Retention

Bob wouldn't of needed the extra $2000 if he could get drunk with his coworkers and motorboat stripper tits every Friday for free, a happy worker is a productive worker.

Totally understand that, even if we offer a paycheck above the medium in the city, it's totally normal for a person to seek more money. It's just that many of them (about 70% of the leavers) are going to jobs that pay less in the same city, a colleague of mine has seen 1 person that left us working at a news stand (a fucking news stand, what in the hell would drive that person to quit an IT job to work at a news stand),

If someone wants more money they're not gonna stay for the drinks on friday lmao

Wow, you DO have problems with retention. You hit the nail on the head though. What does your company put it's employees through that would inspire a person to quit an IT job to work at a news stand. Answer that, and you'll fix your problem.

I'll take a job though, or at least a one time pay out for fixing your company.

unironically the answer might be to fire the manager

Management all boomers? Or just a bunch of huge fags? I kept all of my employees at a place that paid below average and had horrible benefits that got worse every year. It's easy, Fire the shitty boss that everyone is quitting because of and promote the best employee into that position.

Tip - Almost everyone leaves because of a shitbag boss not money. I took a 25% paycut and left because I got a new boss who was a total douche. Took me one year at the new place to make 20% more than I was before.

Thank you for the offer, but sadly I have to say no :)

This shit is because of the former boss which was in charge for about 8 years and he was a little communist, now we are trying to re-image the company. I'm going for puting some money on facebook advertising with pictures of happy fridays (if they get approved) and meetings each monday with the teams in which we discuss how each person enjoyed their weekend (so we don't go full work at the start of every monday).

Can't you just hang the whole miss-management of the company on that one guy and leave it at that?

sadly not my choice to make, I'm just a little team leader. If it was up to me, I would fire 50% of management.

no, there are still left overs who think the same as he did :(

fire them, duh

Offer employees flex-time and / or telecommute options.

Do a Myers-Briggs test to find out employee personalities. Some people are more reserved than others. Not everyone wants to be the outgoing life of the party and participate in constant "team" activities.

Realize the value of employees with product specific knowledge and reward those who put in more effort. Nothing worst than morale that is destroyed.

Get rid of worthless meetings that last 45 minutes to an hour discussing nonsense.

Get rid of the manager vs employee mentality. Happy employees will be more productive and take more of an interest in the company.

Just my opinion from what I've seen over the years.

can't, I'm just a shit TL, I don't have any authority

this is a good advice. Thank you sir/madame!

>meetings each monday with the teams in which we discuss how each person enjoyed their weekend
I would quit if my workplace did this.

...

I know a company that has this really cool thing where every month they pick an employee of the month and pay his utility bills that month. It's not a lot of money for the company but it makes that employee really happy.

How about replacing the braindead managers who ask random people with no knowledge of their company or its internal practices for advice on how to run their company.

Thank you for the feedback. How about, instead of what we enjoyed in the weekends, we talk about random stuff (e.g. James Webb Space Telescope)

pay them, that will do more for your company than anything you can come up with.

>more fun and happy environment
give them more money, they don't give a fuck about anything else

Holy shit, I would totally love to work for a company like that.

The leading cause of many leavers / low retention is shitty management.

If too many people failed upwards the subordinates have a shitty time and leave.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_principle

So present them a plan to fire them and replace them with competent and pleasant managers.

These are the answers you seek.

There is nothing more shitty than for an employee who is underpaid, not given any raises or financial incentives to have to come to work to participate in forced morale building activities.

Want the ultimate morale booster? Pay employees a fair wage to do their job and let them have the time to focus on their job without meaningless distractions.

I'm sorry, but as I stated before, many of them leave for jobs that pay less, I doubt the pay is the biggest issue.

Literally do not do any sort of group talking thats absolutely the worst idea you could ever have, if anything let people (a certain few every week) come in an hour late on mondays or something like that.

Monday meetings where you share your weekend / good news.... fuck you just triggered me, my work does this and it is the worst shit ever!

