>have absolutely no social skills >no friends >no hobbies >no stories >all i do is browse Veeky Forums and watch movies in my spare time, when I'm not at work >haven't had someone i could call a friend in over a decade >when i have"conversations" with people it is just them talking while i just listen
how do i get friends? how do i have interesting conversations with people?
>overhear coworkers chatting, inviting each other to lunch and coffee >they laugh all the time at their conversations >almost all of their conversations involve things that have happened to them or their friends, or things they plan to do with friends (which i have none of) >sometimes they talk about music, sports or tv, of which i am not that in to
help Veeky Forums, I'll be a 30 year old khhv in a few months, how can i be social and turn my life around
Well, if you haven't figured it out by now you probably never will, but just talk with people you regularly interact with, like at work or the gym. Seek common ground with them.
Nolan Murphy
friends are a waste
just get girls with hot bodies
Sebastian Evans
>have nothing to offer >expect anything in return
What would you even do with a friend if you had one?
Kevin Adams
That's me OP but I'm also a shut in NEET
John Jenkins
you ask your coworkers if they want to have a drink at the bar on friday
David Young
which bar
Zachary Price
yeah m8 that's a vicious cicle. Unfortunately normies mostly like to talk about things they or their friends have done or seen on fb or insta. Your line about sports music and tv is bs though. If you REALLY wanted to fix it, you'd research these things and get into them. The talking about friends thing cannot be fixed, so generate other topics like the ones you apparently aren't interested in. Also people like to talk about themselves(or at least normies do) so focus on them
Owen Morgan
I wouldn't worry about it user, I used to be pretty normie but then I just stopped giving a fuck and now all I do is work lift and do fun hobbies, its comfy as fuck desu. Friends are usually more trouble than they're worth and women are cancer.
Joshua Sanders
How do you get girls without friends?
Zachary Adams
what do other people offer? and how can i get something to offer
like i wrote, most of my co-workers only seem to have stories to offer in terms of conversation topics
my co-workers have tried being friendly to me, but they realize i have nothing to say
Lincoln Martin
No no no you need to leave your safe space stop watching tv and movies right now today but a plane ticket to a bother country go on an adventure come back and talk to your co workers about your amazing adventure invite them to go out and do something with you listen to what people have to say and try to give a genuine response. Social interaction can be very difficult for ppl who dont have the instinctual responses like normies have. Ok it's hard man I have trouble too sometimes I'll try to talk to ppl and my throat will swell up like a balloon and I'll start to suffocate. Normies will never understand those feelings but if you try to might be able to understand them.
Adrian Long
How the fuck are we supposed to the name of your local bars? U have to at least try to do some of this for yourself
Owen Mitchell
We don't know your town. Choose a bat that looks like the type of place people can Instagram. Drink selections don't vary much and you have a job so price isn't too important, so all that matters it's atmosphere.
Brayden Roberts
Try to drink a little before work and join their table at lunch. Makes me a lot more talkative and brave, even if it's just a little alcohol.
Logan Cook
This is the road to alcoholism
Jeremiah Bell
You didn't answer my question. What would you do with a friend if you had one?
Camden Green
>how do i get friends? I would assume that your coworkers already see you as a person whose not really interesting/talkative so they wont really be open to being friends with you. I would join a local Basketball/Soccer club and try and meet people there. Joining a boxing gym is also a really good way to meet people and make friends, that's what I did. Just step out of your comfort zone and talk to people. Most people aren't cunts and will gladly participate in conversation with you.
>how do i have interesting conversations with people? Just talk about shit that you're passionate about man. Your passion will show through your energy while talking about shit that you care about. Other people can see that and will be more interested in listening. If there's nothing you're truly passionate about then that's another problem, but you can talk about your hobbies.
>I'll be a 30 year old khhv in a few months I'm a pathetic virgin as well who just got his first gf. Granted I'm only 20 years old but I forced myself out of my comfort zone and did everything that I'm telling you to do in order to be less autistic.
