Baby wipes

>She's seen me use them before.
Why is she in the bathroom when you shit?

Stop dating ghetto bitches.

If were both about to shower together.

Honestly, you're better off getting her to eat more fiber.

my girlfriend dry wipest too but I never smell any shit near her asshole

maybe you just got a stanky girl man

>She's seen me use them before

So you make her watch you poop? Disgraceful. You deserve what you get.

When I was with a girl she dry wiped and didn't have this problem! Hell, I don't even have this problem! Maybe she just needs to use more effort lol, it's a bad habit she probably picked up when she was really young.

I remember when I accidentally crapped my pants in school, I doubt anyone found out, but I know for sure I didn't smell good lol, I even flushed my underwear and went commando for the rest of the day XD! But after that, I made sure that I would wear clean ones and made sure not to get them dirty by wiping with extra effort.

Nigga you weird

Just buy a box and put it in her bathroom. My gf didn't understand baby wipes until I introduced them and now it's a staple in the bathroom.

aware me on baby wipes?

>not getting it

You wipe it with toilet paper, then you use a bidet with warm water to clean it well, then you use a special towel to dry it and then you clean your hands with soap and water.
That's the way a civilised human being behaves.

>gf doesn't have a toilet with a poo inspection shelf

Can she be saved, lads?

For people with unhealthy movements and bad wipers. Nothing to concern yourself with.

This is the reason why the only real first world countries are those that use bidet.

You wipe until the paper comes back clean. Whats the fucking problem?

Even if the paper comes back clean, your ass is still dirty AF.

Figure it like this, you're neck-deep in Vietnamese sewage. Do you take a shower after or do you just towel off?

Theres still a ton of shit in there if you dry wipe it.

I shower my butt after every shit and I can't imagine not doing it, fking designated shit streets no thx

False equivalency fallacy. Neck deep in sewage is not equal to the microscopic trace of anything that remains on my asshole after dry wiping until clean.
Basically you couldn't even smell anything if your stuck your nose between my cheeks.

I used to do exactly that

Until a few years ago, when my asshole decided to evolve and started containing shit inside it, making me dig with the toilet paper for minutes

Gave up and simply started washing, best decision of my life

You're also a faggot who takes dick in ass so I understand

The ass juice lubricates everything and forms a layer between you and the shit, what's the issue? It's just the constant cleaning up of the ass juice throughout the day that bugs me.

Tell her you need to have a talk about hygiene and that she needs to wash her dirty ass

>The ass juice

Okay

>he doesnt have a bidet

this is a sure indicator that you will never make it

Is it normal to use half a toilet roll every time you shit? The shit won't disappear from the paper and I wipe so much that I get blood on the paper. What am I doing wrong?

>no daily enema
Pure filth

Just tell her to wash herself. I have this problem every time I date someone.

I'm arab so I was brought up to wash my vag and arsehole after using the loo. I mostly date white guys and they all have nasty toilet habits. After a bit of nagging I have them sitting down to pee and never using nasty splashback urinals.

It helps to have a bidet or hose installed.

>not using the German method to wipe

youtube.com/watch?v=5BP-QKqgFSg

>He thinks splashing water on his ass cleans it.
>Alternatively he puts soapy hands in his shitty asscrack to clean it.
>Basically he doesn't use baby wipes to clean his ass correctly.
You have no right to talk about making it you delusional/shitty ass rubbing barbarian.

Get a bidet like civilized people they aren't expensive

Yeah, you should wad the paper a few inches up your ass and then shit it back out. Surprising amount of people get this wrong.

Also you shouldnt sit or stand, but lie face down on the floor and throw it backwards into the bowl after making oragami out of it.

>After a bit of nagging I have them sitting down to pee and never using nasty splashback urinals

>eating ass and bitching about poop

An then what? Carry it with you when you're out? That solves nothing.

is this board about lifting or peoples terrible hygiene

jesus

>baby wipes
Is this a meme or why do you not just call them wet toilet paper?

buy a bidet, you pleb
>tfw i wish i could afford one or a house to put it in

Is this bait?

i think you just like it in the butt son

Oy vey this is the jewish method goy

>pooping in public
never ever

i dont even like peeing in public. if someone comes to the adjacent urinal at the wrong moment my bladder gets stage fright and then i have to stand there pretending to pee and go to another bathroom after

Here in Italy that's the norm. I thought everyone did this?

I'm not even joking. Most people I know are never on the toilet any longer than 5 mins but for like 75% of the time I get this creamy shit on the paper and have to sit there and wipe for like 10-15 mins before all the shit is gone. Obviously there's some technique I haven't mastered yet. Maybe I should use more water on the paper, as I barely use it now, or do people use the same paper tissue for multiple strokes when they wipe?

