Are all those muscles actually good for anything?

Are all those muscles actually good for anything?

Who would win?

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>labrador/golden retriever
I win
>pitbull/doberman/rottweiler
Dog wins

Pitbull weigh like 35-50 lbs. i'm more afraid of 200+ lbs mastiffs desu

Well considering I'm carrying most of the time, me.

A 50lb dog is pretty small, i'd fuck that thing up. But the dogs SOG uses in my agency are not dogs...they're war machines.

Nah, no weapons. You get what's pictured.

Ho a dog is chewing on my leg while I'M EATING ITS FUCKING NECK.

im 600 lbs and so fat and round that he cant even bite me

checkmate atheists

Jesus I'm muscle fat and since I stopped working out more than ever just fat fat and I would still win. With a broken hand, leg, or whatever. We humans are the apex predators of the land for a god damn reason. No I don't think I can beat a gorilla or bear but in the amount of time I have spent outside I have never EVER gotten into a fight with a dog where I didn't god damn come out on top. I may have gotten hurt but in the end it wasn't me running away.

I'll give up one of my forearms and rip its eyes out desu I'm not scared of your little challenge op and desu I'm not scared of anything
My name is Jason blaha and I approve this shitpost

do i have to smile

those dogs aren't trained to attack legs

you get to

Have you ever been in a fight with an attack dog?

Protip:
If a dog ever bites your arm, do the counterintuitive thing and hold them close.
Normally they shake their heads a lot and cause rips but if you can keep them tightly against your own body, they won't do much more damage than they already have.

Attack dogs are taught to lunge at their target from the waiste up. Normally a dog hesitates, tests the target, then nips or attempts a lunge. Their usually predictable attack pattern would actually make them easier to deal with than a feral. Even if they aren't as aggressive as their trained counterparts ferals are nature taught hunters. In a fight in nature it isn't about who's been better trained it is and always has been who's bigger/smarter and in what proportions.

>Normally a dog hesitates
not an attack dog
they don't even care if you shoot at them

It would be intresting at least. I guess it would all boil down to if I manage to kick the dog in the head before the dog locks its jaw round my neck. Probably easier said than done but I'm pretty sure a good kick would at least break the dogs jaw, if not cause necksnap or braindamage.

I'll take the bait. Do you usually get in fights with dogs?

thats because dogs have no concept of a gun or the fact that one in a humans hands is to be avoided.

Yeah, he meant that attack dogs are easier to predict because they're usually trained like grapple torpedoes. They just run, jump, and try to hold you until a human comes to handle you.

They don't care if you try to punch or kick them either

When's the last time you've seen someone just fucking wailing on a dog while the dog tries to bite and hold their arm, as opposed to trying to get away like every dog attack video? People never fight back.

Like, how the fuck do constricting snakes kill people? If you start fucking eating it, literally biting it in half, what's it going to do?

Animals are fags.

If there's just an attack dog it's easy af, it's the human that is usually with him that will incapacitate you, the dog is just to scare you / slow you down.

>Biting through nearly a foot in diameter of scale and muscle

>they won't do much more damage than they already have
enjoy your crushed forearm

>animals are fags

...

>mfw picturing some retard trying to bite a 30 foot, 500lbs anaconda.

>Like, how the fuck do constricting snakes kill people? If you start fucking eating it, literally biting it in half, what's it going to do?

the image I'm getting oh god

Kick dog in neck. Stomp. Over.

>an attack dog, trained to attack vital parts
>me, a uni student who likes lifting and never been in a real fight

guess if I had any weapons, I could hit it in the face or something. I knew a guy who got attacked by three attack dogs who got away from their idiot master. They chased him through a forest and bit his leg but he constantly hit them on their heads with a stick to get away.

He survived even tho he was put to the hospital for 4 months or so.

It was three dogs, feeling like in a pack or something and the guy was overweight, never trained to fight. I think I could get away somehow from one.

>run away
that's not the question, you gotta fight it

>When's the last time you've seen someone just fucking wailing on a dog while the dog tries to bite and hold their arm, as opposed to trying to get away like every dog attack video? People never fight back.

This. I'd love to see someone square up with a dog and go on the offensive and start punching kicking, going for the eyes, etc. You see people running away as if they're going to outrun a fucking dog. May as well turn around and find out if you're on the strongside of thousands of years of evolution.

