Ask the JuiceFag!

Hi Veeky Forums, JuiceFag here checking in. I'm on day 16 of my juice fast, and I'm down 17 pounds so far. AMA. And juicing thread too, I guess.

Why do you think ANYONE here cares about your faggy fad diet. Please kill yourself.

What kind of juicer do you use? I was thinking of buying one to juice carrots and some greens

Because this board is about weight loss and dieting too. If you don't want to discuss then fuck off.

Did you ever think that instead of doing a retarded juice fast, you could've not gotten overweight in the first place?

>juice fast
>not a meme

>What kind of juicer do you use?
I'm not here to shill a juicer. But you asked, so I'll answer.

It depends entirely about what sort of juice you want, and how much you want to spend on a juicer.

Green beans and carrots would make a good juice, toss in a half lemon and maybe some ginger root, and it'll be sweet and yummy and very good.

Carrots and green beans are fibrous. You could use either of the two main types. The first has a spinning grater and then spins the pulp to extract the juice from the pulp. That'll give you a smooth juice and quick. But you'll have a wet pulp and not get as much out of the produce as you could. But if that's what you want, that's just fine. I have a cuisinart juice extractor for that sort of thing. It's well engineered, variable speed, easy enough to clean and assemble.

When I'm doing a juice fast I want to squeeze out all I can from the produce, and get some fibre in the juice too. I have an omega masticating/grinding juicer for that.

Look at some online reviews and don't just get the cheapest unit. Good units cost, $250 plus, but well worth it.

Did you ever think that instead of being a retard, you could've read a book in the first place?

It's not a meme, but it's not for everyone either.

Is this the cuisinart you have? The CJE-500?

I eat a lot of fiber and veggies with my meals so I don't care about getting the most out of a juicer in that way, I just want to squeeze in more veg, and juice form seems easier than trying to eat more in whole form.

Good on ya OP. Here just to say keep at it, even though I don't juice right now. Typical fit will bash you, but solid thread.

If you're so smart, why'd you get fat?

Mine is a CJE-1000C, I can't tell you the difference between the models. But mine is quick to assemble, fast, and easy to clean. It's really well put together, I'm impressed every time. I like the variable speed, so I can put in carrots on high, then fruit on low, with a simple twist while it's running.

>juice
>not removing the beneficial stuff from food and keeping the crap

pick one

JuiceFag here. I'm too fucking fat to get real dick so I suck on cucumbers and carrots and call it "juicing"

What have your shits been like? Are they complete liquid?

>Good on ya
Thanks, user. I lurk here. And I'm always stunned by the Veeky Forums crowd that only counts calories and protein in pursuit of gainz. That's not healthy and unsustainable.

I'm used to being bashed by idiots. They bash because they are idiots.

How the fuck do you deal with the urge to eat solid food?

Good contribution to the discussion, user.

Oh, and fuck you.

So you only drink juices and don't eat solid things? Cravings? How's the toilet situation? Why are you doing it (why this and no low carb or even keto)?

Oh MY, that's a bit out of my price range. Thanks for the recommendation though.

Are you on glue? What the fuck are you trying to say?

by not being a sperg and eating solid food

Very clever, user. Go fuck yourself.

>how do I fiberrrrrr
>why do I have pancreatitis from all the sugarrrrr

>What have your shits been like? Are they complete liquid?
Good question. It takes about 4 days to shit out everything in the intestines.

You shit what you take in. If you take in only smooth and filtered juice, you'll have a bit of snot flying out your asshole.

I like some fibre and pulp in my juice, so I still have a small crap every day or two.

What's your experience with juicing beets?
also is carrot and celery juice the cure for asthma?

yes. if it doesn't cure you, it's because you didn't drink enough juice.

Fucking lmao

How the fuck is a liquid diet healthy and sustainable? You planning to never eat the rest of your life?

Juicing has a couple of separate goals.

One is to reboot your appetite and taste buds. The first 3-4 days are really hard, like giving up any addiction. After that, the cravings for my favourite foods subside. After 10-12 days I lose all hunger. My body is getting lots of nutrition and I've turned off my hunger impulse. It's seriously weird; I can smell the homemade cookies I make and I think "that smells good" but it doesn't make me hungry.

After that, it's easy to continue. I did this a few years ago and did a 60 day juice fast and lost 45 pounds. I kept most of it off for two years. It crept on because I got into the habit of popcorn and ice cream before bed when I was depressed for the past six month. So I'm juicing again.