Good luck Veeky Forumsizen. We're all gonna fucking make it.
Lucas Wood
get a job in sales
Christian Russell
offer your boipussy to people
Austin Bennett
>they or their friends have done or seen on fb or insta i know, my coworkers are all into snapchat and discuss it regularly
>Your line about sports music and tv is bs though. If you REALLY wanted to fix it, you'd research these things and get into them. i don't find them interesting though
how do you go to restaurants without friends? i eat by myself everywhere and i feel awkward all the time
what kind of an adventure? i travelled to NYC and i saw the sights, ate some food and went home. wouldn't call it an adventure
that's not me btw
do things with them that i normally do alone? like eat at restaurants, party, travel with, or even play video games
right now i don't have a lot to talk about, so having a friend might give me more experiences
Charles Carter
PLEASE, sauce me.
Justin Reyes
>how do you go to restaurants without friends? i eat by myself everywhere and i feel awkward all the time
By not giving a fuck desu
>oh no some total strangers might be like "lol who's that creepy loser eating alone what a weirdo haha" even though they don't actually give a fuck or even notice you
like seriously nigger why do you even care
Tyler Adams
plus what are you gonna do if work sends you off to a conference or some shit on your own, not fucking eat? That's what most people will assume you're doing anyway, if they even think about you at all which they won't for more than 3 fucking seconds AT MOST
Easton Stewart
I love in NYC there is fuck all to do around here unless you're easily entertained by bright flashing lights. I'm talking about leaving America I went on a awesome trip New Zealand a few years ago and saw where LoTR was filmed. I hiked the Negev desert in Israel, climbed mitzadah, gone kayaking, camping. I'm a pretty outdoorsy type of guy. But ultimately you have to find something you like to do. Also now's a good time reassess your lack of interest in other things. Anything that I tried for a minute and just weren't interested in try again with the intention of becoming interested. Remember "if you're bored then you're boring"
Lincoln Long
>eat at restaurants, party, travel with, or even play video games
Guess what? You have hobbies. Go join a dining club or get into the LAN party scene. Do a bunch of group tours, then join a travel club and go on tours with people from that. People want to talk about those things in those settings.
Also, listen to . He's selling NYC short, but there's no shock like culture shock. Go somewhere you don't even speak the language. Ironically, you'll find things to talk about.
Connor Lewis
did you do those things by yourself?
>I'm a pretty outdoorsy type of guy. i don't know how to camp or kayak, i'd like to do it, but afraid i'll do something wrong (run out of food, get killed by an animal). like hiking a desert seems dangerous by yourself
speaking of hiking, i did hike Breakneck Ridge when i was in new york
David Foster
talk to everyone, find commonalities, be courteous to everyone, eventually people will talk to you and try to find commonalities with you.
in the meanwhile you should try to find mainstream stuff you like. because if you are like me you won't find commonalities with nobody, which is damning and makes you feel alone even amongst your past friends.
Henry Bell
who do i talk to? the only people i see regularly are coworkers.. and they don't seem to want to talk to me tbqh, especially when i have nothing to say
people have actually asked me what my passions and goals are, and i don't even have an answer for that
Jordan Thompson
This is a good post Have a (you)
Asher Wood
april summers kendra sunderland is a lookalike for that pic
jenna sativa karla kush
Levi Gray
>I would join a local Basketball/Soccer club and try and meet people there. Joining a boxing gym i am very bad at sports, not very good at cardio or handeye coordination
>If there's nothing you're truly passionate about then that's another problem, but you can talk about your hobbies. how do i get a passion? nothing really interests me the only hobby i have is watching movies really, and sometimes i read..
the thing is, none of my coworkers have hobbies. other than partying/hanging out with friends and traveling (with friends)
Aiden Garcia
read books on the subject
Jonathan Garcia
>people have actually asked me what my passions and goals are, and i don't even have an answer for that then find an answer.
you may have some dumb objectives on surface but there's an underlying notion in that. try to define which kind of notion is that.
see if at least one of them is constructive long-term and something to live by, if not you should probably look for something that fits that criteria.
if everyone you see are your coworkers than take a walk around the city center, look for something entertaining and in the way to it just look around and find someone that's suitable for a conversation, probably a qt.
or take a class or something that gets you in touch with a new bunch of people. that's the easy mode.
