Getting buff in 2 months: possible?

How to get buff in 2 months like pic related? Here's my stats:

>22
>5'8 163lbs
>14% bf
>Bench press 5x 195lbs/ Deadlift 3x295lbs strict form/ squat 5x250lbs/ OHP 5x135lbs
>Pull ups x15
>started lifting in summer 2014
>shoulders and back look small and weak
>almost no biceps

Just give me and idea what to eat and how to train because even after 2 years I am clueless and everyone is making gains.

>tfw I thought I was good looking for her but so far from reality

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Nope

>2 months
try 2 years minimum.

Then how long? How much can I hope to gain in 2 months?

You're in luck.

CERN currently has the large hadron collider revved up. You just have to fly to Geneva and infiltrate their facilities under the cover of night. Find a way to enter the super-collider tunnel BEFORE it is made operational for the day - be sure to cover your tracks, if anything is array they'll postpone their experiments.

When the collider is activated, you have to run CLOCKWISE WITH THE CURRENT. This is very important. If you run COUNTER CLOCKWISE you'll fall into the future which is conter-intuitive to your purposes.

Assuming you survive the journey, you should be transported into a close parallel dimension exactly 2.71828 years in the past. This will give you plenty of time to build up a respectable physique.

Good luck.

God speed.

you have the lifts that it literally took me 4 months to make as a teen, work harder, lift heavier, eat fucking more

also you didn't mention rows so that's why your back is lacking thickness and I personally recommend chin ups way more than pulls ups for lat building purposes, but if your form is strict and you extend fully and slowly pull ups are good enough

I myself do under hand pulldowns but that's just because I don't like having to cross my legs

also to really get your traps joocy super set shrugs with high volume with hang cleans with high intensity

in 2 months though, no, really in 2 months you may look worse from a little extra fat and fluid from bulking up at about 4-5 months is when your work increase should balance your food increase and you'll get to looking more thick, tight, and solid

1-1.5 pounds of actual muscle tissue?

read the fucking sticky you retarded dyel fuck it's there for a reason

I think I am too late to the game. Should have started at 14 but

>weights are bad for you user!
>you'll mess up your spine!
>work at the office like a good little goy!
>b-but girls don't like big muscles!

Spreading these lies is a criminal offence to any man. I wish I could go back and beat the living shit out of me and my father.

also this

Is that actually what they do at CERN?

For someone who has been training 2 years, beat case scenario 2 maybe 3 lbs of muscle naturally.

With test and deca, over 10lbs.

SS+GOMAD

I wish I had a gym partner to correct my deadlifts and squats because I am afraid of doing them. I don't want to fuck my shit up. How do you find a gym bro?

unles you already have friends you can approach it's a really long awkward process of finding a regular member and slowly working in more and more until it isn't too cringe educing to ask to plan a session

or you can just record yourself or pay a meme-tier personal trainer

Is it better to go at friend's far and shitty gym or go to close and cheap gym all alone?

friend's by far, it's really difficult to safely push yourself at first without a bro

once you learn your body's limits however you can go by yourself, like once you're at the point where you can tell if you're gonna make a lift just off of the initial tension you can go alone

Ok thanks. Also, is doing a little boxing on the side a bad idea? Like, will it kill my gains?

not at all, however studies just came out showing that cardio and lifting on the same day slightly decreases gains in both

only by like 3% though

Never too late to start

First few months noob gains kick in and you should be able to put on muscle at a defecit. I'd recommend trying to lose weight as it would make your gains more noticeable

before this, what are your daily consumed calories looking like?

Are you fucking serious?
It's a giant particle accelerator/collider, they smash tiny shit at relativistic speeds and try to figure out what comes flying out.

