Go to gym at 11pm

>squat rack turned off
what?

>5am
>We have a community towel and they forgot to wash it last night
>Water fountain is out of order and I wanted to sip BCAA between reps
>Plate boy isnt even in until 8am
>My gym bae doesnt come by until 7am
>Banned from the free weight section for using 5lb dumbbells for forearms
>escalator to the cardio section isnt working and I didnt want to walk

Honestly fuck this shit

bazooka

fuckin a

Fug

Kek

enough with the greentext I need some advice... deadlift licence doesn't come until next week but I've rented 4 plates until sunday, is there any way to fake one or at least make full use of my monthly plate allowance?

i am immune via immunity cat which negates your previous negation

mods pls no ban

fk

>The God-Worlds tested us upon lands that alter the universe and welcome all.
>The weak were destroyed but the strong remained.
>We who are left grew strong and rebuilt all life and things
>All love and worshp to the God-Worlds.

>forgot chips for the bar dispenser at home

Ask the guy from the department of exercise if ultra low rack pulls are OK and drop a 50 on the floor nonchalantly. If he keeps the bill you're good, if he hands it back you're screwed

>88 miles away
wew

fk

Do you guys have a gym's form police? Saw some guy get a ticket for breaking form on his last rep. Now I'm afraid to go for that last one

eat shit faggot

What? You think gyms just leave them on all night? Do you want them to be more expensive than they already are?

Didn't make my macro quotas today so only get to do half reps :^[

>Finish my workout and find the gyms community protein shaker wasn't cleaned
>have to put my shake over the top of the old one
>last person had peanut butter in there
Kill me

>deadlift license still hasn't come yet
>no response form the DNG yet

mom pls

She can't die twice ;_;

Jokes on you my mother died in 2005

KEK

>forgot to tip my spotter yesterday

it will be fine if i just tip him double today right guys?

Thirsty as fuck

clever girl

>put quarters into squat rack
>Nothing happens
>It's switched off
>Switch it back on
>Makes mechanical noises and smoke starts coming out
>Receptionist runs to shut it off
>Sternly looks at me
>Puts her hand out
>Give her a $20
>She walks back to the reception area
>Quietly sneak out the back door.

Bamboozled again

you can just tip him the usual way but without saying no homo. It makes them feel special and will make up for your mistake.

>tfw got suspended from lifting until I regain mandatory 40% body fat.

Any tips how to get fat really quickly?

no pls

thanbksdasdasd

Enough memes, what is this, /r9k/?
Let's get serious
>try to turn treadmill on
>won't
>figure it's unplugged
>it's not
>what the hell?
>try to ask one of the ladies there for help
>she ignores me
>start sweating
>people look at me
>start walking in place to pretend like the machine is on
>one of the ladies come to me
>"How's the workout going?"
>sees me walking on a dead treadmill
>haha
>literally run off towards the locker room and sit in there for 30 minutes before leaving out the side entrance

Every fucking time

Wish this was real

You can't just undo protection

tfw mother is already dead so I'm immune to these posts

fuck

First time offence is a warning, 2nd is 'form school', 3rd and after is a ticket calculated on weight and height.

Immunity cat please help.

:/

GOMAD

What was it?

stop

>tfw you forgot your coin purse at home and you have to ask chad and stacy for money.

bump

lets just say its good you didn't see it hahah

"reply or your mother will die tonight" kinda thing

>go to gym
>whoever used the plates last hasn't recharged them
>have to use manuals

>Canadian
>Free weights can only be used before dawn and after dusk as to not offend our muslim overlords
>tfw given 100 lashes and a 3 week gym suspension for not praising allah between sets

>go to gym with american friend
>All automatic barbells are in use
>mfw he can't stick shift squat
The dumbass released the clutch before he hit full depth, stalled out at a half squat.

Kek'd

>working out with my British friend
>has to deadlift facing Mecca
>runs on the wrong side of the treadmill
>doesn't take his hat off for the national anthem
>doesn't tip anybody
>refuses to accept the complimentary .357 Magnum on our way out

It was humiliating.

Anyone else here find it frustrating they have to do their workout super early to avoid going over the gym's allocated total weight x reps allowance?

Last time I went after work, all the reps had already been used and I had to do bodyweight exercises.

>running on the treadmill
>fucking sucks running in place means you get absolutely no air flow
>end up tripping over my cape and flying into the machine behind me

I wish it was an cape of invisibility so it could cover my shame ;_;

What model lifting cloak do you have user? I have the LX4, it was a bit pricey but it's made with premium gains-goblin repelling material, and has extra length for when i need to hide myself from females.

>do my DL and feel great
>load up slightly more than 4pl8
>as soon as I'm finished gym security comes over
>asks for my lifting license
>it only is valid up until 4pl8
>this is my 3rd offence and they revoke my license
>I am only allowed to go up to 1pl8 for the next month until I can reapply for a new license
>found out today I need to be 21y old with a minimum of 3y experience in the gym + a spotter with a DL over 4pl8 to get accepted

I will forever be stuck at this plateau

>be me doing heavy Squats
>unrack it
>go down below parallel
>hear a loud noise
>gym lifeguard has sounded the lunk alarm
>he is sprinting in my direction
>I am almost back up but he still grabs me and trys to support me
>we rack it together
>he looks at me and wipes the sweat off his forehead
>ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL YOURSELF KIDDO ?
>he explains that I shouldnt lift more than 1pl8 and stop when I am still well above parallel
>I tip him and leave the gym

only gonna be doing legpress from here on out I guess

...

How much do you guys normally pay for a spotter?

Including tip of course

4 scoops of whey isolate

Ten bucks a rep. Then 20% of total for the tip. Fucking LA Fitness man...

>go to gym
>pic related comes up to me and shouts "NOT FIT RELATED NOW FUCK OFF" from the top of his lungs

>have to pay the spotter $2 a rep
>sounds_like_a_bargain.jpg
>do 3x5 bench at 75 kg
>spotter tells me that will be $57.50
>didn't read the fine print
>surcharge of 50 cents for every kg added to the bar
>seriously pissed off now
>only tip him 35%

>mandatory creatine testing next week
>know I'm gonna piss hot
>already on probation with the gym

Fuck guys how do I beat this? I can't afford to fail this

bribe the gym inspector dude, works like a charm

Mine is a real hardass though. I saw him tear up an inner circle members punch card because he offered him a spot and the inspector thought it was a bribe.

>doing my squats
>squat racks start to update
>can't drop the bar or my gains will crash

>to busy to go to the gym so send my representative
>An hour later get a phone call
My gym membership has been revoked
>Ask why
>representative stepped on a needle in the locker room and went full roid rage
>Destroyed a bunch equipment by throwing them around screaming "lightweight baby!"
>Getting billed for damages and for not getting him vaccinated
>He had to be put down
>Get put on a list
>Can't adopt another one at the CrossFit center because of negligence
>have to actually go workout now

not taking any chances

>have to eat a shortstack
dont mind if i do

have you not been to Europe? You have to pay to use shit like public bathrooms and gyms. Some places turn them off at night to save electricity.

>forgot to book my usual squat rack
>have to pay a deposit to use another one
>i sign in for 15 minutes
>sign out after 17 minutes
>lose deposit

Reply

god dammit

>with premium gains-goblin repelling material
this shit is cringe even if said ironically, you know that right

>squat rack turned off

>2.5 charge to use squat rack

What are you fucking tards on about? How do you turn a metal bar and 20kg weights off? Why are you paying to use the squat rack if you already have a membership? Do they charge you per plate used too?

>His gym uses plates

You're never gonna make it, kid

Oh

just get 4chanX and you can see deleted posts.