Shit Dyels Say

youtube.com/watch?v=qBRG4RkE51Q

>How can I get my biceps to be as big as yours?

>I just don't have time to go to the gym
>we have the same work schedule
>knows everything that's on tv
mhmm

>younger cousin wants to be big and strong like me
>asks for advice on diet and nutrition and stuff, literally bean pole
>tell him to eat way more and lift but he says he's never hungry
>recommend GOMAD or a mass gainer to make it easier
A few weeks pass
>texts me a bunch of mass gainers asking which to get
>tell him you literally can't go wrong with optimum nutrition
>asks me if it'll work if he doesn't lift and just Eats it
>ummmmmm no dude you'll get fat as shit it's like 2000 extra calories a day
>"what if I jog while I take it?"
>no dude it won't work it's supposed to provide nutrients to help u rebuild and grow faster along with calories
>"I just want to grow muscles but I don't want to go to the gym. I really don't care if Imy even strong or not I jus want to look big like you. Is there a shake I can take to get more size without having to workout?:
>start ignoring that fuck tard

bodyweight training is better than lifting user because when you gain muscle your body gets heavier and then the exercises get harder and that way you gain even more muscle

I don't think the problem is that they don't want to get big. It's that they think there's different exercises for growing body builder muscles and building "just toned" muscles.

>oh I don't go to the gym I don't want to get too big but I'd like some more muscle.

>Yeah I know we've been dragging my ass to the gym for the past month user, but I figured I don't need to go there anymore since I bought this new bike :^)
He's got hands (and legs) as thick as sticks and wanted to gain some muscle.
But behold, burn your membership cards because, from now on, biking makes you ripped.

>I just want my gymbro back

this isn't your blog

just bike TO and FROM the gym as extra exercise. with your logic you could say, "burn your bike cause inline skating gets you ripped"

>american reading comprehension

Heard some skinny freshmen saying a classic

>my legs are natural big so I don't have to do anything for them to grow.

Then he was talking about doing like 30 reps of light weight. Obviously he watched a piana video and took it too heart.

similar experience
>friend says he wants to get big like me
>take him to the gym for half a week, he hates it
>he leaves for vacation
>comes back a week later
>tell him to come to the gym again
>comes up with the absolute most bullshit excuse I've ever heard
>"well I don't want to go to the gym for a week and then not go and then go again, That would be weird
>areyoufuckingserious.jpg
>yeah I don't think i should go anymore
>tell him he just made the worst excuse in human history
>"no, really"
>fine then, just do pull ups and push ups for now
>asks me if there are any shortcuts
>no, just do the fucking work
>checkmate

About a month later
>hasn't done any exercises
>he says he wants to go the the gym again
>tell him he's just saying that because he's feeling guilty about being lazy and won't actually make the commitment
>he says he really wants to
>I tell him if he consistently does SS for 2 months I'll go to the gym with him and teach him (didn't want to waste my time training him because it takes time away from my lifts and he's going to quit anyways)
>tell him to read the Veeky Forums sticky

another month goes by
>hey user, I figured I'm going to start SS+GOMAD but I don't want to lift weights, what will happen if I just do GOMAD and don't lift, I'll still get big, right?

haven't talked to the fuck since

>asks me if there are any shortcuts
oh yeah for sure. people just choose to do things the hard way. shortcuts aren't popular you know.

arms and abs bro its all you need

>what will happen if I just do GOMAD and don't lift, I'll still get big, right?
Well technically, yes. He'll probably get very big, just not in the way he wants

>what will happen if I just do GOMAD and don't lift, I'll still get big, right?

What has that got to do with the post at all you tard?

>I don't want to lift weights, what will happen if I just do GOMAD and don't lift, I'll still get big, right?
We need to nuke your friends home at least 100 times and then send Delta Force in hazmat suits to make sure he's dead. Not even joking.

>I want to lift weights but i'm just too lazy
Acknowledging your faults does not excuse them.

Gay

>you can't get big and strong without barbell squats and deadlifts

You are a faggot sir

>friend asks me to take him to the gym
>sure
>weigh him, take bf and measurments
>hand him workout sheet and nutrition plan
>go to gym, show him how to do the basics
>he looks longingly at the machines the whole time
>back at my place
>hand him standard issue post-workout shake (oats, skim milk, banana, some dark chocolate shavings, almonds, measure of unflavored whey - 800kcal, 50g of protein)
>"no thanks, drinking a milkshake would make all that hard-work pointless"
>he plans on not eating for at least 4 hours after training because he read somewhere "that for 4 hours after working out your metabolism shoots up and devours all your fat if you don't eat"
>waste breath explaining why that is ridiculous
>sorry bro, but I trust science over you
drink his shake too, fuck him

Why would I wast time in the gym instead of enjoying life by going clubbing with friends. Yolo.

people who say shit about how something I do related to the gym is wrong because they read something somewhere seriously triggers me.

mate i've been going ot the gym for a year now im brtty big you think i've literally done no fucking reserach into how any of this fucking works you fucking fat piece of shit.

I see way too many DYELs on Veeky Forums claiming people smaller than this are on steroids.

They start of with the best intentions then they realize the work and effort we put into it and quit after a week or two.

