont spend all your money on war
>try to rebuild relationship with the fr*nch
>prostitute yourself to the american and brits so we could have moneyz
>engage nicely with the poles and czech about german majority clay
>entice ostrichreich on joining up with us

basically very naive and optimistic,but whats the harm in that,i'll probably just get an assassin bullet before i see what my action does if it fails

I don't understand : who's at war with the uk ? Why do they lose their empire ? Same question for Italy ? And how is your plan for the ussr different from Barbarossa ?
Do you think the us cared about China ?
And why do you purge Goebbels ?

>Focus on nuclear weapons research and aircraft research exclusively, forget other wunderwaffe

>Realize Lebensraum ideology is retarded since the green revolution is only 10-20 years away

It's kinda unfair when you use modern day knowledge that Hitler couldn't have possibly known

History happened the way it happened. It cannot happened differently, so alternate history is retarded anyway, and is always based on modern knowledge. But that's fun.

>dont invade pooland
>embargo them
>pay them money in return for land
>annex austria
>annex sudetenland
>annex schleswig-holstein
>when belgium and netherlands are decolonized annex them and give wallonia to france.
>pay france to get half of alsace lorraine.
>its now 1970
>make european union
>invade russia and commit the actual holocaust
>everyone support you but the anglos
>its now 2000
>america is still 85% white
>europe is still 99% white
>middle east has minor conflicts but are resolved with european peacekeeping forces
>africa has less deaths because no foreign aid
>asia is extremely weak and in constant war

Invade Soviet Union from the east through Siberia instead

Now calculate how much those 37 Me 262s cost compared to the 12 bombers and single fighter they shot down

Whatever the cost it's offset by gaining air superiority and stopping strategic bombings against German industry.

People who think that if Hitler had a stroke and suddenly became a good guy pacifist in 1939 or that if he was assassinated or died suddenly the party would have changed direction, are completely deluded.

Let's say Hitler slips in the shower and dies in 1932, even where someone like Strasser, Goebbels and Rohm were to wrestle power from the right wing Himmler , Rudolf Hess and Goering side of the party, they would have have just spelt their own doom as at the time both German big business, politicians like Hindenburg's camarilla and the military were deathly afraid that the Nazis were in fact bolshevists wearing the disguise of nationalism. A complete 360 degree in economics from someone like Strasser would have incurred a night of the long knives at an even bigger level and would have destroyed party.

>Use Ukranians as mass atlantic wall defence
That's literally what they did, didn't it work out well?

You are flat out wrong. Without Hitler, NSDAP would have never risen to power.
Great men change the course of history

...

The only way the Nazis could have won is if they didn't gear their entire economy to be focused on a war in the east.

What else could they do ? Focus their industry on toaster production and wait for the Soviets to attack ? (the nazis were sure that the Soviets were a mortal threat)

>who's at war with the uk?
Commie France and the USSR.
In this autistic scenario, France has a commie civil war
>Why do they lose their empire ? Same question for Italy ?
Same reason they lost it irl, economic downturn and American pressure
I never said Italy would lose their "empire", in fact I wouldn't care what Italy does at all as long as they mind their own damn business.
>And how is your plan for the ussr different from Barbarossa ?
Germany will be on the defensive with Poland as an ally instead of rushing to capture Moscow and Stalingrad ASAP. The Soviets will be at the very edge of their supply lines and Germany/Poland can hold them back long enough for the civil war in France to end.
>Do you think the us cared about China?
Because their policy at the time was to back China against Japan, they sent aid to China during the war irl. Japan was US #1 threat at the time.
>And why do you purge Goebbels?
You're actually right, it's probably better to keep him around since he was actually good at propaganda, just have him ramp up commie-hate instead of jew-hate

>Realize Lebensraum ideology is retarded since the green revolution is only 10-20 years away
>It's kinda unfair when you use modern day knowledge that Hitler couldn't have possibly known

Yeah I'm just dumping ideas. Lebensraum was't that huge a deal as Hitler made it out to be anyway even without foreknowledge of the green revolution.

Except they couldn’t charge because they fucking exhausted from BTFOing the french/anglos that fought before the beach

Fuck off, imposter, you are pathetic

That being said I love being an imposter.

I heavily lap as a Dominican, but I'm actually a 34 year old swed who lives in my mother's basement.

Woowee, I sure feels good to be a namefag.

Hahahhah, you are funny
I'm actually 25 :(

I wonder, are you BN?

>ask western liberal democracies if they'd like to take in all the jews from Germany
>when they refuse holocaust them all and have the moral high ground after the war begins

is this shit real

Veeky Forums rushing to find theater of the absurd altnerative realities faster than all the "Morty and Rick" Quantum Computer re-search-er automatic probes combined......

Or.... to put it another way... how strange do you think the conspiracies really are..... perhaps even stranger than they knew?

>music and art stagnating because of degeneracy

Actually yes, we can say this because the Italians rejected the idea of degenerate art due to the influence of Martinetti and the Futurists. The Italian art scene remained pretty interesting thanks to him and Mussolini's laissez-faire approach while German art, which had been vibrant under the Kaiserreich and Weimar, became limited to what the administration felt was acceptable (censored).

Regarding German women under the Nazi's, they were very much turned into traditional style hausfraus to minimize the perceived social unrest of women's movements (the suffragists in Britain during the early 1900s had basically conducted a low-level terror campaign for example) and to raise the birthrate.

None of this is likely to have had a long-term genetic impact, but the Nazis did leave their mark in political attitudes towards women in Germany.

on the right of the pic I thought that was CIA's ass