What should my tinder bio be?

Dubs have declared it so and so it shall be

What's up shredders? Today we're gonna be hittin' some chest and triceps. Then we're going to go eat sushi and unbox some gymshark gear. Stay shredded!

Srsly. Do you robots think these apps are going to get you a gf? Do you realize that only 5/10 use them to get 8/10+ males to notice them?

I love you Psychic Rottweiler!

thank you good sir

Absolutely patrician, user.

I'm going to sit right down and tell this exactly how i eat my motherfucking steel cut oatz.

I make a gigantic fucking batch every four days. When im done i have an enormous bowl of steel cut oatz and at this point i generally take the first few feet of my cock out of my pants and fap because the sight is beautiful.

Every morning i take a goodly portion of that fucking pond of glory and i pour vanilla fucking soymilk in the fucking bowl with the fucking oatz and i put them in the microwave where i picture them fucking while they heat up.

I've now got a bowl of hot oatz and an infallibly rigid dick but i am not done motherfucker and it is not yet time to eat.

I reach around behind me and grab my nuts from the cupboard and sprinkle a bunch of walnuts into the fucking bowl. I grab my raisins and i shake my raisins into that fucking bowl, i grab my prunes and i lay my prunes into that fucking bowl, and i grab my fucking naked banana and i layer it into that fucking bowl. At this point i collapse onto the floor and fuck a new hole into the hardwood of my kitchen because i just can't fucking stand my gorgeous fucking oatz, then i stand up and i eat that fucking bowl, the whole fucking thing including the bowl itself, without any utensils and then i go throw myself at the sex doll i have dressed up like the quaker oatz guy and i literally fuck it until my neighbors call the cops.

Haven't tried soymilk yet. What brand do you recommend?

le reddit xd

Bark on Doggo

happy summer u piece of shit

Happy Summer soymilk? I'll check it out when I go to the supermarket.

ty bby ily

it's from the bible ahmed

BUILD THE WALL

Good doggo

good dog

>I own my own business, haven't got time for text buddies. 6'2

done

enjoy your free pussy

sounds Biblical

literally me. Waiting for the pussy.

"Donald Trump is my spirit animal"

woof on woofer

ty dogger

"I have a passion for international arms trafficking"

"I'm kind of like han solo always stroking my own wookie"

Someday I wish to be ripped and handsome enough to get away with

> I'm not here to follow you on instagram or other bullshit networks. I'm here for action, rough and loud

If it's remotley similar to your twitter bio you're officially a nu-male

SICKER THAN YOUR AVERAGE NIGGER KILLER

you don't need to be ripped
just have a killer smile

"I might not be a Brad Pitt, but I can lick like a lassie"
>tfw retard friend actually got a 6/10 gf using this bio

I made up a tinder line that works 80% of the time, got some good numbers off this.

Mine says: Im ugly but my dick is big
My Picture is me wearing a cheeseburger shirt Holding a soft air gun against the Camera with one arm and the other one holds a waifu pillow.

Got tinder yesterday and ive so far gotten three matches

Asked the first girl: hey girl are you a rope?
Because i want you to hang around my neck.

The other ones i just said mean things to because they were fatsos.

pics or didnt happen

your profile, i mean

and the matches too for lulz

>it's all good. I've gotten worse ones hahaha

how are you this much of a beta faggot?

just have a normal conversation. trying to pick up girls by lines is cringe-tier and puts the bitches on pedastal. She thinks like:

"Oh i am a very valuable thing, they all should be trying to pick me up by lines and try harder and harder and i am gonna choose the one whoever i want. YAY LIFE IS GREAT"

NIGGA REALLY?

I see guys around here that is very happy when a random girl in a party comes up to them and sits on their lap then says "you are mine tonight". NIGGA WHAT THE FUCK? are you this much of a worthless piece of shit? Don't you have a character in you? Can anything with a pussy touch you whenever it wants? Can anything with boobs get you anytime it wants to? are you a dildo or what?

IS SEX>YOUR CHARACTER

What a real man should do in that situaton is to slap the fuck outta that bitch and then tell her "who the fuck are you to touch me you fucking rapist?" COME ON MAN THINK ABOUT IT. You worked your ass of everyday in the gym for that body, while she was doing as she likes with her life, suddenly your roads intersect and she can have you? Even if you dont have a good body, you should be man enough to stand your ground in that situation. YOU ARE VALUABLE.

t. a real turkish guy from turkey which couldn't be cucked by jews.

It literally doesn't matter if you're hot.

>Lol, so you've tried it on a 10year old?
Jesus fuck, holes, they just dont know how to banter

Dude, I wanna buy you a beer

Tindr will leave you feeling empty in the end, no matter what outcome you get. Don't bother with it.

Height: 4'11
Weight: 300 Pounds
Interest: video games/revenge porn/pizza
Dick: 3 inches but hard as a rock
Home: mom's basement
Occupation: Mongolian cat training image board moderator

ty

And a wicked sense of humor.

>"my mom won't let me download Grindr"

What opener should I use to make it obvious that I don't want anything but a hookup, without sounding way too forward?

Partly because I don't want to be a dick to random girls, but mostly because my uni campus is tiny and don't want to be seen as 'that guy'.

I put something along the lines of:
"I've got some VR goggles, let's hookup on mt everest".

it litraly is

> t. autist*

Fixed that for you

>if you make less than 150k per year after taxes than swipe left

easy

READ THE FUCKING STICKY
T
I
C
K
Y

Can I have selfie as profile-pick on tinder?

I don't have any pictures of myself..I haven't really cared about getting friends and partying last few years.

I know how to talk to girls, and can get laid. so I'm not FA.

ty for this post

...

i smirked

My life genuinely improved since I downloaded this, thank you doggo! I made a special folder called "Palatial Kennel" for you to chill in, hope you like it.

found my new bio

>Xd

>when youre not even that big but you hit the lighting angles just right

Definate profile picture

Is that muslim version of tinder?

Don't bother if you are under 6'

nigger dick flavored pudding

What about the archeolog line?

is saying some funny ass line the only way to get replies?

i think i fucked up by actually making a serious bio

nigger dick flavored pudding

calm down dude it's funny

is that a yes?

u mean grindr?

trips bitch

some dry grass and twigs

in a pinch, doritos work really well too

gl user

>xd

write that you're a diagnosed sex addict just looking for some release.

girls always say they're not looking for hookups, but they're on tinder for a reason

This is true

You look fat as fuck

why?

i use "Pineapples go on pizza? swipe right"
works pretty good for me, idk tho i have a good face

buying gf

>start a tinder
>get loads of matches
>all fizzle out casue I don't know what to say

Hit or quit? Already got digits

lead till infinite sanwiches

>profit

i can't get an erection with anyone who uses "XD" without irony

Spam 1st message
>hey cutie

2nd message regardless of what they say
>what's your number

Text her
>let's get drinks/watch a movie at my place/place minigolf/play pool/literally anything this Friday at 8

Easy

Hey cutie

Or

There she is

looks fat

R T I C K Y
T
I
C
K
Y

My bio is "Once you go Shaun you'll stop watchin' porn". My name is Shaun btw...

Not fat, about average bod desu

face pic = fat

>average bod
average in most parts of the world is fat tho...

most aspie thing i've read all day

and i woke up at 8am today

understated toast

kek'd at revenge porn

no right arm, no upper lip, weird smile, would'nt hit