Depressed brah

Sup Veeky Forums depressed brah here with his monthly update.

First of all I found that most likely I'm not really depressed, just suffer from some Sort of fucked up PTSD.

Quick recap:

After years of lifting meet some tinderella who wants to bang after second date

> can't boner right away cause nervous
> she says stuff like 'other guys are better/faster than you'
> I pretend to not care, once we give up we go to bed, boom random boner, we fuck.
> her 'FINALLY'
> feel really Bad about myself.
> keep meeting her cause 'wtf are feelings?' to prove her and myself that I'm NOT worse than other guys.
> all this pressure let's me relieve the first night over and over.
> stress/anxiety are increasing daily.
> she is in love with me while I'm internally dying.
> Basically I burned. Like a candle. Broke up after 7 months of this horror.

First it was anxiety to lose/not have erection with her. Than I thought that maybe I won't boner with any girl. This basically means no GF, wife or familiy.
I have/had existential crisis at 23. just lol at this.

Symptoms:
> mild panic attacks (feels like someone would drop a stone on your chest)
> sleep (cause panic attacks)
> I had very poor concentration (gets better)
> butterflies in stomach in the morning
> random muscle twitches all over the body. Like 20-30 a day.
> cry on average once a Week
> I'm SO angry at myself for letting that happen.


The break up has been 3 months ago. What have I been doing:

> Therapy
> Meditation
> Healthy nutrition
> lots of vitamins
> Gym
> going to different doctors hoping to find a way to help my body recover.

They want to give me some antidepressants, which I refuse.

So far I've made some progress. I was able to play some Xbox for the first time in 10 months and enjoy it.
Also my sleep is getting better, every time I wake up I just meditate and sometimes it works to Fall asleep.

Some things i might consider if I won't be happy with the results:

> shrooms
> LSD

>gym

Make sure to jog, ideally outside.
I find it very beneficial for your overall well-being. Way more than lifting

Keep on keeping on, my brother.

I know exactly where you're coming from, gym is helping me out SO incredibly much

Had similar situation with a girl. Kept losing it as she was abiut to cum.She said some really rude shot without meaning it because girls are dumb as fuck.
I broke up with her and friendzoned her, now we meet as friends and I fuck her when I feel like it.
Best thing to do is not give a fuck about her pleasure and just get off yourself, hate fuck and just enjoy messing her up a bit.
Fucked a random night before last and had no trouble staying hard, just focused on not giving a shit about her, also had a bottle of beer to calm my nerves.
I hope this helps, you will be fine its mainly anxiety that is a boner killer.
Rememebr also, you are not 12 anymore, you have to be actually attracted to the bitch too.
Although you shouldnt go back to ur tumblrina.

I'm actually right now giving a urine sample.

The bitter pill I had to swallow is that there is no ging back to before. I changed mentally and will never be this careless/happy kid I once was. It hurts but it's the truth.

My anxiety got so Bad that it spread around into other areas of life.
Suddenly I started to fear to never Fall asleep for example. The most retarded things.

Well long story short:
Watch out young anons. I made a huge mistake and will forever regret that.

I will be back in a month for another update but really I just want to spread awareness.

If there is something on your mind which keeps you From getting relaxed ACT IMMEDIATELY. That stress you can't turn off will burn you from the inside. And it's the worst feeling I ever experienced.

Doing LSD/Psilocybin shrooms will help you. They changed my life.

You need to realize that it doesn't matter; happiness is a choice. Yes the default mode network gets stuck in unhealthy patterns such as depression; however you make the choice whether you want to feel like a victim or whether you want to push forward.

Bad things happen in life; you just gotta take the sweet where you can get it and live through the bitter. Moping around won't help you; all you've lost is a pussy. People have lost much more than you and they've kept going; you need to man up. You were only with her for 7 months right? How needy and desperate are you?

Man the fuck up. Pussy isn't the end of all things.

Dont do the anti depressants bro, it will kill your dick and gains. try to get TRT because you sound low test.

I think I have a legit erectile dysfunction, shit has had me suicidal for years. I finally went to a doc about it, and even though I haven't gotten it looked at yet it feels great that it's under investigation.

I wish I had swallowed my pride sooner.

Either they fix it and I can be the Chad I was supposed to be, or if it's unfixable I'll end my life.