Julian Jones
why is she wearing nothing but a bra out on the street?
Kayden Ward
i've read how to win friends and influence people
i do listen and most of the times i let the other person talk, but i never know how to continue a conversation if someone asks me questions, i usually don't have any good answers too
>take a class i am thinking of doing this
>if everyone you see are your coworkers than take a walk around the city center, look for something entertaining and in the way to it just look around and find someone that's suitable for a conversation, probably a qt. most people i see on the streets are on their phone or with someone else. wouldn't even know what to say
Jayden Reed
Find a preferably female cuddle buddy in your area on reddit to watch netflix with. Eventually you'll develop social skills if you aren't too awkward, but chances are they are too. 30 is a little bit late in the game, but... if nothing else do some charity work abroad with kids. Nigerians are some of the happiest people in the world.
It's america bro, the real question is why is she wearing a bra and not reclaiming that nipple.
Brody Myers
I did new New Zealand by myself I had a a blast but there's nothing like seeing something for thw first time and I guess that's part of what i like about exploring nature and hiking I also did mitzadah by myself it's a pretty tourist heavy run In the summer tho so there's lots of random tourists to run into met some British guys and clubbed with them in jerusalem the next week so that was pretty cool. Sometimes you just have to risk it to get the biscuit.
Jackson Diaz
Also if you need advice on how to do anything check /out/ there's some pretty knowledgeable anons over there it's one of my favorite boards
David Stewart
I have no real friends either bro. The difference is i act social so i have "friends" but rarely ever go out. I don't really mind it because it gives me more time to better/focus on myself. Friends will come along the way of self improvement. Better yourself brah
Robert Sullivan
my advice OP: do not fraternize with coworkers. be don draper, outings should be few and far between. its a dangerous game to mix alcohol and coworkers.
you need to find friends by doing things and living authentically.
try classes on literally anything in your area, join a club (google local clubs), etc.
Start taking up a hobby or a class and learning something. Doesn't matter what, martial arts, dancing, painting, pottery. Something that you can go to regularly and maybe be around the same group. Find a 3rd place (Home, Work, ???) something where you can connect with a group.
Michael Ross
because shes a whore with a stick body and wont age particularly well so shes flaunting while her youthful days still allow her too
James Wilson
the second half of this post was to quote will look for a class i do want to learn another language, like French
oh god robots. i don't want to be alone. i'm somewhat attractive. i'm going to start lifting soon. but good god i've always been scared and depressed. I DONT WANT TO END UP ALONE I DONT WANT TO MISS LIFE
Jaxson Mitchell
get into raving, people there are really inclusive
Leo Rogers
I want to have sex with you.
Jack Powell
i've been using st johns wort for a month, has'nt really helped
maybe i should try it
Aaron Morris
don't tell me you actually count the bar
Oliver Miller
bump >tfw no qt3.14 gf
Brayden Bennett
...
Asher Stewart
...
Aaron Reyes
I feel like you made this thread before, same dude was posting pictures of qts as well.
Josiah Smith
i'm still a huge loser ;_;
Eli Ramirez
...
Jace Lewis
I've been chuckling for three straight minutes, holy kek
Tyler Peterson
that wasn't OP
Austin Flores
...
Ryan Howard
Asaf pls go.
Oliver Rivera
1. Limit your Veeky Forums time 2. Limit your tv time 3. Limit your sitting alone at home time 4. Act interested in other people. If you're out in public, don't act like the most important thing in the world is your phone. If you go to the mall and get tire of walking around pretending to shop and look at things, just sit down and watch people. Act like you're waiting for someone. 5. Don't wear funny or "ironic" clothing with stupid fucking logos and shit. 6. Find a hobby. Something. Find a few, make sure they aren't hobbies you do sitting at home by yourself. If so, find a club that participates in said hobby. A real person club, not an online club. 7. Talk to people. You don't have to hold a conversation. You don't have to small talk. Just smile and say "Hey" to people when you make eye contact with someone while walking.
