So i'm in college with very few friends are little self confidence and within the last few months I've made great strides at improving wardrobe, fitness and trying to be more outgoing, but this is always crippling.
I'll give some examples: When I was at a friends grad party at the end of high school with people who i all knew well and had common interests with, they put on some music and everyone started dancing, and i instantly felt like i'd rather be anywhere else on the planet. I don't listen to pop music (bc i made the terrible life choice of being a metal fan), but its not like an angry 12 year old who hates it, but i just felt like all my friends suddenly left me behind for a world i couldnt see myself in, even though it was just fucking music and dancing.
then college comes around and during welcome im basically overwhelmed with this feeling 24/7 and i finish out the year with 2 new friends, losing contact with most of my old ones who go there ( i go to a big college), not going to a single party and consuming no alcohol and now i really dont with other people. at least i got exceptional grades.
i think this stems from me being bullied in elementary school for being a bit of a no it all and a slight late bloomer to the whole "you need to impress people" thing. and when i got it i focused on just trying not to be targeted. I was also a boy scout, and pre teens are merciless on that shit. I also had a 3 1/2 relationship with a 8.75/10 in high school but we never had sex bc she was kinda weird and having sex wasnt her first priority and she had really strict immigrant parents.
And within the past six months I've mad some improvements to myself and go to two clubs now, i still feel like im on guard against other people and that theres something about me that would prevent me from being admirable to them. any advice?
I'm worse off than you buddy. Right now I'm a junior in college and I basically had no friends the entire time, max 1 study group during sophomore year but we never hanged out.
I've never gone to ANY sort of party EVER. NEVER gotten drunk while at college, too scared to buy alcohol on my own (even though I'm 21) and the only thing I have to fill my boredom is food. Especially take out during weekends and various chips like Cheez-its, Cheetos, Doritos, and Lays.
Do you have any tips on making friends? I also have social anxiety, I can't join any clubs because I don't know any. I'm trapped on a island.
Sebastian Wilson
can you elaborate on the island part?
Jaxon Gray
I'll do it for him.
Basically he feels apart from the rest of the civilized world in his own secluded space. Problem is, he's not trapped there, he just thinks he is. He sees a sea liner pass and instead of waving his arms to gain their attention he buries himself in the sand. The liner represents passage to better places filled with people on their journey.
Such is the fear that somebody with social anxiety faces, but everybody finds their own way to cope, and the strong find their way out.
Mason Adams
wait, i thought he was being literal
Levi Rivera
If he was trapped on an island I think browsing Veeky Forums would be far down on his to-do list
Parker Martinez
no, like his college is located on an island. sounds pretty stupid now that im saying it
Elijah Morgan
He might have been talking about Survivor. I don't know what time of year they shoot but probably all year since it's always warm on the islands.
Levi Wilson
Senior in college here. Made 4 friends the entire time (people i hang out with outside of college). They're all losers too. Not in a bad way, I love them, but networking with them is worthless cause they are in the same place as me. I am the same way OP, I'm very timid and don't like being around people so much. Over time i generally accept this, then try to change, then accept it, then try to change, etc. Will be monitoring this thread to see if any experienced anons can offer any life pointers
