ITT: Dumbass Moments in War

>That time Spain tried to help Irish rebels but landed on the wrong side of the island

And to think all it took was driving some trucks up and down the same road repeatedly to convince the British they couldn't win

>HEY COMRADE LET'S RIDE ARMOR INTO TOWN WITH NO INFANTRY SUPPORT
>Chechen_Kenshiro_With_RPG.webm
>SHIEEEET

>lol let's just parade our tanks in a line through the streets, that will show them
>oh no how could this happen

>That time American and Canadian forces landed on opposite sides of an abandoned island and shot eachother because of some fog while a destroyer hit a mine

That was beautiful.

goddamn, imagine if one of the men killed was your son or your husband
>we're sorry ma'am, your husband was killed along with 312 others in a retarded accident

Things like these happened during the Iraq war, with dozens or hundreds of casualties too. It's really depressing.

The best part was when they decided the Chechens weren't doing enough damage and took the matters in their own hands:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grozny_OMON_fratricide_incident

>For some reason the Chechens still claimed responsibility for it
Who the fuck was running their propaganda wing?

>WW1
>German ship disguised itself as a British ship to make raids easier
>accidently ran into the ship it was disguised as
>The British ship it was disguised as, was disguised as a German ship
>The ship the British ship was impersonating was the German ship impersonating them
> have a battle where the ships battle imposters of themselves

>WW2
>Australian cruiser hails German merchant raider
>By some stroke of luck German auxiliary cruiser actually wins

>that time a few Habsburg soldiers started fighting then the whole army started to fight and when Ottomans arrived there was almost nobody
in conditions to battle

also both ships were converted luxury liners

>The Saxons that broke formation to charge at Normans who were feigning a retreat

>few French soldiers in a fort stop an Italian division

>Austrian wooden battleship rams Italian ironclad
>and wins

>Italians invade Egypt with an entire army and surrender to a few British brigades

>that time an entire SS division of over 200 men were beaten trying to take a castle from former French Prime Ministers and a Tennis player

>Saxon Trips

Can you name the german ship episode ?

Can you name the episode ?

??

>That time where the french resistance, the German army, and the US army teamed up and fought against the SS.

SMS Cap Trafalgar
But user lied, british ship wasn't disguised as german

>Entire SS division
>200 men

The only way it would better is if it were a stampede of sheep.

The Germans continuing to use the 88mm gun.

The 88mm was an antiquated oversized piece of shit that was literally dozens of times less effective (in terms of aircraft shot down for ammunition used) than comparable guns like the American 90mm. In 44-45 the flak 88 averaged 16,000 rounds per kill. The 128mm averaged 3,000 rounds. The 90mm with VT fuzes, SCR-584 tracking radar, and an analog fire control computer, averaged 200-400 rounds per kill, literally 40 times more effective than the flak 88.

But that hardly does it justice. By 1944 it cost more in 88 ammo to shoot down an American or British bomber (much less a fighter) than the Allied bomber itself cost, that's not including the cost of multiple replacement barrels for the 88. Here is an example of a common late war scenario. On October 26th of 1944 US bomber command raided Hamburg with 720 bombers. Defending the city was some 400 flak 88 guns, which proceeded to fire 25,000+ shells before running low on ammunition. The result? One bomber downed.

All taken from "FLAK, German Anti-Aircraft Defenses 1914-1945," by Edward B. Westermann.

Millions of shells per month, tens of thousands of heavy guns, and millions of men (peak 900,000) were diverted towards a fairly ineffective AA defense. German artillery being consistently short on guns and ammo was directly the result of how ineffective the flak 88 was at its primary role of air defense. Can you imagine how much longer the war have went if the Germans had the 90mm and could devote most of these resources towards field artillery instead? Good thing they couldn't get off the muh Fatherland autism.

>invading Russia

Interesting post

you posted this in the other thread you fucking faggot

Pretty much anything royal navy

>operation menace

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Nicopolis
this entire shit show

>no idea where I am
>no idea who I'm fighting
>no idea what's on the other side of that hill
>but I know I must charge
Creed of the French knight

such things happen in war

You just tell the parents their son died in an important mission to end the war. Now imagine how it must have felt to be on the side that lost, all their deaths were pointless.

