What are some of the most retarded and the most plausible Afrocentric claims in history?

They wuz everythang, but the rest of the world stole their History and forced them to live in dung huts.

The most retarded are the claims that blacks somehow got to the new world.

One claim that I find plausible is that the Greek myth of the gorgons is based on black people with dreadlocks. I'm not saying I believe it, but it isn't bat-shit crazy.

Oda Nobunaga refused to believe that black people were real, so he forced a slave the Christians had with them to strip and scrub the "ink" off. When Nobunaga saw that the man actually was black he decided to just make the guy a samurai. The fucker even spoke Japanese.

This sounds like a fascinating story. Do you have any further reading on this (or maybe a documentary or something)?

Mesopotamia, Egypt, Carthage, Persia, Greece, Incas, Mayas, Aztecs, and Rome were black civilizations. China may have been black in the past.

His name was Yasuke.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yasuke
Originally from Mozambique, he was enslaved by Portuguese merchants who took him to Japan. That's when he met Nobunaga and had the whole samurai thing happen.

youtu.be/5jssbji4BAM?t=3m33s

Thank you.

Most retarded is believing everyone who ever did anything important was actually black, and replaced by nonblacks shortly before the invention of photography.

Least retarded is black pharaohs, as the Nubian dynasty is well attested

Doesn’t mean all pharaohs were black though. Ramses II is obviously not, since we have his body extant

>Least retarded is black pharaohs, as the Nubian dynasty is well attested. >Doesn’t mean all pharaohs were black though.

This is pretty much what's wrong with every we wuz/black supremacist theory though. If you examine them closely they mostly start out with a kernel of truth or truism, but expands them into absurdity. An Egyptian dynasty was black, ergo all pharaohs were black. A statue of Plato had wide lips? Plato was black.

Even if he's not the richest he's way the fucking hell up there.
Aren't the two richest supposed to be the guy who literally owned half of the city of Rome and an anonymous Anatolian warlord whose tomb was found to contain more processed gold than was thought to exist at the time?

Black Pharaohs happened, too. It was a small percentage of pharaohs in a single dynasty, but yeah they existed.

>greek meets black dude with dreads on battlefield
>paralyzed by confusion and struck down
>yo dude did you see the guy with snake hair he turned Ariplatones into stone that's why he froze

>a single dynasty
Of course, it could be Nubian dynasty propaganda, such is archaeology.

Yeah idk about that, because the greeks had dreds too!

>Suspecting the color of his skin to be black ink, Nobunaga had him strip from the waist up and made him scrub his skin.[12]
>Satisfied that he was black, Nobunaga seems to have taken an interest in him.
>Moreover, Nobunaga praised Yasuke's strength, describing it as that of ten normal men. Nobunaga's nephew gave him a sum of money at this first meeting.[14]
>In May, Yasuke went with Nobunaga to his castle at Azuchi, and popular rumors said he might be ennobled.[15]

Why is that guy covered in ink? What? You said that's his skin color? Bullshit... tell him to scrub himself! W-wait, not-uh... Get the fuck outta here! You're tellin me this guy has black skin and hes a warrior?! Thats metal as fuck! Give him a sword and some land hes my new captain!

Nobunaga was very weird.

Also sub saharans have nothing to do with nubians, thats like nords saying we wuz romans and shi... oh wait they actually do that ahahahahahaha

The Nubians did create a powerful Egyptian-influenced state called the Kingdom of Kush following the unification of the Nubian people under someone simply called "The Kushite" and it invaded Egypt and ruled as the Nubian Dynasty Pharaohs until the Assyrians kicked them back to Kush. But not before trading blows with the Assyrians in many wars.

It's greatest pharaoh was Taharqa. Who's even mentioned in the bible when Taharqa fought the Assyrians under Sennacherib before the walls of Jerusalem and won.

...

WE WUZ GREEK

Retarded: all
Plausible: Yakub because why the fuck not

it's good, but only if you fix the spelling of "thieves".

Queen Tayshawnda of the EBT Empire

So your saying afro samurai was based on a true story

>Yasuke arrived in Japan in 1579 in the service of the Italian JesuitAlessandro Valignano, who had been appointed the Visitor (inspector) of the Jesuit missions in theIndies(East Africa,SouthandEast Asia). He accompanied Valignano when the latter came to the capital area in March 1581 and caused something of a sensation. In one event, several people were crushed to death while clamouring to get a look at him. The Jesuits feared their church would be flattened but they managed to avert disaster.

Nobunaga feared the popularity of the black warrior

Blacks created every advanced civilization except one in Sub Saharan Africa, maybe they didn’t want to take the work home

>may have been

They’re so retarded. If it depicted a black person, why would the lips be painted black too?

The current meme around Classical/Historical circles is the depiction of an extremely diverse Roman Empire (African Roman citizens in Britain). They don't actually have any written or physical evidence to support theses claims at all. They just assume that people would freely move across the empire for whatever reason, when in actuality the majority of the Roman populations in Britain were families of soldiers or wealthy Italians given land to cultivate. The significant majority of depictions of wealthy Africans during the Greek/Roman periods almost come exclusively from Egypt. Of course some diversity is understandable for major trading centers. But in an economically irrelevant area such of Britannia being inhabited by Romanized Africans is far fetched.

I love that website.

Note that half the sources used by this article, especially the Japanese ones, are controversial at best. Wikipedia is a battlefield and small, isolated articles like that can be heavily ideologically driven.