Either way is better than moping around being a sadcunt.

try 300 mg magnesium per day

it works wonders on muscle twitch, and kinda essential for secreting 150-200 different enzymes which may cause those feel and other somatic shit u xpin

for change u need 2 w8 4 2 weeks tho, mganesium builds up pretty slow sadly, but 2 weeks in it will work am sure of it

(and remember, u have a mission to do, u simply cant give up)

>No zyzz posting in depressing threads
>Veeky Forums has gone to shitter

Everyone ITT.

Stop watching porn, continue to fap, but with a condom on. Exercise, get sunlight / take vit D.
Get to know the person and feel safe before u fuck, dont try to please her, just get off yourself and be in the moment. Drink till tipsy to keep the anxiety at bay. Do foreplay.
Dont focus on one girl, keep chatting up and dating other girls, its a numbers game, who cares if u lose one cunt, lots more out there.

Op here.

Im easily on 600mg Magnesium, 500mg Calcium, 15mg Zink, tons of Vitamin B, fish oil (DHA/EPA) and the list goes on haha

if you have a bike, wake up some day at 7 am eat a banana and take the bike for a ride
go to the highest mountain nearby
go to the top
ideally you'd do like 50 minutes of intense cardio, by the time you're done you'll feel better, but most important, once you go back home, you'll spend the rest of the day with 0 anxiety and chill as fuck.

Too much magnesium makes your teeth go grey!

But seriously, over 500mg can inhibit your ability to process other vitamins and minerals, killing test. I did this myself and my sperm count went way down after a while. Laid off the tablets for a while and back to normal.

U know what to do

wow i just thought you meant by multivitamin some 15 mg vitC and that kinda shit

Op here.
Dude this is the completely wrong mindset.
I hate it aswell but with the dick it's like THE more you want it, the less you get it.

The more pressure you put on yourself the worse it will be.

And you literally are saying 'either my dick works or I will kill myself' thats like the biggest pressure anyone can put on himself. Thats retarded and won't ever works.

I legit don't think it's about mindset in my case. I never get random boners, not even when I was 16-17. I very rarely get morning erections and when I do they are weak and short lived.

I can get erections but I feel like they are maybe 80% of a max erections you know?

My dick is kinda shaped in a weird way so I think that might be the reason. Apperently there's surgury for this type of shit, I hope it can get fixed. I stay optimistic though. Besides, I'm not afraid of dying, I'm more afraid of living the life of a eunuch

have you found jesus yet?

Get the surgery bro, same thing happened to my dad because of a bloodclot/ scar tissue in his dick. Got it fixed now.

I think I might have scar tissue from an infection I never got looked at.

I'm glad to hear other has had similar stuff. Wish me luck, I hope this will get fixed.

Wait you got PTSD because a girl made fun of you? Are you a liberal by any chance?

Good luck bro, get this sorted and start living your life!

Ive had over 10 concussions and my dopamine reward system was basically left in shambles.

I lived like this for 3 years without medication and boy was that a fucking struggle, but at the end of those 3 years I've seen that Ive grown a lot as a person and have hardened beyond imagination: having to derive motivation from somewhere beyond reward is a crazy feat that I'm very proud of myself for doing. But at the end of the day my body wants to sleep 18 hours a day if I let it and on top of that I have 0 sex drive and can't enjoy anything. Despite all this I am not depressed and am extremely optimistic, Im just rather braindead :/ and living is extremely mentally painful.

Ive reluctantly decided that I need medication not because I cant live without it, but because I think I should be able to enjoy my life a little. I start on wellbutrin on monday. Hopefully it will bring me the joy of living life that I used to have.

Sometimes I think Im the hardest motherfucker in the world for living in this hellish pain and lack of pleasure.

should I take the meds Veeky Forums?

Read 'the mood cure' by Julia Ross before taking any meds.

She talks there about the 4 most importand chemicals in our brains
1) Serotonin
2) Dopamine
3) GABA
4) forgot Name

Either way there are natural ways to supplement this deficiencys.
I think DLPA was for dopamine. Not sure tho. Read it.

Im about 6 steps ahead of yea bud, but thangs for the gonsern :DD

the other one you're missing is endorphin, theres actually like 10 others. Oxytocin and acytlcholine are two of them.

Ah perfect haha

You know a way how to improve/boost Acetylocholine?
Im prolly short on them...

you call that a trauma? Just how fuckig first world are you?