>North Korea loses a submarine
>To a commercial fishing vessel’s net

That time when over 8000 Russians with air support cant take a village of 150 Chechen rebels.

That time that like a dozen Germans occupied all of Belgrade on a bluff

Thanks mate

Enlighten me user.

> the entirety of the russian attempt to get their navy to japan during ruso-japanese war
>attack british fishing boats, brits come out and sink a bunch of em
>during gun salute to downed ships accidently hit more of own ships
theres a lot more its a comedy of errors

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_for_Castle_Itter

Anyone have the one where French employed both Scottish and German mercs to siege some Brits, but the Scots and Germans ended up arguing with and then proceeding to slaughter each other while the French and Brits could only watch?
Scot cavalry did a charge against German arty I believe. It was all over YOU'RE DRUNK, WE FIGHT BETTER, WE'RE ONLY LOSING BECAUSE OF YOU etc.

Pic for you

Thanks user, I didn't have my computer with me to post the screencap.

I knew this day would come...

...

And wasn't their navy then btfo?

Thanks user

I like you a lot.

There was this one time in the 11th century when the Hungarians destroyed an invading Holy Roman army by feeding them to death.

>Be Heinrich III
>Invade Hungary
>For the third time, the first second invasions were about interfering with local civil wars
>What can possibly go wrong?
>Penetrate the country from two ways, the main force invades Pannonia under the direct command of the emperor, a smaller support force advances along the Danube
>The Hungarians avoid a direct battle, harass the main force and cut them off from supplies
>They send a fake message to the commander of the supply fleet via a terrified serf, telling said commander to scuttle the ships and go back to Bavaria because the realm is under attack and the Hungarian front is now of secondary importance
>He falls for it
>No more outside supplies
>The main force is now starving along with the emperor himself
>Constant raids, the numbers are dwindling, morale is low
>Heinrich III now has to beg for a truce and for food to what he considers disgusting pagan Untermenschen
>The Magyars organize a victory feast and invite the surviving Germans because why not
>Eat you fuckers
>Eat
>NOMNOMNOMNOMNOM DELICIOUS FISH NOMNOM I HAVEN'T EATEN FOR A WEEK NOMNOMNOMNOM
>Would you like some more?
>FUCK YES NOMNOMNOMNOM
>Eating a lot after prolonged starvation is really unhealthy, a lot of Germans find it out the hard way
>The survivors even leave their gear and armor behind and just run West, eager to get the fuck out of Hungary as fast as possible before more horrible things happen

>result South Korean victory

>be a brit lad raiding France
>while setting up defences, see a doe running up the plain
>shoot her and actually hit her with ypur trusty longbow folded one thousand times
>everyone cheers
>the cheering alerts the french who come run you down
>battle becomes an expression in the french language for easily beating someone

those digits tho

>Enver Pasha thought it was a good idea to March thru the Caucasus before the onset of winter without winter gear

>AH forces march thru the Carpathian Mountains with little winter gear and end up fighting a campaign with the amount of casualties as Stalingrad

It was much more complicated than that and you know it

That one time the CIA armed and trained a group of freedom fighters, only to have their leader perform the most deadly terrorist attack on US soil a few decades later.

>Anyone have the one where French employed both Scottish and German mercs to siege some Brits, but the Scots and Germans ended up arguing with and then proceeding to slaughter each other while the French and Brits could only watch?

I need this

whats this

...

>That one time a unit of Romans broke through the center at Trebia but kept marching and abandoned their comrades
I don't know which battles, but that, surprisingly, happened a couple more times.

Also
>that time when a Spanish garrison surrendered to flip peasants with quaker guns and pieces of wood painted black

I got one

pickett's charge, ended up losing gettysburg due to his hubris .

This sounds interesting, what battle?