When you return to eating, you can create your own diet plan which is healthy and appropriate. It's easy to stick to a better program when you haven't eaten in two months. And by sticking to it, you make the long term positive changes which you need to keep off the weight and stay healthy.

The best juicer you can get is one that not only juices your fruit and vegetables but also one that has multiple attachments; for example I use a dildo attachment to vibrate my prostate so I can come like the faggot I am.

everybody dies, sage

One of the main parts to my diet is carrots, however I can get them into my body.
Whether that be orally, or anally (usually the latter).
And no I'm not a faggot!

Can you eat soups?

>So you only drink juices and don't eat solid things? Cravings? How's the toilet situation? Why are you doing it (why this and no low carb or even keto)?
I've answered a lot of that already in other posts, but thanks for the questions.

I only drink homemade juice, no solids. I also have lots of coffee in the morning with cream and sweetener, and I drink too. Not a ton, since with no food I get drunk pretty fast. But I have beer, or wine, or gin/tonic or vodka/diet pop whenever I like. I don't count calories.

I just posted about cravings, I hope that answers you and make sense. I also posted about shitting.

I'm doing this to lose a pile of weight quickly and healthily. A few weeks ago I saw that I was 240 pounds, being a male at 6'1" and not muscular. I was snoring like a motherfucker, so sleeping poorly and getting run down.

When I get down to 190 or so I'll come off the juicing, start a better eating routine, and start getting some exercise.

>implying it's gay to cum from your ass

If you got it, use it

If you eat soups, you die
Simple as that
Soup is kill
And so am I
I am kill

tl;dr

hedonic treadmill

you eat anything long enough, you'll get used to it

it's how I became a coprophiliac after discovering that my shits were still juice upon exiting

I generally avoid eating soups, instead what I do is get a popsicle maker and freeze my soups into large dick shaped items then I insert them up my rectum and wait for them to melt. I get pleasure and vitamins this way.

Also can people stop impersonating me???

I don't know what they'd cost in your area, look for sales, and look online.

I know that a decent unit is expensive. But a cheap unit does a shitty job, is harder to use and clean, and it'll either break / fall apart or you'll give up using it because it's annoying.

I see juicers for under $100 on the discount rack at WalMart. Don't do it. You get what you pay for. A well engineered appliance is worth it.

Ask a question or go sperg elsewhere, you faggot.

Amazon has it for $120.

Would a similarly priced masturbating juicer be good or would it be shit if I don't spend $200+?

fucking honest keking irl

of course everyone knows that the best juicers are the ones attached to your jaws

chew chew chew your food

free, too

or get your boyfriend to do it if your jaws hurt from sucking too much dick.

I wish I had this option but I'm too fat to get dick. :'(

LOST

Which one is better juicerfag, banana or apple smoothie?

>What's your experience with juicing beets?
Beets have a lot of good stuff, and I find them tasty. Unfortunately, when I juice them it comes out like snot. Very unappetizing consistency. If you can choke it down, it's great for you. More carbs and sugar than I'd like, so a bit is good. But I wouldn't recommend juicing beets for beginners. Beets also colour your urine, just a warning.

>also is carrot and celery juice the cure for asthma?

I doubt it. If there was a cure for asthma we'd have heard of it. Celery and carrot each have lots of good stuff. But I don't believe that it's "cure" for any serious condition. A good overall diet will lead to general health and boost the immune system, and may streamline your body's histimine production triggers, but I'm no expert on the subject.

There's no snake oil in the world, unless you juice a snake I suppose.

honey, as long as it vibrates, you can feed the cucumber down the jucier's hole with your own hole just fine.

it's called "juice docking" by the way ;)

Hey asshole, do you have nothing better to do than pretend to be me? Fuck yourself with vigour.

Best preworkout juice?

I just got a juicer and its pretty awesome. You get like 80oz of water from a watermelon and almost no pulp which is crazy.

Ive finally been hydrated for a week with white urine from all the watermeon liquids.

Im still eating regular food though. Idk why you only juice.

>How the fuck is a liquid diet healthy and sustainable? You planning to never eat the rest of your life?
It's very healthy. I consume the best parts of a few pounds of vegetables and some fruit every day.

I don't know if one could do it for a year, I don't plan to try. Sustainable implies one's willingness and ease to stick to it, so I doubt it's sustainable.

