Is it true that once Greece became a Roman province Sparta turned into a tourist attraction for rich Romans to take...

Sparta saved Hellenic civilization from Persia and Thebes, preserving everything that we enjoy today.

Aside from a little tiff during the time of Nabis, Sparta was favoured by Rome and fared well under their rule. A pleasant retirement after such a long and successful career.

Anyone who says otherwise is probably an idiot boeotian or paionian rape baby

Sparta contributed nothing of value to anything and deserve to be a footnote in Ancient Greece historiography

>yfw Thermopylae is remembered forever

Where is that part?

When romans arrived to sparta it was nothing more than a village. Blame their eugenics program and their political system that is impossible to change.

>Go visit Sparta, the military dictatorship in Hellas, the hands down second best state ever to exist, after ours.

>It's just a bunch of shepherds, a shit ton of dirty peasants, and some autistic men in armor

yes, but it also did become a tourist destination and the Roman government bankrolled Sparta to re-establish its ancient traditions in return for military service. Caracalla even created a dedicated unit of Spartans in his army, outfitted them with hoplite armor and weapons from the period of the persian wars, and put them in his vanguard when he went to war with Persia. That might be the only time in history that military re-enactors were used in combat.

>when spartaboos have actual power
its a Veeky Forums wetdream

>Caracalla even created a dedicated unit of Spartans in his army
>he put them in his vanguard when he went to war with Persia
Romans were literally autistic. I see no other explanation.

>Sparta was sacked by Alaric the Goth in 396 AD
>the city was finally abandoned when the Slavs conquered the Peloponnese

I'm no Lakedaemonaboo but that's pretty sad.

Pretty much, just like what Europe now is to Americans

>in today's episode of "the fucking Goths ruin everything"...

>sack Athens
>sack Sparta
>sack Rome

Is there anything these guys can't do?

>lose to best boy Belisarius
>lose to Lombards
>lose to Umayyads

create a lasting state

>Lombards
>Not goths

Except Italy. But then Byzantine autism had to ruin everything.

Yes its true. They used to come to watch teenage boys whipped to death trying to steal cheese off an altar. It was probably a little like visiting a retard farm.

Implying the Spartans bred at all.

>yfw noone remembers there were thousands of other people at Thermopylae but everyone credits the spertans

Spartans and Thespians deserve the lion's share of the credit by far.

Thebans were there as hostages/traitors (their subhuman status proven at every other point in their history), Phocians failed to guard the flanks, and everyone else withdrew.

I am all for criminal sanctions against those that write the Thespians out of the story, but he rest may be forgotten.

Keep telling yourself that. The greatest minds in 5th/4th c. Athens disagreed, and the greatest texts from Athens would have been lost/never written due to the violence of drooling, savage Theban boy-fucking barbarians.

All of the important texts came after the Peloponnesian war or were written and stored elsewhere in Greece

Exactly my point. "Never written" because some mouth breathing boeotian slit the author's throat or reduced him to slavery. Which is what the Thebans wanted, but the Spartans, in their wisdom, refused. Because unlike the Thebans, the Athenians didn't fight to make Hellas subject to the Mede.

That's incredibly speculative. Sparta was still a shitty, worthless place

Thebes literally calls for Athens to be totally destroyed. All males are going to be executed or sold into slavery. This is testified in primary sources such as Book 2 of Xenophon's Hellenica.

Most of the people who wrote the great texts of the early 4th century were in Athens at the time.

Sparta refuses, makes the executive decision to spare Athens, and tells Thebes to go choke on a 13 year old boy's dick (which Thebans probably took to be a valid suggestion, given that boy fucking was legal in Thebes and Elis at the time).

I am somehow being speculative. Because Plato would totally have written his dialogues post-execution or while serving some degenerate Boeotian eel-farmer.

Someone who was not Plato would have risen in his place. It's not like Plato totally invented philosophy from wholecloth
Y'know, like Aristotle

Y'know, like Aristotle, who was educated by Plato in Athens, and adopted many of his teachings.

You can do better than that. Maybe Thebans would have learnt from their Athenian slaves, and over the centuries they could have progressed beyond banging rocks together for music.

>implying someone like Aristotle would just sit back and be an olive farmer without Plato
0/10

Aristotle was in Athens for decades. He was educated there, and he returned there to open his own school. Without Athens, there's no Aristotle.

Had he remained with Macedonians the whole time... yeah, maybe he would be a nice doctor at best. He wouldn't write about hylomorphic metaphysics, he would have totally different views on morality, his political writings would never be written, who even knows whether Alexander would have been taught panhellenism... total fucking disaster and 100% avoided by the great wisdom of the Spartans.

