Fit humor

kek

It did she is my gf now

pics or it didn't happen

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update me breh how did dinner go? spill any more spaghetti?

top keku

Was the JAV about this literally based off of this thread or was it just a coincidence that it opened with a guy making eggs for a scared girl he found passed out the night before?

>armed with a baseball bat we keep near the door because we're rednecks

Rednecks would have a gun. This probably happened in the suburbs somewhere.

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if this is real then it's beautiful

I've done big story like things like this before though and I had people fooled for literally weeks

idc though cause it was a fun ride

tell me what happened next user...

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>Fully clothed in CBT post

Wew lad

W-what? Source, now!

Can someone post the weight plates with a fleshlight?

>I start smacking it over the head with my bat while my cock and balls swing in the moonlight

FUCKING KEK BRAH

lel

Kek
I have an autism story that happened to me today
>just got back from the gym
>walking to my college dorm
>inb4 college is for the jewz
>always have headphones in when I out walking to avoid conversations with people
>I am about 100 yards away from the dorm and I get stopped by one a qt azian rady who also lives there
>she taps me on the shoulder and is walking with me
>"Hey, where did you just come from?"
>oh shit, I have to act normal and have a conversation
>"h-haha I just got back from the gym
>she starts flexing and says "oh really, I've seen you been going there since the beginning of the semester, you are really dedicated!" she sounded impressed af
>"h-haha ...thanks, where did you come back from"
>"the library"
>"cool..."
>awkward silence for a couple seconds
>almost to the fucking door
>we have a quick convo about our majors
>she says hers is communications
>I say "Psh, what do you plan on doing with that"
>"umm....I don't know I guess"
>Right as she says that she opens the door for me and walks away
>Don't even thank her
>Didn't get her number
Rate me how well I did.

She compliments you several times, and started the conversation, which is unusual for girls.

You insulted her major and laughed nervously and likely did something retarded with your hands.

4/10

Mechwarrior is my shit, and you are also shit.

I didn't mean to insult her major.
I was genuinely curious on what someone could do with a communications major.

Veeky Forums dropping in on you meatheads

the problem is most people (especially in more liberal arts oriented colleges ive found) dont PLAN on doing anything with their degree, theyre just getting a degree. its baffling.

It's not that crazy. 18 year olds don't game a comprehensive life plan

i mean i understand not having a life plan, i still dont, but it just doesnt make sense to me why you wouldnt at least major in something you KNOW you can do something with, i mean youre paying upwards of 100 grand in total, you might as well put heavy thought into it, but alas i am but a lowly autist.

oh but also i meant that he shouldnt have expected her to have a comprehensive life plan when he asked her, shes likely just majoring in communications because it interests her more than other majors she has seen/heard of

First two things he said to her
>hahhahah I lift things up and put them down
>your major is useless
Then he watched her walk away.

exactly

The image she sent you is a screenshot of a desktop, and she was at work

You people really believe she's browsing Veeky Forums at work, in front of other coworkers? I know you degenerates do this but think of a desk lady. It would be very easy for a coworker or supervisor to walk by and spot her browsing Veeky Forums, which will stasticially likely have a picture of a naked dude in plain view, or something...

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legit laffed thanks user

I keked hard, Veeky Forumsggot bro.

underrated

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nobody cares

thanks for the abs workout

Gold.

i'm not user, but i live on 60 acres and although i'm not a redneck i am a country boy, but if i hear my dogs barking and freaking out, half the time i take my axe or my bat outside instead of my rifle. you can generally tell the gist of what's going on outside by the pitch, frequency, and voice of your dogs barks.

Learn how to react in a way that will make her feel what you want her to feel.
"I am learning about a thing"
>What drew you into that field?
>What do you enjoy about communications?
"Just came back from the library"
>Were you reading anything interesting?
If you want to change the subject
>Nice, Where are you off to?
If something
>Take interest and tell her what you're up to when she asks
If nothing
>Me neither, I was thinking about going (on a walk/to get lunch/something she might invite herself to)
When you part ways
>Talk to you later/See you around/Enjoy the thing you said you were going to do.
Body language is important too
>Smile and nod slightly as you're saying goodbye
>Walk confidently and make eye contact when one of you is starting or stopping speaking

youtube.com/watch?v=DRdMHbzjrlU
Dude I swear these are synchronized

Fuck why did I find this so funny

So you want me to interrogate her with every think she says basically?

*every thing

It's not interigation, just normal conversation

Where in Upstate, brother? I grew up in Oswego.

>go to open mic (its a tuesday so not packed at all just a small group)
>sitting at bar with guitar on my back (i know the bartender)
>girl sits right next to me and smiles
>avoid eye contact
>ask bartender for prices on their new drinks
>girl pipes up "Ill have two of whatever he wants"
>"oh youre buying me a drink?"
>"yeah :)"
>bartender: "she wants your dick bro"
>look at her, shes still smiling at me.
>welll uhhhh.... thanks for the offer. Its quite alright.
>why not?
>I... uh... im not that thirsty
>okay, well when you want a free drink let me know
>spend the rest of the night avoiding eye contact
>can feel her eyes on my neck
>she leaves right before i perform
>shake her hand "we will meet again im sure"
>"i hope so"

she looked sad, what did she mean by this?

