Are you sexually active?

Whata the time frame on being considered sexually active?
>tfw havent gotten laid in 4 years

>user, you've been saying "just" for about 5 minutes now. Please stop.

Lmaooo

A-are you an archaeologist?

Yes.

Haven't had sex since this past April

Haven't had meaningful sex since June 2014

>tfw feel like I will never find a meaningful relationship ever again

I DUNNO, WHY DON'T YOU ASK YOUR MOTHER, DOC????

I'm on a 2 years dry spell. the sad thing is I had a gf in the meanwhile, for almost a year. she never even gave me an handjob, she just rubbed it from my jeans.

"DELET THIS"
"wh....what?"
"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

Yes. I usually fuck around 3 times a week. I got lucky this past year and found 2 pretty chill FWBs who are too insecure to be full on sluts but to slutty to wanna be in a real relationship. They both know about eachother which is also cool, they just ask I keep it between them so I don't risk bringing an infection to our little love triangle. Its a decent little setup, but I have a feeling one of these days they're gonna get jealous
of eachother and I'll be back to square one. Hooray for being emotionally unavailable since 2014

>Literally get asked this by Chad MD last week.
>Uh, yes...ish
>He looks up
>What's "ish"
>W-when I was in a relationship...a while ago..
>Mfw

Long story short I got some Cialis samples. Anybody ever used it? Will I need to use it every time if I start?

Everytime I get asked this question I feel like the doctor knows I'm not and will see right through my lies so I admit the truth and say no.

No I'm passive aka the bottom

stop it you're hitting me right in the feels.

I'm married, so no

For eating pussy, the best instructional I've found is by (((Nina Hartley))). Yes, she's a jew, but I'll give credit where it's due. She understands the finer details of eating pussy, and if you follow her advice, you can become very good at it yourself.

For lasting longer, a lot of it is mental, and I'm going to recommend this short porn clip to get you in the right frame of mind.

> Leg shaking orgasms

pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=490708505

Watch it and mentally tell yourself that this is what you're going to do to the next girl you have sex with.

As for whisky dick, it's normal to not be able to get it up after drinking, so when you want to have sex, refuse to drink beforehand.

Sex is an athletic task especially for the man. Athletes don't drink before competition, and neither should you.

You might also want to supplement your diet 30-50mg of zinc per day to help with your testosterone.

Good luck.

I hate hearing that. Some day, I'd like to be married and have kids, but I don't want to be in a sexless marriage.

>yes ish

She's in a demanding nursing program and works crazy hours, so I guess its understandable. Lucky if we fuck once a week. She's done with school next May, something needs to change then or we'll have a serious problem. Can't do this much longer.

I hope you're communicating with her about your needs.

does masturbation count? if no then no, not sexed a female in 3-4 years

Every day, both by talk and physical contact. Nothing.

whisky dick is a thing, if you can't get it up when you drink then don't drink when you know sex might be happening

Not the user you replied to, but thanks this is actually helpful.

One thing I did to last longer was to mentally subtract 7 from 1,000 and see what number I can hit before I cum.

> eventually dropped me after I couldn't get it up after drinking with her for the 5th time

whiskey dick. that's your problem. either drink just enough for it to be enjoyable without getting drunk, or do it sober.

When I was 19 I had sex for the first time. I had sex with that girl a lot until I was 20.

Then when I was 21 I had sex with that girl's cousin. A lot. For a while.

When I was 22 I had sex with THAT girl's cousin (unrelated to the first?).

Then I had sex with that girl's sister.

Since then I haven't had sex. It's been 6 years.

A hot, muscular, doctor fucking the living shit out of me after an increasing sexual tension during an appointment is literally the fantasy that gets me to nut buckets

oh my.. doctor chad.. you're so bold

That's like.. woah...

>got ball cancer, had to see a lot of different doctors during treatment
>every one of them asked that question.
>had to explain that I'm a 24 year old virgin

If 2014 is the extent of your problems then you my friend are livin' the good life.

are you me?

If that works for you, great.

I think there are many solutions to this problem, and their effectiveness will depend on each individuals personality and beliefs.

What both of our solutions have in common is that we're actively using our minds to direct our bodies toward a desired outcome.

The mind is so important.

Well I just activated my almonds if you know what I mean.

I don't normally comment, but this is an art. Thanks user :)

You're welcome. I want everyone to have healthy sex life and good relations with the opposite sex.

I'm still learning myself.

Fuck you faggot, I'm 28. Had sex twice, first time the girl was crying and screaming at me to fuck her. Second time I was raped. What even IS meaningful sex? That rape was back in 2010 btw, all i've had since then is the occasional dick grab by drunk guys/girls whenever im dragged out to a bar.

>Cialis samples
user teach me. They actually work?

No and I never will be. I don't believe in sex before marriage, I can't stand women enough to marry one of them, and I'm not gay. Therefore, I will never have sex.

Can't wait until I get my wizard powers.

>got asked this when I went to get a prostate exam
>lied to the doc and said that I haven't has sex since 5 years ago even though I've been getting reamed since this summer
I'm gonna fucking die aren't I?

I haven't gotten laid since Christmas 2013.

If you find a solution, let us know.

As a man, I can't understand how women think it's OK to do this, and it seems to be a really common problem.

If anyone has insight into this, please chime in.

