Head hurlers

Hellenic.

Get the mod for Medieval Total war 2 named 'Europa Barbarorum 2', playing the Ptolomies faction should give you a good look at various military and administrative aspects of them.

twcenter.net/forums/forumdisplay.php?454-Europa-Barbarorum-II

but would people still darken their eyes like prostitutes?

It was all for the sake of making a good game. And guess what, it's still the best in the series.

Major cities would be Hellenize, out in the farm not to much Hellenization other than occasional government officials. The army for the most part was Macedonian and Greek immigrants forming a pike phalanx and Macedonian nobles forming Cavalry. For most of the Ptolemy rule native Egyptians served auxilliary roles. (think Roman Auxiliaries just not as organized) Later they did allow native egyptians to serve in the phalanx

Rome 2 was the most historically accurate total war game because CA consulted historians while making it. Then they went back to Hollywood trash with Attila.

Yes it was one of the quirks of the nobility there, but it was common throughout the Middle East. Greeks often talk shit about eastern makeup and how effeminate they can be.

discord.gg/bATCZH

Gamers in x

That's why people who actually care about history play Europa Barbarorum, not RTW

>Headhurlers
Celtic tribes dipped enemies' decapitated heads in lime and threw it at an enemy army before the battle, wasn't a unit though.
>Barbarians are naked
Many were
>Screaming women
Celtic and Germanic tribesmen took their children and women with them and in some Germanic tribes, women cheered in the battlefield, Tacitus mentions this
>Rome is divided into 3 multicolored factions
It's for gaming purposes
>pigs
They were used against Pyrrhus' elephants, but not en mass, and they didn't run while on fire.
>Egyptians
It's to differentiate them from the other eastern and hellenic factions
They could've included historical accuracy but that would otherwise throw the fun outta the window.
Berserkers too weren't units too, some Berserkers served in Norse chieftains' retinue.

Ayuckshully, even the Celts themselves viewed Naked warriors as coming from a more barbaric age.

The only time the Romans encountered such niggery was during the Battle of Telamon.

>The fire pigs didn't exist in real life

That hurt.

Was the depiction of Ptolemaic egypt in the HBO rome series accurate

Nope.

For starters they still had Nubian Medjay when the royal guard of the Ptolemaic Kings were actually Celtic Galatians (or people dressed in their armor.)

Kinda like a Varangian Guard.

>And guess what, it's still the best in the series.
Provided it has the Europa Barborum mod which makes it so historically accurate that the units speak and issue commands in their native languages.

Otherwise Shogun 2 was the better, and I say that as a Romaboo

Reminder that Brutii faction is for soy boys
Julii is for virgins
Scipii is for CHADS.

Buttfucking each other?

Not the best unmodded or modded Total War by a long shot. I get it was your first but the game was mediocre on its own and had the misfortune of following one of the best Total War games.

Tell us more, please.

Rome 2 with the newest update turns it into an okay backstabbing political faggotry simulator

with Divide Et Impera it turns into a stressful disaster relief simulator just like Attila

Rome only did romans accurately. Every other culture depicted was fantasy

*inhales*

>Conquer greece, asia minor and all coast of the Mediterranean from rhodes to libya
>distance to capital
>fucking 50%+ public order loss even with capitol in the dead center
>Either your Italian cities go to shit or your Egyptian cities go to shit
>Take Rome and the entire peninsula
kill myself.
This also happens when I play seleucids, greeks or egyptians.

That game's history was still better than real history, if only because you could save the glory of Rome. ;_;

>almost worst game in the series
>best history
God...DAMNIT!!!

Rome 2 is boring as fuck, 50+ years a no wars, just building stuff and clicking end turn, nobody wants to start a war with you because you're the most powerful nation on map
if you start wars, then you lose diplomacy points and risk civil war, literally no fun allowed game

you just suck ass and cant play for shit, brainlet

then what should I do? mindlessly conquer shitty AI factions (most of battles don't even need to be fought if you max out experience of your troops and armor/weapon upgrade) and then fight random doom stacks of opposing Romans?
'fun'

you dont understand the faction system if all you get is civil war, ive completed the game with zero civil wars multiple times

Start a game as a different faction, get DLC, or play multiplayer, most TW games turn to shitshows late game. Heard the new one tried to fix this but I cant speak on it

I didnt get to the civil war stage yet, my 'civil war meter' is still empty, but I'm paranoid as fuck about it
only factions I could really fight some indecisive wars are my allies since almost start of the game
RTW1 was far more fun desu, especially late game when you fight attrition war with Brutii using late game units

eh maybe but I think I'll stick with MTW2, I guess I'm too old to learn the way of new games

>Society
>A million years
What are you smoking senpai.