When I've lost all the weight I want to, I'll start eating. But it'll be a better diet, including more protein, because I will resume getting some regular exercise.

Guy asking about juicers here. I was thinking beets and greens (any) pre-workout for that nitric oxide, carrots and ginger post-workout for recovery

...

Dude. Just stop. I know how cool it is to be a fat incel homosex, but you have to work up to the lifestyle.

>Can you eat soups?
I have a friend with a vitamix, he says that he makes great soups by blending up some veg, adding stock and flavours, then heat it up. It sounds like a great tool. I don't have one.

I don't eat soup, although I could. In order to lose the hunger, you have to turn off your taste buds and appetite, so if you eat anything savoury, even a soup, it'll make you hungry for more solid food.

So it's a good question. Yes, I could eat soup. But I think that it would make the fasting harder. I could melt some ice cream and drink that too, but that's defeating the purpose.

raw onions and garlic are the best for pre and post workout

Well I'm not going to drink onion or garlic juice

>Which one is better juicerfag, banana or apple smoothie?
I don't know, a smoothie is different from juice.

I have a magic bullet blender, it's great and easy to use. When I'm eating, I throw in some yoghurt, ice, a banana, and some berries. It makes for a fantastic breakfast.

I've never had an apple smoothie. Bananas are soft and easy to make into a smoothie. Apples are hard, and to extract the juice would need to be juiced.

I sometimes make applesauce when I have too many apples around. Wouldn't an apple smoothie just be whatever you want plus applesauce?

>Best preworkout juice?
I have no idea, sorry. When I was lifting I'd drink 3 raw eggs from a glass, then jog to the gym for a warmup, stretch when I got there, and hit the plates.

I'm sure that there are articles online about the best smoothies/juices to consume in the hour or so before lifting. I imagine that anything with some protein and is easily digested would be good.

Watermelon is surprisingly good for you, check out the nutritional information. It's a great snack, lots of fibre. I've never juiced it, although I juice other melon in small quantities with the veg, there's a lot of sugar there.

Right now, I'm juicing only because I want to lose a pile of weight fast. For me, this is the best way to do it and still be healthy.

Selecting all the food on the captcha is starting to annoy me, by the way.

Thanks for the reply, I'm your biggest fan
Apple smoothies are great mate, you should try it with milk and without sugar, it's healthier. Also they are frothy and it tastes like cream

>Guy asking about juicers here. I was thinking beets and greens (any) pre-workout for that nitric oxide, carrots and ginger post-workout for recovery

Some fucking troll seems to be getting his jollies here.

While I'm not a big fan of juicing beets, the green tops are awesome. When I buy beets or carrots or radishes, I only buy with lots of green and healthy foliage on top and I juice that too. It's the best. Beets and carrots and radishes are roots of course, so getting the greens with it gives you the whole package of nutrition.

I've never done any research or reading about what juices or smoothies are good for pre- or post-lifting. I don't lift these days. I'm 45 years old and just trying to lose some flabalanche.

That sounds yummy, user. Got a link or recipe? Even while juicing I have a bit of milk or cream in my coffee.
But I try to avoid things that taste good. That's part of the point of juicing past a week or two. When I start eating again, I'd love to try it.
Does it have a bit of cinnamon? That goes well with apple.
I love a recipe that tastes like something which is worse. A fruity drink that tastes creamy sounds ideal. I like cauliflower, there are lots of things to do with it for a replacement of starch on the dinnerplate, for example.

Aren't you afraid you might seriously fuck up your body? You're going for weeks without any fat or protein, and probably some serious gaps in your micro-nutrient profile too. Have you spoken to a doctor about your fast? Also, why do you think you'll be able to keep the weight off this time, instead of just going right back to where you were when you start eating like a normal person again?

>Aren't you afraid
Good questions, user.

I'm not afraid I'm going to fuck up my body at all. In fact, I'm getting loads of nutrition. Each juicing has a couple of pounds of mixes greens and veg, plus some fruit.

I agree that there's next to no fat, other than some scant naturally occurring oils. That's the point.

I don't lift and I don't do a lot of exercise when I'm juicing. Plants have trace protein, and I get what I need from the juice. Everyone overestimates the protein that they need, and excess protein is empty calories.

The last time I fasted it was for two months, I came out of it just fine.

After a lengthy fast, I can start on an eating program which is much healthier than what I was doing. Only it's not an overnight change. I've rebooted my taste buds and appetites.