Things at my work / team that actually is a benefit;
- a good coffee machine.
- relaxed lunch hours, no set time and no clock watching (within reason).
- 2 hours of free drinks/beer on Fridays
- monthly lunch paid by work where they order something for the entire team.

most people in IT that i know of leave places due to work life balance and pay, they either expect you to work 24/7 (on call) or don't pay as much as somewhere else.. but if you have a cock micromanager in the mix no amount of free shit or friendly monday meetings will slow the tide.

So much feedback on the Monday mornings meetings (seriously thinking of dropping them from the proposal).

Regarding your suggestions.
1. We had one, got destroyed in literally 3 days, we are now using just automated coffee machines.

2. I am already doing that with my teams (people seem happy with this), but It's hard to implement it company wide since there are contracts with customers in which some teams have to answer the phone within 10 seconds.

3. It's hard to make it every Friday (big costs), I wanted to suggest pizza+drinks/beer on the last Friday of each month.

4. Same I said on point 3, sadly to implement this the costs will be to big :(

From my experience:

A boss that frees up time every now and then to discuss things with you
A boss which appreciates your input
A boss who is open to questions
A sense of fairness with respect to everyones contributions and rewards, to and from the company.

Simple, people who have family / kids, are looking for good pay mostly. People who don't have family, prefer free time over pay. As long as your company bureaucracy is kept low, the people working there aren't toxic and the product isn't retarded this is really all you need.

Recommend that they be fired for a harmonious work culture. Get a thesaurus, use big words. The faster your boss's eyes roll, the more likely he'll do as you say.

SYNERGY!?!?!

Maybe your HR department or general working atmosphere is completely pozzed
Which is to say, aggressively leftist

Me too

This line of thinking is best
Perhaps let people take 15 minutes off their lunch break which can accumulate to let them have a day off every month
Mental health matters

Why are managers always fucking retarded? People don't like working. If they could murder you and everyone in the office and absorb their wealth without repurcussions they would. They are only there for money.

Sorry, but I don't approve with this concept. I'm not a manager and I like working, it builds character and (at least in my case) makes you feel good when you finish a task.

Management, ladies and gentlemen.

You sound like a brown-nosing faggot trying to climb the corporate ladder.

Right... so why not work for yourself instead of making someone else rich?

Nice bait, but I won't take it. This how I have been since my first job. I take pride in geting a job well done.

>Doesn't take the bait
>Responds

instead of having a meeting to discuss weekends how about u give people an extra one hour off in the mornings, paid of course so they can sleep longer and enjoy mondays a bit more, think about it

How about and this is something that most companirs dont do leave your employees the fuck alone. Dont micromanage them dobt walk past them to see if they are working or not. If they know what they are doing theyll get the job done and right.

Probably a woman tbqh fampai

Performance reviews every 6 months with possibility of a raise for all employees.

Holy shit, kek! Maybe your company has more serious issues than salary then.

This has to be a joke, right? Femanon?

I wish it was, but sadly this is a big issue.

this

Just fire whoever is in position of power and an ass.

Guaranteed to work.

Can bump the pay a bit too.

>pay me non-dogshit wages
>don't micromanage me
>be flexible in scheduling

That has kept me working at a call center job for the past 2 years. I hate the actual job but it pays well, my managers don't give a fuck if I'm on netflix when it's slow or something as long as I do my work when people call in, and they adapt to everyone's schedule very nicely.

Pay them more. Everyone is hiring now, therefore demand for work is up, therefore wages go up. Same thing is happening in my company, everyone is leaving and I'm getting unsolicited job offers too. Only a matter of time before everyone leaves. You can probably afford to pay more for some of your employees. Just let go of the dumb asses. This is how you make money, not with dumb motivational bs.

Holy shit this. It's fucking absurd how short sighted and prideful these people are. Truth is, if the managers gave everyone the correct wage, there would be nothing left for their own overinflated unjustified salaries.

only if the performance reviews are explicitly for a raise

performance reviews for the most part are just stupid as fuck

Nobody likes their colleagues. Spending 8 hours a day together does that to people.
> a happy slave doesn't need to be paid :^)
Disgusting desu

Yeah no I ain't gonna talk about my weekend of finanvial speculation and vidya. That is a bitch move. I'm at work because I want to work, not to have my personal life intruded. I won't quit though, I'll just make a mockery of your idea and make you cry. Is that really what you want, user?