In a word: yes. Especially the roman doomstacks. That's the best part.

>implying Total War even pretends to be historically accurate

Still waiting for the autistic cross between CK2 and Medieval II.

>Greeks talk about how effeminate they can be
>while sucking big fat thracian cock

>HURR DURR why is a game based on rapid military conquest not historically accurate REEEEEE
Nobody cares what autists think, load EB if you want some fixes

>I am too afraid to actually play the game
>Why does it suck tho? XD

I mean, I don't really see the issue besides the crown.

Fake and gay. Everyone knows that the Irish were black.

>head hurlers
Flinging bodyparts at enemies was a genuine military tactic.
>barbarians are naked
As many did fight naked, correct.
>screaming women
Women do scream quite often, especially when people are dying.
>pajama persians
Pic related, far right.
>Rome is divided into 3 multi colored factions for some autistic reason
To simulate civil war, for gameplay purposes.
>2 of those families didn't even exist IRL
Families with names Julii, Brutii and Scipio all existed.
>attack pigs
Were used against elephants.
>Egyptians look like they're from 2000 BC not Ptolemy Egypt
Only sensible complaint you have, you edgy faggot.

thanks for not reading anything I've written in this thread

SPOILERS: Celts go out of the world more by the 270s BC. Either as conquerors and/or Mercenaries and traders. Adapt Greek & Roman traditions such as notions of citizenship, a form of organized government (albeit local), some weapons (mostly armor, like helmets), and NOT GOING AROUND STARK NAKED.

Rome is divided into factions so they could simulate the Marian and Caesarian civil wars in an engine that couldn't create factions midgame

>its another pretend to be elitist while conveniently ignoring that you gained your interest in history from some other trashy piece of media episode

mashallah

me on the right

>fun gameplay
>distinct factions with unique strengths and weaknesses
>unforgettable soundtrack
>got thousands of people into history
>memes
literally nothing wrong with this

>julian family didn't exist
>cornelii didn't exist
>family of Brutus didn't exist

Just because you're gay doesn't mean these families didn't exist

Spot the brainlet

imagine how much tight egyptian pussy those galatians got
the jelly is real.

>2 of those families didn't exist

what? the brutii killed the last king, the scipii conquered libia (among other things) and the jullii were the descendents of venus. The Junii (i can't remember if they were in game or not) were also real

what are you talking about

Rome 2 has Egypt as an actual Hellenic nation.

Out of Rome and Medieval II, which one is worth the most headache for the best mod?

Roma Surrectum? Stainless Steel with Titanium Submod? When will Europa Barbarorum II be done (or at least have a Marian reform event)?

Hated that fucking mechanic so much.

At least let me build a courthouse or retainers HQ or something.

...

>implying all egyptian pussy wasnt already strechted out

Not a historian have just seen this before. The families are misnamed to appeal to pop history. This is from memory so I could be wrong but I believe the Brutii were based on the Junii but had their name changed to reference Brutus.

And one of the other two had a similar problem don't remember which. I think it was supposed to be the Cornelii and got switched to Julii or Scipii to seem more familiar.

Point is you are wrong and need to Google it because I know enough to know you're wrong but not enough to accurately correct you just point you to the general area of wrongness.

It's really not a bad game. Most of the issues at launch have been resolved through patches. If you haven't played it I'd give it a go

...