I hope that I don't go back to eating like a normal person, instead keeping a diet that is sustainable long term, lots of vegetables, protein in moderation and little meat, and complex carbs for energy and bulk, and also in moderation.

I'm no vegan or even vegetarian. I like my meat. I just eat less and get the best and tastiest servings. I'd rather have 4 oz of filet done well than a 14oz pile of sliced roast beef with salty gravy just to give it some flavour. The latter is clearly not good for you.

I think I understand. When I go into a cut, I eat my salads without dressing. Within a week or two you start to really enjoy the natural flavor of veggies. You stop feeling cravings for food. It's a sort of cocoon mode. It's a sort of fasting. I just preffer to do it eating salads and boiled chicken breast instead of going full retard as you are doing it. But I feel you. Keep it safe bro

You get what I mean, obviously. You have to turn off your need to eat for the taste. I do it by turning off eating.

Last time I juiced I was making a pizza for the kids, this was about 30 days in. I got some canned pizza sauce on my finger and licked it off without thinking. It made me gag. It was salty, chemical, sickly sweet. It tasted like utter ass.

We have no relationship to real food anymore. We've been conditioned to like the taste of the food that is bad for us.

You get it, so good on you. Best of luck in your cut.

>I got some canned pizza sauce on my finger and licked it off without thinking. It made me gag. It was salty, chemical, sickly sweet. It tasted like utter ass.
Yeah. We're on the same page. The best to you friendo. And again, keep it on the safe side. Blessings

Thats too bad. I was looking for some good anecdotal evidence, like maybe blueberries or some thing before a workout will be super helpful.

I know the watermelon is definitely keeping me hydrated. I drink 2 shakers of that instead of drowning myself in liters of water to achieve hydration which is rad.

The juices just makes it easy to eat fruits and veggies in bulk. Guess ill have to find out on my own whats the best.

Im considering drinking maybe blueberry/cucumber/redgrapes before bed or after workouts with my whey to see how it reduces fatigue.

Watermelon is also a good source of citruline, which aids in nitric oxide production. Better pumps and lower blood pressure.

What the hell is your problem?

I don't care about gay ass juice, but obviously there are people who would care like people trying to lose weight.this isn't your personal board of constant non-stop 24/7 memes

Why don't you just eat 30 bananas a day you gay fuck better than starving yourself

Except juicing is not starving yourself

No gains no reply

Saged and reported.

Wouldn't just eating the fruit do the same?

How many dicks do you suck per day?

Would you drink nigger cum shakes?

What are you gonna do when all the weight you lost comes piling back on because you followed some meme diet?

good job op im also doing a juice fast. cucumbers apples kale celery tomatoes and a lemon. lemons make your juice go from shit tier to god tier. i also am jogging 2 miles a day. been going on 14 days now lost 20 pounds. on a big cut before my bulk. cant wait to eat chicken and salads. I stopped getting craving s a while back. I know this makes me a fag but vaping helps me. I vape no nicotine doughnut flavor, cheesecake or melon mint. helps alot with any craving IMO

>Wouldn't just eating the fruit do the same?
Fruit has a lot of good nutrition, but a lot of sugars too.

If I juice only vegetables and eat fruit, then the juice tastes awful and the act of eating makes me want to eat more.

>all the weight you lost comes piling back on
Some weight will come back on when I start eating again. But when I start I'll resume a much better diet and start getting some more exercise.

>been going on 14 days now lost 20 pounds
Great results, OP!

Yeah, I try to put a half lemon into every juicing and some ginger too. I will try to keep on eye out for a relationship between lemon intake and the poop thing.

You've lost even more than I have because you're exercising too and I like beer. I hope you're mixing up the veggies, our bodies need lots of variety. I juice cabbage which sounds weird, but it's very cheap, and has nutrients that are scarce. I don't normally juice tomatoes because they tend to overwhelm the flavour of the juice, but if that's what you like and you're not using any other fruit but some apple, you have a great go-to recipe there.

Don't worry about the vaping, it's surely better than smoking.

Ooops, I meant "Great results, user!"
I don't need to congratulate myself. I'm fitting into my 36" waist pants today just fine, that's enough of a reward.

JuiceFag here... Ive also been sucking dick and saving the cum in jars and adding them in my juice.

Don't you have a job? Wait, of course not. I hope your summer is going well.