>be born in the shit hole that is Morocco
>As a child my dad hit my mom
>My mom hit me
>Then when my dad stopped and my brother grew up
>Brother started hitting my mom and me and my dad
>he literally drags me back into our house bacuse my shirt was too short
>brother hacked into my computer and saw every single thing I did from porn to embarrassing chats with friends or love chat
>give up on morrocan men
>look for love on the Internet, /soc/ as a way to escape my world think that white men were amazing and civil
>White man I loved shares my nudes with everyone
>it was the first time that anyone ever saw any part of my body and months later hundreds of people did
I know it will hunt me forever

There's just no hope for me, things went wrong way too many times so I already have planned the death

smoke a cigarrette

Sup sis
don't give up on life
there is more important things than men

trauma is relative. Some starving nigger in Africa could look at you and say the same thing.

Not saying that I know shit but I stumbled across some articles that propranolol disrupts the storage of some memories after you relive them.

70-80% of patients (including army vets) were cured after 6 weekly sessions.

As far as I know they are asked to talk about it or write down a protocol about their trauma/history.

After that they get 40mg propranolol and 60-70mg 2 hrs later.

It might be worth trying out. Good luck

on god some of those Veeky Forums faggots make me rage with their stupid sob stories about some girl giving them the cold shoulder

The problem here is your brother, not getting your nudes spread. So what if people see your naked body, there's literally billions of nudes in circulation.

Call the cops, run away or something. Fix the family situation and you're fine, don't worry about the nudes. It's just your body, everyone has one.

Have you ever considered not putting your nudes on the Internet? I know it may sound like a crazy extreme measure, but it could work.

You are probably right, sorry op

Does it work without medications?

I thought it was the only way that I could get him to really want me or love me and then I could escape with him I know it wa stupid but I really wanted out of this shit and there's no other way than getting married

what stops you from going to spain

Who cares what women want? You're saying you actually gave a shit when she talked about how good you were in bed, just fuck her until you're satisfied and leave her to the curb next time dumbass instead of having ptsd over it

its simple dude, you were not meant to reproduce and as such should kill yourself thus ending your sorry bloodline

Also if you wanted a girlfriend why did you pick the cunt that talks shit about you and only wants chads dick? That's a basic bitch, they are good for fucking only friendo

Well I know that now.
I was just raised and teached that as long as you treat someone with respect they'll do the same.
I was so wrong on that. I reall DID believe it was my fault for not getting an insta boner. I was blaming and punishing myself over and over and over again until it became a habit.

Luckily I found a shy/qt girl who doesn't give a FUCK about sex but only cares about me even tho I fail to See why.
She is the only reason why I haven't abandoned everything and that I have faith that maybe one day I will recover.

And yes, I'm very aware that my behavoir was stupid as fuck.
But just with every pain I thought I could 'fight my way through it - fuck her many times until I get confident again'

Back then leaving her seemed to me like running from my problems instead of solving them.

Anyway this was my last post. See you guys in a month.

OP - out

>depressed
>normie who's actually kissed a girl
>thinking he has a reason to be depressed

Im a kissless virgin. Fuck you, faggot. Man the fuck up.

Shrooms yo me are just a fun time and you enjoy everything. If you're looking for prospective change then maybe go with LSD.

>luckily I found a shy/qt girl
Your love life is already better than 95% of/fit/

Lots of antidepressants makr it take longer to nut actually so I like em

THIS 2bh

No, this is TERRIBLE advice. If you're not already in an awesome mood, taking LSD would be just about the worst possible thing you could do. It will amplify whatever feels you're currently feeling, good or bad.

Are you sure about that?

LSD has been used to treat let's say people who suffer from anxiety. So their 'mood' wasn't great that's for sure.

One session in a good/relaxed setting with a therapist was enough to significantly reduce anxiety of all participants for over a year.

'The significant benefits as measured with the STAI were sustained over a 12-month period. In the QCA participants consistently reported insightful, cathartic and interpersonal experiences, accompanied by a reduction in anxiety (77.8%) and a rise in quality of life (66.7%).'

I'm not saying it's a magical cure for everything. But I wouldn't dismiss it so quickly as you do. Everything is worth a try especially if you have an open mindset.
you just need to be careful about it.

Someday you'll realize the importance you place on sex is absolutely meaningless. I just hope it's soon, because chasing/stressing over poon is the most base and pathetic existence one could live for and I wouldn't want you to waste your years on that.