After doing these things, the rest will come naturally. We shouldn't have to walk you through life. It's pretty easy, don't act like an isolated nerd and you'll pretty much start making friends.
Logan Foster
Thanks 3,4,6 and 7 look like the hard ones
7 seems the hardest, people rarely make eye contact. and saying hey seems out of the ordinary, never heard any strangers say it to each other. i do say hey to coworkers if i pass them
Easton Scott
UNDERRATED POST HOLY SHIT
Oliver Martinez
what did he mean by this
Jordan Thomas
Here is the greatest possible advice I have for you and I want you to stay with me until the end.
>Find a local ballroom dance school >Go inside and have a look >If the majority of the instructors are young and cute you're off to a good start >Tango, Foxtrot, Waltz, Rumba, salsa, swing >If it sounds interesting do it
The benefits of doing this are the following
>You will be within intimate proximity of a decently attractive female for the duration of your lessons >You will be picking up a hobby with very high social value >In doing this hobby you will develop stories >In the world of dancing women are abundant and strong, male leads have their pick of the litter. >You will develop great confidence in yourself as a result of your work and the relationships you build with other students >You tell any woman who isnt gutter trash that you can tango or salsa and you'll have their interest (obviously you don't lead into fucking conversations with it like some autist)
Rule Number 1: DO NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH YOUR INSTRUCTOR. Your instructor will be providing you with a fun, safe, and kind learning environment. This does not mean you fuck it all up and start hitting on her. You're safe to flirt but do not over extend thereby, "shitting where you eat."
When I got out of the Army I was incredibly alone, I isolated myself because fuck everyone else. I had the gym and fucking video games and I hated video games. Going out and learning how to dance got me outside of my comfort zone. I got myself a ton of friends who also enjoy dancing and I got a qt3.14 gf. It changed my life for the better and I'm only writing this much on some shit ass anime board hoping it'll make a difference in your life as well.
Levi Price
Honestly the best advice, unfortunately I'm dyslexic when it comes to music.
Benjamin Myers
>We shouldn't have to walk you through life. It's pretty easy
cmon now breh, it's the 'ch0n. we help one another out, especially on Veeky Forums
Carter Carter
become a pleb in music and movies taste, stop being a contrarian faggot with edgy opinions and try to be more open towards people
Kevin Cox
>hey guys, wanna watch a movie? [inoffensive action flick] is running, could be really great. >We could go to a bar afterwards.
Adam Stewart
>s-sure user, maybe some time later >I'm busy user, sorry >already got plans buddy >did he seriously just ask us to go out somewhere, like we don't even know him >what a creep, doesn't he have any friends to ask
I've literally had the exact responses or heard this behind my back after making such attempts. Never tried to creepy, was very genuine and outgoing about it and didn't even build up time of being an outcast before
Fuck People.
Evan Russell
do the opposite of what you're doing
Mason Cox
this
>hear a guy asking people out to dinner >"i can't make it, but have a good time"
Anthony Bell
should i take the private lessons or the group lessons?
Adam Ortiz
Thanks lad. Here's a (You) in return.
Sorry for replying a day late, but here you go.
Boxing doesn't require you to be good at hand-eye coordination. You'll be built from the ground up.
>how do i get a passion? nothing really interests me Trying a bunch of shit until you find something that makes you happy and makes you want to get good at it/learn more about it. You'll know you're passionate about something when you're constantly motivated to do it.
>the only hobby i have is watching movies really, and sometimes i read.. That's great! Talk about your favorite movies and some interesting books you've read. That's an easy conversation.
Levi Rivera
go see a psychologist or psychiatrist and leave Veeky Forums. you're basically whining about how you have no friends and making excuses to the obvious actions you should be taking.
