Looking at listings of literally ANY decent job

Bro you'll get fired as soon as they find out. My dad worked for a fortune 500 company and had to fire a high preforming manager after they found out he lied about his education. I'm rooting for you but ffs get that delt with.

This. I have a degree and can't get shit because everyone else lies to make themselves look better than me. Gonna start lying on my resume soon and see where that gets me.

But I was sweating bullets for a week waiting for the background check to go through. They requested my school's department and shit. Thought for sure I was fucked.

I could get another job tomorrow. Lots of IT work in NYC. I get hit up on linked in daily

what type of stuff do they lie about? their experience? their gpa? I'm about to get my bachelors and I have a C lol.

>You said degrees were a meme and you can put "Bachelors of Science, University of Google/YouTube™, 2008-2011" on your resume
>/pol/ told me you can put "Masters in Engineering - The School of Life, 2011 - 2013" as your education

When people said that, they meant for you to make up a believable lie, you dumb fucking cunt. No wonder you're failing.

The key is to always preyend to have a degree that has nothing to do with the job, so that nobody will be able to verify that you don't know much about the subject. Which is why you don't choose engineering, law or medicine. Always some liberal arts bullshit, because it's better than nothing.

And then you go the extra step of paying $100 for an authentic looking diploma.

As for work experience, if you don't have any, you list prior work experience in a business that is now bankrupt. In order to get a reference from that job you make a friend, sibling or parent act like it. You give them a prepaid phone and the information they need to know, and a heads up when they should expect a call.

You can blame Veeky Forums and /pol/ for a lot of things, but not for you being a complete god damn retard.

Tell me how to get your job pls

Self study. Build a home lab. Learn AWS and digital ocean. Learn Linux. MS domain/AD infrastructure. Networking protocol and architecture. It's fuckin easy m8

Have you cucks on here never thought of just lieing and saying you have a degree?

I got my first job in marketing by just lieing about my education and previous work experience.

>Said I went to a University close to my hometown so it was little more believable
> Said I ran my own marketing company for a while but wanted to learn more of the trade from professionals who have been in it
>Show them a website I had a friend build and make look nice, show them an instagram profile I bought with shitty motivational posts and followers
>Make up further fake experience on resume and give them my friends cell phone numbers
>Get job making $63k and they put me through their companies training program as is policy (got paid more because of past experience lul)

Seriously, it's so fucking easy. Granted it was probably the 5th or 6th company I interviewed with who gave me the job, but thats not bad for someone without a degree.

And if my boss found out now I wouldn't really care because I plan on leaving in another 3 months to actually start my own marketing company.

>Tfw they gave me $63k + 401k match + bonuses my first year and trained me step by step with their marketing program
>Tfw I use connections I made their to guarantee customers when I start

-Fake it till you make it
-Persistence will always triumph talent

I only use Gnu/Linux every day for last two years now. I still know fuckall.

I use Arch Linux and just look up how to do shit in wiki or forums, I never learn anything.

BUT THE NORMIES ALWAYS SAY LYING GETS YOU NOWHWRE

REEEEEE

This is fucking genius

Please guys tell me (and others, the countless people in my position on here), more. Please.

You have all the information you need.

>Pretend you have a degree you don't
>Make sure to have plausible deniability, so you don't get a job in a field where knowledge from your fake education might be expected
>Buy a fake diploma
>Pretend to have job experience from business that has gone bankrupt
>Get family/friends to act as your former boss
>Make sure to have plausible deniability here as well. You don't want the new job to expect you to know things you learned from the fake job

It's piss fucking easy. Most people without a uni diploma does it, unless they have shit for brains. Which is why the job market is so oversaturated to begin with.

How about saying I worked in a field(fake one I never worked in) then saying I want a career change?

Fuck I never thought about this. Honestly though ill probably eventually go back and get a degree though. Ive always wanted to just to know I could do it.

>How about saying I worked in a field(fake one I never worked in) then saying I want a career change?

Yes, that's what you do. But make sure it isn't specialized. You want it to be semi-interesting, like managing a team of 5 persons in a call center, warehouse, etc. Remember that you'll also have to tell convincing lies during the interview in regards to that position, so make it something simple but interesting. Don't pretend to be a former engineer, electrician or IT person if you weren't. Because when the time comes in your new job, they'll need someone with electrical or IT experience to fullfil a task, and you won't have a clue as for what to do.