Wolves hunt in pack. single dog I not a treat for normal ppl (not including kids, eldery, grills)

If I see the dog coming I'll brace myself.
Those cunts can only really hurt you if you're on the ground.
If you plant your feet firmly on the ground and don't let it take you down you can just punch its face repeatedly.
However if doggo comes from behind I am royally fucked.

>go on the offensive and start punching kicking, going for the eyes, etc
Won't work. A canid's vulnerable points are the lower neck and ventral pelvis. Going after the face is begging to get fucked up.

then I don't know. kicking it might be the best, if I get to keep my shoes on. it can hurt, especially if you get to kick it where it really hurts.

Fuck should I know, I have no experience in dog killing, dammit. how is this fit related again?

> tough guys

It doesn't matter how big and bad you think you are.

its about your mind set, do you act? or do you freeze? You freeze your gonna get fucked up. Some people act, some people freeze.

> source, I have a 110 lb male german shepherd that I've literally fought

I am confident any healthy human male would win a *fight* with an attack dog.

dogs only have 1 dangerous part of their body. their jaw/teeth. humans can make use of their legs, arms, hands, fingers etc. gouge at the dogs eyes, kick it as hard as you can when it's down, strangle it out. a human could do severe damage to a dog I imagine.

I didn't specify where to hit the dog. Punches in bunches, my man. Head body head, there's no ref so go for the scrote with some serious kicks. If it tries to bite you, bite it back. Go fucking full survival mode. Anything is better than running away.

I fought a dog before, it attacked my dog on the street. Might have been different if he was biting at me but after I kicked it hard in the throat it decided to gtfo pretty quickyl and reevalute his decision. They arent as tough I think and if you kick/punch them hard in the right place they will decide to back off. They dont want to get hurt as well.

Doggo as no eyes, doggo thinks it's night and sleep, doggo loose fight.

won't work? how would that not work? if the dog has its eyes gouged out of its skull it can't do a damn thing. I under stand you could get fucked up getting your hands to its eyes but for fucks sake.

Given that I'm not much heavier than an attack dog on the larger side, I'd probably lose by getting over powered.
Also I'm a huge pussy, so there's that.

You gotta be Veeky Forums to fight feral doggos senpai

You realise people have fought and beaten bears right?
Humans are pretty capable in a fight, we're smart.

what kind of dog?

Cont'
your a fucking human, you have hands.
Grab the prick by its throat and throttle the fucking thing.

You achieve two things by doing this, you have total control of the only dangerous part of the dog and you can kill the fucker in this manner.

Any dog that has ever bitten me I would get infront of it after, wave my hand over its head and when it looks up take it by the throat, slam it on its back and climb on top and just choke the shit out of them for several seconds, then get up and put my foot on their neck.

Congratulations, that dog will never, ever bite you again

Source: Farm boy who isn't scared of a bitch ass K9

Well, atleast your honest

Rottweiler

>You freeze your gonna get fucked up.
>Freeze
This happens to people?
Thought it was a movie thing.

humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason. we can use our brains to outsmart and out think a dog. attack dogs are trained to attack roughly torso and higher. but a human can use reasoning to target eyes, ribs, testicles, throat, etc etc.

It is far more real than internet tough guys like to admit.

Fight, flight, or freeze

I hope VR stuff progresses fast enough to make a game where you can virtually fight animals.

I want to see what happens if you try to strangle a giraffe

More people freeze than actually do anything, they literally just panic.

It has a lot to do with the personality, other shit. Ever been attacked by a dog? if you have your less likely to freeze. Same goes for every life experience ever, kinda like how soldiers make good cops in gun fights (generally)

This is america faggot, we always carry

youtube.com/watch?v=HgEkDWRb9IM
take a look at the fight or flight response in action, one guy freezes

A fucking stickman?

>I roll to pin

Well I wanted to get an accurate representation of Veeky Forums so

Because if you don't it's animal abuse.

if this was in 'Merica that thing would be swiss cheese

I once pissed on my cousin rottweiler while drunk (can't stand this cunt). Bastard literaly shitted itself and then ran to hide in the backyard lmao

Doesn't make any sense evolutionarily, "Oh shit it's a tiger, let me just stand here and get eaten!"

Kek

well yeah but we haven't had that problem for thousands of years. plenty of folks waiting to be weeded out

Im pretty sure its like a mini adrenaline overdose. Like mentally fainting

It doesn't have to make sense dude.
Ever gotten in a fight with someone who has never been in a fight before?

