Gym guards take away my dagger

>gym guards take away my dagger

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>I used to be a lifter like you, until I took a barbell to the knee

XD

>accidentally went lifting with the plague
>half of gym hasn't showed up this month

>gym wizard gives me protein dust
>turns out to just be protein powder

>accidentally attain enlightenment during heavy OHP
>realize that we are all one and I don't even need to lift the barbell because the barbell is actually me and is lifting itself
>let go and drop 200 lbs on my head
>wake up a month later, no longer enlightened
Shitty

>gym wizard wants to give me protein powder
>forgot to toss my protein powder bag into the fairy fountain to increase its capacity
>have to decline

*shin

>Forgot to tip the front desk warlock
>locker is full of gremlins since then
Evil aligned gyms are the worst

>gym wizard gave me a protein injection
>couldn't walk straight the next day

>gym trebuchet is out of order
>have to siege castles with manlets instead

>gym fortune teller says i'll break a PR
>drop loaded barbell on Protein Refiller machine

>siege castles with manlets
How does that work?

>snap my shit deadlifting
>only gym elf on duty wasn't trained to heal

Strap explosives on them and whip them into a frenzy, then herd them to castle walls for allahu akbar

Human pyramid but thousands

>ask for advice on deadlifting
>gym necromancer almost makes me accidentally summon a skeleton

>go to gym
>hip carrying pistol
>squat 3 plate
>girls mirin
>moonwalk the fuck out

umm user??

Step ladder

>just finished my 4th set, realize I forgot my water bottle
>gym paladin notices and gives me some holy water

t-t-thanks

How do I convince the desk maiden to let my crew take on higher level machines?

>all the iron equipment is taken
>have to use the old wooden equipment
>splinters all over my hands

>break training sword from hitting the dummies too hard
>go see gym blacksmith
>total dwarflet kek, not even 3'9"

In most dungeons you have to get past the PT quest first.

kek

ITT grade A autism.

>Tfw lift heavy on leg day
>Tfw cleric won't heal me Because his god is manlet
>Tfw have to pay for protein potions
Mfw
>

>gym guards tie me to the stocks for not yawning and drinking water between sets

>take a plate I tought noone was using
>gym mage punish me for thieving
>fireball to my face

>Do you believe that my being stronger or faster has anything to do with my muscles in this place?

>not wearing armor to gym
>chortlingharlots.exe

>gym alchemists says he'll stop making strength potions

>Take pipebomb to gym to scare off bullies
>I got arrested

wtf

>no weight on leg press

>that guy who wears leg plates to the gym

>Gym pope declared a crusade against the crossfit shitters down the street
>Guaranteed 1/2/3/4 lifts if I partake in the bloodshed

Wish me luck brothers

You lift hard and eat pigeon soup while LANCELOT eats WHEAT BREAD and still conquers the maidens' virtues

>be me
>be dyel rogue
>be running on running wheel to stay fast
>in comes this jacked Barbarian guy definitely on potions of giants strength
>benching boulders
>oneitis elf starts flirting with him
>leaves with oneitis
>mfw

Should I just crossclass? :(

>/fitg/
I could get used to this

What's worse is he was a fukin orcnig.

Can we even compete with the BOC?

just cloak and spec his ass next time he lifts something heavy over his head

>Mr. Noone comes in
>he's also pissed
>gives you matching plate to the face

Suck the gym mage's dick and get him to cast a weakness curse on him

Fuck that dude, last time I sugged him off he broadcast it on a Arthurian woodburning Magen network. :/

Hey there brethren! I bring news of a famed champion.

They call him Jeffrey of Seid. All bask in his glory and sing of his deeds! Even greater than the hero Zyzz.

What say you?

Oh fugg

BIG
ORC
COCK

You can't compete, your elven waifu is sending me lewd scrolls as we speak

DISPOS OF THI

Race baiting ogger. The only female virtues you get are from the not so virtuous disease ridden swamp orcresses back at your home

I saw Jeff Seid at a market in the town square yesterday. I told him how blessed I was to make his acquaintance in the flesh, but I wished not to be a heathen and bother him and ask him for tapestries or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face.

I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my poultry and vegetables up front I saw him trying to walk out the gate with like fifteen sweet meats in his hands without paying. The girl at the stand was very nice about it and upstanding, and was like “Sire, you need to pay for those first.”

At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the stand. When she took one of the treats and started examining it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to examine them each individually “to prevent any divine infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she examined each treat and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

>that guy who stands still in the middle of the gym for 6 hours selling his uncommon free weights

>gym creeps getting stronger
>i make my offering to Vladimir and recieve 15% gains-steal within a 5meter radius

That's heathenry m8

That sounds like fun.

I love this thread

>girl in the back at :21

fucking lol

its worse when he has to yell every minute

>SELLING FOR

Who wants Hambeast gear anyway? Do we look like we frequent the hog troth and tumbler brothel?

>tfw you have to go to a different gym and change characters starting at 0 month progression

Fake n gay

>in yon gymansium
>espie a fair maiden
>she meets my gaze
>i avert my eyes posthaste
>she approaches
>"Sir Knight, thou art most endowed with strength of the Body!"
>"A-aye, milady"
>"Were it you seated 'pon a jousting steed, I daresay I would bequeath upon you my favor"
>"A-and also unto you"
>Egg-noodles poureth from my satchel

>pocketsand

My sides!!!