And when you've been there for 3-5 years, you start searching for other jobs. In your next job there's no need to lie about former job experience, and maybe not education either.

>"Bachelors of Science, University of Google/YouTube™, 2008-2011"
>"Masters in Engineering - The School of Life, 2011 - 2013"
Hahahahaha dumb frogposter

Im 27 depressed as fuq, family fkd me, is also greedy and trying to put me on street after inheritance, living low working at pizza shop and studying social work
How you do it?
btw what you studying?

FUCK MAN

Is it really that simple? Truly? I need to develop a pair of balls and do it....

Yes, just use your head so you don't get caught.

>became a wagecuck
>life sucks
No DUH! Thats why you should be a NEET. Get your lazy ass out to the welfare depot after researching up your mental disorder If you're in the US you get some nice Social Security Disability Income.

Also all those friends with the "dream jobs" secretly want to kill themselves every day. I know, I worked in an office. 70% were suicidal, 20% were resigned, 10% were too stupid to see that they were working their asses off for nothing at all. Think about it like this... if everyone likes there job, then why do the bosses always push the "be cheerful" line?

>tfw family friend gave me a job at 18
>had wagecuck job for 5 years, saved every penny
>5 months ago, get fired
>put every penny saved into bitcoin
>retired at 23

Im the comfiest neet you will ever meet

Cool story, bro

Fuck it ill do it.

>Got a master's degree
>See this thread

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

Looks like the system wins again!

I live in a "literally where?" small city and there is only a couple tech places to work, I've worked at them and gotten fired for only being able to maintain 93% csat metric despite my other metrics being excellent. So I've been a neet for a a few years. Can't get anything in nearby big city because everything requires a degree. I wouldn't even really need to fake knowledge about Linux because I already know tons about it, but it doesn't matter when everything requires a degree. Very few tech related jobs come up in this small city, but recently saw one that's part time minimum wage break fix computer repair, but it requires a bunch of certifications and also a computer science degree, like a CS degree is even relevant to that.
I know that you guys get very lucky by lying but I know that there are companies, like Equifax in only one example but there are more, that do sell reports to employers who want to purchase background checks that will prove your employment history and education history, and you don't know whether the company will pay for a service like this.
I would like to be able to earn some money I can use to trade with.

Go to school man. I'm enjoying it so far. It's quite a different perspective when you're older. You are just so much better equipped to care and do things right.

Psychology into getting a Master's in Counseling. That's the plan for now.

I work about 23 hours a week in retail, live in a cheap run-down apartment, have no social life, and don't buy toys. School is like the best thing going for me right now, so I'm enthusiastic about it.

Computer repair...? Part time minimum wage?

I really really doubt they'll find ANYONE with a degree or multiple certs doing that job. Unless it's some guy there for two weeks before leaving. I know im OP and seeking advice but I think this is one of those cases where they added that shit as a joke.

Fucking this. I study Computer Engineering but I didn't gave flying fuck about school or GPA. I said to myself If code well do my job well it won't matter. And It didn't actually I got really good jobs. Only thing is some one with degree gets salty about station.

OP you can do lots of cool things without degree nowadays. You know the concept of school will melt in the future by the effect of Internet. Information is out there you can learn anything If you want.

Nice integer. I know it's surprising that there are people that actually do that but it seems they do after all this little city only has very few tech related job posts per month, and there are only a few tech related companies here. For example last interview I was at the interviewer was talking about how this is such a small city that word easily gets around.

One more thing. The first few times you should only apply to smaller companies without an HR department. Just till you get used to the lying.

If a small 3-man operation calls you out on something, you'll know to perfect it before you go for the big fish.

Consider it training before going up against HR departments who specializes in catching people like that.

Thanks man. Honestly I might just lie about an associates + some experience. That way it's quite believable and yet decently beneficial.

Eventually I will get an actual bachelor's degree though.

this

Thats what you get for trusting people here with life advice, you should of known if you want to move out of your parents house or get good pay you will need skills and you will need to go to UNI. Its not the 80s anymore where you can make a living with a blue collar job

for people who actually don't realise this being the truth, a word of caution . People here are mainly toxic and talking unfathomable amounts of shit delivered in pseudo intellectual form. arguing something doesn't make it true,only facts make things true and I rarely read facts on biz. go to uni and work hard kids. this will get you a job. this is a fact ..education isn't a meme