Why is American history so boring?

The only time that American history was boring was the post-founding fathers presidents to Abraham Lincoln gap where nothing interesting happened except the Texas Revolution.

1776-1837 and 1860-2017 were all popping and happening times. You have to have an incredibly narrow Euro-centric view to think American history is boring. The Civil War was unarguably the most interesting and relevant thing that was happening on the entire earth when it was going on.

If you want to talk about boring histories, point to literally any other new world country EXCEPT the United States.

>nothing interesting happened except the Texas revolution
Andrew Jackson has got some good memes

>founding fathers
I think you meant to say successfully opening up diplomatic relations with the French so they could get you your independence :^)

Why do people think we care about the fact that the French helped us so much?

“their Civil War is absolutely irrelevant in the global scheme of things, and pretty boring too”

>Recognized as the first true modern war
>There were multiple times in the conflict where either side could have won
>Interesting weapons, interesting generals, interesting battles
>World history would be unpredictably different had the Union fractured

Also, single largest loss of American life of any war the US has ever been involved in. That’s right, nobody has ever killed more Americans in a war than when America fought itself. Our all-time K/D ratio in wars when facing anybody but ourselves is fucking next level shit.

DELET THIS
THE PATRIOT WAS A TRUE DOCUMENTARY

>nobody has ever killed more Americans in a war than when America fought itself.
I imagine only the Chinese can match this right? Correct me if i'm wrong, Veeky Forumstorians

>20,000 to 30,000 civilians eaten

Because it’s relatively short

Political stability and relative peace. Rather that than some meme like interesting history fuckwit

>hurrr french did all the work
>hurrr cheese eating surrender monkey

Squabbling politicians and constitutions and voting and elections in recently constructed buildings just aren't as memorable or exciting as kings and emperors of ancient dynasties battling for dominance of a continent with millions of troops. Between the presidency of Thomas Jefferson or the conquests of Emperor Napoleon, I know what I'd rather read about.

Lmao at the Americans trying to defend their "history". All they can come up with is the independence war helped by the French and the Civil War. Guess what, major European powers had their civil war too and all of them were more interesting than a bunch of rednecks fighting for their slavery rights.

Read Moldbug.

>I don't care, therefore, it's not important

America, the post.

Isn't that precisely what is arguing for though?

>no legendary people doing epic stuff
*moonlands your path*

>start the seven years war as a joke
Deal with it.

At least it isn't as boring as Canadian History.
I've read a decent chunk of it and the only interesting thing they did was early relationships with the Native Americans.

>brought upon the first submersible crafts
actually the first use of submarine warfare was the turtle craft in the revolutionary war

I do agree that American history isn't the most interesting. But our nation isn't nearly as old as the European Powers and we were very isolated until WW2 and modern technology came along.

After the Napoleonic wars finally ended, the US was in general way more interesting than Europe until WW1 and it’s immediate build up. Europe became boring once Pax Brittanica started. Just a whole bunch of completely irrelevant autism with everyone silently trying to undermine each other and build up strength during a time when the US was actually having a real war.

The most boring part of American history is the fact that whenever they’ve actually involved themselves in European wars, they just completely BTFO of the Europeans. In both world wars, you could no longer suspend disbelief that the outcome was contested once the US jumped in because America was just so much fucking stronger than the puny European powers.

As much as you want to jack yourselves off about how cool the World Wars were, a fully functional US war economy could have literally taken on everybody in Europe at the same time in WW2 and probably won, and in WW1 it at least would have been the strongest power. The American Civil War was a much bigger threat to America’s ultimate climb to dominance than either world war.

It ia internationally less relevant than the contemporary Franco-Prussian war, and no one cares about that.

>hurr american history isn't important
are these people for real

Nobody cares about the Franco-Prussian war because the strongest power in Europe at the time (UK) was busy ruling their global empire and wasn’t involved. The UK inserting themselves in to the American Civil War conflict would have been far more interesting, especially long term, than had they inserted themselves in Franco-Prussian war.

If Europe wasn’t so self-absorbed and ignorant of the massive fucking potential power across the Atlantic that was growing fast and in the midst of a Civil War, alternative history could have gone off the rails.

Ironically, what makes American history so boring for Europeans is that they were too dumb to get involved in American conflicts, while America was smart enough to get involved in European conflicts.

Eh, their contemporary history's alright. Anything on reconstruction or earlier sends me to sleep though.

Because the USA was an economic and cultural backwater for the first 75% of its existence (longer if you don't measure its existence as beginning with independence from Britain). Americans were largely content to be left alone to sort their own shit out, which mostly involved visiting horrific atrocities on indigenous peoples and imported minorities while forcing poor folks westward to scratch a living off rocks. Once the USA established real industry and ended their self-imposed isolationism, they swiftly grew a regional hegemon and became a lot more interesting.

And before I get accused of some dumb shit, I'm American. I'm just willing to admit that most of our history was inane provincial bullshit until the late 1890s.

>he said while trying to recruit injuns to his team and losing twice

You do realize the colonists in America were europeans right?
I'm starting to see where the "free" part of free education is kicking in.

Would that this were true anymore. There is hardly a higher compliment, or a happier state of existence, than being boring.

sadly it's inexorably browner and catholicer now.

that's true though

>Amerimutts are europeans
I'm guessing the japanese are chinese too since they migrated from there and stole their alphabet

>STUPID FRENCHIES INTERVENING, IT WAS ONLY FAIR WHEN IT WAS BRITS/NATIVES/GERMANS/LOYALISTS vs UNFUNDED AMERICAN REBELS

>He can't tell the difference between past and present tense
Also European ethic purity is a myth

1837-60 was critical regarding western expansion, railroad building, first major wave of immigration (irish), and road to civil war in mex-american war, bleeding kansas, compromise of 1850 etc. etc.

>19th century europe
>not interesting
holy shit kys. i'm saying this as an american too

Becuase it is a history of competing ideas and you are a brainlit. Go reread some Roman battle history, ignoring you are pulling from 100s of years of history for a few highlights.