WWWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!

WWWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!

Alright, Veeky Forums, what did you do this time?

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Licking the bike seats.

>not sniffing the bike seats for all the smellz

some dude was sqauting in the curl rack and he got lippy with me when I confronted him about it, so I accidentally pulled down one side of the bar when he was trying to come up.

you got me, i forgot to put down my deadlift coaster. i guess that's another pizza penalty for me!

Not tasting them to absorb the essense into your soul.

Wore my powdered wig and court-gown to the gym again

Accidentally deadlifted the squat bar

>Be Planet Fitness employee
>Pizza Day!
>Fatty comes waddling in. No doubt he's had this day marked on his calendar
>Offer the porkster a piping-hot slice
>He waves it off dismissively, "No thanks, I came here to lose weight" and heads for the treadmill
>Entire gym comes screeching to a halt
>Customers stand in shock as a collective revelation washes over them
>A glob of half-chewed meat lover's supreme falls out of a man's agape mouth as he looks down at the slice of pizza in disgust and mutters aloud, "Oh my god... Why... Why am I eating PIZZA at a GYM?"
>Another pipes up, "Yeah! If this place is supposed to encourage a fit and healthy lifestyle, why are they constantly tempting us with pizza and candy?! We have enough trouble resisting fatty foods as it is!"
>A woman in the PF Express™ area wails, "They're trying to keep us from losing weight and gaining muscle! They want us coming back for as long as possible! This is a scam!"
>The jig is up! The sheep have awoken and they want blood!
>Angry mob of customers begin to swarm the front desk
>Scramble for the lunk alarm
>The deafening WWWWWHHHRRRRR!! causes everyone to pause and hold their ears
>Planet Fitness Emergency Customer Retention Squads in yellow fatigues and purple body armor suddenly rappel from the roof and pacify the mob with grenades full of irresistible calzone filling and shotguns spraying chocolate chips
>The fatties are powerless to resist
>March over to the fat fuck who started the whole thing
>He's choking ashamed sobs between fistfulls of calzone and chocolate
>"Why?" he sputters, "What kind of gym tries to keep people fat?"
>Grin sadistically and shove a slice of pizza in his disgusting, greasy mouth
>"We're not a gym. We're Planet Fitness."

best greentext İ've seen on Veeky Forums in a long time
well done sir