What kind of wine did Jesus make?

What kind of wine did Jesus make?

none. wine is haram.

Some vinegary Isreali varietal swill

The kind that satisfies.

what made the early Christians wanna rip off Dionysus?

You've got it backwards, Dionysus is a demon who imitating the Son.

Im sure he just brought some water that also had some fruit in it that fermented due to the wild yeast on fruit. Its how they make it in prison if they dont clean it right

Jesus was good so cab sav, obviously.

Lykourgos did nothing wrong!

I would assume Syrah since it tastes the best.

He shat blood on the bottle and the water became reddish and tasted different

I mean considering his ethnicity, probably that sickeningly sweet jewish wine.

it was literately his blood

So it was sacramental wine.

>no malbecks
WEW

The red one that Jews drink

Have some pasta:

Because blood magic.
At the time magic was thought real and was thought to only be performable through blood sacrifice. The more precious the thing sacrificed the greater the ability of the magic, sacrificing your best lamb for example. The same basic idea is why jews cut off the tips of their dicks and why Abraham was willing to sacrifice his son and why blood marks doors on passover and why central americans built giant pyramids to kill people on and why witches were accused of kidnapping and killing babies to give their blood to satan. Blood magic.

For the ultimate magic spell to be performed (god's promise kept) it logically had to involve the ultimate blood sacrifice. So the sacrificial object couldn't be an animal because that was too shitty, it had to be a human, the most perfect human, and hence a wholly divine man without sin made of god. So he exists because he needs to be sacrificed for blood magic, and that's why he's referred to as the lamb of god. And he needs to be both divine and flesh for that sacrifice to occur, so that's why he's the son of god - he can't just be a man, but he can't just be god either because blood.

Goon

Why the fuck do churches use white wine anyway? It doesn't make any sense, it's quite obvious it's supposed to be read.

manischewitz

last call for alcohol