How does Veeky Forums prepare for job interviews?

How does Veeky Forums prepare for job interviews?

Don't jerk off for a couple of days prior to the interview to build temporary confidence going into the meeting. Not even shitting you.

I always jerk off right before the interview to relieve stress.

...

>implying I work

I am a cryptoneet.

i don't

Jerk off before you go to interview

I find that jerking off during the interview tends to break the ice

I always jerk off IN the interview, it breaks the ice nicely.

I like to jerk off into a bottle of champagne after the interview and make my gf drink it

print out a picture of the interviewer and jerk off on it

I watch a lot of porn before the interview because it helps me maintain eye contact with HR (especially the women).

Another thing I do is take half a caffeine pill right before or a small line of crushed up Adderall so I am at full focus.

After I come back from the interview I usually shove things in my ass and violently masturbate. This helps relieve the tension from the interview. I have gotten 8 offers from 11 places I interviewed so far (Insurance industry).

my nigga!

Ask the interviewer to jerk you off

>do you guys have a bathroom
>forgets to wash hands
>has to shake hands on the way out

It's only getting worse and worse......

Pop some etizolam

I laugh at the guys in line and call them wageslaves.
Then I go into the interview and tell the guy he is just another insignificant human being wasting his life to make someone else rich.

You're already fired

>wagecucking

I would rather die than slaving for wage.

>hour before interview
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASAAAAAAAAAA
>during interview
>p-p-please h-hire m-me
>thanks for applying we'll give you a call
Aced it

I usually just make a few trades then realise I don't want or need a job.

I tell the interviewer one of my best skills is jerking myself off

Try answering some practice questions aloud on your own. During the interview, you don't want to be uncomfortable hearing your voice for the first time while talking about your life goals or whatever bullshit they'll ask you.

I literally always practice the questions they happen to not ask.

Try to find a picture of your interviewer to use as wank material a couple days prior to the interview to build temporary confidence going into the meeting. Not even shitting you.

Yeah this.

Think about any relevant experiences you've had with reference to what you'll be doing at new job - and if you don't have any directly relebvant try to think of shit you did that still shows you practiced necessary skills.

That's basically all I do but I'm pretty lucky in that I don't get any angst or flustered over job interviews.

Not at all, I fuck them up as hard as I can so I dont get hired.
>job center keeps giving me gibs because good boi is trying
>put gibs into crypto cash
>live as comfy crypto NEET

Jerk off before the interview and let the sperm dry on your hand.

Not sticky of course, just let it dry rubbing your hands.

When you shake hands you know they have your sperm on their hands, if they touch their hair they have your sperm on their hair, if they touch their eye you feel like you jizzed in their eyes. If they are 2+ to interview you feel like you gang banged.

Whatever they can ask it doesn’t matter, you have the power and the confidence.

Vodka

This board never fails to make me laugh with its genius.