How to trigger Veeky Forums

A classic

Fuck you bread is awesome

hey Veeky Forums i'm a ectomorph

I don't think squats are the most important single lift to achieve virtually anything

I'm to intelligent to lift

I don't wanna get all bulky

>Diet soda
W-what's wrong? Aspartame?

>I eat like a horse bro I just cannot gain weight

just spent 2 hours on the treadmill
#fitgirl#fitfam#fitbod#summerbod

> her

worse:

>Just did 50 squats gotta get dem booty gains!

>tfw too intelligent to lift

>my gf

>I don't have time for It!
>Everyone that goes to thw gym is a jerk!
>I don't want to use steroids to look good

fuck you

> "Oh user I don't need to count calories ill just eat lots of fruit and vegetables"
> "the keto diet means I can eat a whole wheel of cheese as long as I don't eat carbs"

This is fake as fuck though.

How can i look like Brad Pitt in Fight Club. I go on holiday next week and really want to be ripped in time.
I'm 5,6 and close to 400lbs. I have a really good diet based around the all the important food groups that McDonalds offer.
I like to drink 16 cans of beer a day as well.
For the last week i've been doing situps and bicep curls. I can really feel my guns starting to develop.
I don't want to do any compound lifts except bench press.
Any advice?

>on the beach, resting in shadows
>two skinnny-fat dudes with trashy gfs bit further away
>can hear them commenting
>"i mean, what's up with those guys? Spending all day in the gym to look good, they are probably gay too"
>they'r gfs agree with them "yeah, muscles are sooo groosss"
>Guy looks like mr. Bean with ciggy
>took a extra long shower after swimming in front of them
>gf's raping me with eyes until i finished
>guys notice that and start bragging again, even louder this time
>girls still miring anyway
>guys went to buy beers in local store and girls stayed there to look out for their stuff, giggling whole the time and watching me
>give them a suptle wink and they go all red
>guys came back and left shortly afterwards, walking like peacocks

Well, trashy girls for trashy guys.
Plot twist, I'm not even that ripped. I look like a bit less buffed crossfitter, but with quite bit of mass on shoulders and legs.

>Really makes you think, uh?

Why should that trigger?

GOOD point

Low bar > high bar

Not sure why the word tonned triggers Veeky Forums. Your muscles look better when you work out even if you don't gain any muscle mass, probably caused by slight inflamation

I don't mind 'toned'. It's just normie shorthand for "My goal is to lose a bit of fat and gain a bit of muscle".

i mind toned the way normie's use it. also the way they abuse "literally" to use it as an intensifier

Only for nick you can tell that it's fake

ayy u won

Enjoy your no gainz

you need cardio to lose weight

>full recovery to 500lbs
KEK

Nice bait.

>Dead lifts hurt my back

>I'll do it tomorrow

It's a satire

no shit

Gloves ARE good for grip. Thick work gloves make it feel like a bigger bar, which taxes the forearm harder.
7/10 for making me reply

>weighted dips

This triggered me the most in this thread
A post that's obviously a joke being "nice baito xD"

Yes. They have stevia coke and Pepsi now, it's not as bad for you.

>mirin dem 50g of carbs per slice

...

>tfw you haven't missed a taco Tuesday in 2 months

205, 15% bf, come at me.

i actually had a guy question me (not just ask, but forcefully question) about doing weighted dips.

so, yeah, im triggered

Guys who work out are compensating for no dick.

Guilty of thinking like this. I still end up doing them, but I'm paranoid that my form's shit. Never had problems or pain.

4" dicklet, here
sometimes I wonder why I even try
at least lifting weights is fun

Does anyone have that picture or video about thread derailing on fit about bread

Is repetitively moving objects in a proscribed range of motion everyday repeated throughout your life where you waste 365 hours a year MINIMUM really all that fun?

Enjoy your no grains.

Yes!

I agree.

...

4" hard? Lmao

>trigger warning: productivity

>an ice cold slap myself shower

Sounds pretty motivating to me.

literally nothing wrong, only autismos who can't estimate how much they eat need to count calories

it's called satire you fucking ignorant mongoloid

True, that's a pump. Plus a lot of people working out for the first time gain more control over a muscle and quickly improve their ability to flex it, making it look much better to them.

>4''
wow major sorry dude im only 6'' and i feel small

Here you go, mate

>constant london in the background
gets me everytime

Indians are actually kind cool people who can make great gains.

>summer

>implying I can't devour infinite tacos with my high tdee

...

>easy gainer

>d00d you shouldnt double overhand deadlift, it's bad for your back!!
a twink squatting less than 1pl8 actually said this to me

>Guys can you recommend a routine, I'm skinnyfat and want to look toned, dont wanna get huge like those steroid heads

dis shit right here nigga

dis shit RIGHT HERE nigga

dis shit is called deaf

It's exhilarating.

Chaika is deceptively strong. But I guess she'd have to be to carry around that coffin all day.

get to jelqing. or kys

I use it for recovery

Imagine how much protons you could carry with you in that sumbitch.
Gaz's body can wait, gains are more important.

Also, I just noticed.
>coffin
>DEADlifts
laughingchaikas.png

Look at this pussy xd

It doesn't really bother me until you get the people who do super high rep with super low weight in an effort to tone, whatever that means.

I'm not all that bothered it's just stupid.

> looking thru group chat while resting >friend and i bantering about poo in loo
>finish workout
>pajeet comes up to me and says i forgot my phone
th-thanks pajeet

Completely.

So, should I eat breads? I'm cutting and doing box
I usually eat it at night with milk...