Still has the problem all the new games have with the cookie-cutter province builds and the army limits where you can’t send out individual units. Shifting your units around and deciding which ones move forward and which ones need to be sent back for retraining was some of the only real strategy actually present in the series and now it’s gone, replaced by mindless auto-replenishment. Each unit had more personality and uniqueness to it because they don’t replenish so you have to keep track of them and plan your conquest with replenishment in mind, for instance you might think “I need to replenish my knights so I need to take that castle” or “I need the guild building in that city so we need to conquer it” stuff like that is missing from Rome 2. It was still present in shogun 2 with the resource system adding some strategic elements but they seem to have ditched most real strategic elements in favor of buffs. In shogun 2 you actually need a horse resource to make cavalry for instance whereas the same feature in Rome 2 would just be something lame like “15% charge bonus for cav” instead of having real strategic meaning.

>(or at least have a Marian reform event)?
it already has it brainlet.

>5th century
>Facts_Achaemenid_Persian_Empire_army_5.jpg

I agree with most of what you said. In theory there is a historical precedent for armies being tied to a general rather than just the central government, but it's implemented poorly gameplay-wise.
Also divide et impera fixes many of the other issues you have, I sometimes forget I always play Rome 2 and m2tw modded.

The Parthian army did not resemble the Achaemenid one at all. It was a massive cavalry force.

And as for infantry they had pretty mixed ones, from Eastern light infantry types to Greek subjects in Greek equipment.

>thinks ptolemies alexandria iscrepresentative of every city in egypt and the conscripts from which ptolemeian armies were raised.

Cato yourself.

No they goddamned wouldn't.

Can confirm

t. Someone who never got sick of BTFOing Carthage, Greek Syracuse, and
N U B I A N S

I think people forget that the parthians were an offshoot of Alexander’s Hellenic successors and therefore had a lot of Hellenic influence in their armies. This can be seen by their reliance on heavy cavalry modeled after Alexander’s companions which was not popular in the region until Alexander introduced heavy cavalry to them. Before Alexander, middle eastern cavalry was light and relied on hit and run rather than decisive charges. People don’t realize that the companion cavalry were more influential to the Middle East than the foot companions who get more credit than they deserve really. They would gotten beat a dozen times without the companions to save their asses.

yes, all those nisean horses were used for hit and run attacks.

They didn’t even have saddles back then m8 heavy cavalry wasn’t even thought to be possible until Alexander rode in.

>White egypt

no

our men are fleeing
the battlefield; verily,
a shamefur dispray

Scythians did heavy cavalry shit way before Alexander did. And it was their influence that was chiefly felt in the region.

The only thing Macedonians contributed was the Kontos.

neither did alexander.
Alexander did not create heavy cavalry, he created shock cavalry.

...

Perhaps you’re right, he didn’t invent heavy cavalry he invented a new way to use heavy cavalry which was then adopted by the Middle East. The Middle East has cataphracts before Alexander but they weren’t used like later-era cataphracts or companions, as you say Alexander pioneered the tactics of using them as fast shock cavalry, cataphracts are slow, they can’t do the kind of shit that the faster and lighter companions could do, partly because of the development of the wedge formation which was a huge tactical improvement over the middle eastern model and like you said, the kontos which allowed them to go toe to toe with spear infantry.

Because they catch hell from diversity warriors for missing an opportunity to cast brown people. True, there's been lots of so-called whitewashing, even in recent years. But there's some folks out there who think that because Egypt is in Africa, they must be black. These people are of course not ignorant or racist or anything and bristle at the suggestion of such.

True, Egyptians have gotten whiter over time; in fact the new Census forms include Egypt as an example "origin" to clarify "white" racial identification. Along with Lebanon and couple others which will confuse the shit out of big-W White People, who surely believe they would know a Muslim if they saw one.

It's partly for this very reason that Lebanese, Syrians, Egyptians etc. do remarkably well for themselves in the US.

nigga, I ain't installing it until it's done

>playing Barbarian Invasion as the best roman empire
good times

TRIARII

>mod
>done

CREEEETAN ARCHERS!

the veterancy in the game was nuts

because they want to distance kara boga from the white mans science

...

TRIBUNII

The cool kids played Medieval instead of the casualized "we want the hollywood audience" game.

The royalty was Ptolemaic

I'm saying, people don't know anything other than superficial things about Egypt, and that early Egyptian civilization was the exact same thing as Egyptian civilization during Hellenistic-era to them.

Also, it's pot.