Autist stories thread

> be 18, freshman in uni, freshers week parties
> one of the first people to arrive in my building so I got to know everyone
> first big night out, have a 20-30 people group to predrink with, go clubbing. Make out with 8/10 as a dare, laugh it off
> lose my group in the club, get really hungry and remember all I have back home is milk and cereal
> meet everyone back in my building's courtyard
> the 8/10 asks me in front of everyone, at around 3 AM, "user, come back to my room and let's watch a movie"
> I was still very hungry and didn't understand what she was hinting at "S-sorry, I have some cereal waiting for me back in my flat"

>be 2 days ago
>eating some nachos at the sports bar counter
>just me and a bro drinking a beer and chowing down on dem nachos
>I light up a quick ciggie at the counter
>a moderately hot chick comes to the counter to order a beer
>she turns to me
>"can I have a bite?"
>I dip a chip and proceed to put it near her mouth
>she scoots her head back
>I put it down next to her purse and nod my head to acknowledge
>she then asks the person next to her
>I can hear her clearly this time
>"can I have a light?"
>mfw

jesus user

>have crush on friend
>in friend zone
>she makes out with me one time when we are drunk
>after that begins making out with me regularly
>start fingering her
>says we can't fuck because she has boyfriend and would never cheat on him
>fingering her one night
>she moans "user just fuck me please"
>say haha don't joke about that
>she won't kiss me anymore
>mfw pretending to be ok around her now

>be 2007
>19 years old
>invited to this bon fire thing, my friend was graduating high school and this was his shin dig
>whateves I'm down
>we take his car and end up driving like 50 miles to the middle of nowhere, deep in the woods
>just a bunch of cars parked everywhere and a huge bon fire, we go out and mingle with the crowd
>bottles everywhere, I go hard
>drink about half a bottle of everclear
>feel myself about to black out
>I stumble my way to my friends car
>I get inside
>sleep
>wake up to a bunch of kids poking me with a stick telling me I got to get out
>it's like 6am
>I'm confused, but my memory is returning
>I stumble out
>only like 4 cars there now
>my friends car isn't there
>my cell phone doesn't have reception
>end up walking back hung over as fuck to the main road (about a 10 mile walk)
>all the while having no shoes, only one sock, and puking along the way
>cop thankfully was driving down the road and picks me up
>takes me back to my house
>called my friends to bitch em out, by they were looking for me for apparently an hour and assumed I left with others

One of the worst mornings of my life lol

>lifting for 2 years
>pretty good gains
>confident in my body and worked on my social skills
>know I have to feel rejection and expect to fail when approaching girls
>start talking to girls more
>see my target
>ask for her number after some small talk
>"I have a boyfriend"
>reply with "I do too" and walk away

I think I'm getting better at this.

Fucking kek

you did well, son. Honestly, not such a bad idea to leave a marker of interest, throwing potential bi-sexuality in there or some shit. Women get hung up on shit like that. However, bad situation to do so

(From friends perspective)

>squatting in rack when a cutie approaches
>"Hi! How many sets do you have left?"
>"Hey, I have 2 sets left, I will let you know when I am done"
He walks up to her
>"ARE YOU DONE?"
>he recovers from the autism and tucks the spaghetti back in his pocket just barely

> couple months ago
> at clothing store
> buying clothes
> men's on one half, women's on other
> go up to girl in women's
> she's dressed like the employees, pretty casual
> ask question
> "um, I don't work here"
> ".....................fooled me, I guess"
> walk away

Thanks for the laugh