>Monday meeting
Already sounds bad
>each person enjoyed their weekend
WTF!!!! How on earth did you think that is a good idea????

I've studied a bit of organizational behavioural management, which is exactly what you need. First thing to realize is that a pay raise only increases productivity/happiness for about 3 months. Pay raises are not going to work here, you seem to already realize that. However, what you don't seem to know is what to replace that with. Here's a list for ya:
>Ask the employees
Ask the employees what kinds of benefits/changes they would like. If you have quaterly/annual performance reviews, do it there. Then actually make the changes, and ask again how the changes worked and what the employees would prefer.
>Flexible work hours
Especially helpful to families. Dont evaluate employees based on whether they show up on time to work or not, unless its critical.
>Free snacks, coffee, food
Humans are animals, treat them like the cattle they are. If you haven't raised cattle, you dont know what I mean. Cattle are happy as long as you give them food, water, and some loving pets. mentioning which...
>Say "Thank You" "Good Job!" "Excellent work."
Thanking employees for a job well done has been scientifically demonstrated to be more effective than a pay raise. Of course if your pay isn't competitive, it will be a problem, but that isnt the case in your situation.

I can provide a much more detailed analysis of your firm if you wish, I do this work professionally as an independent business consultant. You can always read books for yourself, though!

>Can any of you give some thoughts on how to keep employees from leaving
>constantly sniff the office for betrayal
>once you smell a weasel, summon them to your office
>they open their stupid fat mouth "I want to qui-"
>"OY VEY. WHAT ARE YOU, AN ANTI-SEMITE?!"
>"No, I-"
>"GET BACK TO WORK TO ATONE FOR THE 6 BILLION"
>they shabbily waddle to the door
>as a parting note, I say "By the way your salary has been halves, and your unpaid overtime increased"
>"Y-yes m-m-master..."

Unironically this. You just gotta say it like it is.

Why delay the inevitable? We're here to work. How does starting an hour later change anything, other than decreasing productivity?

Actual non college kid wagelord here. People leave because of unpaid overtime and shit compensation. People will tolerate a shit boss if they know what time they are going home. Kiddy shit like pizza day is pathetic and insulting.

In my company a manager made his whole department leave (about 5 people). Of course he won't be fired. Of course the company will fail. Of course I'm leaving asap.

maybe that guy decided IT just wasn't for him and found a new lease on life. Wanted to be a news stand guy and work with the public.

People leave jobs that are high in stress and low in employee recognition for dedication and achievement. Additionally, when you mandate overtime, people tend to get pissed. Even more so if you do that consistently.

>chapter 3
>lots of pressure put on Joe, who is still new and is poorly trained
>Joe decides to just leave because fuck that
>Company is now super short staffed and are desperate to hire somebody immediately
>First or second interviewee is hired, and the new guy now faces a huge backlog of work, everybody being pissed at the department, and no trainers
>repeat cycle every few months

free food.

Old job and current job regularly provide free meals. You'd be amazed how well it works. People with actual skill (trade/technician/licensed) won't care because they already know their value, but your average wage slaves see this as a budget deduction ie "i only need to buy 4 lunches this week instead of five".

pay them more and they won't leave you fucking numbskull. management is so fucking stupid sometimes.

I mean is this job interesting at all? Are the hours awful? Is the workload impossibly difficult or easy? People don't normally leave a job for less money unless it's fucking with their personal life (sleep/family).

Make job more fun if possible, ask the people quitting why they quit, think of the workers in their situation about the downsides, potentially higher their wages, tell bosses to not be dicks if they are

Just having one-to-one talks with workers, especially quitters is ideal to know what's wrong and can be improved

>>manager vs employee mentality

this is really important. I have like 8 bosses, some of them always conduct themselves from the point of their employees first and they get so much more reliability from those employees. Others are in love with being in charge of people and they have very difficult times getting people to help them with anything.

less hours, pay more

This

OP, what's the workload like? How well is everybody trained? Are there support structures for when something big goes wrong, or is everybody always running around asking each other what to do?

Talk to the fucking employees.

