Can Veeky Forums cook?

Can Veeky Forums cook?

I cook for a living

I stir it, I stir it, I stir it, I stir it, I hit the pot with a spatula
I mix it, I mix it, I whip it, I whip it so good you would think I'm a natural

I boil the pot and then I drop the bundle with my wrist until I got that carpal tunnel

>That pasta

What the fuck is that from? I kekked.

I can cook, but I don't usually because I'm a single guy. I only bother cooking anything decent on weekends when I have my son. Otherwise usually every meal consists of a shit ton of spinach/rocket leaves and a salmon/haddock steak or a ready meal depending on my calorie/protein intake for the day.

Sometimes I'll push the boat out and have a beef steak/lamb steak and salad.

Yes. But you can't. American singles? C'mon man that ain't even cheese. It's processed cheese food. Gross. Go buy yourself a nice hunk of havarti, gouda, manchego, California Dry Jack, double or triple cream brie or whatever from a store with an actual cheese counter and thank me later.

lmao I couldn't fit more carbs on a plate if I tried. How do you even call this cooking

Finland?

>Can Veeky Forums cook?
Yes, but obviously you can't

A little something I whipped up for my 8/10 gf (shit was SO cash)

Americans, hamburger helper is not cooking

>not using mustard

What the hell all those carbs

not really but i have a dank tuna pasta recipee

olives, spinach, red peppers, green peppers, cabbage and chives

mix into tuna and wholewheat pasta

So fukin dank pham actually makes vegetables nice

Imo cooking healthy good tasting meals that are full of nutritional value is more important than lifting. Pic related is the lunch I made today,

oh and cucumbers

That sounds delicious, I'll try it out this weekend

What the fuck is that? Ketchup, bananas, and steak cubes? How am I supposed to bulk on such meager fare.

>Olives too close to the cheese

>worms in liquid shit mix
looks good m8

Nigga are you eating fish Bait for gainz?

Hola fellow Gringos. i sure do love cultural appropriation. good thing no nonwhites are on the internet to catch us being racist by making Mexican style food.

>Breaded

2/10

Probably just a little bit. Want me to post moar bros?

I made something similar last night but a little smaller because I'm on a cut.

>throw brown rice in rice cooker
>throw black beans in pot of boiling water until done
>microwave frozen veggies
>eat a fruit for a snack
>drink water

wa la you now have a complete diet
gets boring fucking quick tho

That's gringo mexican if I ever saw it. It's about as Mexican as a McDonalds wrap.

>Has the ingredients for enchiladas
>Makes lunchables instead

I hate cooking so I usually eat simple foods while I'm browsing Veeky Forums.

>2016

>not eatting the gainscrab for every meal
>making it

pick one.

...

it is very delicious and makes vegetables bearable to eat. it is 50% more dank with grated cheese on top but if you are cutting then its a bad idea

Pretty sure Gagh is meant to be served alive m8

chicken, salsa, cheese, and sriracha sauce

is this more authentic? fuck no but still tasty

snibby snabby gains crabby

>lunchables

how is what i made much different from enchiladas?

Now this is a traditional turkey stirfry, authentic enough for you? i made the sauce from scratch

more ugly foods please

bunnnnnnnnnnnsssssssssssss

I gagged/10

>is this more authentic?
>can afford actual ingredients
You will never be as authentic as me gringo.

fucking disgusting? turkey? are you kidding me bro? the triptiphane in that alone will kill your gains plus turkey is unregulated. srsly I'd rather eat the bannana and steak cubes.

Snibby snabby gains crabby

Pratrician Taste my Butamanmann

just go to Veeky Forums, those guys are retarded
Australian Turkey, it was on special

back to chicken

what are those snow balls on left?

I do.
At times it is a bit annoying because I do not have access to very much good meat. For instance, I've been wanting to try cooking with kidneys, hearts and livers, but there's no such thing to be found, and no butcher about.

Most people around here seem to think that being able to cook a medium rare steak is the pinnacle of high cuisine, so small slabs of meat at perversely high prices are all I can find in the store. Like, they cannot wrap their heads around why I'd want to "ruin" meat with several-hour smokes before they taste it.

I do have access to a lot of good fish, but you get a little bit tired of halibut and saithe over and over and over, and the cod and haddock are full of, uuuh, roundworm larvae(?) at this time of year, which isn't very conducive to my goal of making a fucking huge batch of fish cakes and -pudding with them. I'm also fond of catching plaice, lobster, crab and picking blue mussels and horse mussels while I'm out diving - The water is really clean here, so there's not a lot of contamination to worry about. Monkfish is a personal favourite, but I don't see them that often.