Having sex doesn't make your problems go away. And if for some reason it actually does manage to make your problems go away, then you didn't have actual problems to begin with.

well obviously it would have to be used with someone to guide his trip into the right direction, and ask him the right questions, doing LSD/psylocibin for the first time alone is very unadvisable.
But if he can get an open minded friend to take it with him or to tripsit him after doing plenty of research on how to create the right setting, it can be live changing for sure.

Just come to italy, we welcome thousands of browns every day

>has sex
>has girls love him
>probably fit
>muh self pity
you are spoiled, you dont know shit
this is not your blog for you to get your daily dose of self pity high.
go suck a bag of aidsy dicks


you just want to swim in your self pity.
sex completely changes the game
go fuck yourself

up

Underated post. Thanks user

LSD is a really good choice in your position. Don't prepare for a recreational fun trip. But a therapeutic experience. LSD saved me from my depression when I was 18. Now 21. It's a miracle substance beyond our understanding.

I had her boys, I had her, and then I let her slip away
I want her back, is it possible?

Drugs like that, especially psychedelics, are not objective drugs for treatment. You can't guarantee a person will benefit from them, a bad trip could amplify their problems, could help them, could make them worse

>struggling with depression since I was 13
>now 26
>fundamentally believe that diet has to do with everything, especially for fetus development
>mom eats shit. hates water and healthy food, loves fried garbage and sweets and fats
>believe that this probably fucked up my fetus development
>whatever, my life not hers, my problems not hers
>lifted on and off for years
>always feel better when I lift and eat healthy
>still hyper depressed
>fit tells me not to take anti depressents because they'll fuck up my gains
>idgaf what choice do i have? they are all that are keeping me alive right now
>can feel my soul slowly dying
>great support structure, friends, gf
>unemployed for a few months, trying to start working again somewhere other than a grunt position
>deep in debt
>car got fucked up in floods, no car
>all the money i made got put into fixing the car, which didn't solve anything, no money
>just want to be happy, but my meds have stopped me from feeling pretty much anything
>worst part is, my anti depressents have made emotion into flash cards
>if im angry, its like my brain is holding up a flash card saying "anger", and i dont feel anything. if im sad then its the flash card "sadness"
>went from feeling gloomy all day to a persistent state of bland disinterest with the world
>all i do is lift to punish myself, trying to feel something

No, find another

I've tried, none are the same

>Some things i might consider if I won't be happy with the results:
>> shrooms
>> LSD
For interpersonal stuff like this, MDMA is often more effective.

That's what I thought after losing my first love at age 20. Then again what I thought after losing my second at age 27. Then agai- actually it happened again this year (I'm 30 now), and I finally wised up and realized that another chick will come along who I'll fall for, and it isn't the end of the world after all. The sooner you realize this the less suffering you'll have to deal with.

You are right that none will be exactly the same. But others can give you the exact same feeling of love and closeness, which is what you're really after anyway.

>Tfw on zoloft
>Tfw only on it because shitty parents put me on concerta when i was younger

The worst part is I know I didn't actually need it, they just wanted to shut me up and be a good little goy. I literally cannot function without either med now and my sex drive is basically 0. I can't fap without indulging in some kind of fetish.

Feels bad man. Feels really bad.

good advice

Ever tried going cold-turkey for a few weeks or months and seeing if your body readjusts?

nice blog faggot

seek refuge in Allah and the nature He has provided...
weed
bananas
exercise
etc
and find love, but make sure it isn't a devil who drains you of your energy, in an attempt to leave you depressed again

i tried getting off of tht shit for 5 months. you can sorta find a happy place in your mind but the second any bit of stress or pressure comes up i'll completely shut down

>LSD will amplify whatever feels you're currently feeling, good or bad.
This is generally only true for short-term feels. If you're having a bad time existentially (which is a long-term thing), LSD can be incredibly therapeutic.

>First it was anxiety to lose/not have erection with her. Than I thought that maybe I won't boner with any girl
This is hell. I've been there user. Viagra helps immensely and it will give you confidence to do it by yourself evnetually. It's not a wheelchair, just a temporary crutch until you heal.

Start boxing. Just let all that anger and panic out. My autism and issues made me a punching machine for a while, people at the gym were horrified at how much punishment I could take and give back