> I don't need to do legs, my upper body is way weaker than my lower anyway

>dude, girls don't even CARE about legs

Pls delete

>friend is bulky, but absolutely no chest
>it's just a flat plank where chest should be
>I start getting him to lift
>can't even bench 20kg properly
>"yeah brah, I think I'm gonna stop, I don't want to get all puffed and with wide shoulders"

It's hard.

Moved to a new state

How to find gymbro?

>One of my best friends is kinda obese
>He never worked out in his life
>He is often miring me
>I asked him to join me at the gym
>"user, I am probably more muscular than you. It is just covered under a bit of fat"
>Shows off his huge fatceps
Feels bad familia

>I'll start soon

these guys never get do doing the advanced shit tho, all they do is pushups and situps and expect to get jacked

>fatfriend wants to pull off a hairstyle
>tell him he needs to lose weight first
>"i'm gonna"

Yeah right m8 that's why you've been a fat fuck your whole life

>"idk man, I've been at it for two weeks and i'm not really losing any weight, I guess I'm just meant to be fat"

hate it when these delusional fucks start pulling that crap.

Checked

>You should do SS.

This is the reason why cali has bad reputation for muscle building.

>I´ll start after new year

i don't follow

I think he's saying that calimuscle is huge and claims to have gotten that way in prison with bodyweight exercises.

Yeah it was definitely the advanced varieties of push-ups and not all the tren he could get his hands on.

this holy shit

I really think they mean getting a pump. Their limited vocabulary translates this to tone for some reason.

watch out user

he's coming for you...

>tfw when this one guy does only calisthenics at my gym - and not even using the monkeybars or anything, just push ups and similar.

Nice trips, Satan.

>>"what if I jog while I take it?"

My friend is the same, a 2 meter long skelly. Did 100 push ups in God knows how long and brushes me off when i tell him too go strenght training, because he wants to get stronger
Meamwhile implying that push count as strenght training as an adult, I was doung 1 armed push ups at 17 for Christ sake. Fucking skellies man, i don't get them

Not everyone is as big as you user, blablabla muh genetics

You deserve a cookie

lurkMOAR fagget

>I ain't eating massive carb loads
>with the exception of rice and pasta
literally what

Dyel tells us what dyels say

...

>pathetic neet "friend" keeps sperging and ranting in our chatbox
>tell him to lift or do something productive
>he tells me he doesnt want to turn into a meathead like me because he was strong enough to break a screendoor by kicking it
>few weeks later he told us his doctor advised him to exercise after a checkup
>asks me to help him out but im too busy with school and work and that he just needs to check beginner workouts like SL, splits...
>he doesnt do anything about it
>he continues to play on his Nintendo while I'm close to 4.5pl8 deadlift

Fuck I had a fat kind-of-friend in high school who was just like this. Always bragged about how big he was, acted tough to skinny kids, bragged about how easily he could curl 20 pound dumbbells.

>be skelly 53kg 180cm
>ask fit friend about going to the gym with him
>he says sure
>know a decent bit about fitness
>he helps me fix my form and shit
>it's been 7 months now and I'm still going

Reading all these stories about people who gave up because it's hard is great motivation

>You need to squat below parallel

Stfu im squatting 3pl8 dont even talk to me until you are too

so you quarter squat big weights to please your ego then act above people with proper form trying to give you legitimate advice?

:/ >:( get out.

burn the bike it's fucking with your brain.

There would be a lot more people squatting 3 pl8 if they did quarter squats like you ego lifter

"pasta" :/ i saw that too.

>what, again ?didn't we just go to the gym ?

without realizing what is actually happening their bodies, they mean reduce their bodyfat perc to a level that reveals muscle definition but not to an extent that they appear annorexic or that they appear bodybuilderish if their exercise actually produces additional muscle mass.

OK, you dumbfucks? That is what toned means. Stop acting like some bunch of superiority complex faggots because you think the bullshit you know as "the sticky" gives you some kind of superior knowledge over "normies."

>you think the bullshit you know as "the sticky" gives you some kind of superior knowledge over "normies."
it does though. even knowing the extreme basics of nutrition is more than the average person

Checked.

Woeeh buuurned by trappy-chan

1pl8 12 rep squats detected. How are formbabbys not "ego-lifters" using form as a defence for why their lifts are so low

8 - 12 reps is tje sweet spot to build strenght AND mass at the same damn time

I find that the people who got into fitness themselves and without any friends or family telling them to are the ones who tend to stick with it.

Like the people who looked into it themselves and just started going to the gym alone. Because they build up that self-motivation instead of relying on some buddy to force you to go.

If these people have some person telling them "Cmon man, just go to the gym", they feel like they're being forced, which ruins the motivation even more.

IMO, don't even try to help those who lack their own motivation in the first place. It's a lost cause

kek
I fucking hate these planet fitness comercials

I'm dyel and I always tell myself I'll start working out soon.
I mean it's my summer break I can't workout. I'll start in October when classes start again...

This makes sense

>Deadlifts don't work

we are with the vipers!!

I wish Tidus and Yuna were real and my friends

user I didn't ask for these feels

>what ab exercises do you do

my favorite
>My back hurts, what do?
>Exercise
>Except that ofc :^)

He says on a message board that regularly tells new users to ignore the advice of personal trainers and trust internet strangers instead

kek

...

>Leaving the gym

>implying you lift 1/2/3/4

What is 1/2/3/4

See

Wear a shirt that say 'I have no friends' to the gym. Wait for inquiries.