Post your favourite historical keks

>"HAHAHAHA THAT DONKEY ATE FIGS"
>dies

isnt there some story about all these european diplomats in a room in the middle of a heated debate, then it gets quiet, someone farts, and slowly the whole room burst into laughter

>Gavrillo princip starting WWI because he went to buy a sandwich
This one isn't true. Both in that he went outside Schiller's Deli to disguise himself in a crowd, not to get something to eat, and that sandwiches were practically nonexistent in the Balkans at the time.

yes
>1899 French President Felix Faure had a stroke when a regular visitor named Marguerite "Meg" Steinheil was making a blowjob
>stroke probably caused by aphrodisiac abuse
>Meg was the "regular visitor" for many gentlemen including the king of Cambodia. She died in 1954 as a Lady after she married Lord Robert Brooke Campbell Scarlett, 6th Baron Abinger

To be fair, a DONKEY, eating FIGS???

FUCK DOGS

Archduke Franz Ferdinand actually survived a bomb
Than he heard people got injured and made the motorcade pass around to visit them
The dumbass driver lost his way and passes the cafe Gavrilo was sitting in

...

Again, not true, the driver didn't get lost, he abandoned the revised route devised in case of an emergency and went back to the original route.

Honduras and El Salvador went to war over a series of Fifa World Cup qualifier matches in what was dubbed the "Football War" in 1969. Although the larger context for the conflict revolved around Salvadorian migrants taking jobs from Honduran workers.

>Be Wilhelm II
>Be depressed
>Be taken on a hunt by some German generals/politicians/statesmen etc.
>Ya boi Dietrich tries to cheer you up by dressing in a tutu and dancing like a ballerina
>Dietrich has a heart attack and dies
>Kaiser still sad

nice

FUCKING QUADI GET OUTTTTT REEEEEEEE

>American paratroopers succeed to destroy Germany Artillery on D-Day because during the trench Engagement two Germans wanted to set up an MG instead of taking their pistols or wielding it, so they get shot by a lucky American Greenhorn with a Tommy Gun

>not laughing your ass off at that joke
CHRYSSIPUS allegedly DIED of DISDAIN FOR PLEBS

>dhey tuk urr jerbz!

You are not making this joke justice, in context it was clearly hillarious

>laughing at your own jokes

He deserved to die.

I can't stop laughing HELP

The Russian Baltic fleet during the Russo Japanese war was a meme.
>stop at Madagascar to resupply
>buy thousands of opium cigarettes
>bring animals on the ship
>snake bites captain and he dies

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harold_Holt
>Holt loved the ocean, particularly spearfishing, and had holiday homes at Portsea, Victoria, and Bingil Bay, Queensland. On 17 December 1967, while Holt was spending the weekend at Portsea, he and four companions decided to drive to Point Nepean to watch sailor Alec Rose pass through The Rip on his solo circumnavigation attempt. On their way back to Portsea, Holt convinced the group to stop at remote Cheviot Beach for a swim before lunch – he had spearfished there on many previous occasions, and claimed to "know this beach like the back of my hand". Because of the rough conditions, only one other person, Alan Stewart, joined Holt in the water. Stewart kept close to shore, but Holt swam out into deeper water and was seemingly caught up in a rip current, eventually disappearing from view. One of the witnesses, Marjorie Gillespie, described it as "like a leaf being taken out [...] so quick and final".

see ya later harry

>Memorial is a swimming pool

>Gavrilo Princip starting WWI because he went to buy a sandwich
He had already planned to be in that spot beforehand to get a better shot at Franz

What joke? Didn't he literally die from laughing at seeint a donkey eating figs?

...

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Athletics_at_the_1904_Summer_Olympics_–_Men's_marathon
>The first to arrive at the finish line was American runner Fred Lorz, who had actually dropped out of the race after nine miles and hitched a ride back to the stadium in a car, waving at spectators and runners alike during the ride. When the car broke down at the 19th mile, Lorz re-entered the race and jogged across the finish line.
>From then until the end of the race, Hicks received several doses of strychnine sulfate (a common rat poison, which stimulates the nervous system in small doses) mixed with brandy.[4] He continued to battle onwards, hallucinating, barely able to walk for most of the course. When he reached the stadium his support team carried him over the line, holding him in the air while he shuffled his feet as if still running. The judges decided this was acceptable, and gave him the gold medal.
>A Cuban postman named Andarín Carvajal joined the marathon, arriving at the last minute.[6] After losing all of his money in New Orleans, Louisiana, he hitchhiked to St. Louis and had to run the event in street clothes that he cut around the legs to make them look like shorts. Not having eaten in 40 hours, he stopped off in an orchard en route to have a snack on some apples, which turned out to be rotten.[6] The rotten apples caused him to have strong stomach cramps. Despite falling ill from the apples he finished in fourth place.

When I was in 3rd grade they taught my class that slaves in the south didn't escape to the north, but they escaped to Canada

I accepted it and went on with my life until slavery was brought up again in like 6th or 7th grade and my teacher thought I was fucking retarded when at some point I got confused when there was a lecture about slaves following the underground railroad to the north, and asked about the canada shit

That teacher of mine from 3rd grade also said that Abraham Lincoln was the first black president

>Gavrillo princip starting WWI because he went to buy a sandwich
>a sandwich
Fucking burgers stop trying to burgerize everything, holy shit. He was just standing near a café. I'm surprised you didn't say he was walking out of McDonalds.

>this guy's entire life

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Henry_Hammond

> Lorz immediately admitted what he had done and said he had only been joking
>Len Tau finished ninth and Yamasani came in twelfth. This was a disappointment, as many observers were sure Len Tau could have done better if he had not been chased nearly a mile off course by aggressive dogs.
>Another near-fatality during the event was William Garcia of San Francisco. He was found lying in the road along the marathon course with severe internal injuries caused by breathing the clouds of dust kicked up by the race officials' cars.
People used to just not give a fuck, huh

118 years ago was a hell of a drug
>was about to type 108 but it’s been sufficiently more than a hundred to just say ‘a hundred’

>Be me, Publius Claudius Pulcher
>Be commanding my brand new Roman fleet during the first Punic War
>Gonna surprise attack these Cathaginians
>Need approval from the gods first
>Sacred chickens won't eat their fucking food
>Maybetheyrethirsty.jpg
>Launch them overboard
>Get btfo in battle
>Return to Rome in shame