Tfw gfs period is late

If shitty primary birth control, why no plan b pill? Get with modern science breh.

>Thinking pre-cum wont get her prego
>mfw

You must be underage

Dubs of truth boi.

Rip OP

Better start learning dad jokes now

probably doesnt work though

>next period
you do know that menstruation stops during pregnancy, right? And those 3 things alone might just get user a fucked up disabled baby that he'll have to care for the rest of his (or the baby's) life, whichever is shorter.

I'm a female and I saved this image. Good to know.

Is she an okay person though? This happened to a friend of mine right out of college but they turned out okay.

Good luck user

I play rusky roulette with sloots. I will be using if needed. Thanks desu

>implying it isn't easier to have an accidental death with a disabled baby than a normal baby

she is an awsome girl but still, i'm not finished uni yet and havent started my career

Fuck you, im a male btw

it's not too late to kill her OP. two birds with one stone

You must be retarded. Not op btw

Dad here. Can confirm Dad jokes should be learned. I have a 9 year old boy who is a boss and making Dad jokes is one of the best bits of being a Dad.

How old are you people here anyway, this is an 18+ board, jfc. Have some free education: plannedparenthood.org/learn/morning-after-pill-emergency-contraception

idiot

Please link proof that precum contains actual sperm. Please. Do it faggot

I'm guessing it's not the next day/morning for this guy so this wouldn't work.

Probably not but I posted it more for the sake of the others even considering herbs and abortion teas. OP will probably luck out but if not, hopefully he'll have himself an an abortion-gifting Christmas before it wrecks their lives. And learn to wrap his peter next time.

Fucked my gf's menstruating pussy yesterday. It was a fucking mess but it felt good.

Only downside is the iron-y smell of blood. Cock doesn't mind though.

>Tfw can't stand the smell

FUCK THIS RETARDED SHIT, THIS IS THE ONLY THING THAT WORKS

FALLLLLCOOOONNN PUUNNNNNCHHHUU

Welcome to fatherdom, bruh. It's great

mirin pragmatism

Heres what you do, go for a "hike" with the girl.

Give her a very heavy backpack to carry up an incline. Trip her a few times so she falls down. She will have a miscarriage due to all the stress on her pelvis

Worked for me

Good for you bro, congratulations!

mfw you don't give her plan b

Pre-cum MIGHT contain semen, especially if you've been stop-starting to delay your ejaculation. It's also possible to get a girl pregnant by shooting it near or around the vagina, or by fingering her after you cum if you got some droplets on your hands. Not probable, but possible.

My gfs period was 3 weeks late last time. We took two tests, both negative, and the very next day she got her period.

HOW late? Sometimes it just is, could be caused by stress or a change in diet or any number of things. My ex's cycle was two weeks late once. Gave me a goddamn scare, but turned out to be nothing.

>go for a "hike" with the girl

Lol why do you losers keep dating girls you couldn't imagine impregnating? That is LITERALLY the only reason to date a girl you faggots.

Yfw it's still possible to get her pregnant

Also op, don't try to self abort, if you can't raise a kid get a real abortion, unless you want a retarded baby.

>gf

Why do you niggas need one, I only need the sex...

And stop having unprotected sex you fag

>tfw you will be raising your gf's son. Likely to come out black

When my gf is stressed about being pregnant her period will come several days late.

Try having sex with her, help her relax loosen her up.

periods can be late by a number of reasons.

>gf jokingly lies about being pregnant
>i actually think she's pregnant
>tell her she needs to get an abortion asap
>says she's not going to
>later she says she was joking she's not preggo
>i throw her off my bed
>tell her to gtfo my house and never come back
>she looks at me with a look of confusion
>calls me a terrible human being

women are so self absorbed

just make her drink lots of fresh parsley and ginger tea, also have her take megadoses of vitamin c. If it's only a couple days late it should make a late period come.

It's so unlikely it isn't worth considering.

Most women take weeks trying to get pregnant with full penetration and multiple cream pies a day.

Fashionably?

Kek
>next period
Do people not know how pregnancy works ?

...

Ffs it was a fucking joke and you acted like a child

no she acted like a dumbass by joking about something very serious and she got the dumbass treatment

>mfw you think you're alpha

Do a home pregnancy test

Seems like she took it too far m9. I'd do the same, just goes to show that she is a crazy bitch for even trying to make that into a joke

>ey love i'm dying
>aww fukken hell m8
>nah it's all good brah it was a joke ;^)

Did she scare you? :(

I had a child without even cumming this is correct

yeah i thought my life was ruined, the girl is 5'1 and i don't want manlet kids

>the girl is 5'1 and i don't want manlet kids
Never change Veeky Forums

Idiot who jokes about being pregnant in the first place

...