>if someone comes to the adjacent urinal at the wrong moment my bladder gets stage fright

Literally me

As soon as I realize that someone else is capable of receiving the soundwaves my stream of piss emits, anxiety kicks in and my bladder shuts down

Being drunk usually helps

Shave your asshole
Don't close your asshole before the shit is out

In most English speaking countries they are sold as 'baby wipes'. Most English speaking people are intelligent enough not to care if they are called baby wipes and don't develop a complex about it so marketing companies haven't bothered re-branding them.

This

I also had that problem and found out that I had somehow developed a reflex of tightening my asshole on the end of the shit

Stopped doing it, no more 10 minute sessions of wiping

Because real men use sand paper

i didn't know Terrence Howard browsed Veeky Forums

these guys get it

>be me
>soldier serving alongsidr Afghanistan army
>see one take a shit
>throws dust over his ass from the floor
>pulls trousers up carries on like normal
Lol ask him wtf he said they all do that in afghan

Kek just imagine the tension as user stares at his girlfriend as he releases a slinkie

Fold. I use 3 ply. 2 sheets, wipe, fold, wipe, 2 more sheets etc

I just use running water from the sink tap and my fingers to clean my ass, surely I can't be the only one?

>clean bhole master-race

but terrance howard has a babby dick

>not mastering the anchor technique to unlock stainless shits
>making it

Pick one, faggot

buy a damned washlet, retard

maybe ur gf just has bad hygiene dude. I've literally ate my gfs pussy from behind with my nose essentially right in from of her butthole and I didn't get any shit smell

I have the same problem. I'll sit there and squeeze for 5-10 minutes because I can feel that there's still a fucking tiny nugget left, but it's impossible to pop it out. So I'll wipe hard to shove it back in a bit and go on my way.

Question here

So recently I've been having a proper itchy ass and I think I either have tape worms crawling out my bum hole and tickling me or my arse is just not cleaning right, I seem to be having more wet farts as well and accidentally shit in the shower which hasn't happened before. Anyone know what's up?

in my muslim household, i have a little water hose tap handheld bidet thingy.
it's good because you don't have to walk around with actual shit, literal crusty feces in your pants.
but once you get a little used to it, and you for example go on a vacation where you're forced to use hotel bathrooms... it's the worst breh...

I thought i was the only one.

In all seriousness this is horrible for you. It demolishes healthy gut flora.

>ass juice

He doesn't use dry wipes

>the one thing the arab world got right

And after just a couple of daps with toilet paper so no wet ass. Clean and refreshing. Its also brilliant if you have the runs as you wont be wiping yourself to bloods.

>my fingers to clean my ass,
Disgusting barbarian.

Why would someone put a wooden floor in a bathroom

Underrated

>falling for the toilet Jew

youtube.com/watch?v=TgHVO-RZ8c4

Let me guess. you wipe in the shower too?
bidets are better you retards

Why not just wet the toilet paper in the sink

Won't it just tear and give you shitty fingers?

Wipe it for her when she not lookin

What happens to the towel?

Don't act like that, I know I'm probably using the wrong name but I don't know what everyone else calls it since no one likes to talk about it. How does everyone else deal with ass juice? I usually stuff my crack with toilet paper and swap it out every time I can get to a toilet, but always have to carry spare underwear when it gets past the paper.

It's only a bit of shit mate, I spread my cheeks and looked in the mirror and my bhole is pretty pink so it's clearly the best method.

I usually use toilet paper instead of a towel, but eh, you wash it.

Eat your fucking fiber and drink your fucking water.

Does this blast the shit from your ass all over the place?

Nah. It'll just twist up in your ass hairs and fuse your cheeks together.

Are you talking about anal leakage? You should probably talk to your doctor because that is not normal.

...

what happens if you shit in a public washrrom where the sink is out of the stall

kek I remember that thread

They usually have the one with a sink, but if they don't, i'll do a quick round about every few seconds to wipe my ass with my fingers until someone comes

The one with the sink is the disabled one, user. It is there for people who have issues moving around.

>I'm arab
You sand niggers are the dirtiest, stinkiest fucking shitstains on this planet. You're even worse than the curry niggers.

So in America that would be every toilet?

>Most English speaking people are intelligent enough not to care if they are called baby wipes and don't develop a complex about it so marketing companies haven't bothered re-branding them.
Retard? There is actually a difference between baby wipes you use on babies, and "baby wipes" you use for the toilet.
I've heard the second one referred to as "flushable baby wipes" because you actually use them in the bathroom and then flush them, whereas actual baby wipes are disposed of along with the diaper, and you wouldn't flush a diaper down the toilet. Those baby wipes will actually clog up your toilet.

It makes entirely sense to market these things with two different words to avoid confusion, because they are two different things.

Put a container of baby wipes on or right next to your toilet, when she shits with her ass in your toilet, she'll be intrigued and wipe with them.

Or you could just say have you ever tried wiping that sweet booty with baby wipes? They are amazing, you have to try it.

Faggot.