>invades Ethiopia, who is in the Soviet sphere with him
>Soviets ask Barre to stop
>Barre responds by ejecting all 20,000 Soviets from the country with a week's notice and cancelling the lease on the naval base the Soviets had just finished building at Berbera
>Soviets respond by throwing full weight behind Ethiopia
>largest Soviet airlift since WW2
>hundreds of thousands of tons of supplies brought in by ship
>2 brigades of Yemenis brought over
>17,000 Cubans flown in
>a fucking satellite launch diverted to provide intel on Somali positions in Ethiopia
>meanwhile Barre finds himself without any supplies because nobody wants to give arms to a country that just invaded a neighbor without even a declaration of war
>Somali army gets curbstomped
>Somali air force ceases to exist

4th Crusade, I was dumbfounded when I learned about it

>entire SS division
>over 200 men

>Sino-Japanese war, 1937
>the Chinese just lost shanghai, and the Japanese are rushing towards Nanjing
>luckily there's a massive line of fortifications shielding Nanjing, often called the "Chinese Hindenburg line"
>Chinese officers boast it could hold back the Japanese in battle for 6 months before breaking
>As the Japanese close in however, several divisions of Manchurian exiles retreat from the line because their commander doesn't want to fight
>The Japanese of course go through the undefended gap in the line
>The Chinese Hindenburg Line falls without a shot having been fired.

>without even a declaration of war
So what is this shit?

Ogaden War. Somalia had been pretty actively sponsoring rebels in Ogaden in Ethiopia, and after a failed rebel offensive he decided "fuck it" and sent the regular Somali army across the border.

The Ethiopians had no idea what was going on and for about a week didn't even realize they were fighting the actual Somali army. Rather they thought they were just unusually well equipped "volunteers" of the kind we saw in the Crimea or Ukraine in 2014.

The rationale was that the shitty Greeks had been sabotaging the previous crusades, so you need to first take out Byzanth and only then could you continue with the real deal.

At least thats what the Venedians told them and why shouldnt you trust the seajews?

This.

The French had a good look at what exactly went horrible wrong for them during the first half of the 100YW and then used exactly the same tactics against the Turks.
Even when the King of Hungary -who had been fighting them the last decades- openly told them thats its utterly retarded.

Welcome to late-war Germany.

>during the carpathian offensive in ww1 there are actual reports of people being eaten by wolves

Interesting, but you even said in your post
>with VT fuzes, SCR-584 tracking radar, and an analog fire control computer

You can't just blame the gun itself you disingenuous faggot.

Holy fuck my sides

You forgot
>get caught in fishing net
>navy sailors want to mutiny
>special forces says they all need to die in duty to cover their secrets
>proceed to kill each other

>get ambushed and killed by friendly forces
>Russians kill and torture civvies to try to cover it up
>they lay the blame on you posthumously
Russia really is a shithole through and through.

underrated

That's not what happened at all

4 jap battleships vs. 8 Russian battleships. Japs sunk all 8 ruskie ships and only lost a torpedo boat or two iirc

>that one war when Venice switched sides enough times to see themselves allied with their initial enemies fighting against their initial allies
>that one time two Italian cities had a full on war over a fucking bucket
>that one time the Romans retreated after winning a battle and the enemy dressed the trees in a forest as soldiers to scare them off

Battle of Lissa

>that one time a Jewish spy infiltrated the Syrian High Command and had them plant trees on the Golan Heights so the tank crews would stay in the shade only for the Israeli army to wipe them out in a single strike since they were aiming for the lonely trees
>that one time an Italian cavalry unit charged a Soviet artillery unit on the East Front and won

FACE

OFF

>that one time a pretendrt tried to usurp a British client state only for the Brits to bombard him for 40 minutes until he gives up
>they billed the country for the ammo used

>that one time the Dutch fired a single shot hitting a Habsburg soup kettle which made them give up instantly

you'd surrender too if all your soup was gone

Soup is the glue that held Mitteleuropa together

>tank crews
Those were arty positions, even more hilarious IMO.

Patay

The Kettle War is my favourite meme.

>>that one war when Venice switched sides enough times to see themselves allied with their initial enemies fighting against their initial allies
So, one time?

Except the Germans also had much better options of their own. Light flak of 37mm caliber or around there was much better. As was the 128mm (though still nowhere near the 90mm), which averaged 3,000 shells per bomber shot down.