What would you do if you were transported to 10th century England, With what you currently have on you

What would you do if you were transported to 10th century England, With what you currently have on you

I'd try to trade my ballpoint pen for a noble steed.

as much people as possible

Tell the king to build a great wall along the South coast

What can I do with an half-charged Tablet?

Trade my clothes, phone, lighter, passport and smokes for ragged robes, food and equipment for a long trip.

After this i'll do a pilgrimage to Rome as a mute beggar and after that die by my own hand.

I have no reason to try any extravagant bullshit.

you have your passport on you?

Yup. Forgot it in the pocket of my jacket from the last trip.

>try to trade any of these
>get stabbed

Oh yeah, i also carry a knife with me at all times.

was christianity widespread in anglo-saxon england? hope I could LARP as a druid or something

would probably kill/rape/steal because of how easy it would be to get away with it though

>tfw rather pretty girl with big boobs
That could be more useful but at the same time I'm afraid of how rapey things could get

>draw your knife
>get stabbed even harder by the local lord's troops.

P I T T S B U R G H

Well shit, if you say so.

>have a gun and things making pretty light
>kill the local lord
>become the local god-lord
>you will probably have died of old age before the king become aware of what you did and send soldiers to kill you because of travel times

Declare myself a royal from a foreign ally and spread my seed as much as possible.

>died of old age
More like died of any disease that hits you.

>I'm a lord from another country
>>what did he say?
>>lets rob him

b-but you dont speak old english

Enjoy your medieval STDs

T O R B A Y
O
R
B
A
Y

>stranger comes to the local village
>kills local lord and protectors of said village
do you think these people would just let you a mass murder rule over them?
and how about his liege? Your bullets will run out eventually.

>naked lying in bed
Does my bed come with me?

anything you are touching

how much was a kilo of pure silver worth back then? say i could defend it

bout 3.50

...

...

i'd probably get beheaded or something.

>have my Beretta shotty
>about 500 shells
>some 'clay' disks
>phone with x 50k mah power banks
>solar charger
>vw camper

First would be to get to the church and not be branded as some kid of heretic demon.

I'd just play music through my phone and claim God gave me it or some shit

You aren't touching all of that

Had my backpack on while leaning on my car.

Are you going to shoot a school or something ?

>victim of mind control/brainwashing statement to bring that up on Veeky Forums

Is that even a sentence

>how easy it would be to get away with it
You'd be killed by the first village you entered

>die of dysentery

probably die from illness since I haven't developed any immunities to their particular strains of microbes.

Probably die.
10th century English is completely different from modern day and my phones battery wouldn't last long enough to impress anyone.

No clay pigeon shooting and camping.

Probably try to kill/rape and eat whoever's in front of me.
It's doubtful Illl be sent to civilized people and I might as well be in the wild so I have to take care of myself.

Show them my boomstick.

Find the young Prince Edward and make sure he gets laid, preventing the Godwinsons and Normans from ruining England.

>ruining england
You can't ruin something if it's already a ruin.

>sell my reactive, waterproof, extra grippy hiking shoes for bout 3.50
>buy a ticket to civilisation (mediterranean)
>make sure my name gets on >9000 mathematical theorems before I die of an arab prostitute contracted STD

ezpz

>Bring a B41 nuke in an offroad camper
>Ride to London
>Nuke the shit out of Europe, nuclear winter, England forever scarred
>My ancestors die due to radiation poisoning
>Matrix crashes because I just destroyed my own past and created a paradox
Anglos won't know what hit them

Demand to see the king and show him gods eye(EU4) wich shows a potential future.

>use my knowledge of physics and mechanics to create a rudimentary steam powered refrigerator
>become an ice cream merchant
>get invited to Rome
>ordered to stick ice cream into the pope's ass at one of their orgies

so hot

Take photos of qts and play them music with my phone to impress them and get laid

So you carry nukes around?

>start a soy farm immediately
>sell soy meat substitutes to hungry medieval peasants for cheap
>use the profits to hire more laborers
>buy a bigger farm
>continue expanding
>before long everyone in the nearby vicinity is addicted to soy
>they have short medieval lifespans so I outlive them all by a factor of 4
>I encourage this by pissing in the water supply
>by the time I'm 70 (strong and healthy thanks to my knowledge of modern medicine) everyone around is a soft soy boy
>i've been fucking their wives for 40 years
>all the estrogen in the soy has made the women into hyperfeminine qts
>amass a harem
>eventually the Normans invade and wipe us out
>it was fun while it lasted

so cold, akshually

Always

>start a soy farm immediately
>sell soy meat substitutes to hungry medieval peasants
>use the profits to hire more laborers
>local lord does not allow you to expand
>local lord forbids the sale of soy
>live a long life on estrogenated soy

id introduce memes to them and become a court jester
>tfw no fair maiden

user haven't you heard of 1966 the french just cucked the english and besides one chimp out sucked french cock long time

Which king?

Dunno. The big guy who's in charge of the place.

>introduce memes to them
But they already had memes with snail fights and kings cucked by dragons.

I would flee that shitty island and just shill with my bros at Corduba

Greetings fellow Lolbertarians

I would take a bomber airplane with me and conquer England with it

I have a laptop that's currently at a quarter charge, so not much.

Immediately start trying to remember everything I've read about how to make penicillin, just in case.

>trade in cell phone for a spot on a boat to Germany
>convince all of Anne Frank's ancestors to move to Ireland and establish a Jewish community there
>900 years later
>Diary of a Young Girl is about cute Irish-accented Anne trying to go about her daily life while dodging IRA car bombs, balaclava-clad Ulster death squads, and SAS operators doing SAS shit

Probably go a lot like my only CK2 game.

>I need to unite Ireland and enslave England as revenge!
>Start war to unite Ireland.
>Lose
>Die

Larp as a viking so I can rape and pillage

Teach them the wonders of blackpowder

>transported in my hoodie and slippers
>early medieval england
>be me, a slav that only speaks slav, hungarian and modern english
>most likely get robbed, killed, imprisoned, die of hunger, dysentry etc...
If I somehow managed to stay alive by some miracle and learnt the language, I'd most likely do peasant serf work till I die. Also, I'd carve out some shitposts about the future into rocks just for the lulz. I literally have no idea how to use any of my current knowledge to gain leverage in the past, I'd just be a useless frail weakling in weird-looking clothes, who can't talk to anyone.

This. I dont care how much you like the band forefather, we'd all be shunned, short of posing as a mute.

Probably try to take shelter at a church or beg for money. I don’t know the language or customs, and I don’t have any items to give me an advantage. Pretty boring question if you take it seriously.