Hay I'm learning IT stuff and read somewhere in the thread an IT guy quit. Where are you guys located?

Happened to me.
I quit a month later, as I was still solely responsible for many processes.

this is a fairly decent thread. here's my input:

>Env/geo consulting
>Staff level, several years experience with a variety of projects
>Looking for new job in 6 months, short of a miracle

No amount of food, reviews, flex hours, or "fun" days will keep me. We (pretty much all non-managerial, including senior project level) have been hammered for chargeability the past 6 months. First off, i'm staff and it's not my fuckin problem to worry about getting work, that's what project level folks do and GET PAID FOR. It's sickening that they force us to care and worry, but they won't fire the higher ups who are supposed to be marketing/winning work.

We have had to abuse write downs for a while now, because doing a project under budget has no value and will aid in getting us shitcanned. Now we're getting coddled that "oh no, dont worry about your job, you're safe". And yet, they fired a senior practitioner a month ago due to chargeability while his job had nothing to do with winning work, his job was to review projects/reports. Now we have to send our reports out of office for review EVERY GOD DAMN TIME, and other offices cant send us projects to review (quite a bit of work hours the senior guy had from reviewing out of office work).

so fuck it, ill last another few months until i take my licencing test. if i pass, im out in a month or two. Job security and constant implied threats have made me leave.

This
>I've been given the task of telling management how to stop losing employees in droves
>let me ask a Japanese basket weaving forum what to do and not talk to the employees at all
Sounds like this company is just full of retards desu.

One of the top developers in the company that I work at quit a while ago with the complaint during the exit interview that he didn't like the dev process. I don't like it either. The in-house work management software is buggy and not intuitive. But I know the real reason is because of the low pay. You can only keep workers with low pay for so long. On top of that, my boss was acting like a douche. It wasn't until after that worker quit that my boss began acting more nicely.

can't say for all the company (there are over 1000 employees), but the teams that are under me surely have enough training and support from me.
Est Europe
Oh God, this sounds like a bad job.

Are you tryjng to get people to quit?

You want better company morale? Pay people what they're worth. If you can't or won't pay competitively they're not going to stick around long.

Management fucked themselves years ago by treating staff like commodities. Well, this is the comeuppance. Humans, as commodities, are expensive.

TL;DR Fuck you, pay me. If you won't, any good employee will find someone else who will.

Meetings fucking suck. No one wants or needs meetings, get fucked. It doesn't matter what they're about, just don't do mandatory meetings no matter what, particularly if they're for Bullshit reasons.

If you want to put Starbucks or bagels in the break room on Mondays, some would appreciate that. But don't force interaction on people.

Meetings are trash.

Two main things people want out of their jobs; 1. To feel like their work is valued/they are paid appropriately, and 2. To get along with their coworkers/boss.

Sounds like your company pays well enough, maybe you should reshuffle staff or management to better align managers with staff in terms of personality, etc.

>Epilogue
>Company is in deep shit and offers to pay Bob $150 an hour as a consultant to fix Joe's mess. Bob, who they only had to previously pay $50 a year, is now charging them $150 an hour for the next year and a half to fix the many problems that were the result of them not wanting to pay Bob a $2000 raise.
>Company goes bankrupt 6 months later and Bob uses his new found skills as a consultant to make even more money.

This. OP still wonders why someone would take a paycut to get out of there. Like holy shit

Why do companies do this retarded shit?
It's amazing how clueless company leaders are. Really amazing. Is this what they teach in business school? If so, that degree is a complete waste of time.

You won't hold good people with beer and ping pong, they want more money and autonomy. Best you can do is more social events/ work from home days to push back the inevitable

>work from home days
Best idea in this thread

>I have my idea on making the workplace a more fun and happy environment.
People don't give a SHIT about their work environment as long as it's not killing them
As a wise NEET, here is my advice for all businesses:
>If the job does not REQUIRE constant listening then don't fucking ban headphones and media players you fucking idiots just because "muh professional environment"
You keep a lot of people if their drudgery less monotonous
muh professional environment doesn't mean shit if there aren't customers who are seeing what the employees are doing.
As long as performance isn't impacted there is literally NO reason to ban it.

Strippers and blackjack