I also make a mean salmon lasagna, but it's so calorie-dense that I reserve it for weekends, and even then I'll invite other people to help me eat it up.

wait that's steak or pork, can't remember

SNIBBY SNABBY GAINS CRABBY

Snibby snabby gains crabby

about to snack on this dankness now 1/2

final product

w-wir haben die gabel a-auch
>german?

IKEA fork pham

>classic image.jpg

It's from regular food gore threads on Veeky Forums.

Dude, i'm gonna type as sober as possible, that honestly looks fcking pathetic and digusting compared to my meal. and I'm being one hundred percent serious. Sorry we dont cook sht that was perviously in cans. you're a fuking joke dude, and im dead fuking serious. gert areal family that cooks good food, drinks beer and wine and winecoolers and has a good fuking time, and has a milliondollar house on the beach, im seriously.. dont eever post your fuking poverty dinner on these forums ever the fuk again bro, and by bro i mean never my bro, fuking phaggot.

>le carbs are bad maymay
this is how i know you're a DYEL

Pretty sure those are asian pork dumplings. You can find them in any china town.

Spotted the chinaman

I'm supposed to be eating 3000 calories a day, and I'm following EatThisMuch and measuring everything out to a tee, but I'm still fucking hungry half the time. Dinner is just 160g of chicken with a little barbecue sauce on it. I'm a really skinny guy too. Is it normal to be hungry on 3000 calories a day?

Pic related

everyone can make eggs and bacon m8

Suggest you replace your nuts and mango with meat, fish and vegetables.
Sure, mango and nuts are calorie-dense, but if you're feeling hungry and miserable, you should change it out with something more filling.

That rye bread looks tasty tho.
I haven't had rye bread in a decade.

...

>That slice of dairy flavored fat and water.
Nigga please.

Post your eggs and bacon fgt.

American plebs.
THIS is rye bread!

no this is real bread

That is hamburger helper master race. 4 days worth of sodium, 7 days worth of fat, and 3 days worth of carbs.

Who do you think you're talking to?

*I meant caraway.

I just mix shit together and put cheese and scriahcha sauce on it.

why do I feel like I recognise your table and cup?

8/10 foods

I'm italian, so yes
and better than all of ya

Chef by trade

Last thing I want to do after cooking for 12 hours is come home and do it for myself, though.

/r ing /fit approved recipes

...

...

Hamburger Helper mixtape, it's actually on my gym playlist right now, good shit

You shitting me right? These are tasty as fuck. Great for gains too

>kill meeeee
>kill mee please

iam on a cut. but at least it fits my macros.

>that roll

nigga did you even try? it's so easy to roll a solid,tight burrito, all you have to do is google it.

have fun eating 70% of the spilled contents with a fork

LONDON
O
N
D
O
N

>Not liking steak'nanas
Enjoy being deficient in potassium and protein.

Summer: the thread

aren't you supposed to grind the wheat into flour before you make bread out of it?

Those are sunflower seeds.

Thanks I just spit up my cheese and olive salad

Here you all go, my home-made protein pancake recipe. Low carb edition, no mashed up bananas or shit.

If you end up doxxing me or anything through my Insta, please follow :^)

>Posted the unedited one
>Won't let me delete the file yet

RIP, give me a follow anyways

>doxxing

fucking kill yourself you stupid newfag reddit piece of shit

mmm sweet omelettes

sorry m8 but all low carb "pancakes" end up tasting like chemically sweetened omelettes. if you want a pancake with decent macros the kodiak cakes are pretty good

What are you getting upset about? I'd rather not post my name or shit here, because although a lot of people are cool, some people will probably try to dox me for shits and giggles.

Swear that this doesn't taste like omelettes. You can't taste the egg at all. It's super fluffy and tastes like peanut butter/pumpkin pie

Very sweet though, as a lot of protein powder is, no need for syrup or anything

...

Nigger I'm Gordon Ramsay. I fuck bitches and eat good. Stay jelly faggots

imgur /a/5nbmA
have fun

it's actually pretty good
>pickled fish
>potatoes
>carrots
>beets
>onions
>mayo

I'M THE BOOGEYMAN

ah yes. tangible failure.

Are you Russian?