>more speculation
pathetic

Nice bait. You accept that the Hellenic world would lose a generation or two of its greatest minds, and your only retort is that maybe Aristotle still achieve something as a weak little orphan stuck in Macedonia. Only an inbred boeotian could be so dim.

All you've done is show that Sparta was a group of retards whose only achievement is a very speculative "t-they didn't destroy Athens" as if that is worthy of comparison to any other polis in Ancient Greece

any other polis in ancient greece... like Thebes, which wanted to see Hellenes subordinate to the Mede. Thebes, which wanted to destroy the intellectual centre of Hellas. Thebes, which based its culture on molesting children and farming eels.

Think before you post. 4th century Hellenic texts represent an absolute high point for humanity in many respects. I have justified Sparta to you because (A) Sparta ensured those texts could be written, and (B) the people who wrote those texts understood that Sparta has a special place full of wise and orderly men. I could go further than that and repeat the tales of how well their society was structured, and the great feats they achieved as they policed the hellenic world for hundreds of years, but it's unnecessary because I already cited the ancients.

Sparta literally allied themselves with the Achaemenid empire during the Peloponnesian war you retard. Most of the Ancient texts were written entirely independent of Sparta

Sparta, in their wisdom, made use of one threat to Hellas to defeat another threat to Hellas, and ensured the diversity of political life throughout the Hellenic world and preserved the conditions necessary for those texts that we so love.

Only a rank boeotian would think the texts were written independently of Sparta, when (A) the authors would be dead or enslaved by a Theban if not for Sparta, (B) the texts often discuss Sparta in detail and draw a lot of inspiration from the Spartans, and (C) fuck you, Theban sympathiser, even the Mede is better than a boy-fucking eel farming degenerate savage.

>everyone who disagrees with me is a theban
Dumb spartans
They were like the proto-krauts

Most of the ancient authors (Herodotus, the Hellenistic era philosophers, Thucydides, Euclid, etc) would suffered no difference if Athens had been destroyed.
And I don't know why you keep on trying to pin me as a Boeotian when I fall into the pro-Athens camp

You can hardly say most, when you're losing prolific authors like Plato and Xenophon. Further, Thucydides is iffy; it really depends on when you think he wrote his text, when you think he died, and how well read you think his text would be before Thebans burn the city and murder/rape every Athenian.

I am pro-Athens, too, or rather I believe Athens and Sparta were supreme representations of the achievements of Hellenic civilization. Things could have turned out a lot better, but I'm not going to pretend that Spartans achieved nothing and were the worst of all Hellenes, especially when there are "people" like Thebans who technically were Hellenic.

Everyone can agree that Dorian Greece was Best Greece. Ionian and Aeolians are meme peoples.

Most in terms of authors
And Sparta was just an autistic outpost whose importance is of the political and military variety, not cultural or artistic
And it's still hilarious that the cream of the spartan army was destroyed by a group of literal faggots

>destroyed by a group of literal faggots

top kek

medieval Roman autism*

Well they were outnumbered and their support troops abandoned them.
But Spartans were just as much literal faggots (I don't think I would need to point out their bond-forming techniques and their weird as fuck marriage rituals to make my point...), I really don't see why thatis of any importance.

Spartan are slaves who follow the custums of their slavers

Both masters and slavers were not even greeks to begin with

Survive.

>implying boy fucking wasn't practiced in Sparta as well

Did they get slaughtered?

We already had this discussion, and the conclusion was that 4th c. primary sources indicate that boy fucking was illegal in Sparta.

However, child molestation was 100% legal and pretty much the national sport in Boeotia.

See: Plato & Xenophon.

tfw Macedonia doesn't eveen bother conquering you on the way to persia after taking thebes because youre a hollow shell of your former self.

>"on the way to persia"

northern brainlet detected

>The only really cool thing about Spartans was there sense of humor,
examples?

Their written reply back to Phillip II's was funny.

>if

Agesilaus upon seeing walls erected to repel his army: "What splendid women's quarters." Then, pointing to his army: "These are Sparta's walls."

Philp of Macedon to Sparta: "Shall I enter your land as a friend or a foe?"
Sparta: "Neither."

Philip: "Surrender. If I defeat you, you are slaves forever."
Sparta: "If."

Athenian: "Why do you Spartans allow your women to rule?"
Spartans: "Because they are the only women who give birth to men."

The word Laconic comes from them.

i.e. humour that is pithy and biting.