I literally cannot talk to people or look them in the eye for long periods of time. I don't know what to say or what to do with my hands. I have no idea if people like me or dislike me, I make people uncomfortable just with my mere presence.
How is it possible to be this much of a social retard? Will getting an "athletic" physique with very low bodyfat help?
Before you say "just get out there and practice bro, talk to people bro"
I work in hospitality and do this every day, it doesn't help.
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Where is that? Looks familiar.
No. You just look aesthetic but your posture and lack of eye contact will make you auesthestic.
Eye contact is easy. Your goal is to attempt to intimidate the other person. Dont overthink it, it shows strong communicative abilities. Just start doing it with your friends and family and eventually you can do it easily.
Trust me, i used to be permalowconfidence.
With walking and posture, practice in the mirror (posture). I like to "march" when i walk. Blame the army but man i love when im standing tall and looking good.
Back straight, chin forward alternate swinging arms; left foot forward and right arm out, right foot forward and left arm out. Hands in a closed fist. Pretend youre pinching the sides of your pants between your palm and your thumb so your thumb is down and facing forward.
Dont actually look like youre marching, be comfortable.
Walk with a purpose, walk like you havehave somewhere important to be. Act like youre someone important.
It's usually how veterans or prior service fuckers can identify with each other, spend all that time marching and it just feels so clean, so damn solid and never goes away.
4/25 currently user. What unit were you in?
>alternate swinging arms; left foot forward and right arm out, right foot forward and left arm out.
Marchingfag here. Also when someone is talking maintain eye contact, it's attractive.
When speaking to a group alternate eye contact with each and every single individual. Dont just look at oneone person, you'll look like an asshole.
If youve ever seen colonel speak they dont just look at one dude. They look at every single person so they dont make people feel like lowly enlisted scum.
Speak confidently and not in a monotone. I knew this LT who was prior enlisted before he commissioned and had awful social anxiety, and he was supposed to be a CO commander soon. Had all these weird monotone breaks whenever he spoke. But next time i saw him, he spoke fine and confident, thats when peoplr actually listened to what he had to say.
Dont know how else to explain it. It just comes naturally.
Yeah I know what you meant, you just reminded me of that scene. Once I got drunk and walked around in public like Jack does there.
I've talked with a really good friend of mine about the whole social dynamics topic a few weeks back. I know him since kindergarten and he always was kinda shy and introvert. I was the same as a child and in my teens. So he asked me how I became so social and confident and I could not give him good advice. Just the same bullshit you'll hear from others, just be confident and talk to her. At home I thought about this and in my opinion it has a lot to do with your experience.
>even as a shy teen I tried new things
>bjj classes, mountain biking, hiking/climbing with my father and uncle
>facing new situations (bjj class of 30 people and you are the new guy) or extreme situation (scared to death while climbing and looking into the abyss) shapes who you are
>you learn to not only accept but to seek out fear
>I wanted to climb higher and to bike faster
>instead of doing an internship in my area like everybody else in my class I applied for an internship in China for a few months
>I was scared/nervous as fuck on my flight to China; I was alone, did not speak the language, different culture, no work experience whatsoever
>being a blonde, blue-eyed caucasian in China is like walking around naked in your hometown, you are constantly the center of attention
>back at home I kinda missed this feeeling
>so I started to seek out this feeling, volunteered to do presentations in front of my college class, tried some DJing, karaoke (really popular in China)
This is what I've told my friend. I learned to embrace the fear and uncomfortable feeling instead of avoiding it. I enjoy it. It is like your first ride on a rollercoaster, at the end you'll line up again for another ride. My experience tells me that people most of the times do not care about you, if my drunken ass embarrasses himself during karaoke this shit is forgotten the next week or people will remember it as a fun time.
I want to add:
Last week I watched an interview with Andy Stumpf on the Joe Rogan podcast. A Navy Seal who experienced the most extreme feeling there is, facing death, and now he is doing this extreme wingsuit stunts. Listen to what he says here.
youtu.be
See timecode in link.
I hold eye contact too hard I make people uncomfortable
Stop watching porn. Really changes your self steem
>embrace the fear
This is good advice, but it took me a lot of time. I'm not pushing myself hard enough, I guess. But I got way better since my early twenties with my social anxiety. I was easily medical case back then being scared to even post on anonymous boards, picking up a phone, talking to my own family and shit like that, lol. Still I'm an autistic faglord, but I don't get panic attacks and I don't care that much that people think I'm weird.
They say at 40 you realize that in reality nobody gives a fuck what you do and then you start not giving a fuck either. I'm yet to get there.
Sounds like legit autism
...
>normie giving advice
REEEEEEEEEE
You can't really gain confidence but you can fake it convincingly.
I love the way he phrases it. I can identify with him, too. My thing is fencing. I love tough competition, and I have that presence of mind in the moment when I'm stepping onto the strip. The rest of my life falls away to the competition.
That shit keeps me sane.
Literally that cliche called getting out of your comfort zone. Stand out, ask her out. At first you will probably look like an idiot because you are one, but you will see what went wrong and now you know it for the next time. Now repeat the process 1000 times, and now that you've been in nearly every possible scenario and seen its outcome, you know what to do.
Shut the fuck up you piece of shit
shietttt I legit saved this
I never thought of life as a rollercoaster
I used to be afraid of riding The Incredible Hulk Coaster, my hands were shaking as I was getting in the seat. When it was over I wanted to do it again. Thanks for this bro.
This is legit autism and/or social anxiety and having a better body won't help in the slightest.
Seek advice elsewhere.
Yeah I spent a year in jrotc in high school and the marching walk just felt natural after that.
everything you believe about yourself and the world comes out through your body language and mannerisms.
you really want to appear normal, stop posting here, stop beating it to cuck porn, stop playing video games and watching animu, and just go full normie.
...
Social anxiety
Get a shrink
I dont have the resources so I just got an OHIP family physician to give me some schedule 2. Works okay.
no, he literally gave normie tier, shitty advice
he never had any problems to begin with
videogames are fine
consoles are normal
antisocial gaming pcs are not
>t. video game addict
>play 3 hours a week
>addict
i only use it to play with my friends from college lol
How do you know?
>bought a gaming pc
>suddenly not interested in vidya anymore
>begin real life shit instead
Such is life
>autism, the post
social phobia, try this:
SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY
DO NOT GIVE ANY ADVICE UNTIL YOU POST YOUR ONE REP MAX
EVERY POSTER SHOULD HAVE THAT
THEIR ONE REP MAXES TO KNOW WHATS YOUR LEVEL OF FITNESS YOU DUMB FUCKING TWAT
>Your goal is to attempt to intimidate the other person
Holy fuck, no. Unless you're in a situation where intimidation is called for, you shouldn't do that. Make eye contact with the goal of showing appropriate interest and investment - don't overdo it, don't always force the other to turn their gaze. They'll begin to find you uncomfortable
Yeah whatever, nerd