>Losers
Ask Arnold

"precum can get you pregnant" is a myth perpetuated by the pro-abstinence conservative christian right

The real trouble of pulling out is that unless you have masterful control over your orgasm it can be fucking HARD to pull out in time.

You'll have a black babby

Falcon punch time.

Pennyroyal tea op

Or just an abortion

Medfag here, this guy doesn't know Shit. It's RARE to have a baby with precum, but Shit can happen

What are the chances doc? I have 3 fwb and dont wrap cause it kills my dick feel gains

Cheekie pls go

Chances are very small, of course, but a way to think about it is that as long as your cock is anywhere near her cunt and you're borth fertile, pregnancy can happen. Extreme, but not untrue. She needs to be ovulating and you need to emit sperm, but perfect confidence in the "pull out game" is why we have so much teen pregnancy.

>mfw dicklets cant time when they orgasm
lmao when will they learn

Women - Not even once

Mfw my gf is on her period and being a cunt
>I'm nate

>what is abortion

...

Explain this to me

A female friend of mine and her husband have been trying for a kid for over a year now. Multiple creampies perday and she isn't pregnant. Many such cases.

Why is it that people think one accidental didn't pull out moment is instant pregnancy?

How the fuck does this shit work?

Because fertility varies wildly between individuals. Some men have weak swimmers. Some women have wombs that can barely sustain the life of a fetus. Hell, some people are fertile but have trouble conceiving together because the acidity of her specific uterus kills his particular sperm type. It's all a lottery, and all it takes is one lucky/unlucky draw to knock a girl up.

Is it weird for a guy to have baby fever?

I've had this ridiculous urge to impregnate women for the last few weeks.

Is biology bruh

I was in the same situation than you but she just had her period moments ago.

>Tfw

It's one the biological imperatives, so no. Hell, it's probably the reason why sex feels so good in the first place.

To you and anyone else recommending this or pennyroyal or any other herbal stuff. I tried it all.

>creampie ex
>she was ovulating
>takes plan B next day
>misses period
>positive preg test
>immediately go over and megadose her with vitamin C.
>buy dong quai, black cohosh, fresh parsley, cinnamon, etc

>shove parsley in her vag, make her drink parsley tea, she takes cinnamon, vit c, and all the other shit on max dose levels every few hours....for a week

>nothing happens. Nothing at all

Don't waste your time or stress it. Buy misoprostol/cytotec and be done with it.

>shove parsley in her vag

It's a thing. I did a lot of reading. It's supposed to soften the cervix and change ph or something. I threw everything in the herbal arsenal with no result.

Misoprostol is like 50-60 bucks online, if you look.

>tfw gf started a birth control and her period has been going on for 3 weeks now
Fucking kill me. Apparently this is normal though unless it goes on for a whole month, so I guess I'll see if she needs to go to doctor in a week

The pill can do crazy shit to a girl. My last fuckbuddy had an IUD in which was a pretty sweet deal except that she'd have these occasional discharges that smelt like rust.

>2016
>Not using a condom

You deserve it faggot.

>long time GF
>she's on the pill since we met
>fuck with condom for 2 months tops
>both dont like the feel
>fuck without for the rest of the relationship
>she uses antibiotics a few times during relationship
>doc say should be fine in combination with pill
>few years later
>one of her friends got preggo while on the pill because the antibiotics cancelled the effect
>mfw I have no face

Dodged a fucking bullet m8s. Next time she needs antibiotics, no sex.
Fucking wew

>yfw this happens but you always use condoms

Is that what you guys did? Or are you a dad right now?

Tell Tyrone congratulations

I'm already a dad. But that's what I did, and it was effective. The herb nukes for a week failed (think it was 10 days).

Misoprostol did the trick within an hour.

Her period came 2 weeks later than normal.

Shove like 4 tablets of misoprostol up the vag, eat a light meal, take some Tylenol or whatever you have for pain, turn on a movie and a heating pad, problem solved.

Important to note about Plan B pill and fatties:

It’s almost useless: Dr. Anna Glasier noted in 2011 (“Contraception”) that women with a BMI over 30 who take Plan B have a 400% higher failure rate than women of normal weight.

Fuuuuuuuu

But women at that BMI also have higher rates of infertility, too.

>HURF DURF LETS HAVE UNPROTECTED SEx
>OMG PRUGNUNT??? WHYYY? ):