How can I lose weight?

5'6 285lbs here.

I've come to the realization that I need to lose weight, its beginning to affect my life.

>my wife won't sleep with me anymore
>my kid is being a smartass more and more
>i'm losing respect at work
>my joints ache all the time

I feel like I want this more than I want to breathe, but every single time I try to lose weight I wind up going about a week eating healthy and then binge on some pizza or KFC.
I've already replaced soda with diet soda, and I stopped eating lollies.

I need a good routine I can do at home, but I AM willing to invest whatever money it takes to do this.

Help me, Veeky Forums...please.

>pic related; I look like this with a better face.

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=v6mMpE8AaA0
mytdee.com/
nutritiondata.self.com/facts/fruits-and-fruit-juices/1848/2
weightloss.healthytreatment.org/
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

Cut diet soda too, just drink water
NO drinks besides water
NO sugars
LIMIT salt
EAT berries
EAT oatmeal
EAT yogurt with your berries and oatmeal
NO overeating
That's literally it, you will go down steadily if you follow the above, if you eat berries you wont feel any need for sugar

there's no magic, you just need to stick with it longer than a week. diet is more important than exercise for cutting. count all your calories, try to make as big a deficit as you can and you'll lose weight faster. no late night carbs, shit turns right into fat.

read the sticky. start cardio (google couch to 5k). buy a gym membership, start trying barbell exercises.

You do not look like this. I am 275 pounds at 6'1 and I'm way fatter than that. Guarantee it. Look man, you have to be real with yourself. Someone can give you the routine, the diet, and everything you need to follow, but you need to want it. The only person who can really make this change is you.

So go read the fucking sticky.

you already fucked bro

Here man I'll spell it out for you

READ
THE
FUCKING
STICKY

Down 150 pounds here.

limit your calories to 1800 a day, figure out whatever your maintenance calories are for your laughable height and eat that many calories one day.

Cut the sugar and all that other garbage. eventually you'll learn that that frozen pizza is 1600 calories, and that's all you're allowed for a day, so you'll learn it's not worth it to eat it and find better calorie sources.

Does no sugars mean no fruit??
Well I doubt I overeat, I only eat three meals a day.

I don't really want to go to the gym because of how I look, I guess I'm worried what people will think.

I do look like that, I've always had good insertions and low bodyfat for my size.

I don't look that big, talk about exaggeration.

Also 6'1 and 278, where is most of your fat stored in your body? I still have a pretty stupid big gut and gigantic thighs.

Fruits are a meme, they have much more sugar than berries and do not taste sweeter
Just buy a shitload of berries, they are a godsend