Design my workout

Hi Veeky Forums, is anyone a qualified personal trainer here?

Please design a workout for me incorporating the equipment within picture.

Cant run in crocs (could possibly run barefoot)

Also need some songs to workout to

Thanks

Fuck you and your middle aged fat women shoes

Do it yourself faggot

Also No Time Limit

I'm guessing you've never experianced the comfort of a Croc before

stop being a fat fuck 1xf

>allowing your shoes to look like that because of comfort

Never going to make it

I'm trying to gain weight not lose weight

Pmsl I don't lift for grils

stop being a skinny fuck 1xf

Have sex

That's not all the gym equipment, is it? Where are the barbells?

Thats all there is :(

Where the fuck did you find this? Is this a hotel 'gym?'

Anyway, my first advice is to find an actual gym. If for some reason, that's not possible at the moment, I'd consider doing a playground bodyweight routine. It's far from ideal, but it's better than the crap you have there. Then find an actual gym asap.

Also, I know you're the kid in the red shirt who posted in the Gym Retards thread. I know there's at least another portion of the gym you didn't show here, even if it's just full of ellipticals. Is this some weird ruse?

Train full body 3x a week:

Quads: Pistol squats with DB
Glutes + Hamstrings: Cable pullthroughs, one-legged Romanian deadlift if the DB's are heavy enough
Back: Chin-ups, hold DB's between legs to increase weight, cable rows
Arms: Curls and tricep extensions with either cable or DB
Shoulders: DB overhead press, standing or sitting
Chest: Incline DB press (you're probably going to have to sub in chest flies once the weight gets too light), maybe do some cable pressing if that works
Core: Stir the pot, weighted planks, cable crunches

Add weight or reps as often as possible. Do 3-5 sets. You can set your reps per set as high as 30 (if not higher) and still see good hypertrophy. If you stall, reduce rest times and increase frequency (lift six days a week). You could also up the number of sets. Look up some calisthenics progressions if you want more exercises to perform.

You're going to need to get a barbell and plates at some point. You can only do so much with limited resistance. I'm not a personal trainer, but that shouldn't matter (PT's usually suck).

If you're going to run barefoot, do it outside. Don't run in Crocs. Get some Xero shoes for cheap running shoes, and look up Chi running, natural running, pose method, etc.

Thanks bro, I'm gonna youtube how to do these. Don't think I can do the incline one though

Nah its an apartment complex gym

You could do SS or Stronglifts 5x5

How the hell can you do either of those without a barbell?

fpbp

Starting Strength? My friend mentioned hes cureently doing this program, but I didnt really ask him anything more about it. Can I do SS with the equipment availible?

why do u only have crocs

try running at least 2km if ur a new runner (every day) and then go up from there

I'd tell you to suck it up and buy a membership at a real gym, but it seems like you're so poor you can't even afford proper shoes without holes in them.

Considering you have dumbbells, there are a lot of dumbbell routines you can do. But some dumbbell exercises like DB presses can be dangerous. If you're muscles crap out on you, mid-rep, the dumbbell could fall on your head or face and knock your teeth out.

Yeah I don't have enough money for a Gym membership at the moment.

Hmm I looked online and a lot of places said that dumb bell press is better then bench press because they activate more muscles

There's probably some truth to that, but it comes with the price of potentially punching yourself in the face with a weight.

...

Do this, and invest in some shoes that aren't completely retarded so you can actually run. In the mean time, 30 minutes at 4+ mph on at least a 7 point incline after you complete your weightlifting routine for the day