>gym squire offers me a towel
>grab it
>its wet

>doing farmer's walk
>gym guard tells me no peasants allowed
>call him a gym rat
>he gets bubonic plague

This is not funny

>gym squire offers to wipe down machine for me
>let him
>sit down
>its wet

...

>ask gym squire to spot my bench press
>watch in awe as he takes a sharpie and draws spots on the bar
>"all done sir"
>his hand out for a tip
>mfw

>he sips potions between sets

We shall not meet in Valhalla

>forgot my +12 str underarmor at home

guess im not deadlifting today constables

This is the worst fucking post I have ever seen. Still laughed tho

>preparing for deadlift
>finally see the potion seller
>ask him for his strongest potions
>he tells me they're too strong for me
>attempt to prove him wrong with a new pr
>snap my shit up
>"you'd better find a seller with weaker potions"
>mfw

>ask gym squire to hand me the dumbell
>yawn, shut my eyes, and take a swig of mead
>he hands me a small brass bell in which he crudely carved "dumb" on the side of
>his hand it out for a tip

Hahaha

hello potion seller

>tell gym squire to get my lifting gloves
>he is gone for hours
>go looking for him
>apparently he panicked and couldnt find them
>gym squire stole, slaughtered, and was in the process of tanning the hide of a local farmers swine
>mfw i have to pay for it
>mfw the gloves werent even good

>same squire
>tell him to go fetch me muscle recover potions from nearby apothecary
>tell him to put it on my tab

Mf comes back beaten half to death toting an unconscious priest.
Pic related.

>tell gym squire to deliver message to local lady i admire
>"something" happens
>find out he shoved a hot iron rod up another mans ass after the man farted in his face
>im supposed to pay for it
>mfw

fuck chaucer

>walking along
>notice my squire is gone
>hear lady scream
>see squire raping innocent lady
>beat him on the spot and save lady
>ask to bed her
>bitch says no
>bed her anyway
>fastforward a week
>found guilty of taking a lady's womanhood even though bastard squire already took it
>set for death
>queen halts it
>challenges me to find out what women desire most or else i die
>whynot.stainedglass
>wander for a literal year asking every single woman what she desires most in the world
>1000 different answers because everyone is retarded in 1066
>find old hag
>she says she will tell me the answer if i agree to marry her
>basically have to, ill die if not
>day of reckoning
>tell queen women desire control most of all
>all women in room agree
>im forgiven
>remember i have to marry hag, she enters
>room laughs
>i sigh and reluctantly marry this old dirty hag
>she asks why im sad
>say she is a hag
>she gives me two options: either she stays a hag and is faithful or turns hot and sleeps around on me
>tell her idgaf let her decide
>she says it was a test all along
>mfw this old bitch hag warps back into the squire
>mfw he demands a tip

>decide to wear fire cape to the gym for str + pray bonus
>forgot my barrows gloves at home
>the bonuses were disabled anyways because someone snuck in for free, making the area F2P

FUCK

>gymkeeper decides to double calf gains tax to balance the gains economy
>gymbandits frequent the calf machines
>the more experienced bandits are known to seize up to half your gains for that day
>calf gains potions are out of stock till next month

>whynot.stainedglass
I split my lip, very nice

>2015+2
>not carrying RPG
>no pocket eggs
>no questing cape
>no gf
>excessive gyno
Why even bother?

>gym sphinx banishes me from the free weights for getting its riddle wrong

>gym witch flaunting her backside towards my visuals
>demand to the gymkeeper to remove this succubus at once
>gymkeeper throws me out and takes away my sash full of gym tokens used to enter the gym

Fuck sake

>the gym twink keeps grabbing my ass

>the gym twink won't grab my ass

>the gym twink pozzed my ass

This is dank, I remember the actual story you're refrencing, it's one of the knights of the round table, right?

>stamina buff wears off mid workout
>left creatine pots at home

MAGIC ISNT NATTY
SORCERORS BACK TO YOUR CONTAINMENT THREAD

>tfw gym twink replaced by gym twank

>buy Potions of Great Mightfrom gym alchemist
>be careful user you're not a high enough level to use those yet
>"yes Sir Dyel ill be careful"
>smug_laughing_helmet.tapestry
>use all the potions at once
>die in the Chamber of Dragons Breath
FUARKETH

>letting them take it from you

youtu.be/Khyzj5toqwA

>what all women desire
>anything but VISAGE. STATURE, and NOBLE BIRTH

>go to grab last barbell out of barbell stone
>it won't budge for some reason
>a few people saw me try and fail to get this barbell so im embarrassed and decide ill just do cardio today
>gym nemesis, guy named Arthur, struts up to the stone, grabs the barbell, pulls it right out
>everyone in the gym drops what they're doing and cheers for him
>he's crowned king of the gym

bullshit

holy shit

My fucking sides

glow2:wave: sell 5k barbarian plates

anyone know where i can buy potions? is it true they shrink your loinstones?