Is it possible to not embarrass yourself the first time you have sex?

Is it possible to not embarrass yourself the first time you have sex?

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nope.

Not really.

Just laugh it off though you are supposed to be having fun. No matter what happens just smile and explore and well...have fun!

nope

Nope.

If you go through the whole thing without shooting off early or losing your erection due to nerves or hurting her or clumsily falling off the bed or farting, and if you somehow give her an orgasm or two, you'll sober up in the morning and have to face the fact that you lost your virginity to a seacow so ugly you can't brag to your friends.

Plus you'll feel awkward that you lost it at 29 and can be neither Chad nor wizard.

Nope
Just get an easy girl and tell her it was your first time AFTER you fug dont set your mind to hide it it will be worse
If she asks just tell her it is your first and play along joke with it
Remember alpha doesn't care
"I was saving it for marriage but I could not just pass with a girl like you"
Be chill all the time and believe in every piece of bullshit that comes out of your mout

Not OP, but these replies are honestly making me feel so much better about my shitty 1st (and only so far) time.
Thanks bruhs

First time is always bad, don't try to make it special

Lose it to a fat chick at a party or something, just get it over with

Then when you're ready, read Sex God Method and become the master of orgasms

Ask ur mom

>tfw going to lose my virginity to my oneitis tomorrow
>tfw 22 so there's no reason she would believe I'm a virgin, especially since she's 25 and probably haven't sexed a guy without thousands of intercourses behind him for years

Should I just cancel on her?