Pay a real, three-dimensional, certified PT with at least a degree. Pay a nutritionist. Prepare to train 4 days a week, cardio at least once, sleep well and keep your macros in check.
It seems you've been hitting the gym for two years, so you're not in need to go through all the SS meme to activate your CNS. You probably lack some guidance, and - contrary to popular belief in this inane place - watching yt videos and getting some comments on reddit/Veeky Forums is hardly enough for some people. You need a trained eye, focus on proper form and get a qualified advice for your case. There are many exercises beside bench/deadlift/squat/OHP.
At 22, after two years of training, there's no reason why you should weight only 73 kg, even if you're a lmao172cm manlet. Don't forget to eat at a huge surplus.
Good luck

2 months - no supplements or protein shakes. My genetics are shit, too. Just put in the time and want it op

This is a typical day for me

>breakfast 6h30 5 eggs + 2 slices of spelt bread + strawberry smoothie with a scoop of proteins + Omega- 3 supplement
>snack at around 9 with nuts, half chicken breast and some carbs
>diner with 5 pieces of broccoli + 5xcauliflower + carrots + some rice/pizza + 1 chicken breast + nuts + apple + banana + yogurt
>eat at 4pm with protein smoothie, half a chicken breast + random carbs like pizza or rice
>eat by 8pm cheese + bread + half avocado + 4 spoons of hummus + nuts

Never counted my calories but shouldn't that be close de 3500 and meeting my protein intake as well? Also my parents own a bakery and just until recently, I stopped eating carbs like an autist because friend says can't gain weight cause body became resilient to insulin

>I stopped eating carbs like an autist because friend says can't gain weight cause body became resilient to insulin
Stop listening to meme friends. A calorie is a fucking calorie. Carbs are not evil and you need to bulk. Eat that bread, you've a varied diet already

But how can I eat even more? I'm full all day long and almost to the point to force feed myself. Does that mean I don't lift enough? Not enough sleep?

alright first off not gonna preach like a faggot but I would cut from 5 whole eggs to 5 whites or at least 1 whole and 4 white because that much cholesterol is no good

but that should total like 4k which is good

and super refined carbs and sugar can create insulin insensitivity but when bulking you are going to need some refined carbs, I go with 1/4 or my carbs coming from healthy yet refined sources like whole grain breads and pasta

the 1/4 isn't science based, I just feel that ratio works best for me and on a bulk carbs should be your highest macro, I recommend like 60-70 percent of your intake

not more, harder

when your muscles are screaming that means they are sucking in nutrients to heal themselves

my point here wasn't clear on the carbs

sugar is the main cause of insulin insensitivity
not carbs, and when you are adding size or have achieved size some rapid refined carbs are needed to maintain, however don't be a fuck ass and get them from healthy sources like whole grain breads and pastas and some cereal

you can also eat more calorie-dense foods, like nuts

yes, super yes to this, but go unsalted because it's really hard for a lot of people to get a reasonable level of sodium in eating so fucking much

Sounds like you're ready to ride the tren train brah

Brah, I used my EQ ticket to hop on the tren train to test town so I could ask my doctor for some growth

This routine. Every set is the heaviest set you can do at 10 reps, so you start at a high weight and reduce the weight each set.

docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1q5lDIaiefQJamBjL1py2CadswRtzhp-JDGDOH-hjlTU/edit?usp=sharing

your numbers suggest you should look pretty good. u probably underestimate your bodyfat or something.

spend money, good goy

>lifting for 2 years
>5'8 163lbs

Yes. I work there.

OP's already has a super hard on collider in the garage

>2 lb of muscle in 2 months
nigga what? a realistic figure while bulking would be 0.5-1 lb lean mass gain in 2 months
2 years is well past nooby gains

>tfw me and friend motivated each other to work out for 7 weeks now

wouldnt have been able to do it without him, and vise versa. it was good that he knew what he was doing because I didnt.

Dude with 1000mg test, 600 mg deca EW and 100mg anadrol ED. You're gonna be huge af in 2 months.

are you sure you're 14%bf? I have almost the same stats and my lifts are quite a bit higher except the OHP we are even, my back is pretty thick and my biceps are 15" which looks big for my height. I'm pretty sure I'm not below 12% bf so I have no idea where all your weight is going unless you have a lot more fat.

...

that doc reads like SHIT..