They see that arm go back and they freeze and just stare right into the punch.

me of course

lmao 50 lbs thats nothing

there are cases where men have killed bears, wolves and other large predators with their bare hands. I am strong, smart and most importantly not a cuck who is afraid of tiny dogs. I could take that dog maybe even without a single scratch

police dog of my neighbor is a different story. huge shepherd. for some reason he really likes me and always jumps on me in an attempt to lick my face, ruining my shirt with his dirty paws. I am still confident I would win but it would be a rough fight

Risking an infected bite I would try and get control of its neck and head. Dog would be fucked if that happened.

Tigers are scary dude

Owlmen are scary, some people just aren't capable of thinking "fuck, okay, let me grab this piece of metal here on the ground"

My first fight ever I honestly was afraid of injuring my opponennt because I was taller, heavier, stronger and had 2y boxing experience while he had no idea what he was doing. I just decided to talk him down instead and block his attempts but I felt kinda weird in the moment. It also felt so weird to fight without having the wrist support from the bandages/gloves that is the feeling I remember the most I felt worried that I might fuck up my wrist when I swing full force.

>drops to the floor
I would be beating the living piss out of that thing.
One time after watching a scary movie (I really can't fucking handle scary movies) a friend of mine thought it'd be funny to try and scare me.
He made a loud sound and grabbed my shoulder and I elbowed his nose in reflex.
Similar things have happened before.
Once kicked down a door because someone locked it behind me and I didn't know if they knew.
I lose my shit when I'm scared, can't imagine someone just dropping down to the ground.

Why is there a thread about fighting dogs?

Dogs are bros. Would never hurt one desu.

My first "fight" my reflex was to punch him in the jaw as hard as I could.
Wasn't even a real fight, guy just wanted trouble and came at me agressively.
I remember being fucking shocked at what I'd done though.

No one wants to fight dogs, but some dogs want to fight you.

>you're on the strongside of thousands of years of evolution.

except what makes us top predators are tactics, technology and group hunting
fucking retards

This

There's a section of the Royal Marines commando course where you get taught about dealing with dogs.

The number one thing is shoot the fucker from far away. Failing that, stab wildly at the underbelly.

If you're truly fucked, let it bite you on the upper part of your forearm, once it's got a hold drive your arm as far into its mouth as you can. This will stop it from being able to apply full jaw power. The simplest way after that is to either blind it, or get your full weight onto it's rib cage, ideally through your knees.

Even if you win you'll still be properly fucked up.

What ever you do dont let the dog take you to the ground. Your fucked if you do.

people who know about dogs all say the same thing "yeah, you'll get bitten pretty bad but if you capitalize on that you'll win against any one dog"

2 or more is a different story

I got attacked by a 30 kg or so dog around 4 days ago. He bit my arm, i punched his nose and fucking roared "No" . The fucker let me go instantly. Dogs arent that hard to fight, since if they take significant damage they will pussy out like most animals. Id say fighting a human would be much more dangerous.

>He doesn't have fucking TEETH

As long as a rabies shot is possible in the near future, it really is the best way to deal with enemy puppers

Kek. Let it bite onto your arm and slam it as hard as you can onto the concrete several times. I would also have no problem ripping out its eyeballs

Kek

youtube.com/watch?v=bE0Xv-94wh8

50 lb dog for reference

Its actually: fight, flight, posture or submit

SO LONG GAY BOWSER

well by the looks of things ive lossed all my weight, fat and muscle, as well as having become 2D, so im gonna have to go with dog

I have a 70lb pit/lab mix. Coin toss time?

Jeez.

am i the only one that would bet it all on a huge kick aimed at the head?

was waiting for the launch

It can smell where you are bro.

humans don't excel at 1v1 hand to hand fights with aggressive animals m8

implying you could unholster, aim at a moving target, shoot in time and not miss. lol

...

People are culturally conditioned not to hurt domesticated animals (except in the case of butchery).

I'll admit that I've tried running from a dog (got away once because people swim faster than dogs). Second time, it bit the fuck out of my leg and I had to use crutches for a month.

I've also killed an aggressive dog with my bare hands, it's not really that hard if you have even a few seconds to prepare. If it gets on top of you you're pretty fucked though regardless.