If she was below a 6, then I would have done the same thing. If it was a 7 and up, then I would have flirted back.

I want you to remember that people love to talk about themselves.
People like it when you get them talking about the thing they care about.
People also like it when you show genuine interest in the things that they value.
She's trying her own version of that
>"you are really dedicated!"
>"compliment you on the thing you obviously take pride in/work hard at!"
Try the same and see what happens

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I don't want to be a robot and be interested in something I'm not.
Where's the fun in that?
I want to date someone who is qt and interesting, not hot but boring.

Jason Blaha 2.0

outalpha.com/why-girls-hate-the-dad-bod/

" “You see what I mean now, girls? Ten minutes ago you were telling me how you wanted a nice guy who would treat you like a princess, yet here you are getting all turned on by me even though I was a complete fucking douchebag. How can you explain that?” I remarked.

The first girl said “I don’t know. I hate you, but I like you at the same time. It’s weird.”

The second girl said “There’s just something intriguing about you. I can’t put it in words.”

"I just sat there in a calm and collected fashion, as I sipped on my cool glass of lemonade.

After about 5 minutes of them ranting at me, I cut them off and said “So when are we fucking? Next Tuesday or next Saturday?”

They quickly glanced at each other, as their eyes and mouths widened.

“What did you just say???” they barked.

“You heard me. Are we fucking next Tuesday or next Saturday?”

Interestingly enough, they started giggling and eventually began playing my game.

They would say things like “You are so bold! You are so bad! You are something else!”

Just as expected, they were coming on to me.

As they got closer to me, I put my hands up, gesturing to stop."

"So when I’m walking down the street, you best believe that I am the center of attention."

"Girls are staring at me left and right. They come talk to me. They giggle when they see me. They get turned on when I approach them."

How do you know who she is without talking to her?
She could have been reading about Something you are interested in.
She might have some of the same hobbies or personality traits that you like.
If she's physically your type then why not chat her up a bit and see if you like her?

>posting shit too small to read. kys faggots.

painfully fake but i wouldn't expect you retards to get fooled by anything more

No, you told to get interested in the things she values.
I don't mind asking her what her major is. But if it's communications, I am not going to act interested in that, because I don't find communications interesting.

To get with her you're gonna have to show interest in what she does and what she likes ect

jesus christ the delusion

no words

Does grandpa need his glasses?

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Yeah, and I told you that if I don't find her interesting then I don't want to get with her.
If what she is telling me is boring, I don't want to go out with her.
I am not going to act interested in a boring hot chick. I want to be interested in an interesting hot chick.

nice try faggot
quality pasta

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That's cool if you're just not into her based on your conversation.
You did ask how you did so I gave some suggestions for future conversations.
What I'd like to communicate is if you want to have the potential for strong relationships maybe you should be interested in the persons you're talking to.

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Exactly

l-lol

and this is why you sit here and post
>"D-did I d-do go-good Veeky Forums?"
>"tfw no gf"

My question is, why be interested in something I'm not though?

This just makes me sad now

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You don't have to be interested in it you just have to ask questions about it and give her a chance to talk about things she likes, everybody likes talking about things they're interested in

I'm saying it's a tool you have in your social kit.
Use it to assess them.
Interest is powerful

You just told me that I should bIe interested in the person I am talking to though.
I agree that everybody likes talking about things they're interested in.
However, I am either going to change the subject if I am not interested in what she is, or I am just not interested in her entirely.
Don't get me wrong, I am not trying to say I have to be interested in every subject she is talking about. But if someone is telling me their major is communications and I am not interested in hear about why they choose that field, why are you telling me that I should be interested in it when I am clearly not? I don't give a shit about it, nor do I care if they are interested in it. If I'm not interested, I am just going to change the subject until we find something we both find intriguing.

not sure how there were so many faggots that couldn't recognize a shitty rehash of an old greentext

As you shouldn't judge a book by its cover, don't judge a person by their major.

It's general advice
"I'm in bio"
>cool what variety?
"I'm in microbiology learning about cancer growth and treatment."
>ask about the work, school, labs, recent lessons that she thought was cool
>whatever about that you think is neat
If it's communications again then the thing you gain about asking why she likes it is you see what she cares about
"I want to better learn how to help people express their true intentions in relationships/business"
"I have communication problems and decided to take some classes to improve my ability"

Classic

>I am just going to change the subject until we find something we both find intriguing.
Alright. Sounds good. Do that next time.

fuark this got me a good chuckle

Veeky Forumsggot here,

Raf simons Rick owens cost me 200 g's but the Rat SImons cost me 200°Cs to burn alive

I have to laugh to hide my pity.

Now I have to explain to my wife why I am laughing like a psychopath while taking a shit. Thanks annon

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holy shit I really needed this. thanks.

L U N K A L A R M

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