>be me
>19
>5 hours ago
>go go Carowinds with friend, bros day out kinda shit
>drop $135 each for full passes, get the "Fast Lane Plus" pass (basically just cut right past all the plebs and get on the ride first)
>generally hype as hell, sending snapchats the whole way there to friends
>get inside, get our wristbands and head over to the first coaster, The Intimidator
>walk past everyone, get on coaster first
>see the seat
>mfw I can tell the seat is gonna be a tight ass squeeze for my ass from 10 feet away
>approach the seat slowly. I have a feeling I know what's about to happen
>somehow manage to force myself into the seat, once inside it, it's not so bad
>find the seatbelt, strap in with that with ease
>next comes the bar that comes down and clamps your legs in to really secure you in the seat
>reach for it, bring it down to my lap, expecting it to click in
>shit literally comes no where close to being able to latch
>begin sweating profusely, panicking
>all other passengers now strapped in ready to go
>I'm now putting every lb/ft of muscle I have into getting this thing to click down
>ride attendant notices me, comes over to help
>"h-heh, I d-don't think it'll latch s-shut"
>"here, let me try to help"
>attendant puts pretty much her entire upper body weight on it and it clicks into place
>squeezing me so hard my legs almost instantly lose circulation and my feet start tingling
>"h-holy shit"
Apparently it needs to click down three times in order for the ride to be able to start
>ride host dude comes on the intercom
>"Still waiting on SEAT 83 to be secured
>ride attendant starts repeatedly mashing the shit down on my legs over and over like she's trying to shut a suitcase with wayyy too much clothes in it
>"I think I'll be fine"
>"SIR, this is a legitimate security issue, you will not be able to ride. Please stand up and exit the ride to your right"
>friend is a bro and also get up and comes with me off the ride
>walk of shame away from the ride