Eli Martinez
Drinking for confidence only makes social anxiety worse. If you have to drink to feel confident, you won't feel that way in a sober state.
Also, showing up to work sauced can cause you to lose your job, make your drinking problem worse, alienate you from any friends you made at work, and increase social anxiety.
Best bet is if you have a social phobia, seek Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. Or if you want to work it out on your own, meditation, and look up cognitive errors and how your anxiety creates these errors.
Nolan Martin
This website has completely changed the way I see quiet weird people. I used to assume they were happy to be left alone and that even though they might be bitter and lonely, it was still a choice they were making not to engage in conversation or try to be sociable. I always thought they just didn't like other people. Now I'm starting to think that most are just scared or whatever.
Best advice I have is Xanax.
Isaiah Gomez
Ok, here's the best advice I can give you two. Don't ask people to hang out unsolicited, it's weird. If someone did that to you, you'd be weirded out/confused (possibly happy) by it.
Start by engaging in just office/school/extracurricular/hobbies/something nearby (a picture/statue) /a relevant situation (about a prof) chit chat.
Do this frequently for a week to two weeks with more and more people. Eventually it will become second nature. Occasionally, if some of these conversations lead to having a deeper conversation or having a really good laugh, you can totally ask them to go hang out.
If you've laid a successful foundation, then they'll either refuse & reschedule or hangout.
Regardless, who gives a shit if someone calls you weird for initiating a conversation. Only prudes think that shit is weird. Fuck I hate being this supportive on this Indonesian camel trading board.
Isaac Russell
>be me 30+ anondad >take son to sleep >son ask me to tell him some cool story about my youth >uncontrolable tears flow and tell him "I'm sorry, I'm really sorry" This happened to me some weeks ago.
Don't waste your lifes young dudes, don't make the same mistake I've done
Dominic Smith
Grass is always greener bro. I spent my youth partying and living like there was no tomorrow. Now I wish I had gone to college and gotten a good job and started a family instead. Maybe you never fingered a girl in a room full of people, but at least you've never had to go to rehab either.
Nathaniel Ross
Your new views on quiet people are correct. Very few people actually enjoy being avoided and stick to themselves because they're intensely afraid of having their fears validated once they get shut down.
Also, as someone on multiple depression and anti-anxiety medications, including Xanax, they only help calm the bad feelings, they don't change your bad habits. They won't make it any easier to engage people.
Juan Rodriguez
Makes it easier to pick up random bar sluts though. Unless you take too much and turn into a drooling nincompoop. That's the extent of my experience with them.
I'll admit I'm not the guy to be giving anyone advice about this.
Logan Flores
>Hi, welcome to planet ballroom! Would you like to sign up? >Yes, please. >Great! Where is your partner? >I-I don't have one... >Why are you even signing up for a dance class?
Nathaniel Turner
last bump help brehs
Ethan Flores
7 is literally the easiest thing on the list. You run into people all the time. You just acknowledge them if you make eye contact. A smile, a "hey" or "hi", etc. Simple. If you go into some kind of store, you're going to approach the a cashier (don't do self checkout, numbnuts), and smile and say Hi when you get there.
3 is also easy. You just go DO something. Go to the park, watch the wildlife, go to a zoo, local fairgrounds, etc. Some kind of event that isn't fedoraworthy (skip out on the ren faire, larp, etc).
4 is simple. You just look up instead of down and don't stare at people. Just see what other people are doing. Done.
6. While seeing what other people are doing (note that I said "seeing" and not "watching" because watching is creepy), you may see something that interests you. Check your local community paper or city hall, parks and rec, etc for free events to go to or volunteer opportunities. Volunteering is good, you'll run into more outgoing people that are less judgy. Again, you aren't TRYING to make friends, you're just trying to talk to people and change your mindset. Making friends will come naturally when you find the right people.
Austin Davis
thanks
Josiah Diaz
>sex >with a woman It's like you don't even care about your gains, brah.