Raped in your ass or what?

Woke up to a junkie riding me. Added a little extra fear to my first ever STD test.

Tfw I am Chad MD but no gf.

I am
She's 5'4 and about 180lbs
She's not high test by any means but girls got retard strength
Sex is a power struggle for dominance and it keeps me going strong at the gym knowing if I slack off I'll become the bitch
Christ Latvian chicks are crazy

I haven't been to the doctor in 10 years to avoid this

>tfw pnemonia and no antibiotics last year

took like 2 montha to get over

What the fuck

>30 - 50 mg of zinc
You cheeky bastard, start with legit advice than recommend enough zinc to fuck up a guy.

What ever it takes goddamit

Looking forward to my bulk come November, this girl can cook

they are better than viagra, viagra gives me headaches

though, if you don't feel in the mood to fuck it will do nothing

How the fuck are you losing to a fat midget

Post your body?

what did he mean by this?

You getting STD tested Veeky Forums? It's free in my country and I just started getting HPV vaccination for free too

God damn right I am
>brofists doctor

What do you mean, that feel when?

I haven''t gotten real laid for 1.5 year, even I have girlfriend. She's on BC and it utterly destroyed her libido and always complain that my dick hurt her.

I told her to go to Dr and she won't because she's scared what DR would think of her.

He can handle it. His dick will be diamonds the next time he has sex.

My negro amigo

I have a 5 inch dick hard
If I learn to eat pussy and do the curved upwards fingering thing will girls care?

I'm not losing
She can put up a hell of a grapple though
Especially if she sits on my back when I'm tired

....Im now ....... ;)

Kek, I'm sorry user

Post the GOMAD doc pls, it makes me feel better

Don't worry about it, you're fucking yourself up. Just fuck

That's pathetic

Go to a site called thundersplace to learn how to make your dick bigger.

Also, girls who like being eaten out will absolutely appreciate your skill. They'll say things like:

- I love your tongue
- Oh my god, your tongue...
- You're so good...

Theyll probably like the fingering thing too, but I'm not skilled in that area, so I can't speak to that from experience.

Did she have a lot of brothers or is her dad a wrestler?

So user,
I'm going to need you to take your pants off. I need to see if your sperm count is good and then only way I can really tell is if I jerk your cock...uhhmm haha I mean penis.

Now hurry!
Before Dr. Pajeet comes back

No, unless you have an 8x6 you are subhuman to women.

>hears knock on door
>"that must be Dr Pajeet. He's early. Looks like he'll be the one taking your sperm count"

Sounds fun. Be careful not to hurt her. Even if she is tough, you're a lot bigger than her.

Jeff?

...

I've had sex once. Does that count?

Oh fuck, I read that wrong. She is 180. Wtf?

>had very drunk sex once when I was 17 for 10 minutes
>now 21 and have LITERALLY 0 female contact, maybe 60 seconds total per week
I wonder what it's like to speak to girls

i always ask "does masturbating count?"

i've gotten two no's and a yes. the yes was from the only female that asked.

I did the bar scene and fucked sluts. was kind of fun but I kind of stopped respecting women.
Since then I've grown to hate women. Like barely want to be around them. Sex is alright, but j/o is fine.
I thought it was just the groups of people I hung out with, that I hated those girls. Stated working in an office and hate women more than ever. they barely do work, talk so fucking loud about useless shit and get praised all fucking day for doing nothing. A girl programmer wrote literally 10 lines of code (which I ended up fixing because it was garbage fucking code) while the producer told her what a good job shes doing during the scrum meeting. Fucking diversity hire useless cunt.
I live with 2 girls, one of whom I've slept with a bunch. I don't know if Im just bored of her or bored of sex but I can't stand women to actually bother trying to fuck them. Unfortunately not gay.

Yes. I fuck my gf from behind while drinking flavored sodas every day.

>I'm about to be *unzips dick*

oh boy this post, here's your (you), can you pretend this post has an image of a guy wearing a fedora for me?

Give him sex. He needs it.

Kek'd

Not since May

>21
>go for physical
>doctor asks if i am sexual active
>panic
>say yes
>she asks how many partners
>have to make up a story and say just one
>asks if i am in a relationship
>say no i broke up with the theoretical girl i slept with a few months ago
>recommends i get an HIV test along with my bloodwork
>just say yes because i want to get out of there
>hoping i get a call with my results to tell me if i have enough vitamins and shit
>they just call and say the test came back negative and hang up

Godamnit, theirs still a bruise from when they took my blood.

I fuck my onahole 3-5 times a day if that counts.

>Are you sexually active?
>heh... ask your nurse
>he leaves and comes back
>she said no

Fugged a high test latina tn, DD titties and bretty good booty for someone who doensn't train for reals.

Otherwise I am supposed to go to this food and wine fest with this gorgeous half jap with great tits this weekend. Date today with her went pretty well.

Yeah that's right, I went on a date with an 8 during the day and fugged a 7 tn.

I just wish I knew what it was like to have meaningful sex. I've never had a meaningful relationship but I attract good looking broads.
I strike out too, obviously. We all do.

If you guys are curious:
White male
Hazel Eyes
Brown hair
6ft+
200lbs @15-20% body fat
Jawline is alright, cheek bones are close to top tier.

I haven't had sex in a year and three months. What is their definition of "sexually active"?