At least some of the were actually black

which site?

realhistoryww

Yes but Yasuke's existence at the very least is something Japan has long accepted as fact. I mean, in a nation of manlets wouldn't you want a gigantic soldier that's over 6 ft?

Yakub is so fucking funny, I love it

Oh yeah, I’m not doubting a mocambiquan slave was given as gift to Oda, who might have taken a liking to him because he was a westaboo. But in that article you also see a lot of weird claims that people in this thread and elsewhere have taken as fact because it’s on a wiki. Most of it coming from the same source, that no one will ever check because it’s in moonrunes.

hahahahahahahaha why would you tell retarded shit like that.

You do realise they used him to play dress up right?
They put him in samurai armor and paraded him around as something to see. he wasnt an actual samurai. they used him as a pet.
jesus christ you guys retarded sometimes. Japs are some of the most racist people on this planet, always have been.

I was wondering when /pol/ was gonna show up.

You guys love to say this shit every time Yasuke is mentioned, but history isn't clear one way or another.

I fucking hate pol mate. I just cant see the other narrative about Yasuke, its just not logical given how Japan treats outsiders and how they acted over the course of history.
Never ever was he respected in anyway, no chance.

You are all like little babies. Watch this: youtube.com/watch?v=l0KPpmzsyGQ&t=2s
Paekche(founder of Japanese realm) was Black, Kemet, not Korean.

B-But I want to color your plainly stated historical facts with my worldview

>its just not logical
do not underestimate how crazy Oda Nobunaga was senpai

wew, turns out theyre making a full movie about him

deadline.com/2017/03/lionsgate-taps-highlander-creator-gregory-widen-to-script-film-on-first-black-samurai-1202049635/

And I want to color you with my semen but we cannot have everything we want ma cherie

Oh and there's english subs for those who cant speak frog.

RIP thread.

>forgetting about Mali, the Kongo, the Malabar coast, the kingdoms of Abyssinia, etc.
>forgetting that Nubians did actually have a short-lived dynasty of lower egypt
>falling this level of pure ideology

If rich whites spoke in AAVE it would be considered the pinnacle of the english language

Oda Nobunaga was so westaboo he was betrayed for it.

Dunno. 1 guy is a curiosity and probably won't have to deal with any sort of resentiments bvased on fears of immigration or sth. It's not like they were browsing /pol/ in old Japan so most of the racist ideas that circulate about blacks probably didn't exist for the Japanese. They might even have thought he was a weird sort of mutant and not part of a distinct race.

The Shogun of Harlem is a hereditary title.

youtube.com/watch?v=nq2WY_MD3Dk

>legit black history is rich and fascinating
>SJWs and wewuzzers pollute it with their drama and niggahotep bullshit

What is this board's obsession with edgy afro-centrist hot takes on history?

There's probably only a few thousands people in the world who actually take this shit seriously, it's like being obsessed with flat-earthers.

Can Veeky Forums not get enough of the Big Black Contentions?

Whenever I see someone claim that Cleopatra was black, I was to rip my fucking teeth out.

cause this is Veeky Forums and we live to meme

>i will defend to the death your right to say it
you're not defending shit to the death you little weakling
he would probably shit his pants at the first sign of danger

HE WUZ ALSO A GAY

There was 1 black samurai actually. There's even a picture of the nigga.

yeah, i saw a documentary about him too

>first black samurai
>implying there was more
Subtle rhetoric.

>queen nzinga
>queen nandi

niggers literally to retarded to paint real portraits of their queens

Lacquer does turn black through time due to oxidation

So are all paintings of historical figures retarded now?

In American black communities it's pretty mainstream, almost every African-American with an interest in history is a certified wewuzer.

Holy hell you guys weren't kidding
>For many centuries [whites] lived a barbaric life, surviving naked in caves and eating raw meat, but eventually they were drawn out of the caves by Moses who "taught them to wear clothes". Moses tried to civilize them, but eventually gave up and blew up 300 of the most troublesome of them with dynamite.[6] However, they had learned to use "tricknology" to usurp power and enslave the black population, bringing the first slaves to America.

If by afrocentrists you mean black Americans. The most plausible claim is that they are the descendants of the founding fathers bastard children. DNA confirms this.

cause they are funny

Blacks have no identity beyond corporate pop culture which tells them to be wewuzzers.

>BUT I KNOW THIS ONE BLACK GUY

Wow an outlier.

>Tricknology
Kek how many blacks actually believe this shit?

Envy.

Black Americans are the most envied ethnic group in the world for some reason, so people can't stop thinking about them and take every opportunity to take a shot at them.

Diese

Why is /pol/ so obsessed with the supposed prevalence of "afrocentrism"?

Not sure if the most, but among the best

after photography

what's happening in that art

I like researching indigenous archaeological artifacts and every time there is something like this

We wuz ninjas and shit

HOL UP

>presentism

kys

Nation of Islam is a cult that thrives of disenfranchised inner city blacks
They're uneducated, poor, usually from broken families, with no way of progressing upwards in society even if they wanted to. It's a perfect breeding ground for batshit cults.
Hell, Scientology is just as crazy with 10x the media attention and it's still going strong, and they target upper class whites who should know better. Cults are very good at sinking their hooks in

I've never understood the fascination with identifying with monarch scum.

I don't think anyone is envious of having skin the colour of shit.

Black Americans are pound for pound the most talked about ethnic group in the world. It stems from "something".

Honestly I hear this shit more often than you'd think. Heard a wewuz talking about how blacks had no genetic link to neanderthals, and I know this group that has a stall up most days talking about the black Israelites.

More info on that pic?